Comments by chitownlawyer (page 13)

Book Guy: Hell, give me your FedEx account number, and I'll send the damn thing to you now. But you must promise me that, if you ever get to Adelita's, you'll use it to fuck "Lisette."

That's, "to make sure the first time wasn't a fluke."

Indeed, I know that now. I found out on Wednesday night. I wasn't sure about it the first time, so I had to go upstairs again, to make sure that the second time wasn't a fluke. There is a stage at Adelita, and some limited dancing. But to call that club (and, I suppose, any of the other less-inviting ones along the Avenide Revolucion) a strip club would be like saying that a major league ballpark is a hot-dog stand.

A hint, BG, from that old protest song: "If I had a hammer...." You know, regardless of any weight you may give to the content of either of them, the greatest works in the English language are the works of Shakespeare and the King James (Authorized) Bible.

No, you're on the right track with a religious holiday, but the holiday is a little more significant to its adherents than St. P's day.

Yeah, I think that "last kiss" between men might be involved in a holiday that is coming up in a couple of weeks.

Chandler, haven't you ever heard of a "last farewell"?

I would not be able to give an absolute number. However, there is a "folklore" about stripper cases among personal injury lawyers here in the East St. Louis area. One thing is clear...they don't tell the IRS what they are making. Typically, when a stripper misses time from work due to an accident, and wants to be compensated for it, they will claim to have been making $60-80K a year. However, when the insurance company lawyers (such as your reporter) request their income tax records, it is usually revealed that they are either not filing income tax returns, or are telling the IRS that they are clearing 15-20K a year dancing. Not that they are all that different from other self-employed people. My brethren arent' exactly paragons of candor in such matters, either.

Yes, I have had it happen to me. If the dancer is someone I find desirable, and the sell is done is a sexy,seductive way, I like it. If the dancer is someone I find loud, brassy and obnoxious, and the sell is done with all the finesse of a hotdog dealer at Wrigley Field, I don't like it.

I have to confess to a bias against Eastern European girls. I suppose that I watched that old commercial from the 1980s too many times...."Swimwear....Evening Wear..." I would like to be the depilitory salesman to this crew. I can't believe the number of moustaches and unibrows that you can see have been removed from these girls. Despite all of the above, with a couple of exceptions (they managed to find some brunettes so homely that even I think they are ugly... THAT is an accomplishment!), I would welcome any of them in my bed My #1 is Zuzanna, contrary to Chandler's opinion. "The last shall be first, and the first last." Other promising picks: Ania Ekatterina Elen (looks like a Kate Moss who eats) Ellen (lovely blue eyes) Irah Irisa (needs a brace on her upper jaw, though) jamina (looks dirty. I'm thinking anal on the first date. Maybe in the driveway before you leave) katernya Lilu (quite an ass, but who knows about the face?) maria (I think those are natural. I can't believe they'd be able to get such good implants in the former Eastern bloc.) Polyna (biggest tits of the bunch, and I'm assuming they are natural)

If Dr. Chitown ever were to ask for an alibi, I suppose I could tell her that I had gone out for a cup of coffee....

DougS, as you know, I am also big into hair, and a dancer who used to be a regular member of the "A" team was a stickler for not touching her hair...which was tough, because she had very long, fine, dark hair. Well, a couple of months ago, I found out why the hair was off limits...I saw her leaving the club dressed in her "dyke" clothes...she is a lesbian, and her lovely long dark hair is actually a wig. Her real hair is basically a buzz cut. So, she kept me away from the hair so that I would not accidentally "de-position" her wig. Very disappointing. I am also a nuzzler and kisser, esp. around the neck and shoulders. None of the dancers I frequent have any problem with this, although perhaps the ones who mind it stay away from me. A couple of them intentionally move around their bodies and hair so that I will kiss the back of their necks...although I don't know if they are doing that because I like it (which I do), or because they like it (in "real life", I have found one of the things that women respond to best is kissing them along the spine, from the hairline on down as far as you care to go. But generally the nape of the neck and the lumbar spine seem to generate the most favorable results.) I do make it a point that my stripper kisses are meticulously dry.

A very timely topic...it happened to me, for the first time, last week. I was forced to return to the club and pick up an alternate.

Well, I'd suppose we'd do well to start out with a census. How many of us are there (2, at this point) Which clubs do we frequent (PT's--Sauget, primarily. Dollie's during Steely Dan periods)

There is a natural dynamic that limits my time in strip clubs. After about two hours, one of two things will happen. EIther I will not see anyone I am interested in getting close to, or I will. If the first, then I leave. If the second, then it is back to the private area. There, one of two things will happen...either I will achieve the desired objective, or I won't. If I don't achieve the desired objective, that is reason to leave. If I DO achieve the desired objective, then that is reason to leave. The point is, regardless of where you end up on the flow chart, after about three hours, I am gone.

My tolerance of total time in a strip club is about where Chandler's is. Much more than three hours, and I start to feel like I am living in a Steely Dan song (or, even worse, a Tom Waits song). I do like to visit with a dancer for about a half hour before I get a dance. To go straight to dances betrays the expeience for what it is. So let's each play "let's pretend" for a while...then she can get her money, and I can get my--umm, experience.

My tolerance of total time in a strip club is about where Chandler's is. Much more than three hours, and I start to feel like I am living in a Steely Dan song (or, even worse, a Tom Waits song). I do like to visit with a dancer for about a half hour before I get a dance. To go straight to dances betrays the expeience for what it is. So let's each play "let's pretend" for a while...then she can get her money, and I can get my--umm, experience.

Both of my OTC experiences have been at the request/suggestion of the dancer. I have also been approached twice by dancers whose offers I did not take up. Perhaps I am overly pussilanimous, but I am too afraid of the consequences of an unwanted proposition to bring it up myself.

I spend from $600 to $750. I usually spend about $150 a visit. $50 will pay cover, a cocktail or two, and some table dances, for which I pay $5 per. I then will spend $100 for a three song set with the favorite dancer that night. That's a good evening for me.

I've never known exactly how to take this, but my wife does not usually inquire about my absences, late arrivals, etc.. Maybe once out of five times she will ask a question or make a remark about it. Over the course of my career, I've worked a lot of unusual hours, and I think that she makes certain assumptions. On the other hand, maybe she has her suspicions, but doesn't see the need to make waves.

Chandler, yes I have. But the worst thing is when there is a DANCER rambling on and on about nothing (even if she is twenty years old, blonde, and with arguably the most perfect female body known to man. Not to name names....) One time I was in there and the guy nearest me was telling the dancer how he had known the owner for 20 years (a curious situation, as the club has changed ownership at least once during that period),and has too much respect for him to try for extras. (not that big a deal. I don't think there are a lot of extras in that club. I once got a real hand job in VIP, and that was far and away the most liberal treatment I have ever received.)

I can't imagine anything more disruptive. My talking is about at the level of Yoda's. I hate it when dancers talk during a dance, and I do not hesitate to terminate all dances at that point.

I have an OTC relationship with a dancer who is three hours away. We try to meet monthly, although from a practical point of view it usually is more like once every six to eight weeks. Every bad aspect of her being that far away is matched by a good aspect of her being that far away. (e.g., I won't run into her while with my wife at a shopping mall.) Sometimes, when I am about halfway through the drive to see her, a long trip across the prairie. I wonder if it worth it to drive so far. As soon as I see her, my doubts immediately start to fade. By the time she lays her hand on my dick, all doubts are gone.

For some dancers, January and early February, referred to as "tax season" are good times of the year. Apparently, some people who get tax refunds use some or all of that money for one or more "perversion excursions." Being in that group of taxpayers who have to make quarterly payments, that concept means nothing to me personally, but I guess most people get their w-2 forms from the middle of January to the end of the month (legal deadline for employers to distribute w-2s), and tax refunds come out anytime thereafter, especially if you are willing to pay the usurious rates that the major tax preparing firms pay for "instant refund" (which are actually loans secured by an assignment of your evetual refund.) In any event, some dancers have told me that "tax season" is their best time of the year. During the Fall of this year, I have had more dancers than ever bitch to me about business being down.

Book Guy, I am going to endorse everything that Chandler has said about the dancer who does the headstands (as well I ought to, since he introduced me to her). Like you, I am reluctant to have strange poon shoved in my face. Even within the context of a relationship, I try to work in a communal shower or bath before munching the groundhog for lunch. This particular dancer has never pulled aside her g-string to let me see the goods, although she has gotten her package pretty close to my face. I don't know if she is cleaner than usual, or I just get her early in the shift, but I have never noticed any smell. I also agree with Chandler that she is very gentle on the balls, both when she is upside-down, and when she is right side up. SHe is about 5'5 or 5'6, and probably 110-120 pounds. Although she is not my ATF, she is a delightful dancer, and perhaps could change your mind. Even if not, you could have a great time while having your prior opinions confirmed.