Dating strippers
Countryman5434
I entered the dragon and was never the same
How many pl on here have actually dated a stripper? Met her in the club hit it off and actually starting seeing each other no p4p real dating? If so how did it turn out? It happened to me and it all started with a front room makeout session! Any advice
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And yeah I am married to one.
So I hear all the stories and sly attempt you all make.
Then his work sent him elsewhere. We both assumed we would stop talking to each other. But then we didn’t, and ended up seriously dating.
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“Most on here will never be successful because most of you see women as objects and are guilty of assault.”
I despise entitled men who take advantage of strippers more than anyone here, most likely. I say this because I want to be understood where I’m coming from when I say this:
Strip clubs are a fantasy land.
It’s the hardened PLs on here that are more likely to back off and respect a dancer’s limits. I’ve met some extras hounds on from this site (who may or may not post on the discussion board as well ) and I have actually had an easier time with my admittedly small TUSCL sample than one would initially believe.
At the risk of sounding deluded, a lot of customer bad behavior really can be salvaged. I view *most* of the the bad behavior is from “baby PL” who eventually come around to learning the “etiquette.”
I have no doubts they are confused because they hear contradictory things. Nobody wants to be taken advantage of, but also the vast majority don’t want to be true assholes either.
I may not like the behavior, but I can’t fault them personally either because I know my biggest fuck ups in the past (both in the favor of the customer, or the exact opposite) was simple not knowing how to act in the moment.
Dating stripper = with all due respect for the very few people who have made it work, as a general rule, pretty retarded to even think about it
Everyone who has, seems to be on a "wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy" basis now. I never really progressed to full dating, but have had a few that were FWB -- but in two cases, we got incredibly close. I met all in the club, and had moved from stripper/customer to ATF/regular before we transitioned to FWB. Or, IOW, exactly the opposite of the PUA and pretend-pimp playbooks. Which makes sense -- even if the PUA "go in and throw money around but don't buy lap dances and pretend to be disinterested" actually worked, a stripper isn't going to be magically attracted to a 50-year-old through something like that.
It’s difficult at best to have a GF that shares the goods with others for a fee, is all I was saying.
My advice is have fun while it lasts but plan for it to end and don’t fall in love.
First time I met the girl in the club. The entire time, no matter what, I always had the feeling she was in it just to see what she could get out of me. That may not have been the case, but considering where we met and what she was doing at the time, I just could never shake the feeling. This could simply have been my insecurities, but that was how I felt.
Second time. We met after she stopped stripping and we ended up getting married. She actually went back to stripping for a while, but eventually gave it up to be a stay at home mom.
My advice, I agree about meeting her in the club. If you do and the relationship progresses, you better be sure you're secure in your emotions and confident in your ability to trust her. Also, unless you do enjoy sharing your partner, I would advise against going to see her dance because that will do nothing but build on any jealousy you might have when she is dancing all over other guys.
^^^I suspect that is a lot of it. @Nicespice, thanks for writing that. Wounded pride can hurt a guy. Makes sense. You can read the undertone of the guys being hurt and swear-never-happen-again. Or just being confused or feeling taken advantage of and wanting to regain control.
It is my PL gut feeling that PLs get used more and usually come out with the short end of the stick when getting involved with a dancer - sure there are many custies that treat a stripper like a piece of furniture to be used, but it "seems" to me many of the custies that wanna date a dancer are often RILs that genuinely wanna have a dating relationship with their fave and it "seems" to me many of them get taken advantage of and often fleeced by the dancer - seems to me the RILs are often looking for love but the dancer is often looking at it as a business opportunity - of course I may see it like this bc my POV/reference-point is one of a custy - buy I feel often times the dancer has the upper-hand by the mere-fact she's in the club multiple days per week week-in week-out and thus will usually know the game/hustle much better than the avg custy.
I think that's true, too. Regular, non-PL non-RIL guys are not thinking "you know what I really want to do? date a stripper!" In fact, that's the opposite of what they're thinking. Practically by definition, the guys starting "I want to date a stripper" threads are just going down some delusional trail... it's why the discussion always feels so cringeworthy to me, between the lovesick RILs for whom this is the highest state of existence, to the guys regurgitating PUA "date a stripper" tactics.
Again, the exceptions prove the rule, and I realize some guys here might have not been looking for it, but found actual love in the club, and hey, that's great. But I'm guessing you guys weren't using PUA and pretend pimp tactics, or pining away for a stripper girlfriend.
As I've posted in the past, if the PL can't normally get the equivalent civilian in terms of hotness, why all of a sudden is a hot stripper in his grasps if it's not bc of the financial motivation.
Not to say it can't happen, but I'd PL-guesstimate that 95/100 times the dancer does not share the same feelings as the PL/RIL.
That's kind of what I always thought. Only on places like Tuscl do you see this fascination with dating a stripper because she's a stripper. Like she's some sort of prize to be won.
Me? After going to the club, I always thought, wow that was sexy and fun! I want to recreate more of that pleasure. Let me go find hot civilian to date or a 2-3 civilians to date. Then I'd hit the dating ground running.
It was more that the stripper provided motivation. Not the stripper (herself) was my motivation.
Once through SA.
If you look at my older comments I had a long term on again off again with a woman but she became a dancer after we met and broke up the first time.
There are challenges you will have that only come with dating a "sex worker" ( I use the term since Las Vegas uses it to classify what an exotic dancer/stripper is officially registered as before she can work in a club.)
Maybe because of meeting outside the club I didn't feel the way Subraman references it above. Truthfully I would have preferred they stopped dancing, and my one ex did multiple times.
Shailynn has it nailed as far as I am concerned......in the end the drama along with the lying ( even about shit nobody needs to lie about) is what made it not worth it.
A couple of them have contacted me or in one case stayed in contact with me although I don't see any of them at this point. It's odd, almost like I've become a wise old sage for advice. Not that they listen half the time. As far as I know all three of them are back outside of the life style again.
Pure guessing: Both groups work in stigmatized roles that society claims to hate, and yet many individuals will turn to them when the services are wanted. Both groups have a certain amount of corruption, and yet have to make judgement calls on what proper behavior is when they occur. Both groups tend to work irregular hours. Most people assume they are more intelligent by default than people who work either job.
That being said, I don’t personally know anyone who dates a cop in my area.
Other guy tipped me like $100 to hang out when we met, and did one dance. He didn’t pay or spoil me. He’s well off but far from rich. We dated for a few years. The relationship turned toxic when he became a regular strip club patron. I feel like those two things are related. There was constant drama often times involving the club. Never again wil I date a guy who is a regular club goer.
Guys don't actually actively want to date a stripper, guys meet a stripper and then actively want to pursue her. Big difference. It's after they meet their DS, and succumb to RILism that they then pursue. Mostly done by younger guys.
Pluses On Dating A dancer:
Whenever you go out, you're with the hottest girl in the room. At least in IMHO with mine.
They're very good at schmoosing waiters etc. for extra attention; you always get a great table where the restaurant can show her off.
The sex can be outstanding (but that is the same with anyone I suppose).
You get real insight on what being a dancer is like for her. This is something few P/L's really understand and one of the things that attracted her to me.
They get the best drugs cheap or even for free, and you get to share.
Minuses:
Her day starts around 3 PM and ends about 4 AM, even when she's off. You have to be good at getting little sleep; or no sleep if you spend the whole time fucking and you have to go to your job the next day.
All dancers are at least a little flaky so be prepared for that.
She may have kids, and they always come first.
You'd better like pit bulls.
They rarely have any concept of money management.
All hot girls are a little crazy, and the stripper lifestyle amplifies the natural crazy. If you're fucking a stripper for free, enjoy it for what it is, and assume each time she leaves that that's the last time you'll ever see her, and you'll be pleasantly surprised when she comes back (for a few weeks, anyway).
SJG
Has she hit a lick occasionally to make ends meet? Yes. She asked me if that was OK. I told her I don't want her to do it, but if you absolutely need to, I won't think anything less. When she did it, I backed up what I said. Lately I focus a lot of time and energy trying to get her to handle her own problems..and be financially responsible...I spend way less money and that's good..Like most of them she's to used to asking for financial "help" constantly. I don't want to turn into her pimp though either, but she'd probably have some money saved if I did.
The best things are the long periods of time spent together on dates and talking, and the long fuck sessions. She always wants to try new things and tries to impress me. Is it all worth it? I think so....before her I was depressed and stuck in a rut...Now I fell alive and free.