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I’ve been married three times (so far). I’ve always been the weak link in most of my relationships, marital or otherwise. Here is a brief rundown of the three Mrs. Hornibastards that have shared parts of my life so…
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Continued from PART FOUR: https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=75076 After nearly two years of enjoying his and her massages once or twice a week as a form of foreplay, it came time for Susan and me to relocate back to the USA.…
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Continued from PART THREE. https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=75052 A couple of weeks had gone by since Susan’s last massage when she called me at the office and said she was in the mood and asked whether I’d like to join her for…
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Continued from PART TWO: https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=75040 We moved to Indonesia during July 1992. We had only been in our new Indonesian home for a couple of months when I returned from a day at the office and unexpectedly found Susan having an…
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Continued from PART ONE: https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=75030 Upon returning from to the USA after my prolonged but delightful first business trip to Indonesia, my employer requested that I take a posting to Jakarta. Mrs. Hornibastard #2 (“Susan”) and I agreed to make this…
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In 1992 Mrs. Hornibastard #2 and I were both unwittingly introduced to the delightful world of Asian digital depravities. This is the epic tale of how we each learned to adapt to and enjoy life in place as wonderfully…
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I didn’t lose my virginity in a cave, but it was in a cave where I had my first make-out and steamy mutual grope session. https://tuscl.net/photo.php?id=7056 At first, my heart wasn’t really in it. I was trapped and tricked into this…
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Cheryl was a beauty of my distant past. I had not given her much thought since I posted the story of my “Golden Opportunity Missed.” https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=67549 But a couple of weeks ago I woke up from a dream in which I suddenly…
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https://tuscl.net/photo.php?id=7023 If the 1953 musical comedy “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes” proves anything, it proves that, despite my claims to the contrary,* I am NOT a gentleman. * https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=65746 I’m not saying I have never been attracted to blondes. I’ve certainly fallen for a…
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The news is full of stories about all the “bad boys” who won’t take “no” for an answer. But there are also women out there who won’t take “no” for an answer. Admittedly, the dynamics differ. It is rare for a woman…
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I consider it absurd that some advocate “asking permission” of a woman before you kiss her, fondle her or get sticky with her. The way some people approach this topic, I surprised no one has yet advocated first getting a…
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I’m Good at: 1. Structuring, drafting & negotiating complex, business transactions 2. Feigning sincerity 3. Talking women out of their panties 4. Hiding my considerable conceit with self-deprecatory humor 5. Downhill skiing 6. Eating pussy 7. Procrastination (there’s no time like tomorrow!) 8. Driving in snow & ice 9.…
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Yesterday we picked up our new sled. It’s a 2021 Mercedes GLE 350. It is an iridescent deep metallic green color. Depending on the sun angle and the sky conditions it can appear anywhere from almost black to a deep,…
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I built a couple of legal teams during my career. In both instances the legal teams I recruited and trained were for the national offices in a developing or third world country. Local laws and company policy required that the…
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There is no shortage of pure horse shit being tossed around these days. Political, religious and commercial panderers have all clearly decided that we are a bunch of morons who will believe just about anything they throw our way. …
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Just in case the Reverend Hornibastard household wasn’t weird enough already, now we have a recurrent BLS & LBS situation on our hands. Mrs. Hornibastard #3 is largely to blame for this. She is the nicest, most caring and friendly…
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Some people believe “progress” means, among other things, an increasing number of people of color who are lifted out of poverty and who can begin to enjoy their fair share of the American dream. Oddly, when poor people of color are…
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I recently told Mrs. Hornibastard about my experiences with our emotionally needy neighbor. Her reaction was unexpected. She was very sympathetic to Amanda’s plight and was critical of my dismissive attitude towards our unhappy neighbor. She didn’t seem to recognize…
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2020 has been a very odd year! Among the many “firsts” in my life that I’ve experienced in 2020, I can now add my peculiar sense of elation and relief over having a nosebleed. The fall season is upon us…
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First, let me make something clear. I didn’t have anything to do with the hardships the woman in this story has undergone. Moreover, I can’t help her. I’d like to, but even if I had the time…
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During a global pandemic, you have to get your kick wherever you can. Yesterday I went to the dentist for a checkup and some professional dental hygiene. By the standards of dental visits, this one was exceptional. It was a good thing…
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Women often complain that men have a one-track mind. They say all men ever think about is sex. There is some truth to this. Most guys (me included) can be pretty rapacious about sex. In fact, if…
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Last night I watched “Samsara” with Mrs. Hornibastard and our 11-year old twins. Samsara is a non-narrative cinematographic tour de force by Ron Fricke (who also directed “Koyaanisqatsi,” another non-narrative masterpiece). Samsara depicts a wide range of riveting images that…
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There are plenty of reasons to love TUSCL. Here are just a few of my reasons for enjoying my TUSCL membership. 1. It’s fucking wonderful to have a bunch of world-class degenerates who are always happy to “tell me where to go”…
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Mrs. Hornibastard received a phone call from Indonesia late yesterday that kept her on the phone jabbering incessantly for more than an hour in our formal, front living room. When she finally came out, her mood was quiet and somber.…
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