discussion comment
12 years ago
C'mon hut-dude. Beavis and Butt-Head is fine cinema. 'Twas from the great Cornholio that I learned the joy of saying "Titicaca". I even named my firstborn "Bungholio". He needs TP for his bunghole you know.
10 years from now they will be running loops of Beavis and Butt-Head at MOMA. 20 years from now MOMA will have a special Juice wing. "Étude de stank pussy". Don't hold the arts back my friend. The arts are what make men civilized.
discussion comment
12 years ago
I think you should only play jam songs like "Freebird"' "Tied to the whipping post" and, of course, "Dark Star". Screw your revenue model and try something different. Nude, stoned hippy chicks twirling about to a 20 minute bass solo. Don't get better than that!
discussion comment
12 years ago
Txtittydude, the thing to realize 'bout Alucard...your basic essence o' Alucardness if you will...is that the dude is friggin' hilarious. Not just hilarious...he IS HIGH-LAR-EEE-OUS!!!
We care about da Drac-man 'cos he gives us da LARFS. I mean the dude has a super-duper secret decoder ring enemies list. He is like Dick Nixon without any power. I can see him issuing an executive order..."People shouldn't get free memberships to TUSCL unless they write a 20 page dissertation on every detail of a club, accompanied with 27 8x10 color glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining it"
Dude likes us talkin' 'bout him. Dat be why he does what he does. I still sort of hope he is some sort of 21 year old trickster laughing it up in his dorm room over a bong o' some amnesia lemon playin' the part of a middle aged pervoid who tsk tsks other folks for drinking and drugging 'cos they should just be whoring. Smoke a bowl fer yer buds at TUSCL Drac-dude!
discussion comment
12 years ago
The Juiceman (pbuh) cannot retire! He has to go out in some sort of blaze o' glory. Then his apostles will go forth and spread rhe message of juice-ness, changing the world forever. Imagine a world of the Juice's disciples...ev'rybody at da club, leapin' on stage to rock out wit' their cock out. All while eatin' KFC. I plan to light bottle rockets with my free hand. Doesn't get cooler than nekkid hawt chicks, the Colonel's XXXtra KRIS-pay, and firecrackers! Juice on my brothahs, juice on indeed...
discussion comment
12 years ago
Drac-man. Mellow on the revenge stuff. Relax. Forgive. Don't channel Dick Nixon. His name says it all -- he WAS a dick. Don't be a dick! Peace out my brother!
GSB-dude. Dick move if you intentionally shorted her. Go back and say that think you made a mistake and offer an extra bit of cash. All will be forgiven my brother. Atone - it is good for your karma.
In all things, ask thyself "WWJD?" There are so many wise J's. Of course we have our very own Juiceman -- what WOULD Juice do? I dunno, but it involves fried food and something going up a stripper's ass. But also Jerry Garcia. What would Unca Jerry do? I always thought it involved getting high and eating a hot dog. Journey to thy inner J my friends. Find thy inner J my brothers.
discussion comment
12 years ago
This post makes me think of ass smoothies. You pervoids should google "ass smoothie" and check out the web site for that shizzle. Pretty fucking coo-EL!!!
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12 years ago
Da J-man (pbuh) be BACK!!! Fo-shizzle dat drinkin' YOO-HOO off a skank's pussy be a sacrament in da church o' da Juiceman (pbuh)
discussion comment
12 years ago
TxTittyfag-dude... Don't be a hater my man, not good for the soul! You should purify thyself...cut out the red meat, have a time in the sweatlodge, maybe drink some psilocybin 'shroom tea. Try jerkin' it to some good ol' '70s gay porn. I'm open minded -- if dudes float your boat you should follow your bliss. But FOLLOW YOUR BLISS dude...relax and let the gospel o' the Juice (pbuh) come into your life!
Peace out!
discussion comment
12 years ago
^^^
No no no Doc_dude... Don't be encouraging the postin' o' random boobie pics.
duomaxbabe, to be polite to all us pervs on TUSCL just post a groovey self shot sans clothing. But holding a sign saying something cool like "duomaxwell loves them TUSCL pervos --- DATE". If you want to use some crazy spelling or orthography that would be cool as well, but the big thing is BOOBS & NAME!!!
Otherwise, we think you're just a dude trolling the sad pervos who pay big money for BBBJCIMNQNSQWERTYUIOP. BTW, how much do you charge for BBBJCIMNQNSQWERTYUIOP ITC?
discussion comment
12 years ago
Have you tried playing x-box with the boyfriend after you finish OTC? Maybe you would feel better about the whole boyfriend thing if you got some quality stripper BF time.
discussion comment
12 years ago
I think ol' Drac-a-roo is actually 19 years old and a bubble boy. All this moralizing is just a put on. He would like to go out and have fun at "da club" but due to the problems with his immune system he cannot. So he does crazy shizzle like tellin' folks that the shouldn't drink, smoke weed, or play ping-pong (I'm sure dat ping-pong shizzle be immoral in Drac-world) 'cos yo' GOTTA spend all yo' money on whoring.
I feel yo' pain Drac. It is a hard life wherever you go. For entertaining us here on Tuscl maybe we could take up a collection to hire a stripper for you. She can get all naked outside of your bubble. Maybe press her titties up against the side. Trust me, you'll dig it!
discussion comment
12 years ago
How 'bout if Lindsey and Miley were workin' at the club? Does that make it a"strip clubby" question?
Can't believe Drac-dude wouldn't dig Lindsey in her redhead days given the avatar. I'd do Lindsey if limited to those choices. But I'd be hoping Lily Cole works at the same fantasy strip club...
discussion comment
12 years ago
Earl my man...you should start a new religion. The sacrament could be showing your tits to the pastor. Of course, you only want hot girls in your flock.
As a young man I always wanted to tour the country in a psychedelic bus as a preacher. My religion wasn't fully thought out, but I know my way of worshipping the great maker would somehow involve patchouli oil, peyote, and sex with hot hippy chicks. Maybe taking peyote and then fucking multiple hippy chicks on a patchouli-smelling psychedelic bus. And my path across the country would mirror the Dead.
What might have been...
discussion comment
12 years ago
Juice my friend...ya know I'm your biggest fan...but tell the truth. Was it just 'cos you were clubbin' or was it 'cos you were bein' da KA-ray-Z-AZZ J-man. Not e'rybody loves da J-man like we do here!
Fuck dat...you should get special Juiceman dispensation. Do whatevah crazy shizzle you want. If you want to show up and pay the hot secretary $1K to take her top off and let you motorboat her while jackin' it...whatevah! Hell, you wanna come in and rock out wit' yo' cock out and get a hooker visit you for sex on yo' desk! They should give you a fucking promotion for that!!!!
discussion comment
12 years ago
Iceland is a beautiful country. If you go to enjoy the unique environment you'll have a good time. But even before the strip club ban the clubs weren't particularly great. Beautiful girls (mostly E. European) but expensive and low mileage. Can't even remember how much I spent (didn't help that the dollar was weak compared to the krone at the time -- almost 10 years ago).
But the whale watching is cool, puffins are cute (also on the menu, didn't have the heart to eat puffin though), and geology is fascinating. Geyser is just spectacular. Water spouting every few min. and these incredible clear blue pools that are apparently over 95 degrees. Reykjavik is incredibly clean and I think there is basically no crime. Hot water is apparently free to all due to the geothermal activity (at least that is what I was told). Only downside is that showers smell like sulfur.
So go if you want a beautiful place to hike etc. and take a break from clubbing. If you want hot clubbing...not so much
discussion comment
12 years ago
If I was a legislator I'd propose a law ENCOURAGING women to go topless. As long as they are hot. Uggos can keep their shirts ON!
discussion comment
12 years ago
I think it was some kind of big titted angelic manifestation you saw initially, then the real girl... So no mystery other than the normal supernatural happenings at da club. I read all 'bout them in da gospel o' juice.
All I can say is that if I was god, am MY angels would have big tits. And like it up the ass. And they would all be strippers. But no SS. How cool would that be?
discussion comment
12 years ago
I dunno...Jenna Jameson never really did it for me. Perhaps Sasha Grey. I think a flick with the Freddy Kruger dude and Sasha would be pretty cool and twisted. That woman did some mighty twisted shizzle when she was a pornstar. I think she could have made Rick James blush...
Or better yet, fuck the zombie shit. Let's just get Sasha back to being penetrated in er'y hole simultaneously on film. Pretty hardcore stuff...
discussion comment
12 years ago
Did you check the poem? Got to love the part about "pagentry an majesty and hot sexy spread eagleness of it all". I think he plagiarized that from Shelly...
Seriously though, that dude puts the "P" in "PL". So, own up...which one of you pervos wrote it?
discussion comment
12 years ago
Bit of a non sequitur gawkerman that is. Only interested in adult sentient beings, Yoda is when he strip clubs. Hmmmmmmm.
Only adult female sentients that is. Nothing wrong with alternative orientations there is. Very tolerant and progressive Yoda is. Hmmmmmmm. Forgive you Yoda does.
discussion comment
12 years ago
Testify brotha Juice...testify!!
The simple things in life are sometimes the best. No need to face fuck a hot 19 year old with a cucumber up her ass while lighting bottle rockets in the club. That shizzle be cool but it also cost many Benjamins. I like the new understated Juice...keep it too the basics o' BBBJCIH.
But please tell me you were also eatin' KFC while gettin' said HJ!
discussion comment
12 years ago
It would have been cooler if had all been in Yoda-speak... "Went to strip club we did, yes? Many dances in lap were purchased...."
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12 years ago
Dude, you should put a cucumber up her ass. She won't complain that you're a dead fish if you do that!
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12 years ago
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motorheadFat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life
So...what if I'm willing to pay $55 for the HJ? Can anybody help me find that club? Shit...I might even pay $59.95!!!
discussion comment
12 years ago
Do da Lipstixx my brotha...you get some serious BBBJCIMNQNSQWERTYUIOP in there. Dat place be OFF DA HA-HOOK!!!
Seriously though...don't do the stixx. Place is disturbing. I'd recommend Mons if you want to do the Tampa thing. Only been back to Jax once since DH closed -- not that DH was necessarily the best couples place. Perhaps Wacko's or Gold Club.
My advice...do the trek to Tampa. Get a nice hotel. Enjoy Mons. Maybe make a weekend of it.