Comments by ricktheturtle (page 3)

Turns out the slutty dancer is just a casual friend of Sir Mick's. That guy should really be a rick. Aah...yup www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/mick-jagger-not-relationship-mother-8431275

Smh. Hugh_G._Rection is such a sad name. Assuming that you're a hairless ape all I can say it rickthebarnacle's penis dwarfs yours. You're on the rick list. Someday you'll turn and see a lion wearing a suit an carrying an AK. Then it'll be wildebeest time for you. Aah...yup

Shut it Juice boy. You're criticizing the smartest hairless ape on the planet. Stop that or a certain lion will pay you a visit. Aah...yup

I don't see why you think SJG was hacked. He posted a comment that is perfectly normal for any normal hairless ape. Aah...yup

Bavarian, don't kid yourself. All of you hairless apes, male and female, are worthless. A scourge. The only worthwhile hairless ape is rickdugan. Aah...yup That said, I do like getting female hairless apes to do it turtlestyle. Aah...yup

Did you ask the species of her last boyfriend? If he was a turtle you should be flattered. Aah...yup

We ricks are very frugal. If any of us can refine the system to save additional money we share the information. Aah...yup If it wasn't for that Dougster troll we would have shared more of that valuable information with our fellow TUSCLers. But sharing with that troll was pointless. Aah...yup

The female hairless apes do have big titties. Sometimes I pay a female hairless ape to lie on her back while I put he big old titty in the concave part of my plastron and hump away. Not quite the same as turtlestyle l, but still fun. Aah...yup

Swimming with sharks isn't bad. You hairless apes are far more vicious. Aah...yup ricktheshark is actually pretty laid back. And he's a bonnethead. rickthewobbegong is possibly the most laid back rick in the world. I visit every time I'm in Australia and he literally stays at the same spot on the sea floor for days. Weeks even. Aah...yup

I go for Uber, but some hairless apes won't pick up turtles. Damn racists. Aah...yup

And don't worry, I know where I am in the scheme of things. rickthebarnacle reminds me how well endowed he is every time we talk. But he's stuck on the side of a container vessel whereas I can go where I please. Aah...yup

I'm sorry, but all of you hairless apes have tiny penises. Itty bitty. Maybe that's why you're so obsessed with their size. Deep down you know they're tiny. Aah...yup There was one hairless ape that went by "Long Dong Silver" that had an adequate penis by turtle standards. Adequate, but well below the median penis size for a turtle. Aah...yup But take heart. Apes have tiny penises. Yours are actually pretty big relative to chimps and gorillas. Aah...yup

That's what happens when you piss off the council of ricks. Aah...yup Just look at what we did to Dougster. Aah...yup

Perhaps surprisingly, all of the Floridians I've met are classy and smart. But they're mostly cooters. And a few snappers. You haven't heard jokes until you've talked to a snapping turtle. Funny creatures. Aah...yup

You hairless apes are insecure. We turtles are comfortable in our shells. We ricks are geniuses. So my life is good. Aah...yup

Have you figured out how to pay hookers for sex Mikey? Probably not. You're a damn dirty ape. If you were a genius ape like rickdugan maybe, but our rick brains are far beyond you typical ape brains. Aah...yup

Rabbits are disgusting. There is a reason why you'll never meet ricktherabbit. Rabbits eat their own shit. Ricks don't eat their own shit. Ricks are geniuses that have mastered the theory and practice of paying hookers for sex. Aah...yup

I'll follow up by reiterating my advice to s88. Grow a shell and have the courage to take what you want. I know that you're only a damn dirty ape so you need to picture yourself in a turtle shell every time you fell your confidence diminishing. It'll help. Aah...yup

John, listen to rickdugan. He's the smartest hairless ape on the planet. You would be amazed by how rapidly he figured out how to pay hookers for sex. Aah...yup

This is ridiculous. S88, you need to grow a shell and have the courage to take what you want. I know that you're only a damn dirty ape that doesn't know how to pay hookers for sex but you seriously need to get a grip. Picture yourself in a turtle shell every time you fell your confidence diminishing. It'll help. Aah...yup

Larry, I suspect Gawker's secret is that he's a turtle. Once a female hairless ape of any age does it turtlestyle she's willing to do it with a testudine of any age. Aah...yup

Some of you hairless apes disgust me. Aah...yup

I usually bring $200. If I convince a hairless ape stripper to give me a BJ they always want to fuck for free. One hairless ape bitch squirted the moment she say turtle dick. Aah...yup

I still fucked her though. That's how turtles roll. We're horny creatures. I'm double horny because I'm also a rick. Aah...yup

I saw my ex recently and she was fat with a capital F. Bitch looked like a damn sideneck. U-G-L-Y she ain't got no alibi. Aah...yup