tuscl

Miley Cyrus vs Lindsay Lohan

Wednesday, February 20, 2013 10:24 PM
Who would you prefer to bang -- one night stand -- Miley Cyrus or Lindsay Lohan? Discuss. What does this have to do with strip clubs? Everything, my friends, everything. The answer to this simple question, posed by high school kids to their buddies everywhere, is a window into your fractured strip club soul. You see, I surmise that the guys who prefer Miley Cyrus are the ones who like the young spinners. They are the guys in clubs who are looking for the really thin, youngish girls that make up probably 20-40% of the dancer population (depending on the club, higher percentage at night). I suspect that they are people who have to don't listen to, and put up with less of, stripper drama/shit. They are a little bit colder with dancers and though they may do ITC/OTC, it is much more commercial. The guys who prefer Lindsay Lohan, on the other hand, like the 25 year old stripper that is a little more worldly, a little more experienced, and with a more curvy (but not fat) body. They are much more open to dealing with SS (I don't necessarily mean giving a girl $400 to get her car out of the city impound, but at least talking about it, and the ones who do give the $400 are, to a man, Lindsay lohan guys), and have to listen to a lot more of it. They are more likely to have ATFs that are more like a relationship, etc. I suspect that they are more likely to be older themselves. How do I know all this about you? Because I am SMART, and I KNOW what you are THINKING. (and bonus points to anyone who can name that (somewhat old) pop culture reference) Although I think that most people would agree that both girls are attractive (yeah beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but let's be serious not a single one of you would kick either of them out of bed for eating crackers) my prognostication is that probably 80% of you would go with Lindsay. So what do you think.

34 comments

  • jackslash
    •
    11 years ago
    Three-way!
  • Alucard
    •
    11 years ago
    Neither, as I don't find either one attractive. And the question has NOTHING to do with Strip Clubs.
  • crazyjoe
    •
    11 years ago
    Lets try some dumpster diving!
  • NMcBrain
    •
    11 years ago
    Au contraire my grumpy cohort. This question goes to the absolute core of strip clubs and our own examination of what we get out of this hobby. And don't pretend that you don't think about it. Shit, you spend untold hours over the course of the year perusing and participating on a website about strip clubs. Given that strip clubbing is a PL activity in and of itself, it would take a nuclear physicist to make the calculations necessary to measure the PL quotient involved with spending your time on websites that are ABOUT strip clubs. And this isn't criticism, as I am right there with you. And so as we all think about strip clubbing and what it means, this question is important. Extremely important. Holy crap I think I just creamed my pants thinking about how important it is. I need to take a 5 minute break. ... ok much better. So as I was saying, profound revelations on one's psyche can be gleaned from the answer to this question. Now given that you find NEITHER one attractive (seriously? Lindsay lohan is not the least bit attractive to you? that is frankly hard to believe), what does that say about you? I will leave it to the other members of this website to make their pithy contributions to that question. For my part, I am frightened. Now some of you may be saying that this is going way too complex, and that strip clubs are just about tits and ass and who cares about the rest. But you don't really mean that.
  • vincemichaels
    •
    11 years ago
    I'd do both.
  • pabloantonio
    •
    11 years ago
    McBrain, you are full of yourself. You can't be too smart when you think you are that smart. I choose neither. I pick Patricia Navidad. And I would wait all night for her. If Patricia isn't working, then I would settle for Kate Upton.
  • motorhead
    •
    11 years ago
    Your description of what type of guy would like Lindsay Lohan fits me perfectly. But wait, I would rather fuck a goat than fuck her. She is so disgustingly ugly I almost vomit when looking at her picture. So your generalizations don't fit everyone. Having said that, I'm no fan of Ms. Cyrus either. She was a cute 15 year old but noe that she has "grown up", cut her hair short, dyed it blonde, and lost her baby fat, I do not find her hillbilly trailer trash look the least bit attractive. If I HAD to choose it would be Miley, but I don't like young spinners all - so I say again you missed the mark, at least for me.
  • motorhead
    •
    11 years ago
    ...and yes, I would kick 'em out of bed
  • bang69
    •
    11 years ago
    I'd do both
  • DandyDan
    •
    11 years ago
    NMcBrain- I'd go with Adele before either of those and I think you would too.
  • Clubber
    •
    11 years ago
    Neither. I'd rather visit a club and spend my time there.
  • Dougster
    •
    11 years ago
    Lindsay is totally stripper material. No way she doesn't end up as one. Slight preference for her over Miley, although count me in the "I'd do both of them" camp.
  • zipman68
    •
    11 years ago
    How 'bout if Lindsey and Miley were workin' at the club? Does that make it a"strip clubby" question? Can't believe Drac-dude wouldn't dig Lindsey in her redhead days given the avatar. I'd do Lindsey if limited to those choices. But I'd be hoping Lily Cole works at the same fantasy strip club...
  • Ermita_Nights
    •
    11 years ago
    Five years ago I'd have said Lindsey, but she has really gone downhill. Her skin is going bad, the layer of fat that used to make her look voluptuous is starting to sag. She's not quite crack-whore ugly yet but she's definitely headed in that direction. Your reasoning is sound, and even today I think I'd have to choose Lindsey. But if both of them worked at my favorite club and were available for OTC, I would go with one of the other girls instead.
  • Corvus
    •
    11 years ago
    No reason to re-state Motorhead's answer. He said what I was going to write. And I also agree with Ermita nights on LL from a few years ago before she partied herself out of a useful life.
  • Playcity
    •
    11 years ago
    Miley Sirus. She aint a crack head yet
  • NMcBrain
    •
    11 years ago
    Alright fellaz, the "i'd do both" and "i'd do neither" answers are cheating a little bit. It is an EITHER / OR question. Of course you would pick your own idealized woman over anyone. But if you had to choose between them, which would it be? For those who say LL and MC are ugly, let's make sure we are all talking about the same girls. This is LL: [view link]. (I don't know how to paste pics or stuff like that -- you will have to just paste that URL in your browser.) This is MC: [view link]. These are relatively recent pictures. (The pixie cut will grow back.) Clubber/Motorhead: "OMG I want to puke in my mouth before screwing either of them." Me: "Seriously dood? I may not be quite as experienced in stripclubbing as some of you guys are, but i am pretty experienced, and i have got to tell you, both of these girls would be well above average in basically every club that i have ever been in. I am very confident that at least 19 out of every 20 guys will say that both are very do-able if they met them in clubs and didn't know who they were. But whateva. I can't be upset because Lemmy is one of the coolest people to have ever existed, and anyone who uses him for an avatar has got to have at least something going for him." But setting all of this aside, there is another reason I picked these two. Yeah, you could compare Kate Upton vs Julianne Hough, which I think is a comparison between classic victoria secret big boob girl vs girl next door beauty. But the problem is that both of those women are missing that certain "dirty" element that all strippers have. It is just impossible, in my view, to imagine them dancing in a club. LL and MC, on the other hand, definitely have that "dirty". Suspension of disbelief is no problem when imagining them in clubs. And so they are perfect for this question. Some celebs have that special "dirty", and others don't.
  • shadowcat
    •
    11 years ago
    OK. I love spinners. So I gotta go with MC.
  • Dougster
    •
    11 years ago
    Not good to believe every rumor you hear, of course, but word is that Lindsay already offer escort services to very high-rolling clients (i.e. even higher than the little RickyBoyDugan could afford). If true, I take it it's because drug habits ain't cheap to sustain!
  • Dougster
    •
    11 years ago
    This is a great topic! Miley seems a little "fake bad" to me. Doing it mostly for PR. Lindsay, OTOH, is the real bad deal.
  • HungryGiraffe
    •
    11 years ago
    LL, curvier body and potential freak in bed works for me.
  • tumblingdice
    •
    11 years ago
    Aluspasm! LL is a redhead.
  • Monte8
    •
    11 years ago
    I would vote for Miley. She seems like she would be more fun in an out of the sack. Lohan is a close second, but you never see her smile and her life is a train wreck. A nice smile is a always part of the attaction to me. Miley deffinatly has that going fo her.
  • jester214
    •
    11 years ago
    Lohan in her prime hands down. Cyrus is 'cute' on her best day and looks a little young for my taste.
  • sclvr5005
    •
    11 years ago
    I'd watch them do each other while I watch and wank off. Don't really want to actually touch either one of them.
  • ButterMan
    •
    11 years ago
    That's easy. Miley.
  • sharkhunter
    •
    11 years ago
    Mc looks better in the pics posted but I would rather choose some other hot dancers I've seen recently rather than either of the choices. If I hadn't seen them before I would rate Lohan a 6.5 or 7 and mc maybe an 8, Although I have seen much better pics of Lohan in the past. The pic posted looked awful for her IMO. If I was drinking, then you can raise their looks up Half a point. Neither even comes close to looking like a ten to me.
  • sharkhunter
    •
    11 years ago
    I just remembered several years ago I had a weird dream where I was partying in some clubs with both these girls and a third girl. Maybe these two plus a third made the news when they were out partying a couple of years ago.
  • JacksonEsskay
    •
    11 years ago
    If I had do one of them . . . Miley. But really, I'd rather not wind up on YouTube or the cover of the National Enquirer.
  • NMcBrain
    •
    11 years ago
    well there you go, boys. I was a little off in my forecast of 80%/20% Lindsay vs Miley. Actually it looks more like 50%/50%. Different strokes for different folks. And not sure that one's preference in the lindsay vs miley test is a perfect indicator of a particular psychological profile, but i bet there is still some correlation. and i have come up with a great new one. will share later. thanks for participating.
  • crazyjoe
    •
    11 years ago
    Smart ass
  • crazyjoe
    •
    11 years ago
    Dunb ass
  • 10inches
    •
    11 years ago
    Miley -- figure less chance of getting a STD from her. seems to only screw her boyfriend whereas, LL is spreading her legs for anyone with money or drugs
  • likes2look
    •
    11 years ago
    I sadly admit having carried a torch for LL for years. Even though her life has gone off the rails I would pick her. Of course either one could eat crackers in my bed!
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