Shadowcat's latest post reminded me of something that happened to me in a strip club about 10 or so years ago, and I was wondering if anyone else has had this experience. A dancer, who I had met before and semi-liked, told me she had recently found out that she had a serious illness (I think she said leukemia) and was dying, that she was given 6 months to live. But she didn't really ask me for money or anything to help which is what I expected. I realize there's no way for any of us to know if that was a play for sympahty/money or she was really ill. But I was wondering, has anyone else ever experienced anything like this?
No. I have heard a lot of excuses for needing money. Rent due, car broke. etc but never about a serious illness. My former ATF had had about 6 surgeries before I met her and 3 more while we were seeing each other OTC and one more since then. These have all been confirmed by other dancers at the club. She never even hinted about needing money.
I once heard a dancer say she needed money to pay for her Prozac, which she wouldn't have been taking without a doctor's note, assuming it's true, which she tried to make it sound like, though I didn't believe it.
I've heard of about six or ten serious illnesses, major surgeries, life-threatening this, that, or the other. It's not good business sense. It might even be true, but in most other sales-oriented industries, the start of the game is to make the customer feel GOOD about the situation, not bad. Would you spend an extra $5,000.oo on a Camaro because the salesman was on kidney dialysis, or an extra $1,000.oo on a stereo because the electronics store recently lost its roof in a storm?
I once had a dancer, famous to some denizens of this board for her headstands, tell me that she was awaiting results of a test for cervical cancer. However, she did not say anything about this relating to the money I should give her (we were walking out of VIP, and all financial transactions had been completed by this time). I think that she was just bringing it up as a matter of discussion.
Those dancers who think that they can or should squeeze more money out of the trade by appealing to their pity should heed the immortal words of Adam Smith (and one of my favorite quotes):
"It is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer or the baker that we expect our dinner, but from their regard to their own interest. We address ourselves, not to their necessity, but to their self-love, and never talk to them of our necessity, but of their advantage."
I find it ironic that strippers, who can be some of the hardest capitalists, expect that any transaction involving them and a customer would be based on a compassion rather than, as one of my favorites says, "What you can do for the guy's dick."
I've never met a stripper who talked about anytyhing like that. If I did, I think it would make me less inclined, not more, to get dances with her. Serious disease is sad and make me feel sympathy. But frankly, it's a buzzkill no matter how you frame it, certainly not a turn on.
As I recall this was my third and last time with that particular girl so I have no idea what happened to her. She also claimed to be a nurse and was a seasoned pro which is not my normal type. I don't think I ever set foot in that club again, which had nothing to do with her. I'd have to know a dancer really really well for anything she said to have an impact on how much money I gave her.
i ran into a smoken dancer in Myrtle beach last year. Said she just contracted MS. At first I did not believe her, and still may not, but she didn't do one stage show all night. Just sat around ... :(
i'm a sucker and gave her $60 just for chatting.
Seems we often have similar experiences. I knew a dancer about 4-5 years ago. Took her to the local VIP room a few times. Always fun, except when we we're "visited" by management one time. Anyway, she told me she had been diagnosed with some type of cancer and was going home to NY for treatment. No request for money, as was your experience. That was the last time I saw her until recently. Now at that club, the bartender, I know well. She told me that she was really sick and went home. During the last 4 years, she had talked to the bartender and she relayed to me she had called. About a month ago, the dancer called me, but on the bartenders phone, and told me she is back and doing well. I visited her once, at the club, but haven't returned since. Not sure I wish to go back as it was, but then again, I might.
I feel sure her sickness was real, and not any kind of scam or attempted scam.
chitownlawyer mentioned meeting a dancer awaiting the results of a test for cervical cancer. I too have a meant a dancer that had a bout with cervical cancer. Not at all am I suggesting a correlation between their occupation and illness, but I do find it a rather odd coincidence that just among our small TUSCL community we have ran across two dancers with the same illness. Dancers are mostly likely to be in their 20's or early 30's -- and I discovered that half of all cervical cancers strike women between 35 and 55. Knowing two dancers is certainly not impossible, but just struck me as unusual.
I've heard a number of cons from dancers. If they didn't ask for money, they might have been telling the truth but sometimes it may be hard to tell if you hear lies all the time. I remember one time a dancer gave me some ridiculous excuse I thought. She told me one of her fellow dancers a friend of hers was short on some money she owed to her drug dealer. She said I could give her some money to give to her friend or not. It was up to me. If not she said her dealer would beat her up. I thought that was a ridiculous excuse to try to con money out of me. I've heard a lot better stories than that. I wasn't about to give anyone any money especially when it came to drug dealers. She would of had a slightly better chance at saying her sister was dying of cancer and asked for a small donation. Well not really. One attempted con was more than enough to avoid her.
David, somewhere I've read that some forms of STD (genital herpes?) increase the risk of cervical cancer. So if you believe that strippers tend to have more unprotected casual sex than other girls their age, than there could well be a correlation between stripping and cervical cancer.
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Those dancers who think that they can or should squeeze more money out of the trade by appealing to their pity should heed the immortal words of Adam Smith (and one of my favorite quotes):
"It is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer or the baker that we expect our dinner, but from their regard to their own interest. We address ourselves, not to their necessity, but to their self-love, and never talk to them of our necessity, but of their advantage."
I find it ironic that strippers, who can be some of the hardest capitalists, expect that any transaction involving them and a customer would be based on a compassion rather than, as one of my favorites says, "What you can do for the guy's dick."
i'm a sucker and gave her $60 just for chatting.
Seems we often have similar experiences. I knew a dancer about 4-5 years ago. Took her to the local VIP room a few times. Always fun, except when we we're "visited" by management one time. Anyway, she told me she had been diagnosed with some type of cancer and was going home to NY for treatment. No request for money, as was your experience. That was the last time I saw her until recently. Now at that club, the bartender, I know well. She told me that she was really sick and went home. During the last 4 years, she had talked to the bartender and she relayed to me she had called. About a month ago, the dancer called me, but on the bartenders phone, and told me she is back and doing well. I visited her once, at the club, but haven't returned since. Not sure I wish to go back as it was, but then again, I might.
I feel sure her sickness was real, and not any kind of scam or attempted scam.
I didn't remember what the dancer I mentioned above had, but now that you have mentioned "cervical cancer", I am sure that is the cancer she had.