Comments by lousybuck

i don't wanna sound bitter here...but a question like this answers another question: where does the term 'pathetic loser' come from?

wow. the term 'happy meal' has a whole new meaning. can i get a bbbj instead of the star wars toy?

A guy gets a job in an adult bookstore. The manager needs to go run a few errands on the guy's first day. He's there alone when a woman comes in and is shopping for a vibrator. "How much for this pink one?" she asks. The guy tells her $15. She buys it and leaves. She comes back in an hour and says, "It was too small. How much is that bigger white one?". He tells her it's also $15. She buys it and leaves. She comes back in an hour and says, "That was too small too. How much for the plaid one?" He tells her $50." She buys it and leaves. The manager comes back and asks the guy how he did. "Not bad. I sold 2 vibrators for $15 each and I got $50 for your thermos."

Girls: We gotta go straight home after we see you. Glitter and strong perfume suck. Also, turning my gonads into tapioca with your knee isn't a turn-on.

This is a hilarious topic. You have no control over any money you spend on anything once it leaves your wallet. As far as strippers go, did you actually buy that story about her tips going for her tuition to medical school?

dancers who smell like *anything* good or bad. bad is bad and even good has to be explained when i get home. also, dancers who wear glitter for the same reason. too pushy is a no. overpromising is a no. mechanical is a no. general negative vibes are a no. life is too short.

Two lawyers had been stranded on a deserted island for several months. The only other thing on the island was a tall coconut tree, which provided their food. And each day, one of the lawyers climbed to the top of the tree to see if he could see a rescue boat coming. One day, the lawyer yelled down from the tree, "Wow. I can't believe my eyes. There is a girl out there floating in our direction." The lawyer on the ground was most skeptical and said, "I think you're hallucinating and you should come down right now." So, the lawyer reluctantly climbed down the tree and told his friend that he had just actually seen a naked blonde woman floating face up... headed toward their island. The other lawyer started to laugh, thinking his friend had surely lost his mind. But within a few minutes, up to their beach floated a naked blonde woman, face up, and totally unconscious. The two lawyers went over to her and discovered, yes she was alive. One said to the other, "You know, we've been on this island for months now without a woman. It's been a long time. Do you think we should, you know , screw her?" The other lawyer glanced down at the totally naked woman and asked, "Out of what?"

Sorry for the redundancy here...but I hate car names. I find them to be an immediate turn off. At one club I frequent, there was a fake boobed, overly aggressive Mercedes. She was repugnant. While I was having a dance with one girl, she approached us and all but suggested I abandon the lap-in-progress and come with her. I declined and said to the dancer on my lap, "Hmm, her name is Mercedes but she's got more plastic than a Corvette." I think she singlehandedly ruined me on the car thing~

I normally hate the Halloween thing but many years ago, I was at Mitchell Brothers in sf on Halloween and one of the dancers was excited that she was 'selected' by some comedian (Sandra Bernhardt I think) to come on stage at her gig that night. She was so excited that she insisted on giving me a complimentary cbj to celebrate. No trick, all treat. In spite of that, I avoid Halloween because most of the costumes are turnoffs rather than turnons.

The day I understand too much about the corporate machinations of the grindage industry is the day I hang up my moneyclip and rely strictly on mental images of Starbucks baristas for showertime.

'I'm still recovering from my last dance right now' and give a little chuckle. The giggle and walk away. Works everytime.

Morris returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him that he has only 24 hours to live. Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, so they make love. About 6 hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, "Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?" Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again. Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left. He touches his wife's shoulder and asks, "Honey, please... just one more time before I die." She says, "Of course, Dear," and they make love for the third time. After this session, the wife rolls over and falls to sleep. Morris, however, worried about his impending, tosses and turns, until he's down to 4 more hours. He taps his wife, who rouses. "Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could..." At this point the wife sits up and says, "Listen Morris, I have to get up in the morning... you don't."

Anytime I leave the house, I'm hygenic and polite (unless I'm going to a Raider game~). When I get to a club, I pay young girls to rub their bodies on mine. High milage girls rub more, low milage girls, less. I might be able to change the dynamics 1% by studying and debating the rules but generally, they want cash and I want rubbing and the only 'game' in this is figuring which are HM and which are LM before my cash is pressed into the palm of said girl. That being said, it is fun to talk about strippers even though I don't think they are the most complex organisms on the planet. It's supply and demand: We supply cash and they demand more cash~

'i saw thousands who could have overcome the darkness. for the love of a lousy buck i watched them die' is a quote from a bob dylan song. i started out as fortheloveofalousybuck and shrewdly shortened it when i realized i could only have two beers and type it correctly.

i was makin' a joke with the raider thing. for the record, i hate the raiders but i do go to one game a year. go chargers~

the term 'lousy buck' has probably been used a few times. i got the name from bob. it's the NOSE i got from karl...

too many of you have seen her in her declining years but bambi love at MBOT 10-15 years ago was the absolute best. period. perfect body. perfect. and an attitude that was just intoxicating.

1982. A great German blonde at MBOT. She wore a cape that she threw over the two of us. At first I felt badly that I had used my ticket money to see Jerry Jeff Walker at the Great American Music Hall next door but I got over that as soon as she stroked the little buckaroo down south. Now, the time I blew off Jerry Garcia to go to Market Street Cinema, well, that was just stupid.

1) How often do you visit a club? About once a quarter. Used to be way more. 2) How long do you stay? Unless it's really terrible, as long as I can and have $. 3) How much do you spend? Average $200 4) How much do you spend on dances? (total, not per dance) ~ $150 5) How many dancers do you spend it on? 2 or 3, but pretty good at tipping all concerned 6) Are you a "regular"? No. I was once way too regular at MBOT. 7) Do you have a favorite dancer? Did in the old days. Not now. 8) Do you tip girls to sit with you? If they sit with me and I like them at all, I'll do at least a cheap LD rather than tip just for talking. 9) Do you buy them drinks? Never 10) Do you enjoy talking to the dancers? Yes. Sometimes it's cool. For the most part, it's at least entertaining. The next questions are for single guys only (unless you married guys want to fess up). 11) Do you ask for dates or OTC meetings? Never 12) Do you want to date strippers? (Assume the common societal definition of an ongoing monogamous relationship) no 13) Do you want to have sex with strippers? (assume no other complicating factors, just free sex) no 14) Would you lie to get sex with a stripper? no 15) Would you pay to have sex with a stripper? possible if there were no complicating factors as stated above. No 16) Would you date a stripper (definition above) to have sex with her? no 17) Have you ever had sex with a stripper? no 18) Was it free? 19) Did you seek it out or just get lucky? 20) Do you seek it out now? no 21) How many times have you had free sex with a stripper 2 gratis hjs many moons ago. Too freaked out by the spectre of bad science to do it anymore.

Facing me, counting her money and snapping gum while telling me about her bad childhood. Wait. What was the question?

Winding down from my peak but going a bit more now that i was a couple of years ago. All in all, I'm spending less but probably enjoying it more.

Back in the 'suit days' in Silicon Valley, I wore a suit to MBOT and got a surprise hj (didn't ask...but a dancer wanted to showcase her skills). The suit was a mess. For a while it looked like a free $2500 lapdance. That cured me of wearing expensive suits to clubs. I don't wear jeans though. I'll say that Armani got me more attention than Dockers. But in the end, they want the cash. The clothing is just an early indicator for the girls. I don't think they care as long as you're clean and you spend.

Jaimie Summers. She did those 'Brat' movies way back when. I saw her as a feature at NCT in SF one time. Sat on her lap and had a pic taken. She was physically perfect. Really perfect skin. I threw the pic in the garbage on my way out of the club because for some reason, having it made me feel extra pathetic. In her later films, she got very arty and they lost some of the edge. It might have been the beginning of Vivid.

My favorite poster is this one I had of Jimi Hendrix that was actually made up of tiny song lyrics but when you looked at it from about ten feet away, it just looked like a pencil drawing. After that: 1. Lesbians 2. Cowbell 3. Abbie for mentioning lesbians and cowbell in the same post. My lesbian cowbell fetish is satisfied for the evening.

That's the best snl skit in 15 years. I've got the fever baby and it can only be cured by more cowbell!