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11 years ago
Shroom on Slick-dude. Shroom on!
And report back 'bout your conversation with Ray and the Lizard King. I bet they'll have a press conference.
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11 years ago
I had a Jenny recently. I dig the normal names a lot more than the freaky or stupid names. Sometimes less is more.
The sometimes less is more philosophy doesn't apply to tits though...
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11 years ago
JIT my brothers. Jizz in trou is far cooler than JIYP.
And then there is JOSF (jizz on strippers face) and of course JOAPMWYTASTE...
Yep, it is the ol' jizz on a plate mix wit yogurt then ask stripper to eat.
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11 years ago
But what are you smokin' gatorbro?
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11 years ago
Juice is receiving a vision from the LAWD!!!
He ate 5 buckets of the Colonel's XXXtra KRIS-pay, dived into the world's largest creme brûlée, and drank a case of Jolt cola. Then he went clubbing. At this point he convinced three of the stripper to join him in his sweat lodge.
The mixture of extreme physical duress from the fried chicken -- or "fricken" as Juice calls it -- combined with the suger and caffeine from the creme brûlée and Jolt and triggered some sort of connection to the infinite when combined with the stripper glitter and sweat lodge.
This summoned the Archangel Gabriel, who spent the next three hours DPing the strippers along with our bud Juice.
I'm sure the Juiceman will share his revelations with us tomorrow. They will make the Bible, Qur'an, and Bhagavad Gita look amateurish. We will see the birth of a new gospel!!!
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11 years ago
Juice man...don't worry 'bout abusing yo' powers. The LORD does not give his prophets more power than the can handle. You've got an archangel watching over you my brother. Don't worry 'bout nothing my friend!!!
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11 years ago
FAAAAAAAAARRRRRTTTTTTT!!!!!
FFF-FFF-FFFAAAAAAAAAARRRRRTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!
Man...Juice still beats me at this. Must be the Colonel's XXXtra KRIS-pay he lives on!
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11 years ago
Crispin Glover would be coo-el if he stayed in character as the dude he played in Back to the Future.
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11 years ago
But "just in time" is boring compared to "jizz in trou". Unless, of course, you jizz in yo' pants when you make deadlines. That would be a JITJIT my brothers!
And tittyfag, I forgive you for the intemperate words. Le Roi de la danse is not my hero. I just think we should all strive to be like him in one important way. By not giving a shit whether others think the stuff we like...such as the ol' jizz in trou...is cool or not. Living you life that way is coo-el!
I'm also concerned about Frere Draques. He is seriously losing it. I test whether he will try to PM me and he can't resist. I challenge him not to respond and he CAN'T resist. Fuck...I thought it would take longer for him to break down and engage. I would have put money on Drac resisting for 6 hours at least. But that crazy SOB broke down in less that that. Makes me concerned.
I call upon my TUSCL bros to stage an intervention. Maybe he'll get help if we ALL tell him he needs it. Imagine that you are injured in his home town. Do you want to die 'cos the nurse is all distracted jackin' it to Dougsta's latest criticism?
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11 years ago
Dougsta my bro...J-man no b a spamma.
He b unique in the history o' TUSCL. He b a prophet o' da LORD.
Testify J-man...TESTIFY!!!!
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11 years ago
Can we pick fictional characters? If so...Tony Stark. That would be frickin' coo-el.
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11 years ago
Right on bros... Smoke that 420 from 420 in the PM to 420 in the AM. Nothing like watchin' nekkid chicks while u b stoned!
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11 years ago
Tell the truth...how many of you want to say shizzle like "I came in last in this contest"?
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11 years ago
Whatcha smoking Mr Slick-dude?
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11 years ago
PS. DrPhil. WTF?
At least pick a coo-el sock puppet name. Like "Dana Scully" or "The Black Dragon of Infinite Sorrow" or "Gumby" or "George W Bush".
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11 years ago
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motorheadFat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life
Right on Motörhead-dude. You da man!
When the Pillsbury Doughdude gets really turned on, like when he sees a baker's dozen Krispy Kremes (or the XXXtra KRIS-pay Kremes), he is swingin' some SERIOUS pipe!
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11 years ago
And hot women should be encouraged to show skin. Maybe thongs and shizzle like that. Uggos can wear moo-moos.
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11 years ago
Personally, I'm hoping for a return to the fashions popular during the reign of Louis XIV.
Plus, everybody should use the word "shizzle".
Show some creativity folks. Go forth dressed like le Roi Soleil saying all sorts of KA-ray-ZEE AZZ shizzle. I bet Juice would be down for that. I can see it now...300 lb coo-el dude walkin' into KFC ordering le poulet XXXtra croustillant wearing some sort of super groovy outfit. Don't get cooler than that!
We ain't fucked jeri-dude...not if we follow my simple prescription!
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11 years ago
Playerdude, that shit is either an attempt to transgress the narrow moral boundaries of bourgeois society or REALLY fucked up. I'm going with the latter. Live your life like a Velvet Underground song if you must, but leave the puppies out of it.
I'm now going to put down my iPad and return to the ongoing reenactment of "Sister Ray" in my living room. I need something wholesome to get that link out of my minds eye.
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11 years ago
And I won't ask y'all to admit whether you're more like pervo #1 or #2... Might cause some of us to reevaluate our lives and we wouldn't want that.
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11 years ago
MojoDude... I'm afraid this may be high dimensional of a nut to crack (or bust, as the case may be).
What if a person spends $250 for nothing but a lap dance with a good ol' JIT but really enjoys it 'cos the chick he got it from is a major hottie. Now compare that dude to a jaded old fart who gets the BBBJCIMNQNSQWERTYUIOP OTC for the same price but it is with some trailer park girl that looks like a Klingon and the whole experience was so disturbing that he has to put a bag over HIS head so he doesn't see ANYTHING!!
In my book, Pervoid #1 was the winner and Pervoid #2 the loser. But #2 got objectively more for his money. He just feel like he has to wash for days to feel clean again after the experience...
So you say let's factor in looks... Perhaps we even weight the girls appearance in a non-linear manner. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder my friend. Indeed, imagine the scenario above but flip the girls. But let's say Miss Qo'noS (the Klingon home world my brothers) really appeals to Pervoid #1 whereas the beauty really can't get much interest from Pervoid #2 'cos he is SO JADED. Perv-a-roo #2 is still the loser in my book!
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11 years ago
@ilbbaicnl-dude... One of the amazing things in life is that there is nothing so twisted that it can't be twisted just a lil bit more. The GFI part is just friggin' hi-LAR-ee-OUS (if seriously twisted)
@gawkin-dude... True dat...this shit is seriously messed up. But seriously, our bud Juice is a major dude with half a heart that will tell you straight that he loves women. And he seems to dig the ass smoothie. Perhaps some chicks dig making smoothies after being sodomized with a Colonel's XXXtra KRIS-pay drumstick. Stranger things, n'est-ce pas?
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11 years ago
Yeah Mondodude. You need to seriously mellow.
Drop some acid. It will feel like you are going 90 when you're actually doing 20. In high school I used to do that shizzle. Safest way to drive if you can avoid the Klingon patrols. They often cloak their patrol ships.
Warp speed ahead my friend. Warp speed ahead!
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11 years ago
I was visiting Jacksonville FL fairly often for a while anon one of the girls at the (now closed) Dollhouse would ask if I wanted dances from other girls and go get the girl for me if I said I did. Told me she didn't want me to think she just attacked me when I came through the door. Never seemed jealous. Not bad at all...
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11 years ago
Go support those single mothers igloodude. They need Mother's Day love too!