How many pl on here have actually dated a stripper? Met her in the club hit it off and actually starting seeing each other no p4p real dating? If so how did it turn out? It happened to me and it all started with a front room makeout session! Any advice
To successfully date a stripper is not to meet her in the club. Have full trust. Most on here will never be successful because most of you see women as objects and are guilty of assault.
And yeah I am married to one.
So I hear all the stories and sly attempt you all make.
I agree with Marlee. If you meet her in a club it is hard to think of her as anything but a stripper who you are dating. If you meet her outside the club it is more likely you would think of her as a hot lady you are dating that happens to be a stripper.
I agree with Marlee. If you meet her in a club it is hard to think of her as anything but a stripper who you are dating. If you meet her outside the club it is more likely you would think of her as a hot lady you are dating that happens to be a stripper.
I met my boyfriend at work. He was my “sugar daddy” for a couple of weeks, and then stopped paying. But I’d continue to hang out with him for a couple more weeks after that.
Then his work sent him elsewhere. We both assumed we would stop talking to each other. But then we didn’t, and ended up seriously dating.
_______
“Most on here will never be successful because most of you see women as objects and are guilty of assault.”
I despise entitled men who take advantage of strippers more than anyone here, most likely. I say this because I want to be understood where I’m coming from when I say this:
Strip clubs are a fantasy land.
It’s the hardened PLs on here that are more likely to back off and respect a dancer’s limits. I’ve met some extras hounds on from this site (who may or may not post on the discussion board as well ) and I have actually had an easier time with my admittedly small TUSCL sample than one would initially believe.
At the risk of sounding deluded, a lot of customer bad behavior really can be salvaged. I view *most* of the the bad behavior is from “baby PL” who eventually come around to learning the “etiquette.”
I have no doubts they are confused because they hear contradictory things. Nobody wants to be taken advantage of, but also the vast majority don’t want to be true assholes either.
I may not like the behavior, but I can’t fault them personally either because I know my biggest fuck ups in the past (both in the favor of the customer, or the exact opposite) was simple not knowing how to act in the moment.
FWB with stripper = awesome
Dating stripper = with all due respect for the very few people who have made it work, as a general rule, pretty retarded to even think about it
Everyone who has, seems to be on a "wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy" basis now. I never really progressed to full dating, but have had a few that were FWB -- but in two cases, we got incredibly close. I met all in the club, and had moved from stripper/customer to ATF/regular before we transitioned to FWB. Or, IOW, exactly the opposite of the PUA and pretend-pimp playbooks. Which makes sense -- even if the PUA "go in and throw money around but don't buy lap dances and pretend to be disinterested" actually worked, a stripper isn't going to be magically attracted to a 50-year-old through something like that.
^ I agree with you very often this is no exception, there is never an excuse for bad behavior, baby PLs is just an excuse, treat people the way you want to be treated, that always works for me, my statement above was cautionary not intended to be judgemental,
It’s difficult at best to have a GF that shares the goods with others for a fee, is all I was saying.
I used to date free girl, a stripper 30 years my junior with significant daddy issues. Usually we had dinner then went back to a hotel or my place to fuck. No money ever hanged hands, and I only paid for her dinner. It lasted a few months. The filing ended after a few months, mostly because of her husband.
My advice is have fun while it lasts but plan for it to end and don’t fall in love.
First time I met the girl in the club. The entire time, no matter what, I always had the feeling she was in it just to see what she could get out of me. That may not have been the case, but considering where we met and what she was doing at the time, I just could never shake the feeling. This could simply have been my insecurities, but that was how I felt.
Second time. We met after she stopped stripping and we ended up getting married. She actually went back to stripping for a while, but eventually gave it up to be a stay at home mom.
My advice, I agree about meeting her in the club. If you do and the relationship progresses, you better be sure you're secure in your emotions and confident in your ability to trust her. Also, unless you do enjoy sharing your partner, I would advise against going to see her dance because that will do nothing but build on any jealousy you might have when she is dancing all over other guys.
@nicespice wrote: "I view *most* of the the bad behavior is from “baby PL” who eventually come around to learning the “etiquette.” I have no doubts they are confused because they hear contradictory things. Nobody wants to be taken advantage of. I know my biggest fuck ups in the past was simple not knowing how to act in the moment."
^^^I suspect that is a lot of it. @Nicespice, thanks for writing that. Wounded pride can hurt a guy. Makes sense. You can read the undertone of the guys being hurt and swear-never-happen-again. Or just being confused or feeling taken advantage of and wanting to regain control.
For me the daily stripper drama was what made it miserable in the end. There has always been some sort of drama with each girl I have been lucky enough to do this with. Issues a normal function human being would never even have to deal with if they had at least some minor responsibility in their system.
I've been dating a dancer for a couple months; I've written about it. It's not for everybody, that's for sure! But if you are a long time club regular and read a lot of TUSCL, at least you know if you're being played.
At best I think it's a toss-up as to who is using who and who feels entitled and who has non-genuine ulterior motives.
It is my PL gut feeling that PLs get used more and usually come out with the short end of the stick when getting involved with a dancer - sure there are many custies that treat a stripper like a piece of furniture to be used, but it "seems" to me many of the custies that wanna date a dancer are often RILs that genuinely wanna have a dating relationship with their fave and it "seems" to me many of them get taken advantage of and often fleeced by the dancer - seems to me the RILs are often looking for love but the dancer is often looking at it as a business opportunity - of course I may see it like this bc my POV/reference-point is one of a custy - buy I feel often times the dancer has the upper-hand by the mere-fact she's in the club multiple days per week week-in week-out and thus will usually know the game/hustle much better than the avg custy.
-->"but it "seems" to me many of the custies that wanna date a dancer are often RILs that genuinely wanna have a dating relationship with their fave and it "seems" to me many of them get taken advantage of and often fleeced by the dancer - seems to me the RILs are often looking for love but the dancer is often looking at it as a business opportunity"
I think that's true, too. Regular, non-PL non-RIL guys are not thinking "you know what I really want to do? date a stripper!" In fact, that's the opposite of what they're thinking. Practically by definition, the guys starting "I want to date a stripper" threads are just going down some delusional trail... it's why the discussion always feels so cringeworthy to me, between the lovesick RILs for whom this is the highest state of existence, to the guys regurgitating PUA "date a stripper" tactics.
Again, the exceptions prove the rule, and I realize some guys here might have not been looking for it, but found actual love in the club, and hey, that's great. But I'm guessing you guys weren't using PUA and pretend pimp tactics, or pining away for a stripper girlfriend.
If a dancer meets you first as a custy then it seems that is likely the way she'll always see you; and whether consciously or subconsciously she will always connect you with $$$ and IMO that would likely be the overriding connection from her POV, whether it's her wanting your financial support on a regular basis or when the inevitable emergencie$ come up.
As I've posted in the past, if the PL can't normally get the equivalent civilian in terms of hotness, why all of a sudden is a hot stripper in his grasps if it's not bc of the financial motivation.
Not to say it can't happen, but I'd PL-guesstimate that 95/100 times the dancer does not share the same feelings as the PL/RIL.
I'd say it's def doable for "some" guys - but I think dating a stripper can coarsely fall under "if you gotta ask then you-shouldn't/you're-not-ready" - unless you're ok with the drama and being taken advantage of that can likely occur
@subraman posted: "I think that's true, too. Regular, non-PL non-RIL guys are not thinking "you know what I really want to do? date a stripper!" In fact, that's the opposite of what they're thinking."
That's kind of what I always thought. Only on places like Tuscl do you see this fascination with dating a stripper because she's a stripper. Like she's some sort of prize to be won.
Me? After going to the club, I always thought, wow that was sexy and fun! I want to recreate more of that pleasure. Let me go find hot civilian to date or a 2-3 civilians to date. Then I'd hit the dating ground running.
It was more that the stripper provided motivation. Not the stripper (herself) was my motivation.
I've dated three. In all three occasions I met them somewhere else besides inside the club.
Once through SA.
If you look at my older comments I had a long term on again off again with a woman but she became a dancer after we met and broke up the first time.
There are challenges you will have that only come with dating a "sex worker" ( I use the term since Las Vegas uses it to classify what an exotic dancer/stripper is officially registered as before she can work in a club.)
Maybe because of meeting outside the club I didn't feel the way Subraman references it above. Truthfully I would have preferred they stopped dancing, and my one ex did multiple times.
Shailynn has it nailed as far as I am concerned......in the end the drama along with the lying ( even about shit nobody needs to lie about) is what made it not worth it.
A couple of them have contacted me or in one case stayed in contact with me although I don't see any of them at this point. It's odd, almost like I've become a wise old sage for advice. Not that they listen half the time. As far as I know all three of them are back outside of the life style again.
Strippers and clubs are fantasyland. Attractive women who exude sexuality act like they're into you. Every guy wants more of that, are you willing to accept that it may not be real? I've just gone out once with a girl who says she's quitting stripping. I have no illusions that it's a real relationship at this point and I don't expect it to truly become one it's more a matter of convenience for me as I travel and she happens to be in a city that I go to often. If it becomes more than casual dating I would be incredibly surprised
Strippers and clubs are fantasyland. Attractive women who exude sexuality act like they're into you. Every guy wants more of that, are you willing to accept that it may not be real? I've just gone out once with a girl who says she's quitting stripping. I have no illusions that it's a real relationship at this point and I don't expect it to truly become one it's more a matter of convenience for me as I travel and she happens to be in a city that I go to often. If it becomes more than casual dating I would be incredibly surprised
“I never have, but I knew 3 or 4 cops who did. Don't know why there's a cop-stripper connection, but there is in the Philly area. Any insight ?”
Pure guessing: Both groups work in stigmatized roles that society claims to hate, and yet many individuals will turn to them when the services are wanted. Both groups have a certain amount of corruption, and yet have to make judgement calls on what proper behavior is when they occur. Both groups tend to work irregular hours. Most people assume they are more intelligent by default than people who work either job.
That being said, I don’t personally know anyone who dates a cop in my area.
I’ve dated two guys I met at the club. One was a sugar daddy type boyfriend.. he gave me like 1k just for hanging out that night, brought me a new iPhone to our first date (we didn’t have sex until maybe the 5th date) and he paid for my boob job and lots of vacations. So he spoiled me but I genuinely liked him and was attracted to him. He never flat out paid me cash for anything except when I was recovering from the surgery and couldn’t work. We had some drama but mostly good times. He likes strip clubs but doesn’t go that often.
Other guy tipped me like $100 to hang out when we met, and did one dance. He didn’t pay or spoil me. He’s well off but far from rich. We dated for a few years. The relationship turned toxic when he became a regular strip club patron. I feel like those two things are related. There was constant drama often times involving the club. Never again wil I date a guy who is a regular club goer.
I tried it at two different points in life, about ten years apart. Now I'd consider a wing girl to club with, but in general my strip club forays are winding down. I've been on trips this year where I haven't gone to any clubs.
Hot girls/women are hard to date period. Stripper or not, guys will constantly flirt with her whether she's with you or not. And add to that she's got tons of friends(males) trying to get a piece of her, friends that she's known longer than you. Strippers would be like that x100. and some.
Guys don't actually actively want to date a stripper, guys meet a stripper and then actively want to pursue her. Big difference. It's after they meet their DS, and succumb to RILism that they then pursue. Mostly done by younger guys.
I'd rather just give her money at the end of the evening so that there's no ambiguity about what we're doing. And once things stop working out I just give money to a different girl and the two of us can pick up where I left off with the other one. This approach makes life simple.
I have. Best advice is that which has already been given.... just look at the dancers replies. The first words out of their mouth are money/rich/gifts. This is how they become wired to think and place value on relationships. The good news is that most know their way around a cock. The bad is that they're going to suck your bank account dry. Good luck tho.
Well here's some first hand insight having a current dancer g/f:
Pluses On Dating A dancer:
Whenever you go out, you're with the hottest girl in the room. At least in IMHO with mine.
They're very good at schmoosing waiters etc. for extra attention; you always get a great table where the restaurant can show her off.
The sex can be outstanding (but that is the same with anyone I suppose).
You get real insight on what being a dancer is like for her. This is something few P/L's really understand and one of the things that attracted her to me.
They get the best drugs cheap or even for free, and you get to share.
Minuses:
Her day starts around 3 PM and ends about 4 AM, even when she's off. You have to be good at getting little sleep; or no sleep if you spend the whole time fucking and you have to go to your job the next day.
All dancers are at least a little flaky so be prepared for that.
I've dated 3 strippers. All 3 I met in the club, when I was young (late 20s early 30s) and frankly shouldn't have been spending what little money I had then in a SC. So I had no fear of being taken advantage of, b/c I was pretty broke.
All hot girls are a little crazy, and the stripper lifestyle amplifies the natural crazy. If you're fucking a stripper for free, enjoy it for what it is, and assume each time she leaves that that's the last time you'll ever see her, and you'll be pleasantly surprised when she comes back (for a few weeks, anyway).
I'm still dating the same stripper I met in February. She's unusual in that I've never caught her in a lie, she's uncannily truthful. All the stuff you feared she'll tell you, I've heard it. Stripper drama daily ? Yes. Getting into a a fight. Getting sent home from the club. Arguing with girlfriend x today about whatever.
Has she hit a lick occasionally to make ends meet? Yes. She asked me if that was OK. I told her I don't want her to do it, but if you absolutely need to, I won't think anything less. When she did it, I backed up what I said. Lately I focus a lot of time and energy trying to get her to handle her own problems..and be financially responsible...I spend way less money and that's good..Like most of them she's to used to asking for financial "help" constantly. I don't want to turn into her pimp though either, but she'd probably have some money saved if I did.
The best things are the long periods of time spent together on dates and talking, and the long fuck sessions. She always wants to try new things and tries to impress me. Is it all worth it? I think so....before her I was depressed and stuck in a rut...Now I fell alive and free.
I never used to call it dating but we used words like hanging out or having fun or meeting up. I routinely used to meet up or hang out with strippers after work and I did not pay them. It was usually only one dancer at a time. The dancers usually initiated things except when I drank too much. I promised myself to stop hooking up or going out with strippers at one time. Too much drama. I was a lot younger at one time and any pretty girl who said she would like to meet up and didn't start out the conversation by telling me she was a lesbian but wanted to experiment, I partied with. I remember doing so with one regular girl I met at a bar and she knew every bar in town I never heard of and we had beer at every one of them. I never visited 4 to 7 bars in a single night before then. I never knew where I might end up at going out with some strippers. Maybe I liked a little bit of excitement.
does her suggesting marriage count? i’ve had two serious proposals lately. one is a hk girl with two kids and the other is a former porn star that strips and also has a good job in a regular educated field.
what's dating a stripper but just dating a woman who just so happens to shake her ass for money. She's just a human, don't really see the big deal here? If you ran into her in the street, you'd just think she's super hot.
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And yeah I am married to one.
So I hear all the stories and sly attempt you all make.
Then his work sent him elsewhere. We both assumed we would stop talking to each other. But then we didn’t, and ended up seriously dating.
_______
“Most on here will never be successful because most of you see women as objects and are guilty of assault.”
I despise entitled men who take advantage of strippers more than anyone here, most likely. I say this because I want to be understood where I’m coming from when I say this:
Strip clubs are a fantasy land.
It’s the hardened PLs on here that are more likely to back off and respect a dancer’s limits. I’ve met some extras hounds on from this site (who may or may not post on the discussion board as well ) and I have actually had an easier time with my admittedly small TUSCL sample than one would initially believe.
At the risk of sounding deluded, a lot of customer bad behavior really can be salvaged. I view *most* of the the bad behavior is from “baby PL” who eventually come around to learning the “etiquette.”
I have no doubts they are confused because they hear contradictory things. Nobody wants to be taken advantage of, but also the vast majority don’t want to be true assholes either.
I may not like the behavior, but I can’t fault them personally either because I know my biggest fuck ups in the past (both in the favor of the customer, or the exact opposite) was simple not knowing how to act in the moment.
Dating stripper = with all due respect for the very few people who have made it work, as a general rule, pretty retarded to even think about it
Everyone who has, seems to be on a "wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy" basis now. I never really progressed to full dating, but have had a few that were FWB -- but in two cases, we got incredibly close. I met all in the club, and had moved from stripper/customer to ATF/regular before we transitioned to FWB. Or, IOW, exactly the opposite of the PUA and pretend-pimp playbooks. Which makes sense -- even if the PUA "go in and throw money around but don't buy lap dances and pretend to be disinterested" actually worked, a stripper isn't going to be magically attracted to a 50-year-old through something like that.
It’s difficult at best to have a GF that shares the goods with others for a fee, is all I was saying.
My advice is have fun while it lasts but plan for it to end and don’t fall in love.
First time I met the girl in the club. The entire time, no matter what, I always had the feeling she was in it just to see what she could get out of me. That may not have been the case, but considering where we met and what she was doing at the time, I just could never shake the feeling. This could simply have been my insecurities, but that was how I felt.
Second time. We met after she stopped stripping and we ended up getting married. She actually went back to stripping for a while, but eventually gave it up to be a stay at home mom.
My advice, I agree about meeting her in the club. If you do and the relationship progresses, you better be sure you're secure in your emotions and confident in your ability to trust her. Also, unless you do enjoy sharing your partner, I would advise against going to see her dance because that will do nothing but build on any jealousy you might have when she is dancing all over other guys.
^^^I suspect that is a lot of it. @Nicespice, thanks for writing that. Wounded pride can hurt a guy. Makes sense. You can read the undertone of the guys being hurt and swear-never-happen-again. Or just being confused or feeling taken advantage of and wanting to regain control.
It is my PL gut feeling that PLs get used more and usually come out with the short end of the stick when getting involved with a dancer - sure there are many custies that treat a stripper like a piece of furniture to be used, but it "seems" to me many of the custies that wanna date a dancer are often RILs that genuinely wanna have a dating relationship with their fave and it "seems" to me many of them get taken advantage of and often fleeced by the dancer - seems to me the RILs are often looking for love but the dancer is often looking at it as a business opportunity - of course I may see it like this bc my POV/reference-point is one of a custy - buy I feel often times the dancer has the upper-hand by the mere-fact she's in the club multiple days per week week-in week-out and thus will usually know the game/hustle much better than the avg custy.
I think that's true, too. Regular, non-PL non-RIL guys are not thinking "you know what I really want to do? date a stripper!" In fact, that's the opposite of what they're thinking. Practically by definition, the guys starting "I want to date a stripper" threads are just going down some delusional trail... it's why the discussion always feels so cringeworthy to me, between the lovesick RILs for whom this is the highest state of existence, to the guys regurgitating PUA "date a stripper" tactics.
Again, the exceptions prove the rule, and I realize some guys here might have not been looking for it, but found actual love in the club, and hey, that's great. But I'm guessing you guys weren't using PUA and pretend pimp tactics, or pining away for a stripper girlfriend.
As I've posted in the past, if the PL can't normally get the equivalent civilian in terms of hotness, why all of a sudden is a hot stripper in his grasps if it's not bc of the financial motivation.
Not to say it can't happen, but I'd PL-guesstimate that 95/100 times the dancer does not share the same feelings as the PL/RIL.
That's kind of what I always thought. Only on places like Tuscl do you see this fascination with dating a stripper because she's a stripper. Like she's some sort of prize to be won.
Me? After going to the club, I always thought, wow that was sexy and fun! I want to recreate more of that pleasure. Let me go find hot civilian to date or a 2-3 civilians to date. Then I'd hit the dating ground running.
It was more that the stripper provided motivation. Not the stripper (herself) was my motivation.
Once through SA.
If you look at my older comments I had a long term on again off again with a woman but she became a dancer after we met and broke up the first time.
There are challenges you will have that only come with dating a "sex worker" ( I use the term since Las Vegas uses it to classify what an exotic dancer/stripper is officially registered as before she can work in a club.)
Maybe because of meeting outside the club I didn't feel the way Subraman references it above. Truthfully I would have preferred they stopped dancing, and my one ex did multiple times.
Shailynn has it nailed as far as I am concerned......in the end the drama along with the lying ( even about shit nobody needs to lie about) is what made it not worth it.
A couple of them have contacted me or in one case stayed in contact with me although I don't see any of them at this point. It's odd, almost like I've become a wise old sage for advice. Not that they listen half the time. As far as I know all three of them are back outside of the life style again.
Pure guessing: Both groups work in stigmatized roles that society claims to hate, and yet many individuals will turn to them when the services are wanted. Both groups have a certain amount of corruption, and yet have to make judgement calls on what proper behavior is when they occur. Both groups tend to work irregular hours. Most people assume they are more intelligent by default than people who work either job.
That being said, I don’t personally know anyone who dates a cop in my area.
Other guy tipped me like $100 to hang out when we met, and did one dance. He didn’t pay or spoil me. He’s well off but far from rich. We dated for a few years. The relationship turned toxic when he became a regular strip club patron. I feel like those two things are related. There was constant drama often times involving the club. Never again wil I date a guy who is a regular club goer.
Guys don't actually actively want to date a stripper, guys meet a stripper and then actively want to pursue her. Big difference. It's after they meet their DS, and succumb to RILism that they then pursue. Mostly done by younger guys.
Pluses On Dating A dancer:
Whenever you go out, you're with the hottest girl in the room. At least in IMHO with mine.
They're very good at schmoosing waiters etc. for extra attention; you always get a great table where the restaurant can show her off.
The sex can be outstanding (but that is the same with anyone I suppose).
You get real insight on what being a dancer is like for her. This is something few P/L's really understand and one of the things that attracted her to me.
They get the best drugs cheap or even for free, and you get to share.
Minuses:
Her day starts around 3 PM and ends about 4 AM, even when she's off. You have to be good at getting little sleep; or no sleep if you spend the whole time fucking and you have to go to your job the next day.
All dancers are at least a little flaky so be prepared for that.
She may have kids, and they always come first.
You'd better like pit bulls.
They rarely have any concept of money management.
All hot girls are a little crazy, and the stripper lifestyle amplifies the natural crazy. If you're fucking a stripper for free, enjoy it for what it is, and assume each time she leaves that that's the last time you'll ever see her, and you'll be pleasantly surprised when she comes back (for a few weeks, anyway).
SJG
Has she hit a lick occasionally to make ends meet? Yes. She asked me if that was OK. I told her I don't want her to do it, but if you absolutely need to, I won't think anything less. When she did it, I backed up what I said. Lately I focus a lot of time and energy trying to get her to handle her own problems..and be financially responsible...I spend way less money and that's good..Like most of them she's to used to asking for financial "help" constantly. I don't want to turn into her pimp though either, but she'd probably have some money saved if I did.
The best things are the long periods of time spent together on dates and talking, and the long fuck sessions. She always wants to try new things and tries to impress me. Is it all worth it? I think so....before her I was depressed and stuck in a rut...Now I fell alive and free.