Finally! Today my application for a patent was approved. The patent protects my rights on my my latest invention, the world’s first “Ejector Pants.”
Negotiations are already underway with Levi Strauss company for the marketing, sales and distribution of Ejector Pants on a global basis.
Ejector Pants are fully automatic! There are no annoying, cumbersome wires, not even a hand-held remote control to fuss with. Sophisticated sensors in the crotch area (similar to those used in “rain-sense” car windshields with automatic wipers) detect subtle changes in pressure and moisture in your trousers, triggering a patented mechanism that automatically thrusts your blossoming love muscle out into the fresh air, ready for action!
The deluxe model of Ejector Pants comes equipped with a spotlight and a set of speakers that automatically play a fanfare similar to the familiar one used at the commencement of 20th Century Fox films just as your penis makes its grand entry!
I anticipate that the Ejector Pants will sell extraordinarily well. They are certain to become an indispensable addition to the wardrobe of every serious strip club aficionado on the planet who believes the world revolves around the needs and whims of his Vienna sausage or kielbasa!
Replies (18)Latest
Fantastic Rev...waiting for the model without the spotlight!
What is the price point?
Aces!
@MackTruck -
Prices vary.
Do you want the model with or without the spotlight and the speaker system?
Colors please
@Twenty five
Available colors include:
Lemon Yellow
Viagra Blue
Pussy Peach
Pecker Purple
Is there an autoinflation mode available? I could really use that!
Just asking for a friend....😏
Congratulations! I'm sure your parents will be so proud of you for your patent!
BTW: I'm not a doctor, but if your "ejected" item is really purple-bluish-pink, you might want to get that looked at - or professionally photographed. :p
I don’t think our society is ready for it.
@MisterWonderful -
“I don’t think our society is ready for it.”
I think our society is more than ready.
The greatest number of pre-orders of Ejector Pants are coming from Catholic priests and Boy Scouts troop leaders.
Strip club mongers are a distant third.
^ well you know strip club mongers are not as fashion forward as those other groups you mentioned;)
If "The greatest number of pre-orders of Ejector Pants are coming from Catholic priests and Boy Scouts troop leaders" that should tell you something is wrong.
No self respecting PL wants to be associated with Catholic priests and Boy Scout troop leaders.
Does it come with after market attachments such as a 10x magnifying glass that can hover over the less than grand penis?
@Nidan111
“Does it come with after market attachments such as a 10z magnifying glass that can hover over the less than grand penis?”
The R&D department at Sublimation Ltd is working on it.
Be patient.
Reminds me of Phil. Phil goes to his lawyer to proudly show his invention "Here I have my invention - if applied over a pussy - it will give pussy an orange flavor." "Help me get it out to the market - and let's make some money!"
Lawyer looks at it. Looks some more. "So you got something that will make pussy taste like orange"
Sorry - no good. Can't help you. But call me when you come up with something that'll make an orange taste like pussy. And we both will make tons of money.
Call me when you invent the Universal Erector.
At least its an improvement over LDK pants.
SJG
@48CowBoy -
“What if you eat too many beans and get the walking farts while wearing these? Does the ejector still work properly?”
Abso-fuckin-lutely the Ejector Pants will still work properly. Ejector Pants were stringently tested in many settings including deep in the heart of “beanerd” territory (Mexico) where people routinely eat beans for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
The Ejector Pants continued to operate despite repeated colonic blasts. They even continued to work as intended despite being subjected to heavy doses of beanerd trouser chili!
This is some funny ass shit!
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