I meet a dancer yesterday who checks all the boxes:fun, funny, smart, great body, attractive etc. We hit it off very well. Spent two hours together at a table. Between lunch, drinks, stage tips and her time I dropped roughly $230. No complaints, money well spent. I asked if she would see me OTC. "I don't normally but I'd see you." We exchange numbers, text, all good. The club is 90 minutes from my house and I only go when in the area on business. (I work in sales) She told me today that she wants to see me a few more times in the club before OTC. Reasonable request I believe. My question to you,oh wise ones is how do I sense if she is only interested in ITC and wants only to empty my checking account? Our OTC discussions have not been sexual in nature, but rather lunch, shopping etc.Thanks in advance for your help.
My own view is that if you want her, you should gently try to steer it to outside meetings ASAP. Maybe it won't happen that fast, but I've seen it happen immediately. I suggest though always treating her like a 100% civilian. You can still give her money, if she seems to want that. But never act like money buys her or the money is another other than a show of care and concern.
Strip clubs are good for first meeting a girl, but not for anything else.
^^^ this coming from an idiot who has never been in a strip club.
You want to meet her outside
She wants to keep you inside
Eventually one of you is gonna give in, but be forewarned, she may have no intentions what so ever to ever meet you outside the club but will dangle it. On the other hand if she’s done full service with you ITC I’d say she’s much more likely to do OTC with you eventually.
Maybe communicate that since you're 90 minutes from the club you could see her more often if she did OTC and continue the schedule of only going when you're in the area.
Clarify your OTC objective in your own mind. Paid sex? She likely wouldn’t stall, unless trying to gauge your serial killer vibe. Free sex? If paying for it in the club, you’re probably dreaming unless she’s an actual unicorn. An actual relationship that may or may not involve free sex? If you can handle the inevitable BS of stripper life, that’s your call but you’ll be dropping cash both in & out of the club and it’ll add up (I speak from bitter past experience). IMO, sex in the club is worth 2 in the bush. I only see one stripper OTC with no guaranteed sex, as she’s more of a really fun time who’s undemanding & mostly low/shared costs (the unicorn!). Good luck.
it sounds like she genuinely means that but wants to make sure you won't expect sex. so if that's what you're going for i wouldn't bother. after enough paid dates (lunch and shopping like you said) sex can sometimes happen with a girl who doesn't normally do that. but the chances are slim and you'll have spent a looot of money before she even thinks about it
What ur going to want to do here is play rope a dope. You're going to see her 1-2 more times over the next month and spend a reasonable amount of dough. Don't be stingy, don't overspend. You're going to occasionally just text her and see how her day is and send her a silly pic of a dog or flowers. You are going to mention OTC each time you visit her at the club. On one of the text exchanges you are going to joke about meeting for a drink. Then you are going to go silent. She will begin texting you and maybe even calling you at which point you're gonna say 'Look, from the jump you knew I was interested in getting to know you OTC. It doesn't appear you're interested which is cool. So I know when and where you work and I'll catch you around the way. If you change you're mind and want to meet sometime, just let me know. Otherwise, I'll see you around.' Her pussy is going to get wet because you took charge and she is then going to schedule something with you or she was never interested. My money is in the former if you play it right. Strippers like bad-asses that know how to manipulate them.
It smells like the classic string-a-long hustle - milk you for what she can till you become a pest then she drops you - her wanting to see you a few more times ITC smells like just a money-play.
If you've only met her once then up to two more ITCs may be fair but by the third ITC if she had not committed to OTC then:
1) just enjoy her ITC
2) move on if OTC is your top-priority (vs nice if it happens)
Just IMO, I could be wrong but I wouldn't take her at her word that she will eventually do OTC.
I once fell in lust with a dancer and immediately pushed for OTC. Come to find out she was living with the DJ and gave each flat no. Because she intrigued me I went back week after week always buying 10 $20 dances. Now 10 dances are a great opportunity to get to know each other and we became friends. As a friend she shared stories of the impending breakup, her search for an apartment and finally an offer to be my sex slave for 24 hours for $2000. So the ice was broken. She’d agreed to have sex for money. My many visits to her apartment were always an adventure. One night she didn’t want to have sex so we didn’t. We played chess for 3 hours. Another time we watched a movie. She sat on the floor between my legs. About 1/2 way through she said she didn’t like the movie, “ may I suck your cock instead.?” There’ll always be wonderful memories. She’s now a housewife with 2 kids.
Classic string-a-long game. Papi, doctorevil and twenty (among others) hit the nail on the head IMO.
Now are there girls who actually want to get to know a guy ITC before agreeing to OTC? Absolutely. The difference is that those girls generally won't tell you that, but instead will act non-committal or even initially just say no until they are ready. The ones who actually tee it up like that from the outset are, in my experience, almost always running a game.
The smart money is on "stringing you along and spending money on her, until you eventually wise up". The conservative play is to move on.
That said, I have stories like gawker's -- in fact, more than one -- where a girl who was hesitant, agreed to OTC after a few more visits. Usually this is in the case of newer dancers who may not have had much or any OTC experience before. But it happens.
So, just making up numbers, 75% she's stringing you along, 25% chance you can convince her with more trips (the newer she is, the better your chances are). Up to you to decide whether you want to spend your money on those odds or not. I often go for it, but give myself a strict limit of "X more visits, then OTC or out".
IMO an experienced SCer/OTCer knows how/when to play the waiting-game and when to pull-the-plug - whereas IMO a not so experienced SCer/OTCer is much more susceptible to getting strung-along
^ please if she wasn’t stringing him along she’d have either agreed to do an outside date with no sex involved, geezealoo man read what he wrote, meet her for lunch or dinner or drinks in a public place, and she’s going to get worried that he’s LE or whatever, she’s just trying to max her money. Nothing here to see.
Cash, what twenty said. Or she would have been non-committal, or she would have said anything else but what she said. That line rates right up there with "You need to pay me in the club so that I'm not a whore" and other timeless classics.
Odds 90% are, shes stringing you out for more itc cash. 5% she might do otc after a couple visits. 5% she is creeped out by you and really Hope's you just dont come back
Maybe he needs to get the texts back on topic? If he’s not steering her towards otc sex, it’s possible he’s been “friend zoned” - which is the worst possible fate for any pl.
If he’s not upfront about fucking her otc, she might see him as a mark - and not a paying fuck. If she doesn’t do this often, it’s much easier to try to have a more platonic date with him.
It’s easy to write her off. Maybe it’s worth an additional try. She sounds like she’s his type, and I know some guys have specific tastes in otc girls.
If he’s in the area on business, and wants to see some tits, it can’t hurt to go to the club again. See if the rent is due, or if her car needs tires - and make her a take it or leave it offer. If she says no - I’m sure there’s another dancing whore around with financial needs - and nice tits!
So many of you are jaded. Im with cash here. He seemed to enjoy the time he spent with her ITC. There is nothing to lose going back next time in town and firming up the situation.
All good comments again guys. Thanks. And while I've been going to SC's for a long time I fear I fell into the " Starry-eyed rookie" this time. Update: I texted and asked why lunch OTC is different than lunch ITC. (Cue the crickets) So,there it is. I got played. Shrug.
You gave it a shot. You had a good time itc, so that was good. Otc doesn’t happen all the time. You didn’t go back and fall into the spending and being strung along trap - so that’s good.
Not everyone goes to the club for the same reasons. I personally enjoy club visits for what they offer. A frequent poster on here who has a penis small enough to go with his brain actually called me a poseur because I don't pay to fuck prostitutes.
It sounds like you go to this club occasionally, and it did seem that you enjoyed spending time with her last time.
How are you going to let this info impact your next visit to that town?
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Strip clubs are good for first meeting a girl, but not for anything else.
Good Luck
SJG
You want to meet her outside
She wants to keep you inside
Eventually one of you is gonna give in, but be forewarned, she may have no intentions what so ever to ever meet you outside the club but will dangle it. On the other hand if she’s done full service with you ITC I’d say she’s much more likely to do OTC with you eventually.
SJG
Always good advice when dealing with women from strip clubs.
SJG
Simians Cyborgs and Women
https://www.amazon.com/Simians-Cyborgs-W…
Cyborg Manifesto, full text
http://faculty.georgetown.edu/irvinem/th…
And we must not forget Valerie Solanas 1967 SCUM Manifesto ( Society for Cutting Up Men )
http://www.ccs.neu.edu/home/shivers/rant…
BAKER GURVITZ ARMY - Hearts On Fire
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rip84gh6…
If you've only met her once then up to two more ITCs may be fair but by the third ITC if she had not committed to OTC then:
1) just enjoy her ITC
2) move on if OTC is your top-priority (vs nice if it happens)
Just IMO, I could be wrong but I wouldn't take her at her word that she will eventually do OTC.
Now are there girls who actually want to get to know a guy ITC before agreeing to OTC? Absolutely. The difference is that those girls generally won't tell you that, but instead will act non-committal or even initially just say no until they are ready. The ones who actually tee it up like that from the outset are, in my experience, almost always running a game.
That said, I have stories like gawker's -- in fact, more than one -- where a girl who was hesitant, agreed to OTC after a few more visits. Usually this is in the case of newer dancers who may not have had much or any OTC experience before. But it happens.
So, just making up numbers, 75% she's stringing you along, 25% chance you can convince her with more trips (the newer she is, the better your chances are). Up to you to decide whether you want to spend your money on those odds or not. I often go for it, but give myself a strict limit of "X more visits, then OTC or out".
My thought is to stop in the next time you are in her area for business.
Don’t make a special trip out there to see if she’s up for otc.
If she doesn’t agree to otc on your next visit, I’d think she’s stringing you along, and I’d move on to another dancer (who doesn’t play games).
If he’s not upfront about fucking her otc, she might see him as a mark - and not a paying fuck. If she doesn’t do this often, it’s much easier to try to have a more platonic date with him.
It’s easy to write her off. Maybe it’s worth an additional try. She sounds like she’s his type, and I know some guys have specific tastes in otc girls.
If he’s in the area on business, and wants to see some tits, it can’t hurt to go to the club again. See if the rent is due, or if her car needs tires - and make her a take it or leave it offer. If she says no - I’m sure there’s another dancing whore around with financial needs - and nice tits!
It sounds like you go to this club occasionally, and it did seem that you enjoyed spending time with her last time.
How are you going to let this info impact your next visit to that town?
But on the other hand, there is the off chance she really means it. Idk what her past circumstances are, but some of it can be unpleasant.
Just yesterday an ex regular of mine sent me a snap out of nowhere saying “Hello (insert my real name here)”.
I never told him my real name.
I blocked him. I doubt his creepiness will go past that, but now I have to be more careful.
It sucks because I thought I had my stuff secure. :/ Ugh