Comments by chitownlawyer (page 12)

Jamie Lee Curtis. To me, she has always been sex personified since the first "Halloween". I know that her face has gotten a little rough lately, but those tits are amazing...and even with that rugged face, she has an expression that just says, "Fuck me now...hard." Anyway, that's why God made doggie style. Also...Rachel Ward. I got wood in 1985 watching her in "Against All Odds", and it took three years for the swelling to go down. As with Jamie Lee, the face has taken some hits over the years, but the tits go on and on. By the way, Chandler, I don't think you have to get over the "impregnated by Cruise" factor with Nicole...my understanding is that both of their children were adopted, and that neither Tom nor Nicole have "issue of their body." At least that's what it said in Dr. Chitown's latest issue of People (or was it "Us Weekly"?)

Last year I went to Bare Elegance, near LAX. It is on the high end in terms of cost, but every dancer I saw there was model quality. Mileage is on the average to high-average side (lots of fondling, one-way with all dancers, some dancers limited customer contact, and extras seemed unlikely), and I found a great variance among dancers in terms of the degree of contact that each would allow. I stayed at the Airport Sheraton, and it was a $20 cab ride a driver who got lost, and a $12 ride back with a better-informed cabbie. I was surprised when they called "last call" at 1:00 am--1:30 a.m. closing time.

Yes, and when the Zen Master asked the hot dog vendor for his change, the hot dog vendor said: "Change must come from within."

Driver, you handled the situation exactly right. This topic has been discussed on this board several times over the last couple years, and the consensus objection to Mercy Dances seems to be that they distort the market...ideally, dancers who sell a lot of dances get the signal from the market that they should continue to dance (provide a greater supply of a product for which there is demonstrated demand), and dancers who don't sell many dances will get the market signal that they should quit dancing (pull a product from the market for which there isn't much demand..or, to be more gracious, to use their doubtless plentiful talents in an occupation that will appreciate them more fully). A dancer who gets "mercy dances" is getting the wrong signal. In your case, by just giving the girl the money, apart from any dance, you did not communicate to her any message that her dances are desirable. It was a gift (as we would say in a personal context) or charity (as we would say in a social context), pure and simple. Hopefully the dancer understood it that way.

A colleague tried a case about ten years ago involving a one car accident--girlfriend/passenger sued boyfriend/driver. Boyfriend's defense was contributory negligence of the plaintiff--that she materially contributed to the accident, as she was blowing him at the time of the accident. Jury verdict for the defendant. The defense was helped immeasurably when the trial judge permitted testimony as to the name of the movie they were going to see at the time of the accident: "Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down." Sort of painted a picture...

As I get older, I am less interested in the tease. (I suppose that explains my recent and forthcoming trips to TJ.) I agree with the member above who said that he if wants to ogle women, he'll go to a strip club, where he can ogle them when they are in a nude state. Last year, a new Hooters opened in a north suburban St. Louis town. However, before the restaurant opened, there was a huge hue and cry from the local citizens against issuing them the necessary liquor license, business permits, etc. By the size of the outcry, you would have thought that this was a Bunny Ranch bordello. My experience is that Hooters is suggestive and, at most, "naughty", sort of like Goldie Hawn dancing in her bikini on "Laugh-In". (I remember that from my very early childhood. In fact, I think I was in my crib when I watched it, if not in utero.) I didn't--and don't--understand the outrage that the prospective (and eventual) opening of the business generated. The food is mediocre. I'd go to Appleflea's or TGIF for better quality food at the same price points.

But...how was the pizza?

One of my early strip club experiences was at "Paradise" on Northwest Freeway in the Houston area. At its apex, in the mid 90s, it featured an upstairs balcony area where essentially everything went. They had beautiful latin ladies, some from Mexico and Guatemala. You could sit at the edge of the balcony and signal your preferred dancer to come "up top" after she got off stage. Very efficient, like ordering from Amazon.com but without the FedEx charge. Although the balcony area was open, with no private dance areas, I overcame a lot of shyness in that club. I had a case that took me to Houston about once a month during the mid-90s, and this club was always on my itinerary in the evenings. The first time I went, when I pulled into the parking lot and saw a guy getting blown in the car next to mine, I knew this was no ordinary club. In retrospect, I don't know why he was getting a blow job in his car. It was much more comfortable inside the club. Paradise started to go downhill around 1997 when they closed the balcony area. I believe that the club is now known as "Cover Girls", but I have not visited it in its current incarnation.

Any of the negative stereotypes about strippers..that they are drug addicts, come from broken homes, had bad relationships with their fathers, etc. If there is any discussion about their background or life outside the club, it has to be from the perspective that those things are as prosaic as that of any woman you would meet who works as a paralegal, hospital nurse, preschool teacher, etc. I once brought up to an old favorite the comedy routine that starts off, " They don't give grades for being a father, but if my baby ends up on the pole, I'll know I've f***ked up!" (African-American comedian whose name I don't recall right now) Although she wasn't mad at me, she made it clear that she did not see the humor in that line of jokes.

Sorry, Shadow, I pick none of the above. Not one of them has as much class as someone like Jennifer Love Hewitt, Salma Hayek, or Liz Hurley has in her little finger. If my only alternative to those three was j***ing off, I suppose I'd pick Brittany, only because I think the other two would be incredibly prissy, whereas I think that Brittany could get "down and dirty" under the right circumstance. (Re: Paris--I could live with a sufficiently hot girl making cell phone calls while getting scr***ed, but _making_ calls under those circumstances is just too much to stand.) But all three of these are wastes of carbon, as far as I am concerned.

In Sauget, Illinois , home of PT's Sports Bar and the Penthouse Club, there is no legal last call--as far as the Village is concerned, they can stay open 24/7. In fact, there are a couple of nearby "straight" nightclubs that never close. PT's has an announced closing time of 4:00 a.m. during the week, and 6:00 a.m. on weekends, although some dancers have told me that they will stay open if there are enough customers, and enough dancers willing to stay. Apparently the business model includes a certain minimum number of dancers, and apparently management does leave it up to the dancers. At my age, I have never personally witnessed last call at PT's, nor do I intend to. Perhaps twenty years ago, when I was in my mid 20s, I might have tested that concept. Now, after about midnight I really need a compelling reason to stay at the club, regardless of the day of the week. I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of strip clubs I have closed down over the years--Colorado Bar & Grill in Houston--3:00 a.m. closing (my first visit to a strip club in my life; I literally couldn't tear myself away. I knew then and there that my life had been changed, although I still don't know if it was for good or bad--or both); Brad's Brass Flamingo, Indy, twice--also 3:00 closing time. Once was only because a dancer wanted to come back to my hotel for fun, and I needed to lead her there after she got off of work. Bare Elegance, LA, 1:30 a.m. mid-week closing time--shocked the hell out of me that it was that early. I guess that, as a Midwesterner, I assumed that everything in LA would be wide open, like Vegas. It's just as well...those dancers apparently needed, and got, their beauty sleep. That club stands out as having, dancer-for-dancer, the most attractive girls of any club I have been to. Paradise, Houston (now closed)--3:00 a.m. closing time. I found myself in an upstairs VIP area that was essentially a whorehouse, and couldn't tear myself away from the Latina honey who had latched onto me. Twelve years later, I still remember the brown silver dollars.

Let's not go overboard, here, Bones--I would think that a sign saying: "No drugs--Just boobs and butts" would be sufficient. Note that our hero did not get into any trouble for prostitution--although that club is said to be pretty much a whorehouse (I hear--I truthfully have never been there, although I have driven past there to get to Dollies' Playhouse, about six blocks away) I have always maintained that drugs, not sex, is what gets clubs in trouble with the law, although the recent experience of Platinum Plus--Memphis shows that this rule is not absolute. About six years ago, a club in Brooklyn, IL (E. St. Louis area) was nailed because of sex..the proprietor was convicted of failure to report income for purposes of the federal income tax..that is, the income he derived from prostitution (if it worked for Al Capone, it could, and did, work for Everett Baker and the "Soft Touch Adult Spa.") The hilarious thing was that the US Attorney's Office subpoened the trial testimony of several local county prosecutors, and their office's investigator, who had been hosted at that club by a local criminal defense attorney for free-wheeling, no-hold's-barred "perversion excursions" at Christmas time. At least one marriage broke up over that incident.

I have a very good memory, so I remember them all...it's nothing personal about the dancer, just one of my little idiocyncracies.

Only ballroom and polka at weddings, social halls, etc. I've always been too self-conscious for "modern" or "freestyle" dance, but if there are rules to say whether I'm doing it "right", I'm ok with that. BG, I find that knowing how to do traditional dances gets you lots of women at gatherings where those dances are done. For some reason I find this is esp. true at social gatherings that have an "ethnic" flair, like weddings in Eastern European communities, or parties at ethnic halls. In my area, there are still a lot of ethnic neighborhoods, social clubs, etc., that have hung over from industrial times. The last three weddings I have been to had receptions that could have come straight out of "The Deer Hunter." It certainly has never hurt me with women in those settings that, although I am German, I can "dance Polish" ("Lithuanian, Croatian, etc..."). In my younger, single days, it even got me laid several times. On the other hand, when I was a young lawyer, my ability to dance got me stuck dancing with a lot of old partners' old wives.

When I was a young lawyer practicing in a major midwestern city, there was a hard-charging, ballbusting female lawyer in my firm who did nothing but work 49 weeks a year. She had no life outside of practicing law. However, for three weeks ago, she would go to Rio de Janeiro and get all her ya-yas for the year, courtesy of young studs who roamed the beaches, and were available for rent. She would have annual hook-ups with those that particularly met with her favor. So, add Argentina to the list, along with Ghana.

By the way, the current theory among evolutionary biologists (who sometimes sounds as though they're making stuff up as they going along) for pubic hair is that it protects the flesh on the nether regions from the rigors of heavy physical contact during sex.

By the way, I've never been bothered by hairy armpits. On the right girl, they actually bring back happy memories of my late childhood and teen years during the 1970s. I want the legs to be smooth, just because I don't want them to be prickly when they wrapped around my legs or expanding middle.

Yes, you are an old fogey. So, at 44, am I. I get the impression that there is a line of demarcation for people born somewhere around 1970. Those born before are furry; those born later are bald. Mrs. Chitown, a physician, told me once that she was shocked how much of a universal practice shaving is among her patients from the mid-30s and under. Christy Canyon, who is about my age, made pornos with the most bodacious bush that her Italian-Armenian genes could work up, and nobody gave it a second thought during the 1980s. God knows I spent a lot of time finding my way through the bushes of Jewish girls after SDT and DPE dances at Major Big Ten University in the early and mid 80s. Like a lot of social trends, I think that shaving started with gay men, then women picked it up, and now even straight guys shave, or at least trim. I've had a couple of OTC girls ask me, somewhat incredulously on seeing Little Chitown in his natural habitat, if I never shave. (I don't, nor do I intend to). Three weeks ago, in a hotel room above the Adelita Bar in Tijuana, a 19 year old fully shaven chica gave me a lecture on the health benefits of being shaven--although my 43 year old physician wife has never adopted the practice, paradoxically.

I once had a dancer, famous to some denizens of this board for her headstands, tell me that she was awaiting results of a test for cervical cancer. However, she did not say anything about this relating to the money I should give her (we were walking out of VIP, and all financial transactions had been completed by this time). I think that she was just bringing it up as a matter of discussion. Those dancers who think that they can or should squeeze more money out of the trade by appealing to their pity should heed the immortal words of Adam Smith (and one of my favorite quotes): "It is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer or the baker that we expect our dinner, but from their regard to their own interest. We address ourselves, not to their necessity, but to their self-love, and never talk to them of our necessity, but of their advantage." I find it ironic that strippers, who can be some of the hardest capitalists, expect that any transaction involving them and a customer would be based on a compassion rather than, as one of my favorites says, "What you can do for the guy's dick."

On the occasions that I have done OTC, I have told the stripper, "No junk", nothing stronger than legally available adult beverages. I don't indulge myself, and don't want to be the subject of a drug bust. I don't think that LE gets very excited about the random commercial hotel hookup between two adults, but drugs really attract their interest.

If this level of urination is typical for you, even without the alcohol comsumption, you need to get to your internist to be tested for diabetes, especially if you have experienced recent weight loss.

I'm far too nervous to use a credit card in a strip club. God only knows what charges are going to be on the card, over and above what you _thought_ you were paying for. I'd be even more nervous if my wife took care of the bills, but fortunately I don't have to bear that cross. I'll throw in with the majority on the main motion... the key concept is disclosure. As long as everyone was honest about the crappy goods they were peddling, and at such high prices, then it isn't a scam...just bad business, and a remarkably candid invitation to come and be taken.

evilcyn, you expressed my thoughts in a much more concise way. I would like to ask this wife: How attentive are you to your husband? Do you still treat him like a lover, or just like a checking account? Do ever do anything with him that doesn't also involve the children...or has the relationahip that the two of you once had become subordinated entirely into parenting. Married men who go to strip clubs are generally looking for something that they aren't getting at home (maybe with good reason, however). Rather than blaming the stripper for her childrens' depleted college funds, she might be well-advised to look into a mirror. End of sermon.

I've posted on this topic before, from a different angle. I wondered if it wasn't humiliating to the dancer...I guess I was importing my "WASP"-y ethos that matters concerning money are best handled discreetly. I asked some dancers about it, and to my surprise, found that most of them liked it, if only because of the amount of money involved (even if it's just $20, it's better than the usual $1-5 stage tip.) One dancer said that she liked it because it called attention to her as a valuable commodity, and usually got more men up to the stage (on the theory that other men want what one man wants). Two dancers did not like it--because they did not like dancing for young black men, and the dancers associated the "money shower" practice with that demographic.

A favorite, although obviously dated from the Nicarguan contra days of my early twenties in the mid-80s, is that I'm the U.S. Marine Captain whose squadron has secured the Central American village from the communists, and she's the insurgent leader whose interrogation session with me gets a little off-topic. I hadn't thought of that one in years until my recent Tijuana trip. But as a young lawyer I had a half-Peruvian girlfriend who found it entertaining.