How Many Infidelities?
reverendhornibastard
Depraved Deacon of Degeneracy
When Mrs. Hornibastard #2 and I were divorcing, she asked me over dinner (it was an amicable divorce) how many women I had cheated on her with.
I replied as honestly as I could.
“I don’t know.”
My soon to be ex-wife was having none of that. She insisted on full disclosure.
“Come on! How many?” she insisted.
Again, I replied honestly. “I don’t know.”
She stared at me, trying to get me to open up about this.
I stared right back at her, trying to convey the sincerity of my initial response.
“Well think about it! How many?”
“I’ve thought about it. I really don’t know how many.”
“How can you not know how many?”
“I didn’t keep count.”
Her jaw dropped open.
“More than ten?”
“Yup! Definitely more than 10.”
“More than twenty?”
I gave no response.
“You’re serious? More than 50? Surely not more than 50!”
Again my only response was to look guilty.
“Oh my God! More than one hundred?”
I looked down at my feet.
Surprisingly, she wasn’t angry.
“Two hundred?”
“Maybe,” I said. “I don’t know but somewhere around two hundred is probably in the right ball park.”
( https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1798 )
“Why?”
“Because we spent the last 9 years of our marriage living half a world apart. I was living all alone in the Spice Islands ( https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=… ), the land of enchantment, the land of plenty.”
I wanted to add “I did the best I could with the time I had” but decided to just leave well enough alone.
( https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1520 )
( https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1514 )
( https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1515 )
I replied as honestly as I could.
“I don’t know.”
My soon to be ex-wife was having none of that. She insisted on full disclosure.
“Come on! How many?” she insisted.
Again, I replied honestly. “I don’t know.”
She stared at me, trying to get me to open up about this.
I stared right back at her, trying to convey the sincerity of my initial response.
“Well think about it! How many?”
“I’ve thought about it. I really don’t know how many.”
“How can you not know how many?”
“I didn’t keep count.”
Her jaw dropped open.
“More than ten?”
“Yup! Definitely more than 10.”
“More than twenty?”
I gave no response.
“You’re serious? More than 50? Surely not more than 50!”
Again my only response was to look guilty.
“Oh my God! More than one hundred?”
I looked down at my feet.
Surprisingly, she wasn’t angry.
“Two hundred?”
“Maybe,” I said. “I don’t know but somewhere around two hundred is probably in the right ball park.”
( https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1798 )
“Why?”
“Because we spent the last 9 years of our marriage living half a world apart. I was living all alone in the Spice Islands ( https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=… ), the land of enchantment, the land of plenty.”
I wanted to add “I did the best I could with the time I had” but decided to just leave well enough alone.
( https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1520 )
( https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1514 )
( https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1515 )
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8 comments
I post a lot of what I would call “semi-BS.”
My semi-BS is mostly found in my opinion posts which I purposefully exaggerate to the point of absurdity in an attempt to be humorous. Some of my opinions express views that I don’t really advocate or even find detestable. ( https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=… )
I have also posted pure BS stories and advertisements about bogus events and products.
( https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=… )
( https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=…)
Then there is some pure, unadulterated BS. ( https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=… )
The posts about personal experiences are all fundamentally true. They are based on actual experiences. I change the names to protect those involved but the stories are otherwise accurate.
( https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=… )
( https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=… )
( https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=… )
( https://www.tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=… )
I enjoy writing. It has been a hobby of mine since I was a kid.
I’m reminded of a story I was told about some guy named icee, it seems that this icee had just backhanded his bitch because she came home short of a few dollars, and the bitch being the princess she was after she got back up told icee I guess I deserved that, now honey go take a nap while I go out and earn the rest of your money, I wonder if icee ever took that nap.
After the divorce papers are legal, then the real or remembered number can be revealed.
That is good advice!
In our case, my soon to be ex-wife was unaware of any infidelities but assumed that they occurred.
When this conversation occurred, we had already been living apart for about 9 years. Our marriage had long since become little more than a technicality. We had separate lives emotionally and financially. We had already agreed the property settlement.