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12 years ago
Ermita and Jack...all I can say is pretty fuckin' funny! This is the shit I was hoping for...some super-groovy LARFS, as it were, and you did not disappoint!
JayJay...but I skeptical of the physical reality of an imaginary WTH ratio. Perhaps if we added some more dimensions...
And I'll add a c'mon to my correspondent...please don't be shy...please join in and educate us all with your extraordinary knowledge of mathematical physics and its application to strip clubs. I digs the erudite conversation.
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12 years ago
@drac-bro: I believe in G-string theory. I hypothesize that a hot 19 year old wearing only a G-sting will turn me on. I haven't devised a rigorous proof as yet, but it has proven to be the case whenever I've tested the theory.
Corollary -- things get even better when the G-string comes off!
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12 years ago
Art, coll for bring up a interesting topic. There is actually a nice Wikipedia entry on the topic:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faster-than-light_neutrino_anomaly
Alas, cool as supra luminal neutrinos would be, the universal speed limit still appears to be c. And physicists who announce otherwise have to resign because the did plug in a cable properly. Hopefully the dude is getting head right now from a chick that is making biased measurements of his dick. I can see it now:
Stripper: "don't worry, if you factor in the Lorentz contraction that dick is huge!"
Physicist: "nice!" (Knowing it is bullshit)
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12 years ago
And David-dude, bless your bot heart, send some o' those British escorts my way. I want to get all high and assfuck 'em while I shove a cucumber up their pussy. How 'bout that shizzle?
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12 years ago
Fuck yeah Jack. We all have our ways of paying for the club (or fantasizing about it, as the case may be). I don't need investment advice.
I come here for the KA-ray-ZEE stories 'bout jumpin' on stage, droppin' trou, and face fuckin' a hot 19 year old stripper while eatin' KFC. Okay, I don't actually do that, and I suspect none of my TUSCL bros do it either, but it is still fun to think about it. Plus, I think some of the real shizzle that goes on is equally crazy (even if it is occasionally tinged with quiet desperation).
So let you inner nutjobs out my brothers. Chug a bottle o' DXM cough syrup -- hell, chug 3 of 'em -- then go to the club and do some shamanic clubbing. Rent out half your house to a heroin addicted stripper who gives you rimjobs for rent. TEll us 'bout that shizzle 'cos it *cannot* end badly!!!
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12 years ago
Player-dude...$100 is a pretty...ahem...bargain basement...ahem...whore.
Hope you are using protection, lest you catch herpes simplex IX. Part will start fallin' off of you if you contract that shizzle.
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12 years ago
To be fair Muslims can play football...but I'm with you shadow. I'd be for any country that is pro nude women. Hell, if asked to choose nude women vs football (Am football or soccer) I'm going with the nude women.
Fuck, I'd love America *more* if they encouraged all the hotties to do a year of stripping. Kind of like peace corps for hot chicks. Fuck yeah!
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12 years ago
Well, you never know when there will be a run on the produce dept of all grocery stores to get cucumbers to put up strippers' assholes.
Here is what you do...invest in groceries...post 'bout DPing strippers with a cucumber on all the boards us pervos read...wait for the run on produce...then sell just as the stock prices crest. Fuck yeah!
Or you could go into the MDMA business. Whatever...
Juice on with those investments bro...Juice on!
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12 years ago
Juice my bro, I have to say that Rick has a point. Don't sell out my brother...lead us to our salvation by moving to a van down by the river and synthesizing MDMA for raves. And spend your time face fuckin' the hottest rave chicks!!!! Fuck, you should DP them wit' lil' Juice and a KFC drumstick! We can ALL get behind that shizzle -- even Drac-bro I suspect!
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12 years ago
You just get them thinking peaceful thoughts Juice...like "I'd rather face fuck a hot 19 year old stripper than get involved in a 2AMer". Peace our! Juice 3:16
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12 years ago
If you wait long enough an ultra-HAWT stripper will spontaneously appear with her mouth on your dick. Why don't you try that and let us know how it works for you. Boltzmann stripper!!!
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12 years ago
Just don't get caught at Club Onyx at 2am my brother!
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12 years ago
My brothahs... Juice don't know no stinkin' Messiah. He is tryin' live like da Messiah o' da club. Juice 3:16!
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12 years ago
I kind of like the continued use of "pro tip", but feel it should be restricted to things that only work if you are actually a pro. For example:
Pro tip: you will have more fun if you jump onstage, drop trousers, and get a BBBJCIM.
You *need* to be a pro to accomplish that shizzle!
From now own, I'm going to use "pro tip" a lot. Makes you look like a pro, you know.
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12 years ago
I'd do Tampa if I were you (and had good access to wheels). It has been a little while since I drove from Orlando to Tampa, but my recollection is that is an easy drive.
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12 years ago
Ol' tennisbum's Cyrillic dopoopugstoper wins this round in my humble opinion...
Juice my brother...don't be ignoring yosef...bad for the soul my friend.
gatorfan my man, don't you be doin' that shizzle either. You need to find us more photos of sexy gator girls suckin' away...and post for all to see. The world needs more UF themed porn you know!!!!
I for one have nobody on ignore...no enemies. I do have folks I find pretty amusing tho!
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12 years ago
They should start a strip club that plays only jam bands. Think about the length of the lapper you could get when the extended live version of "Freebird" comes on.
And classical...that could have advantages for some works. Count me on on Wagner day. Doesn't get cooler than hot chicks stripping to the ring cycle!
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12 years ago
Interesting complement to TUSCL, but this place is much more useful...
Plus, we've got the crazy -- or should I say KA-ray-ZEE -- on our discussion board. What with Juice (pls start that new religion dude...it would be KOO-el and ensure your financial future) and the Drac-man and his super-secret decoder ring Dick Nixon enemies list. That shizzle gives me da LARFS!!!
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12 years ago
Juice my brother...start a new religion. Hard to make this work but if it does you'll be rolling in it! You've already written Juice 3:16 -- just keep going from there!
I can see Juice on the TV once Pat Robertson retires, "God has told me that a woman is being cured of the cancer...and she is growing better titties...perfect titties...in Jesus' name if you like titties donate as much as you can...$700 if you want to me a member of the 700 club...where cancer-free chicks have great titties!!!"
It could work....
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12 years ago
Crazy joe. Don't be mean. The REAL way to get into the extras part of Tilted Kilt is just to grab the waitresses tit while reaching up her skirt. That says "I'm a rich stud" and the promptly escort you to the extras part of the restaurant where you can get all the hot action you want.
Try that and let us know how it goes for you.
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12 years ago
Pour bleach in my eyes!
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12 years ago
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Papi_ChuloMiami, FL (or the nearest big-booty club)
I don't know Doug-a-roo... I still harbor a sneaking suspicion that ol' Drac-man is a 19 year old living in the dorms at a good but not stellar liberal arts school.
A little over a decade ago -- after a particularly crazy strip club outing by a bunch of stoned sophomores -- a student signed up for TUSCL as Alucard. Every few years the Alucard account is passed on.
I'm sure there is a ceremony involving bong hits and riotous laughter as the previous Alucard says "...yeah, you are really into whoremongering...but nothing else. Criticize EVERYBODY who talks about drinking...puff...puff..." New Alucard then replies "...woah...what 'bout smoking [sotto voice]mothah natchah[end sotto voice] and whoring? That is cool, isn't it?" Then the correction from prior Alucard, "...dude...no! Think like you are your dad...he is uptight, isn't he? Imagine if your dad is into hookers..." New Alucard interrupts "...don't tell mum, but he kind of is...creepy old dude tried to pay my redhead girlfriend $250 to blow him...ruined Thanksgiving." And it goes on from there....
Or Drac-man could just be a kind of bitter and judgemental middle aged dude who is into whoremongering. Either way...
Cue the PM in 3...2...1...
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12 years ago
Hmm...if NorrisJordan isn't a bot I want some of whatever he is smokin', 'cos that must be one helluva trip he's on!