tuscl

Did You Ever Have a Wife or Girlfriend Who Was a Stripper?

reverendhornibastard
Depraved Deacon of Degeneracy
I never had any “serious” emotional involvement with a stripper, but my first wife went through a phase during which she wanted to be a stripper.

One day after work my wife and I found ourselves trapped in unusually horrendous Houston traffic. After 45 minutes during which we only progressed about 30 yards down the road my wife pleaded that we just pull over ANYWHERE and do ANYTHING else other than sit in traffic.

I pulled into a parking lot at the first opportunity. There was a club at that location called “La Bare.” They featured male strippers.

My wife insisted we go inside. I was less than enthused but agreed anyway. Anything would be better than sitting in gridlock memorizing the license plate of the car in front of us.

We walked up to the club’s front door where we were met by an enormous man who looked like a linebacker in a tuxedo. Pointing a meaty finger at my forehead he boomed, “You can’t come in here!”

“Why not?” I demanded. I was already a lawyer and was not (easily) intimidated by enormous linebackers wearing tuxedos.

His tone became more pleasant, “That’s just the policy around here. No men are allowed. I think they’re trying to keep out the gay crowd,”

“Well, I’m not gay!” I explained. “This is my wife and she wants to go in and see the show. I’d like to accompany her.”

The 350 pound tuxedo gave me two options, “You can enter with your wife if you pay a $50 cover charge or ...”

“Or what? What’s plan B? I’m not paying a $50 cover charge!”

I had just graduated from law school and $50 was a lot of money to me.

“ ... or you can come in if you’re planning to audition.”

My young wife hopped up and down excitedly, “Thar would be great! You should audition! You’ll be a big hit with the women!”

I was very young and very fit in those days but I knew I had no business stripping and shaking my cock on a stage for the benefit of a bunch of horny women. First of all, I had worked hard to earn my law degree and had just recently received my license to practice law. I was not anxious to be disbarred for engaging in public lewdness. Beyond that, I was no dancer and I certainly wasn’t an exhibitionist.

I expressed all my reservations to my wife adding that I didn’t own suitable stripper attire. “I don’t think the women inside will be satisfied seeing me onstage stripping down to my wingtips, black socks and pinstriped boxers! Isn’t a male stripper supposed to end up wearing only a hot dog bun or some whipped cream on his penis? As you well know, I didn’t bring any hot dog buns or any whipped cream.”

I suggested she go inside anyway and enjoy herself. I would go have a drink at a hole in the wall bar located in the same strip mall a few doors down from La Bare and wait for her to come back out.

But my wife was reluctant to enter La Bare alone. So we hopped back into our car and rejoined the gridlock. Twenty minutes and about a block down the road she again insisted we pull over and do anything else.

I pulled into another parking lot and we found ourselves in front of Sugar’s. At the time, Sugar’s was one of Houston’s premier titty bars offering lap dances. It operated near the corner of Westheimer and Winrock. The club closed down ages ago.

“So now I suppose you want to go in there and see some naked dancing girls!” my wife teased.

“We don’t have to.” I said. “Look, there is a KFC right over there. We can just go eat some fried chicken and kill some time before we rejoin the traffic. Maybe the traffic will have thinned out some by then.”

But my wife didn’t want any KFC and said she’d go sit with me in “this Sugar’s place” as my reward for at least trying to accompany her into La Bare.

My wife had never seen a place like Sugar’s! She was amazed at how hot the dancers were, how tiny their G-strings were and how lewd the lap dances were.

We sat in the club for about an hour, maybe a little more. We did not buy any lap dances but my wife did tip a dancer on the stage.

When we left the club the traffic was still horrible but now at least it was moving. During the next hour as we made our way home all she talked about was what she had seen in Sugar’s. In fact, her experience at Sugar’s was a frequent topic of conversation in our home for the next several days.

“It must be quite a turn on for the dancers to be up on stage, practically naked and having every man in the club staring at her, wanting so desperately to fuck her!”

My wife seemed to be voicing a new sexual fantasy.

A few days later she announced her desire to be a stripper - “just a few times, just for the thrill of it.”

She asked if I would mind.

Despite my deep reservations I went along with the idea. It was her sexual fantasy and, as her husband, I felt I was well placed to reap the sexual rewards of allowing her to pursue this cockamamie idea.

“You will have to buy some suitable clothes first,” I told her. You can’t just prance onto the stage in your panties and Birkenstocks!”

The following weekend we went to some shops that sold dildos, massage oils, raunchy DVDs, minuscule G-strings and stilettos. She found what she needed.

When we got home she put on her new stripper outfit. I was enormously impressed. She truly looked the part! She had the figure, the youth, a pretty face and a tight, athletic body! All she needed now were some over-sized hoop earrings and about two pounds of industrial strength mascara!

I had never fucked a stripper at that point in my life so I took the opportunity to ask her for a lap dance right there in our living room. Afterwards I fucked her good and hard on the couch.

My wife’s new sexual fantasy was paying off already!

Next we had to decide where she wanted to debut. She didn’t want to debut in a club as big as Sugar’s. She thought she’d be less intimidated in a smaller, less glitzy place with fewer dancers who looked like international underwear models. So we drove around and scoped out some smaller clubs until she found one she was comfortable with.

Once inside, I told her she was going to have to approach the management about auditioning. “Don’t tell them you just want to dance once or twice for grins,” I cautioned her. “Tell them you’d like to added to their roster of regular strippers.”

I was confident the manager would sign her up. My wife still had all her clothes on but was already the hottest woman in this small, neighborhood strip club.

My wife was out of sight with the manager for quite a while. I became a bit concerned about her safety.

She eventually returned - all smiles. The manager agreed to let her dance! She kissed me and headed for the dressing room.

About 30-40 minutes later the DJ introduced a “ ... hot new dancer fresh in from Austin who is making her first appearance our stage! Please put your hands together for Candide Yammz!”

I was the one who had come up with her stripper name so I knew damn good and well who was about to take the stage.

When she stepped onto the stage my tongue fell out of my mouth! My wife was barely recognizable. In her tiny G-string and thin, sequined tank top, strutting and shaking her fine ass under the multicolored flashing lights, she teased the audience by pulling her G-string down as far as the rules allowed. Then she fell to her knees and peeled off her tank top before rolling onto her back. Splaying her athletic legs widely in the air, she pretended to manually please herself like the dancers she had seen at Sugar’s.

She was now a smoking hot stripper!

She did, however, wisely stay off the pole.

During the second several older men and a kid who looked too young to be in the club approached the stage and tipped her. She got on her hands and knees and rocked provocatively as if daring them to touch her sexy ass that was fully revealed by her spaghetti thin G-sting back.

I also approached the stage and tucked two $20s into my wife’s flimsy G-string.

My wife got up on stage twice more that evening. She was clearly having the time of her life.

When we got home, I fucked her twice on the carpet in our living room as soon as we had closed the front door.

I had never fucked a stripper before!

My wife never got on stage again, but I’ve been fucking strippers ever since.

50 comments

  • jackslash
    5 years ago
    Great story! "Candide Yammz" is the perfect stripper name.
  • Papi_Chulo
    5 years ago
    How old was your wife then? Is she still your wife?
  • gSteph
    5 years ago
    Damm Rev, you be coming up with the best stories lately. Thanks
  • lotsoffun201
    5 years ago
    Actually I was married to a stripper for 15 years. That’s the problem.... now I only want to date strippers and trashy women
  • Papi_Chulo
    5 years ago
    I'm a bit too buttoned-up to date a stripper - for one the thought of her getting groped by strangers on a nightly-basis is not appealing - also I wouldn't wanna be hearing about her strip-club drama.

    After all this time on TUSCL I think I could perhaps date a stripper as a fling-thing but not anything serious - but currently don't really have the desire to date at all really, stripper or not - I love the NSA aspect of SCs as a custy.
  • Omg u probably know this but u have the best stories lol...
  • Muddy
    5 years ago
    Yeah sure that’s her ass in my photos and it’s actually what got me into strip clubs in the first place and brought me to tuscl.
  • Bavarian
    5 years ago
    Great story, Rev. It seems like lawyers have the best writing skills.

    Even if we wanted to a stripper, PLs can’t match the excitement of dating a drug dealer. Our lives are too mundane for them. They crave drama and excitement.
  • skibum609
    5 years ago
    I would never consider OTC with a dancer so dating or marrying is a non-starter.
  • reverendhornibastard
    5 years ago
    @Papi Chulo

    My wife was 25 years old at that time.

    She is no longer my wife. She was wife #1. I’m now on wife #3.

    Well, actually I’m not exactly ON wife #3. She’s still asleep about 7 feet from me. Besides our kids are in the room and they’re already awake.

    Wife #1 and I divorced about 6 years after her stripper fantasy for reasons related to my chronic inability to keep my pants zipped up. I guess I’m kind of like the old country western song, “The Zipper Is Always Open On The Trousers Of My Heart.”

    I subsequently dated a few strippers but never took any of them seriously. To me they were just unusually gorgeous but certifiably slutty gold diggers. I’m don’t think they were interested in anything except my money.
  • Papi_Chulo
    5 years ago
    👍
  • reverendhornibastard
    5 years ago
    @Bavarian

    I spent a long career as a successful writer but you are unlikely to have ever read anything I wrote. That’s because I spent decades writing and negotiating the “fine print” in mega international business transactions.

    There are few tasks more mind-numbing in this world than that!
  • reverendhornibastard
    5 years ago
    @Nicole1994

    “Omg u probably know this but u have the best stories”

    Let me drizzle some splooge on your pink parts and I will post some humdinger stories about you, Cupcake!
  • DeclineToState
    5 years ago
    Great story, well written. Could've been an article but then it would've taken a month to get published. @reverend, are you still writing mind numbing transaction documents or are you retired or transitioned to another line of work?
  • reverendhornibastard
    5 years ago
    @declinetostate - retired but planning to return to work after I get back to the USA.

    I worked all my life and I miss it.

    Besides, if my young twins taught me anything, they taught me to appreciate Monday’s when I can go to work and rest.
  • @rev you didn't tell us about wife #2?

  • bang69
    5 years ago
    Yes I dated 2 strippers
  • reverendhornibastard
    5 years ago
    @Nicole1994

    Wives #1 and #2 were both American women, both Caucasians and intelligent.

    Wife #3 is Asian and seems to be the smartest of the three.

    All 3 of my wives have two things in common:

    1) they married a dirty scoundrel; and

    2) they all deserved much better than they got.
  • twentyfive
    5 years ago
    @RevHB so you’re the guy responsible for increasing my workload, a fine print author, the worst kind of lawyer, below divorce attorneys and ambulance chasers
    ;)
  • reverendhornibastard
    5 years ago
    👀
    👃🏻
    👅
  • Icey
    5 years ago
    Most of the girls I've dated have been stripper hoes. TBH it was never an issue...still isn't. Their job never had a negative impact on us.
  • reverendhornibastard
    5 years ago
    @IceyLoco

    My dad used to tell me, “Son, you will eventually learn to appreciate that there is nothing more wonderful than the love of a good woman.”

    To which I replied, “except, maybe, the love of a truly bad woman.

    My dad’s coffee came out of his nose.
  • Icey
    5 years ago
    Reverend, I like to think of them as good girls with bad habits
  • "Let me drizzle some splooge on your pink parts and I will post some humdinger stories about you, Cupcake!"

    @rev: you are unjustified in making the above comment....me being on a strip club website does not allow you to do this, given that I have not welcomed such attention from you either.
  • I am offended. .its ok bye
  • Nidan111
    5 years ago
    ^^^ no offense intended, but if you are offended by the shit on this website, then why the hell are you here? Go back to Facebook or twitter or wherever you feel
    “Comfortable”. Seriously.
  • no offense intended, but if you are offended by the shit on this website, then why the hell are you here?


    Excuse me? I never said I was offended by the "shit" on this website, which would be a very general claim.

    I was pointing out something specific that was unjustifiably said to me .. And that is something that does not pertain to the nature of this site.
  • Nidan111
    5 years ago
    His comment was perfectly fine for this site. Perfectly fine.
  • And btw why are u taking offense to the fact that I'm offended ? Lmao wtf smh..



    for this site.

    For this site..for this site??? This site is a forum to discuss your hobbies naked women whatever etc .

    this site DOES NOT allow you to be a keyboard gangster and speak to me in a way in which you would not in public.
  • Nidan111
    5 years ago
    Actually, it kinda does.
  • ^my campus allows people to walk into buildings without ID's. Doesn't think that implies that the administrators are asking criminals to come into schools and shoot us.
  • Icey
    5 years ago
    This is hilarious, its okay for the tricks to feign offense when someone they dislike says anything.... Yet one someone is offended by them, they dismiss it or act like its unfair....


    @Nicole, you have to take these guys with a grain of salt. Men who resort to having to pay hookers don't have the best social skills lol
  • Nidan111
    5 years ago
    @nicole, not sure what that has to do with current bullshit conversation, bit You are always FREE to defend yourself in the event that some asshole is going to come in and shoot you. For me, I will simply shoot back and do so with accuracy. Just because they don’t “feel” it is inviting does not mean that it won’t happen.
  • reverendhornibastard
    5 years ago
    @Nicole1994

    When I am in a strip club, I feel comfortable making scandalous suggestions to the nearly naked women I meet in there. I justifiably assume that the women who assemble in such clubs waiting in the dark for men like me to show up, their pants bulging with cash and bad intentions, will not take offense if I signal a desire to get juicy with them.

    When you enter the TUSCL website, you should bear in mind that “TUSCL” does not stand for “The Union of Sanctimonious Celibate Lutherans.”

    If you were offended by my compliment, you should definitely not hang out here.

    This site attracts a lot of perverts.

    Everyone else seems to understand this.

    How do you commute to the U.T. campus?

    Do you have to ride the “short bus?”
  • Nidan111
    5 years ago
    @nicole. All the BS aside, when are we going to cuddle ?
  • When you enter the TUSCL website, you should bear in mind that “TUSCL” does not stand for “The Union of Sanctimonious Celibate Lutherans.”



    Do you have to ride the “short bus?”

    No..but do you? You had to resort to making exaggerations and putting words in my mouth to make a point. I never assumed or implied you all were saints, but i also dont understand how a forum about you talking about strippers allows you to make an extreme sexual comment towards someone you don't know. Sure, some guys have commented on my physical appearance on here, but there are obvious do's and don't when making such comments .

    The sexual nature implicit in the strip club business may normalize you oggling women in the clubs...but even then you don't downright randomly go up to another female customer in the club who isn't a stripper and ask if she will suck your dick , do u? And neither do.you generally ask a stripper who u don't have a relationship with to suck ur dick or something like that , do u? If you did , that would b socially awkward .

    Similarly , the sexual nature of this site is similar to that of a strip club, as it is a forum that is mainly dedicated to discussing what goes on there. Therefore, in the same vein, the "sexual undertones" does not always is insufficient to justify making overt sexual comments to random women



  • like hey guys..since you think that the sexual nature of this site allows you to at what u want, then can you please tell me why you don't go around asking random female crusties at the club to splooge on them(I'm a female custy not a stripper)?

    Like.plz tell me why u don't do that.thanks.

    ^that's the real question tho.
  • like hey guys..since you think that the sexual nature of this site allows you to at what u want, then can you please tell me why you don't go around asking random female crusties at the club to splooge on them(I'm a female custy not a stripper)?

    Like.plz tell me why u don't do that.thanks.

    ^that's the real question tho.
  • like hey guys..since you think that the sexual nature of this site allows you to at what u want, then can you please tell me why you don't go around asking random female crusties at the club to splooge on them(I'm a female custy not a stripper)?

    Like.plz tell me why u don't do that.thanks.



    ^that's the real question tho.
  • reverendhornibastard
    5 years ago
    What are crusties?
  • reverendhornibastard
    5 years ago
    @Nicole

    The wise deer does not hang out around the deer blinds even if she is not there in her capacity as the “intended prey”.
  • I meant custies.


    @rev ...rapists can be everywere..I.g at work, in the classroom,etc. That doesn't mean that you tell females not to apply for regular office jobs because they could be intended prey....... ....
  • @nidan you're defending someone who said something that was both unwarranted not so nice to me ..then you Claim that a certain conversation js pointless , yet insert yourself into it, but then randomly change the subject about it to cuddling


    ..........you think I would wanna cuddle with u?
  • Nidan111
    5 years ago
    cuddle?
  • "when are we going to cuddle ?"


    Umm yes cuddle...^ that was ur exact question to me in ur previous comment.
  • reverendhornibastard
    5 years ago
    @Nidan @Nicole

    You might consider inviting Icey and his buddies so everyone can enjoy a rough anal train cuddle.
  • rogertex
    5 years ago
    "Isn’t a male stripper supposed to end up wearing only a hot dog bun or some whipped cream on his penis? As you well know, I didn’t bring any hot dog buns or any whipped cream.”

    That's a surprise. Reading your adventures, I assumed you were prepared for any occasion.
  • reverendhornibastard
    5 years ago
    @Rogertex

    In all honesty, we’d had the office Christmas party earlier that day and I had already used up all the hot dog buns and whipped cream.
  • rogertex
    5 years ago
    ^ really good judgement. feeding office workers a good-cheer meal instead of satisfying the carnal instincts of girls at a male strip club.

    ... and really, them girls - do we really believe they get all excited about a show involving hot dog buns and whipped cream - when all they want is that self-creaming hotdog.
    girls can be such hypocrites !
  • reverendhornibastard
    5 years ago
    @Rogertex

    Be careful with your comments. They may be interpreted by some as very general comments impugning all women worldwide.

    There are some people on this website who have built an entire lifestyle around being constantly offended.
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