ricktheturtle

So lock up your daughter before she starts doin' it turtlestyle!

Aah...yup





I'm an African American (I recently immigrated from Zanzibar) and I was a turtling around when one day a vulture wearing a suit flew down. He asked me my name.





I said "aah...yup...my name is rick"





He then revealed my birthright, which allows me provisional membership in the Council of Ricks, 10% off on suits at Rick's Warehouse, and three get out of jail free cards for DUI. Being a rick kicks ass!





Now I'm a suit-wearing turtle that's learning how to get the most when I pay hairless ape hookers for sex. I support the coming cat revolution because you hairless apes have ruined the planet, but I bear your species no ill will. In fact, some female hairless apes are quite hot and I want to do it turtlestyle with them. My vulture bud told me to come here for advice.





Aah...yup