PL Etiquette Part 2

doctorevil
Evil Lair
Ok, so I just got back from dinner at burger place very close to my house. It's kind of an upscale burger place--it has a full bar and they delivery the food to your table. But not too upscale. You order at a counter and drinks are self serve. Anyway, after I sit down, I look across the restaurant, and I see a Follies day shift dancer that I have done a couple of VIPs with sitting with her date/boyfriend/pimp. I suspect pimp from the looks of him. Obviously, it would be a serious breach of PL etiquette to interject myself uninvited into the pimp-ho relationship during off duty time. Plus, I don't want him to pull out a pearl handled pistol and pop a cap in my ass. So I refrain. After a few minutes, she goes up to the drink station for a refill. I thought about going for a refill, too, and saying hi to her with a surprised look. I don't think it would bother her, but I decided not to in case it would freak her out. My final thought was to send her a text saying hi and letting her know I saw her, but that seemed kind of stalkerish. So I decided to do nothing. I might mention it if I see her in the club again, but maybe not.

29 comments

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  • SirLapdancealot
    6 years ago
    Good discretion. I would only approach a stripper in the civilian world if we were both alone.

    Along similar lines but for stripper etiquette...

    Not too long ago I had seen my backup CF at her club and a few days later my wife and I took a flight out of town. After we came back I went to see backup CF again and at that point she told me we were on the same flight together and she passed me as my wife and I were sitting on the plane and she was going to her seat farther back. I didn't see her at all. I told her thanks for not making it awkward by coming up to me and she said it was no problem and would never approach a customer in the civilian world unless he initiated it. That's one reason why she's a fave.
  • NJBalla
    6 years ago
    Yeah I love a fave who keeps it professional. I once had a girl chase me down in a crowded train station saying "do you remember me?". I said yeah and then booked it. I didnt go to her club for another 5 years after that
  • NJBalla
    6 years ago
    I would say the most akward place to bounce into a girl is at the gym though. Especially if she is a regular.
  • flagooner
    6 years ago
    "...it has a full bar and they delivery the food to your table. But not too upscale. You order at a counter and drinks are self serve."

    An alcoholic's dream establishment. Full bar and self serve.
  • Huntsman
    6 years ago
    I agree with just letting it pass.
  • flagooner
    6 years ago
    Yeah, approaching, or even acknowledging a stripper on her off time is definitely inappropriate.
  • doctorevil
    6 years ago
    Flag: I realized that wasn't exactly clear after I posted it. Only the soft drinks are self serve.
  • wallanon
    6 years ago
    The only time I've ever spoken with a dancer outside of a club is if we agreed to meet or she approaches me.
  • Jascoi
    6 years ago
    personally... from the perspective as a sex starved divorced old man longing for attractive female attention... you and the dancer handled it well.
  • playfulsteve
    6 years ago
    Handled it perfectly. I’ve given the nod in passing when she/I was alone, but other than that, don’t acknowledge.
  • flagooner
    6 years ago
    @ drevil
    Yeah, I figured that.
  • GoVikings
    6 years ago
    i think you made the right move
  • Icey
    6 years ago
    I don't think there's anything wrong with saying hi. You'd say hi to other people you have a business relationship with. The real issue here is your sense of guilt and implied shame.
  • doctorevil
    6 years ago
    I might feel guilty, but that's not why I decided to do nothing. If it was a regular business acquaintance, I'm sure I would have said hello. But my regular business acquaintances don't suck my dick for money. I didn't want to cause her any awkwardness since she was with someone (and again, didn't want to get capped). If she was alone, I probably would have said hello.
  • GoVikings
    6 years ago
    "But my regular business acquaintances don't suck my dick for money."

    lolol, too funny
  • Papi_Chulo
    6 years ago
    You should have gone with the Juice-move and stood behind her table while making it rain some $1s on her - then just walk back to your table w/o saying a word
  • Papi_Chulo
    6 years ago
    If I see a dancer in public with anyone I don't acknowledge her in anyway - if she's alone then I may make eye-contact and smile and maybe just say hi and let her take it from there in w/e direction she wishes
  • JAprufrock
    6 years ago
    Discretion is the better part of valor -- whatever the fuck that means. Anyway, without a doubt, doing nothing was the right move.
    Reminds me of something from about 30 years ago. A nice-looking young gal that danced at a club I frequented semi-regularly kissed me on the lips for a simple $1 stage tip. Maybe weeks or a couple months later, I went drinking with a buddy and his friend from work, who I'd never met. We dropped him off at home afterward and he invited us in to meet his live-in girlfriend. You guessed it -- it was the same gal from the strip club. I was a taken aback and didn't know what to say. She didn't recognize me as we'd only had that one brief encounter.
    For a second, I thought about saying something like "Hi, we met at such and such bar a while back," then thought better of it, and glad I did. I figured the guy knew what his girl does for a living but I wasn't 100 percent sure. That was the only time I saw him, and my buddy never mentioned him after that. I wasn't sure whether to envy him for having a pretty stripper girlfriend or feel bad for him.
    Three decades later, I'd envy him and anyone else with a hot stripper girlfriend. Sure beats jacking off at night.
  • boomer79
    6 years ago
    I had a stripper come up to me and give me a hug while I was at a restaurant with a client and co- worker. She didn’t say where she knew me from and after she left I said she was a server at a restaurant where I was a regular. It was fine but you never know who someone is with.
  • twentyfive
    6 years ago
    Saying hello isn’t such a big deal, you guys are making more out of it than the situation warrants there’s no reason you need to worry one way or another, but damn man untill you clarified that the self serve was soft drinks I was gonna ask you what the name of the restaurant was ;)
  • Warrior15
    6 years ago
    I might walk by so she would see me, then wink at her when she looks my way. But I would not go talk to her if she was with someone else. If she was by herself, I probably would say HI but let her make the decision if she wants to talk beyond that.
  • azdd
    6 years ago
    @boomer79 - that would be totally uncool if a dancer did that to me. I agree with the OP’s decision to do nothing. We all have our lives comparmentalized to a degree, and in my case my “real”life is very segregated from my PL life. I think most dancers appreciate discretion in public just as much as I do.
  • shadowcat
    6 years ago
    shadowcatAtlanta
    Unexpected meetings with strippers OTC.
    February 21, 2008

    This topic has been discussed before but I bring it up again for the newbies and because I had another recent experience. Rule #1 when this happens. Never approach her. She might have real concerns. Let her make the move, if she chooses. I give you 3 true examples of what can happen and has happened to me in the last year or so.

    A) I was having breakfast at the IHOP. As soon as I sat down, I saw one of my favorite dancers with her husband. He had his back to me. As soon as she spotted me, she smiled and waved. Evertime I looked in her direction, I got that big smile again. As they were leaving, she again waved to me. Later, when I got to the club. I tried to tell several dancers about our chance meeting. They had already heard it from her.

    B) I was having breakfast at a Waffle House, just blocks from the club. A favorite dancer came in(I know that she is married. She placed an order to go and then spotted me. Big smile. Came right over and sat and talked with me until her order was ready. Later in the club we both talked to other dancer about our chance meeting.

    C)Just last week, I again was having breakfast at the same Waffle House. I saw another favorite dancer with her husband. Now I have not known this one nearly as long as the two previous ones. We both spotted each other at the same time. I nodded and she nodded back. That was the end of it. She did not work at the club that day.

    Better to be safe than sorry!
  • Subraman
    6 years ago
    -->"that would be totally uncool if a dancer did that to me. I agree with the OP’s decision to do nothing."

    Agree. And based on discussions elsewhere, where strippers participated (including the ever-reliable SW), that's what most of the girls prefer, too, although of course there are always exceptions. Consensus is even stronger on escort sites, particularly in escort-only part of the forum. There's just too many things you don't know, even if she seems to be alone for the moment, and the stakes might be high for her. Similarly, back when I was married, and even today when I'm on a vanilla date -- I want the stripper to not acknowledge me at all, no looking in my direction and winking, nothing.
  • ppwh
    6 years ago
    When living near a club I frequented, I saw a dancer and various club staff around on several occasions. I always let them make the call on whether or not we exchanged greetings.

    It was actually the bathroom attendant who seemed the most worried that I would out him when I saw him in the gas station store while he was talking to the clerk. He studiously ducked into the other doorway as I was going in. On a different night, he was on the other side of the gas pump and we exchanged a greeting, though.

    Once I was out at the store and saw a cute girl walking in out of the corner of my eye. I looked away because I didn't want it to be weird. It turned out to be a dancer - she went out of her way to come over and greet me, which was cool.

    The only time that was semi-awkward was when a dancer who had switched to door girl was out shopping with her boyfriend and baby. She came over and wanted to chat a bit. Her boyfriend was really chill, but the whole time, I was wondering what the etiquette is for that kind of situation. I think my baseline level of awkwardness helps out in these situations, since I can just switch reasons for being awkward rather than having sudden-onset awkwardness.
  • Jascoi
    6 years ago
    if i see her outside the club all i do is smile. (trying not to have a ‘shit eating grin’ is the challenge.)

    if she sees me... it gets more complicated. depends who is with me. for me her looks and sexiness factor in. if i am with company an 8,9 or 10 girl definitely can approach me anytime. a 7... maybe. 6 or less... idk.

    if i’m alone... any girl... come hop in my lap!
  • ei8ht_Ball
    6 years ago
    I think you did the right thing. I also wouldn't text a girl if we've only done just a couple VIPs together, but if she's a CF then I think a text would be appropriate. In fact my CF and I were just talking about this the other night, and we both agreed that if we see each other in public just send a text first to confirm whether or not it's okay to approach the other. I assume that if she sees me in public it would be at a store or a restaurant, and she'll probably ask me to buy her something, so I'll also take this into consideration before sending/responding to a text. It's all contingent on how expensive the store is and what my non-clubbing expenses are adding up to for the month.
  • April9424
    6 years ago
    The only time it’s ok to come up or talk to each other is if both people are alone. It’s just as inappropriate for a dancer to do it as a PL. I think if numbers have been exchanged then sending a text is fine and not weird at all
  • bubba267
    6 years ago
    Same as I would handle
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