discussion comment
6 years ago
Why in the world wouldn't you catch up with your old ATF? Even if I'm not interested in dances anymore, I'd go catch up with her
discussion comment
6 years ago
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rickduganVerified and Certifiable Super-Reviewer
-->"I guess it's something like a strip club n-word."
YOu're on the right track. Maybe a little more like the word "queer", which was "taken back" by the gay community. Although in this case, not so much taken back but adopted the moment we heard it. I've related the etymology of PL on this forum several times -- I was there when it was created, on usenet as gmd correctly remembers.
discussion comment
6 years ago
Mostly just appointments with girls I'm just getting to know.
By the time she's reached ATF, chances are we text more socially each week. I've had a couple of ATFs where we text almost daily. It's a fun diversion from real life
discussion comment
6 years ago
The smart money is on "stringing you along and spending money on her, until you eventually wise up". The conservative play is to move on.
That said, I have stories like gawker's -- in fact, more than one -- where a girl who was hesitant, agreed to OTC after a few more visits. Usually this is in the case of newer dancers who may not have had much or any OTC experience before. But it happens.
So, just making up numbers, 75% she's stringing you along, 25% chance you can convince her with more trips (the newer she is, the better your chances are). Up to you to decide whether you want to spend your money on those odds or not. I often go for it, but give myself a strict limit of "X more visits, then OTC or out".
discussion comment
6 years ago
-->"If he has a separate phone for mongering - that would be better. It’s important to be safe - as Facebook definitely mines your interactions - and when his list of suggested friends becomes filled with strippers - that might cause an issue."
Exactly what I was saying. And if you're worried about anonymity, the reverse is true, too -- she'll eventually get a friend suggestion of his real facebook. Even if facebook doesn't have access to your contacts, I'm guessing that if you access both accounts from the same phone, it can tell those accounts are from the same IP address some of the time, and connect them. Just guessing; all I know is, these social media apps, and communication apps like WhatsApp, Voxer, Kik, seem to be incredibly aggressive at finding connections.
discussion comment
6 years ago
-->"her boyfriend had access to her account and was always checking her friend list."
I've had one stripper like that, ultra-controlling, ultra-jealous (and rightfully so, I was fucking his girl OTC) boyfriend, super toxic relationship. It's just as well you don't end up involved in whatever drama they have
discussion comment
6 years ago
Very interesting to follow up on strippers 10-20 years after I knew them. They seem to tend to marry or pair up with so-so looking blue collar workers, in most cases. Lots of divorces.
discussion comment
6 years ago
My FB, snapchat, instagram, are all strippers, SBs, FBSM girls, etc. So, no worries about anyone in my real life seeing them :)
It can be pretty fun, even incredibly fun, to be on a stripper's snapchat (and Instagram, and to a far lesser extent, facebook), and worth starting up your own stripper-only facebook account. With the caveat that facebook digs deep into your contacts to make connections -- there's a real chance that if you run the facebook app on your phone, it will figure out the connection between both your accounts and your stripper, which means your stripper might find your real account
discussion comment
6 years ago
Sadly, I bet this works on lots of guys
discussion comment
6 years ago
NFL games are usually good. At my local club, usually it's fairly empty, but even when there's a crowd of PLs, none of them are buying during the game. The girls basically give up and just sit with guys who buy them drinks for 3 hours; then, after the game, the real action starts. So, even if it's crowded, if you're buying dances, just wait until she heads up on stage, tell her to come by, and she'll be thrilled to leave whatever PL she's with for you. She'll be thrilled to be one of the few girls getting lap dances during the game; call her to make appointments to be her regular NFL game side thang, and she'll love you for being an actual paying customer on game days
discussion comment
6 years ago
-->"What is the difference between escorting and a "sugar" relationship other than the implied repeat business?"
Sugar relationships are all over the map, but for the vast majority of the women, one of the big differences is: an escort puts out an ad and fucks everyone who has the $ (and has references); the subsequent "relationship" is about an exchange of $ for sex for XYZ minutes. Most sugarbabies hand pick one (or sometimes a small number) of SDs; the subsequent "relationship" features an exchange of sex and money, but many SBs are also looking for fun experiences and many for at least a little emotional intimacy.
Pertinent to another topic in the thread: it may be the case that the super young, new sugarbabies don't think of themselves as sex workers; the experienced SBs absolutely know they are.
'course, as many guys on tuscl have shown, you can also use it like backpage, finding girls who'll meet, fuck, and move on. Plenty of fodder for someone who wants something more escort-like.
discussion comment
6 years ago
-->"Is Seeking Arrangements worth checking out anymore "
"worth checking out" is in the eye of the beholder. Still just as possible as before to find someone on "Seeking". Yes, it's Seeking now, casting itself as a legit dating site. Changes include: no more mention of monetary expectations (e.g., minimal,moderate, substantial), easier to get banned from the site for mentioning $, and in my area, I sense there's more escorts than ever (which isn't a problem if that's what you're looking for)
discussion comment
6 years ago
-->"but it "seems" to me many of the custies that wanna date a dancer are often RILs that genuinely wanna have a dating relationship with their fave and it "seems" to me many of them get taken advantage of and often fleeced by the dancer - seems to me the RILs are often looking for love but the dancer is often looking at it as a business opportunity"
I think that's true, too. Regular, non-PL non-RIL guys are not thinking "you know what I really want to do? date a stripper!" In fact, that's the opposite of what they're thinking. Practically by definition, the guys starting "I want to date a stripper" threads are just going down some delusional trail... it's why the discussion always feels so cringeworthy to me, between the lovesick RILs for whom this is the highest state of existence, to the guys regurgitating PUA "date a stripper" tactics.
Again, the exceptions prove the rule, and I realize some guys here might have not been looking for it, but found actual love in the club, and hey, that's great. But I'm guessing you guys weren't using PUA and pretend pimp tactics, or pining away for a stripper girlfriend.
discussion comment
6 years ago
FWB with stripper = awesome
Dating stripper = with all due respect for the very few people who have made it work, as a general rule, pretty retarded to even think about it
Everyone who has, seems to be on a "wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy" basis now. I never really progressed to full dating, but have had a few that were FWB -- but in two cases, we got incredibly close. I met all in the club, and had moved from stripper/customer to ATF/regular before we transitioned to FWB. Or, IOW, exactly the opposite of the PUA and pretend-pimp playbooks. Which makes sense -- even if the PUA "go in and throw money around but don't buy lap dances and pretend to be disinterested" actually worked, a stripper isn't going to be magically attracted to a 50-year-old through something like that.
discussion comment
6 years ago
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steeldog65I swear, it's just shrinkage due the cold
So far, 100% win. If you enjoyed it, keep at it, just with your radar always up.
discussion comment
6 years ago
Anyway, Pettis vs Ferguson was exciting while it lasted. Good stuff
discussion comment
6 years ago
I've always been rooting against McGregor, but Kabib is the first one who has made me root for him. From the incredibly sketchy backers, to the "I'm so religious and virtuous. Also, I think it's funny to make videos of me humiliating homeless people by having them do pushups for money", to his outrage that there was a rap concert in Dagestan, which subsequently led to threats against the rap group. Dislike McGregor but Kabib is worse
discussion comment
6 years ago
^^^ good point. It really sounds terrible -- and a little unbelievable. I have to think there are better than $30 dances with 6s somewhere. My #1 goal would not be picking among a number of unacceptable choices; I'd be looking to figure out what I'm missing as far as clubs, changing to a "go to the club just to quickly go OTC" model, or switching entirely to SA for my travels
discussion comment
6 years ago
If a real thug came on tuscl, he'd have to deal with some pretend pimps and hos that he is likely totally unprepared to deal with. Pretend pimps are streeter than street. And that's even before the LDKers have their way with him. Get off the internet and go back to selling rocks of crack, thug!
discussion comment
6 years ago
I often SC with my best buddy and a number of other friends and acquaintances (currently the size of the group is 4 guys, but sometimes there's more or less), so they obviously know. I don't mention it to anyone who doesn't participate
discussion comment
6 years ago
Tough one for me, because:
1. I don't do lap dances, VIP only
2. I don't do 6s, so anything with a 6 is out o fbounds
3. I'm sure as fuck not paying $40, or even $30, for a lapdance, so neither A nor B work, even if I did do lapdances
Faced with this Hobson's choice, I'd do neither, A, B, nor C, none interest me in the least. Luckily, it's completely contrived, at least to me -- never had to make anything like those choices, wouldn't be SCing if I did
discussion comment
6 years ago
I didn't wear my ring to the club. Just didn't seem to be any advantage to me to let them know I'm married. With my CF's, by the time we got to that point I'd already told them I was married -- I needed them to know I needed discretion (and frankly, I imagine every stripper knows that once a customer is asking for things like "don't text me outside business hours", she knows what's up anyway). I think I remember that towards the end of my marriage (although at the time, I didn't realize it was "towards the end", I just started saying "yes I'm married" right from the beginning, if it came up)
discussion comment
6 years ago
-->"that would be totally uncool if a dancer did that to me. I agree with the OP’s decision to do nothing."
Agree. And based on discussions elsewhere, where strippers participated (including the ever-reliable SW), that's what most of the girls prefer, too, although of course there are always exceptions. Consensus is even stronger on escort sites, particularly in escort-only part of the forum. There's just too many things you don't know, even if she seems to be alone for the moment, and the stakes might be high for her. Similarly, back when I was married, and even today when I'm on a vanilla date -- I want the stripper to not acknowledge me at all, no looking in my direction and winking, nothing.
discussion comment
6 years ago
She's cute. What could limit her from becoming my ATF is that ass. In some pics, it looks super flat. In some, it looks like it has a little projection. But when the pics disagree, it's usually because the ones with projection, she was arching her back or otherwise sticking it out a bit. Otherwise, only way for her ass not to be flat is to put something under it and push up
discussion comment
6 years ago
I don't pay anyone to sit with me .... technically. But it's all a matter of perspective. My CF knows that after we've sat for a while (with me buying drinks and lunch), there will be a VIP, and then we'll sit and drink more, and then another VIP, lather, rinse, repeat. She doesn't think she's sitting for free, she thinks she's sitting to get the VIP. Sometimes, when it's a new girl and she's been hanging out with me for a bit, if I sense she's getting nervous, I'll let her know, "hey, another drink and we'll do a VIP" ... again, from her perspective, she's not really sitting for free, she's sitting to get the VIP at the end