Comments by ricktheturtle (page 2)

Hairless apes pretending to be cats are the worst. Far worse than psychic friends which only exist to separate retarded apes from their money. If some retarded ape wants to give another retarded ape his or her money that is not rick business. But a damn dirty ape pretending to be a superior creature like a cat - even a Felis catus cat - is rick business. I don’t think this “General” character is worth real effort on the part of the lion or the shark, but he certainly deserves a crab claw to the nuts! Aah...yup!

Don’t get too big for your britches ski-ape. There are only three or four truly successful hairless apes on this planet and they are all named rick! I really don’t know how successful you are relative to this random person but it is axiomatic that neither of you are in the same league as the ricks. So get yourself some humility and realize you’re just a damn dirty ape! Aah...yup!

You know who has the loosest pussies? Kemp's ridley sea turtles. A Kemp's whore wouldn't even notice on of you apes inside her. She needs it turtlestyle. Aah...yup

Come on rick, if she's a female hairless ape you know she likes it turtlestyle. How about we make the airtight ape. You in her ass, me in her pussy, and her tongue on the vulture's cloaca. Aah...yup

Enzy female hairless apes also like to do it turtlestyle. Just tell her you have a turtle bud that you hang with. Any reasonable stripper I'll go crazy about the idea of getting a turtle cock in the vajayjay and an ape cock in the rectum. Just some advice, turtle to hairless ape. Aah...yup!

I look for the SA girls with LITS on their profile. Those are the girls that like it turtlestyle. Aah...yup!

Well chessmaster, we ricks promote an open-minded and tolerant attitude. As long as you don't do anything obnoxious we will welcome you. This attitude extends to rick-sanctioned vulture clubs. Aah...yup However, I recommend you buy a nice suit so you can get attention. Let me know if you want to visit a vulture club. We can meet up. I'll buy you a beer. Maybe encourage a sexy lady turtle to show up. Aah...yup Have you ever fucked an Eastern box turtle? I'm a bit big for a box turtle but since you are a hairless ape you might be just about right. Aah...yup

I am with Deuce. This thread was not necessarily disparaging Jewish hairless apes from the beginning. Aah...yup However, I will say that you hairless apes fixate on incredibly minor differences within your species. Growing up I dated a sea turtle for a period of time. Did my parents care? Well, they warned me not to go swimming in the salt water with her but that is just common sense. Aah...yup Now I'm just a badass, suit-wearing turtle that fucks female hairless apes. As long as they are hot I don't care about their religion or skin color. Hell, I even fuck some of the hairier ones when I'm feeling kinky! Aah...yup

Titty sucking for less than $200 isn't that out of the realm of reality. I've found that the female hairless apes like my penis so much that they will do with me turtlestyle for free. Aah...yup

Why are you hairless apes so focused on penis size? You even have to bring up the size of your phallic sex toys. Aah...yup The hairless ape penis is a disgusting thing. Tiny. No spines. Every female hairless ape that has fucked a turtle or lion has said that they would never go back to male hairless apes. Aah...yup

Don't worry about hairless ape law enforcement. The council of ricks is pulling the strings behind the scenes. Pledge your loyalty to the council and become a junior suit-wearer and we will take care of you. Aah...yup Unless you're Dougster. He has insulted the smartest hairless ape on the planet far too many times. Aah...yup

The council of ricks is still devising a cyberwarfare policy as we speak. As a group of suit-wearing badasses we actually do not have much experience with the dishonorable lardass idiots that make of 99% of hackers. I'm looking at you Dougster. Aah...yup

I've asked the lion to track the two of you down and go wildebeest on your asses. He's promised me some apeskin boots. Hairless apeskin. Aah...yup

You apes are so puritanical. It's hard to believe you're related to bonobos. Aah...yup Among turtles parents fucking in front of their offspring is normal. As is the offspring doing it turtlestyle in front of their parents. You apes need to be less repressed. Is it the relative lack of hair that makes you so hung up? I think it must be. SMH. Aaah...yup

I'm boycotting the Oscars due to their lack of diversity. #Oscarsohairlessape Aah...yup

I call for a moratorium on new terminology in the glossary until "turtlestyle" is added. Aah...yup And I'll also call for the addition of "BSLC" in support of my lion brother from another mother. Aah...yup

And I'll add that us turtles find it perfectly normal for a dad to fuck any females in front of his son. You apes are the weird ones. Aah...yup

I'm sorry you were offended by my friend pole dancer. Sometimes rick doesn't understand that some female hairless apes find vultures offensive. Aah...yup Of course, I'm not crazy about hairless apes that are prejudiced against other species. You damn dirty apes are too big for your britches sometimes. Aah...yup. And trust me, rick has plenty of money. He is a trusted member of the council of ricks and has access to all rick resources. Aah...yup

I'd offer to let you taste mine crazyjoe, but my bread isn't buttered on that side. Aah...yup My buddy Big Mo likes the males. If you're sufficiently sexy he might let you blow him. Aah...yup Just be careful, Big Mo is an Alligator snapper. If you don't do a good job blowing him he might turn around and take off a body part or two. Aah...yup

You hairless apes have boundary issues, don't you? Aah...yup We turtles respect personal space. If a turtle pulls into his or her turtle shell it's like hanging out a "do not disturb" sign. Aah...yup That attitude extends to the rest of our lives. Aah...yup

Good idea. Aah...yup Sometimes you apes surprise me. Or are you a testudine? Aah...yup We turtles like to polka. They could run a nice polka track while I scope out female hairless apes willing to do it turtlestyle. Aah...yup

I bet this customer was a hairless ape. Aah...yup I don't expect much from you damn dirty apes. Aah...yup

So you're only a 7 Sheba75. I worry that you might be grading on a curve so I'm not sure if I really want to fuck you, but it's a possibility. Have you ever done it turtlestyle? Aah...yup

Few diseases are virulent enough to infect a rick. Add to it the fact that few diseases can jump the species barrier from hairless ape to testudine. So I am doubly protected. Aah...yup

Since Sir Mick is almost as much of a badass as ricktheseacucumber I'm going to try to get him status as an honorary member of the council of ricks at our next meeting. Aah...yup