Comments by DoctorDarby (page 3)

Mechanical relief could work the other way around. If men didn't pay bills and take out the garbage, most of us could easily be replaced by a drawer full of dildos and a Hitachi wand.

UFC is a blight to sports bars as well. It is noisy, pointless, boring big-screen viewing surrounded by clueless 20-something, backward hat wannabes. It sucks all the fun out the local Tilted Kilt on Saturday nights. I cannot imagine what it does to the atmosphere of a strip club, given the fact that most UFC fans come from the exact demographic that rarely buys dances on any night. No other televised sport matches it or its fans for sheer obnoxiousness.

There is always a risk when leaving the straw in while drinking directly from the glass. The slightest miscalculation will send the wayward straw up your nose or into your eyeball. Not only is this dangerous (you could put your eye out kid), but it destroys any possible "game" you might think you have with the ladies. This has never happened to me. I only observed it. Really.

Sadly, I passed up years of SB parties at one place only to find out much later that they were like a Roman orgies with football. Since the club was technically closed on Sunday, it was a private party, so the girls were able to go way over the normal legal limits and debauchery reigned supreme. The dancer who told me about was a "good girl" who only let guys rub their dicks on her tits. Most of the rest were not as inhibited. I think I wept a little bit when I heard that story . . ..

Run away. Fast. Now.

The whole statement looks like it was translated electronically from Mongolian. I mentally checked out when I read "wear" instead of "where" and at the delusional premise that pretending to be crippled (a "simp" or lame?) will get you extras. Dumb + incomprehensible = FAIL

If by DP you mean vaginal and anal with two guys, I suspect that it happens rarely in real life in spite of its popularity in porn. In the real world, if a couple of buddies are double-teaming the same girl (in a club or elsewhere), one would take the mouth and the other would penetrate one of holes at the other end. The porn DP puts two guys and two penises in close proximity to one another, which is fine among pro's (many of whom are bisexual), but not as likely with regular, straight guys in most circumstances.

One of the best movies ever. Peter Sellers plays multiple roles and George C. Scott is hilarious as General "Buck" Turgeson: You can't let that commie in the war room, he'll see the Big Board!!"

Its been a while, but "The Rodeo Song" and "I love this bar" are both major fails as SC songs. Most Led Zeppelin songs don't work, but Pink Floyd songs do. Go figure.

Happy belated birthday Shadowcat. This would have been on time but it fell under the car seat and got covered by Big Mac wrappers. I think that stain on the corner is Big Mac "special sauce" but I'm not sure. Sending latex gloves just in case. . .

I dated a woman years ago whose older brother pimped out his young girlfriend as a "private dancer" for a year or so. This continued while she was pregnant with their first kid. She was kinda cute, but no beauty. He was a scheming weasel who always had some seedy project going on. They got married at some point and I lost track of them when I stopped dating the sister.

I am not a fan of tats, but accept them as the "new normal" both inside and outside of the strip clubs (the existence of multiple tattoo shows on TV featuring women as both givers and receivers is evidence). There have been a number of very attractive students in my college classes who sported tattoos that did not improve their overall look and I cannot imagine what they were thinking when they got them. It didn't affect their work (several were good students) and didn't keep me from ogling them when they showed off the ones on their chests. Given that there is an exhibitionistic element to wearing tats, its not a surprise that so many dancers have them, but I agree that they generally detract from the qualities many of us are looking for. I found the nose, lip, nipple, tongue, and vaginal piercing trend equally as disturbing, but unlike tats, the hardware could be removed when its trendiness waned. The combination of excessive tattoos and facial piercings creates some pretty unappealing results that even natural good looks and a decent body can't overcome. I don't see this style trend going away any time soon, so I will just work around it the same way I did with piercings and bad boob jobs.

Gee, I am so retarded that I pushed the "post comment" button before I wrote the comment. Durrrrrr. Anyhow, I was going to say that ESPN's Mike and Mike had a full debate last week about "Die Hard" being a Christmas movie. Golic said it was not; Greenie insisted it was. The audience split. I tend to see it as the Christmas "alternative" when one gets tired of all the good cheer. Otherwise, its "Christmas Story" all the way. Durrrrr. . ..

I'm not sure these terms apply as much to customers, since it is difficult to gauge dominance or submissiveness simply by their behavior in a bar. The loud, pushy, obnoxious customer who creates a spectacle is not showing dominance; he's just being a dick. The guy who sits in the corner, tips generously, and has a swarm of dancers hanging around all the time may be the truly dominant personality. It's much easier to pick out the doms and subs among dancers in a club, particularly if you are a regular and watch them interact with each other and the customers. The dominant dancer isn't the pushy, loud one; she's the one that moves gracefully between customers, deals patiently with new girls, and is solid with the bouncers and bartenders. Much like the dominant customer, she rarely makes a fuss and always knows where she needs to be. You don't get extras from her unless you earn them by tipping well and letting her lead. She might not be your ATF, but if she likes you and your ATF, she becomes a very handy ally when it comes to enjoying VIP's and other perks. She will send hot new girls your way and never be threatened if you don't get around to getting dances with her, though she will work to give you a chance, even if she is busy. As is usually the rule, if a girl says she's a dom, she's probably not. The true leaders are the ones who lead without being obvious about it.

I likes this story Mr. Professor Slick. Me wants to hear more twisted history!

How do we trust the observations and opinions of someone who expresses themselves so badly? Whether fair or not, we often judge intelligence by the person's ability to express themselves. Although judging stripper flesh and the quality of lap dances isn't rocket science, I'm less inclined to believe Mr. Run-on Sentence than someone who sounds smarterrer . . . um . .. .smartlinesser . .. er . . .less dumber.

Meet the Ass family: Dumb, Smart, Kick, and Lazy Ass (complete with little stick figures like on the back of soccer mom SUV's)

I fear you may be right Steve. At least clubber is keeping an eye on spelling!!

@crazyjoe It's humor. Note the Elmer Fudd use of "vewy" in the title. Meant to be sarcastic. Jeez.

Apparently, edition=addition. I just loves this new street lingo. It makes me feel . . . um . . . errrr . . . oh, never mind.

I have been badly out of the loop lately so I'm afraid I only can be of limited help. If you want a nice experience and decent looking girls, the Diamond Lodge (Rootstown) or Royale (Canton) are fine, but the air dance policy practically kills any extras. Georgie's Girls (across from the late, lamented Jen's) is hit or miss, but much more likely to produce additional fun if you hit it right. I have never hit the rest of the clubs in that Brittain/Tallmadge Rd strip, but they have numerous reviews so you can decide for yourself if they are worth a visit. Club 76 used to be a dive worth visiting, but my last experience was not great. Some folks like Gatsby's (one each in Akron and Canton) but I have not been to the Canton one in years (used to have fun there in the old days) and never the Akron club. Wish I could be more help, but its been slim pickins in this area as well since the restrictive laws passed during the previous decade.

The latest reports that describe the circumstances (belt, chair, closet door, partially clothed, etc.)are starting to sound like autoerotic asphyxiation, which would be an accident, not suicide. Wouldn't it turn the discussion on its ear if he was trying to get off rather than check out?!

"After that thing done ate a hole in them britches, I'm not sure I want to go anywhere near it! ~ Larry the Cable Guy

What you need is a site that posts reviews of clubs where experienced patrons give strong hints regarding extras and the like. Wait!! I KNOW OF SUCH A PLACE . . .