Finally! Today my application for a patent was approved. The patent protects my rights on my my latest invention, the world’s first “Ejector Pants.”
Negotiations are already underway with Levi Strauss company for the marketing, sales and distribution of Ejector Pants on a global basis.
Ejector Pants are fully automatic! There are no annoying, cumbersome wires, not even a hand-held remote control to fuss with. Sophisticated sensors in the crotch area (similar to those used in “rain-sense” car windshields with automatic wipers) detect subtle changes in pressure and moisture in your trousers, triggering a patented mechanism that automatically thrusts your blossoming love muscle out into the fresh air, ready for action!
The deluxe model of Ejector Pants comes equipped with a spotlight and a set of speakers that automatically play a fanfare similar to the familiar one used at the commencement of 20th Century Fox films just as your penis makes its grand entry!
I anticipate that the Ejector Pants will sell extraordinarily well. They are certain to become an indispensable addition to the wardrobe of every serious strip club aficionado on the planet who believes the world revolves around the needs and whims of his Vienna sausage or kielbasa!
