High Maintenance versus Low Maintenance Women

There are innumerable ways to categorize women. Some women are gorgeous. Some are not. Some are intelligent and some are as dumb as a box of rocks. There are thin ones, fat ones, pleasant ones, surly ones. Some are horny all the time and some only get horny on leap year day (between 6:30 and 6:45 PM). But the most crucial categorical divide of all is the one that separates high maintenance women from low maintenance women.

A high maintenance woman (“HMW”) believes she is God’ greatest gift to men and, therefore, inherently deserves your respect respect and constant adulation. HMW are easy to spot. They routinely wear expensive, designer fashions (https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1661 ) with appropriately matching jewelry, shoes and purses (https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1662 ). Most of them zip around town in a recent model Mercedes Benz or BMW, ignoring stop signs and traffic lights in route to high dollar nail salons that pamper them with valet parking and complimentary champagne while they get manicures, pedicures and foot massages. The typical HMW has no idea where the kitchen is and thinks preparing herself a mixed drink constitutes “cooking.”

By contrast, a low maintenance woman (“LMW”) is usually found wearing comfortable clothes and sensible shoes. She is frequently found at soccer practice with her kids, cleaning the house or shopping for groceries. A LMW knows how to cook and diligently ensures that her family gets balanced, nutritious meals. It is important to a LMW that her husband arrives home from work he finds a clean home, happy, healthy children and a nice meal waiting for him.

Many people mistakenly believe that all HMW are gorgeous and that all LMW are at least dull and plain or even ferociously ugly. While there is a correlation here (HMW do tend to be more attractive - https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1668 and LMW do tend to have a more “utilitarian” look - https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1667 ), there are exceptions.

Regrettably, most of the beautiful women in the USA are HMW. Native born American women who are gorgeous and LMW are few and far between. Most of the beautiful LMW you find in America are imports. In developing and third world countries sexy, gorgeous LMW are far more plentiful than they are in the USA. In most of Africa and parts of Latin America and Southeast Asia, beautiful LMW are a dime a dozen (https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1665 - https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1664 ). In some Southeast Asian countries LMW are even available in convenient bonus packs (https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1666 ). Unlike American born HMW with whom you usually have to make an appointment if you want to get juicy with them, imported LMW extremely grateful to be living with you in the land of plenty and will gladly desplooginate you anytime, anywhere even after they’ve spent the afternoon mowing the lawn or washing and waxing your car (https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1669 ).

HMW tend to gather in herds and run through elite shopping malls engaging in competitive conspicuous consumption with other HMW. LMW by contrast tend to cruise the local Walmart alone searching for blue light specials or discounted ziplock bags.

Most HMW fail to realize that their status as HMW is ephemeral. Aged, washed-up former HMW can be spotted driving around town in their dented, high mileage 1998 Toyota Corollas rust buckets, gripping the steering wheel with their chipped fingernail polished hands wondering what the hell happened to their former HMW lifestyles.

If you are a well-adjusted, sensible adult, you probably have a low maintenance mama to thank for that.