Posts by reverendhornibastard

PART TWO: How Mrs. Hornibastard Became Such a Flaming Exhibitionist ... continued from Part One: https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=71605 “Yes, I remember our wild days,” I said calmly as I wondered if she was going to propose that we resume taking walks…

PART ONE: Mrs. Hornibastard Poses the Question Women love to talk. The current (third) Mrs. Hornibastard is no exception. During a recent, post-canoodling cuddle she suddenly asked me, “What do you like to think about while we’re making love?” Naturally, I…

We spend a lot of time on this site comparing notes on our experiences with desploogination service professionals (“DSPs”). We rarely discuss our experiences with”civvies” (i.e. women who will happily desplooginate you for their own personal amusement just because they…

Both men and women have hormones to deal with. Unfortunately, the burdens of managing hormones fall unequally on the two genders. From the onset of puberty until old ripe age, men live under constant pressure to restrain their…

I’m getting old. This is nothing to be ashamed of. In a way, I’m proud of my age. It shows that I was smart enough to avoid snuffing out my life prematurely as a result of reckless, youthful excesses.…

Life and humor both involve timing. Comedians always say humor requires good timing. But in real life, I think humor requires bad timing ... the more atrocious, the better. When my stepson (now all grown up) was six years old…

Women are notoriously difficult to understand. The problem is only exacerbated when your woman doesn’t speak your language very well or, as in our case, barely speaks it at all. In the early days of our relationship, the…

Most of us spend a lot of time, energy and money trying to get sticky with the most beautiful women we can find. But are extraordinarily beautiful women actually better, more satisfying sex partners than only moderately attractive or than…

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I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but buying candy based on the wrapper is one that I have avoided. Yes, I’ve had canoodled and even had brief relationships with lots of drop dead gorgeous women, and all…

1. When you first enter it’s so dark inside the club you can barely see your hand in front of your face much less your boner; 2. The floor is sticky and the whole place reeks of stale beer and splooge; 3.…

I have plenty of experience navigating the dangerous rip currents, eddies and whirlpools found in the turbulent waters of strip clubs. I know how to spot danger and have learned to stay away from it. The most dangerous strippers are…