When Mrs. Hornibastard #2 and I were divorcing, she asked me over dinner (it was an amicable divorce) how many women I had cheated on her with.
I replied as honestly as I could.
“I don’t know.”
My soon to be ex-wife was having none of that. She insisted on full disclosure.
“Come on! How many?” she insisted.
Again, I replied honestly. “I don’t know.”
She stared at me, trying to get me to open up about this.
I stared right back at her, trying to convey the sincerity of my initial response.
“Well think about it! How many?”
“I’ve thought about it. I really don’t know how many.”
“How can you not know how many?”
“I didn’t keep count.”
Her jaw dropped open.
“More than ten?”
“Yup! Definitely more than 10.”
“More than twenty?”
I gave no response.
“You’re serious? More than 50? Surely not more than 50!”
Again my only response was to look guilty.
“Oh my God! More than one hundred?”
I looked down at my feet.
Surprisingly, she wasn’t angry.
“Two hundred?”
“Maybe,” I said. “I don’t know but somewhere around two hundred is probably in the right ball park.”
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“Why?”
“Because we spent the last 9 years of our marriage living half a world apart. I was living all alone in the Spice Islands ( tuscl.net ), the land of enchantment, the land of plenty.”
I wanted to add “I did the best I could with the time I had” but decided to just leave well enough alone.
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Not sure how much BS in your stories but damn fun to read. Lol