Miley Cyrus vs Lindsay Lohan
NMcBrain
Ohio
Who would you prefer to bang -- one night stand -- Miley Cyrus or Lindsay Lohan? Discuss.
What does this have to do with strip clubs? Everything, my friends, everything. The answer to this simple question, posed by high school kids to their buddies everywhere, is a window into your fractured strip club soul.
You see, I surmise that the guys who prefer Miley Cyrus are the ones who like the young spinners. They are the guys in clubs who are looking for the really thin, youngish girls that make up probably 20-40% of the dancer population (depending on the club, higher percentage at night). I suspect that they are people who have to don't listen to, and put up with less of, stripper drama/shit. They are a little bit colder with dancers and though they may do ITC/OTC, it is much more commercial.
The guys who prefer Lindsay Lohan, on the other hand, like the 25 year old stripper that is a little more worldly, a little more experienced, and with a more curvy (but not fat) body. They are much more open to dealing with SS (I don't necessarily mean giving a girl $400 to get her car out of the city impound, but at least talking about it, and the ones who do give the $400 are, to a man, Lindsay lohan guys), and have to listen to a lot more of it. They are more likely to have ATFs that are more like a relationship, etc. I suspect that they are more likely to be older themselves.
How do I know all this about you? Because I am SMART, and I KNOW what you are THINKING. (and bonus points to anyone who can name that (somewhat old) pop culture reference)
Although I think that most people would agree that both girls are attractive (yeah beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but let's be serious not a single one of you would kick either of them out of bed for eating crackers) my prognostication is that probably 80% of you would go with Lindsay.
So what do you think.
What does this have to do with strip clubs? Everything, my friends, everything. The answer to this simple question, posed by high school kids to their buddies everywhere, is a window into your fractured strip club soul.
You see, I surmise that the guys who prefer Miley Cyrus are the ones who like the young spinners. They are the guys in clubs who are looking for the really thin, youngish girls that make up probably 20-40% of the dancer population (depending on the club, higher percentage at night). I suspect that they are people who have to don't listen to, and put up with less of, stripper drama/shit. They are a little bit colder with dancers and though they may do ITC/OTC, it is much more commercial.
The guys who prefer Lindsay Lohan, on the other hand, like the 25 year old stripper that is a little more worldly, a little more experienced, and with a more curvy (but not fat) body. They are much more open to dealing with SS (I don't necessarily mean giving a girl $400 to get her car out of the city impound, but at least talking about it, and the ones who do give the $400 are, to a man, Lindsay lohan guys), and have to listen to a lot more of it. They are more likely to have ATFs that are more like a relationship, etc. I suspect that they are more likely to be older themselves.
How do I know all this about you? Because I am SMART, and I KNOW what you are THINKING. (and bonus points to anyone who can name that (somewhat old) pop culture reference)
Although I think that most people would agree that both girls are attractive (yeah beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but let's be serious not a single one of you would kick either of them out of bed for eating crackers) my prognostication is that probably 80% of you would go with Lindsay.
So what do you think.
34 comments
And so as we all think about strip clubbing and what it means, this question is important. Extremely important. Holy crap I think I just creamed my pants thinking about how important it is. I need to take a 5 minute break.
... ok much better. So as I was saying, profound revelations on one's psyche can be gleaned from the answer to this question. Now given that you find NEITHER one attractive (seriously? Lindsay lohan is not the least bit attractive to you? that is frankly hard to believe), what does that say about you? I will leave it to the other members of this website to make their pithy contributions to that question. For my part, I am frightened.
Now some of you may be saying that this is going way too complex, and that strip clubs are just about tits and ass and who cares about the rest. But you don't really mean that.
I choose neither.
I pick Patricia Navidad. And I would wait all night for her. If Patricia isn't working, then I would settle for Kate Upton.
Having said that, I'm no fan of Ms. Cyrus either. She was a cute 15 year old but noe that she has "grown up", cut her hair short, dyed it blonde, and lost her baby fat, I do not find her hillbilly trailer trash look the least bit attractive.
If I HAD to choose it would be Miley, but I don't like young spinners all - so I say again you missed the mark, at least for me.
I'd go with Adele before either of those and I think you would too.
Can't believe Drac-dude wouldn't dig Lindsey in her redhead days given the avatar. I'd do Lindsey if limited to those choices. But I'd be hoping Lily Cole works at the same fantasy strip club...
Your reasoning is sound, and even today I think I'd have to choose Lindsey. But if both of them worked at my favorite club and were available for OTC, I would go with one of the other girls instead.
For those who say LL and MC are ugly, let's make sure we are all talking about the same girls. This is LL: http://yeeeah.com/lindsay-lohan-was-hosp…. (I don't know how to paste pics or stuff like that -- you will have to just paste that URL in your browser.) This is MC: http://www.cherryplucker.com/2011/07/26/…. These are relatively recent pictures. (The pixie cut will grow back.)
Clubber/Motorhead: "OMG I want to puke in my mouth before screwing either of them."
Me: "Seriously dood? I may not be quite as experienced in stripclubbing as some of you guys are, but i am pretty experienced, and i have got to tell you, both of these girls would be well above average in basically every club that i have ever been in. I am very confident that at least 19 out of every 20 guys will say that both are very do-able if they met them in clubs and didn't know who they were. But whateva. I can't be upset because Lemmy is one of the coolest people to have ever existed, and anyone who uses him for an avatar has got to have at least something going for him."
But setting all of this aside, there is another reason I picked these two. Yeah, you could compare Kate Upton vs Julianne Hough, which I think is a comparison between classic victoria secret big boob girl vs girl next door beauty. But the problem is that both of those women are missing that certain "dirty" element that all strippers have. It is just impossible, in my view, to imagine them dancing in a club. LL and MC, on the other hand, definitely have that "dirty". Suspension of disbelief is no problem when imagining them in clubs. And so they are perfect for this question. Some celebs have that special "dirty", and others don't.
Lohan is a close second, but you never see her smile and her life is a train wreck.
A nice smile is a always part of the attaction to me. Miley deffinatly has that going fo her.
and i have come up with a great new one. will share later.
thanks for participating.
Of course either one could eat crackers in my bed!