tuscl

Road R-R-Rage...

Saturday, May 11, 2013 8:20 PM
I like to drive fast, that much is true, and I hate it when turds clog up the left lane, that much is also true but I am a skillful driver and pride myself on the fact that I have never actually lost control of my emotions while driving a car...until last night that is. Coming home late (2am) last night and I'm pushing a pretty good clip down a 4 lane road in the burbs. It's a major artery so the 2 east bound lanes are separated from the 2 west bound lanes by a grassy median. The speed limit is 50 but I'm pushing 80 and there's no one around until I come up to a red light. There's a car in the left lane and as I come up the light changes to green so without stopping I down shift slip into the right lane and blow past the guy sitting at the light. A couple seconds later I'm back up to 80ish and back in the left lane when a car comes up behind me and jams me so I accelerate to about 90 and when I notice that he's still on my tail I slip into the right hand lane to let him pass, after all he was obviously in a bigger hurry than me. Except the ass-wipe doesn't pass me instead he yangs over into the right hand lane and rides my reds. Hey no biggie my turn is coming up so I keep it at about 80 and veer off to the right, down shift and hit the turn hard at about 70 and accelerate back up to 85 on the new secondary road heading south. 30 seconds later shit-for-brains is back on my tail. This goes on for another 30 min and now I'm pissed so I decided to see how fuck-face was going to handle a little personal attention and started fucking with him every time he got within 10 feet of my bumper I jacked the breaks hard and then accelerated. I must have made him panic stop 4 or 5 times in a row and then he darts in front of me and tries to do the same thing only I ain't playing so I peel off to the right onto a side street bang a quick youie and as I'm coming back out he's coming in. I hit the gas and get it up to 90 while he's trying to make a U turn and eventually he catches up to me again just in time to see me pull into a shopping center parking lot. The parking lot is deserted except for a couple stray's and I pull up next to a bank that's closed but you know that they have surveillance camera's running so if I get whacked at least it'll be on camera. Now just for reference I'm 6'2" 240lbs with a 34" waist and I wear a 54" jacket. I'm 52 but grew up playing combat sports and was an all American collegiate wrestler at a D1 college in the midwest so I'm not the type of person who is easily intimidated which is why I stepped out of my car and walked back to my trunk while the dickless-wonder pulled into the parking lot. Fuck-wad must have seen me cause he stopped up short about 20 yards away and I stood there waiting for him to do something--get out of the car, drive away, roll down his window and pop a cap into my stupid ass--something! Well I get bored easily and after about 2 minuets of waiting for the pulsating-pussy to do something I reached into my trunk and extracted an old fashioned Louisville Slugger and started to walk in his direction. As I got closer I noticed that there were 2 in the front seats but I couldn't tell if there was anybody in the back seat so I kept walking towards the car. As I got closer still (about 5 yards away) he revved his engine as though to say that he was going to run me over but I kept walking towards him. At about 10 feet he pulled a hole shot and darted forward and I stepped to the side while bringing the bat up to my right shoulder and as he sped past me I swung and made contact with his side view mirror on the passenger side of the car. BANG! CRASH! the mirror shattered and bits of plastic and glass showered me but I didn't get cut. He kept going and by the time I got back to my car he was long gone so I'll never know what crawled up his ass and died yesterday. When I finally made it home my wife gave me shit for coming home so late and I decide to leave that sleeping bear alone and copped a lame ass excuse to get her off my back. I slept like a fucken baby after that and woke up all refreshed and shit this morning. Have you ever had a similar experience? What would you have done in my place? What would you have done if you the pansy-assed-cock-sucker driving the other car? Color me curious...

30 comments

  • MondoGoGo
    •
    11 years ago
    That post was a little long...sorry! I guess I'm still a little keyed up. My apologies to the TUSCL-God and all of his minions...please forgive me.
  • crazyjoe
    •
    11 years ago
    I have had something similar happen. I took off thru a residential neighborhood had curvy streets and mostly dead ends. I knew the area well and they probably took a wrong to a dead end. I never saw them again. If I were in your shoes I may have done something similar if I was unarmed. Usually I have a piece on me...
  • crazyjoe
    •
    11 years ago
    Good story mondo
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    11 years ago
    Late at night? By yourself? No way would I have taken a chance on a confrontation unless I was packing and willing and able to use heat. I wouldn’t as much be concerned as to the other dude being a tough guy – but a coward that might shoot you in the face or even more cowardly, in the back – and there are a lot of those around these days. Discretion *is* the better part of valor – if we are smart about it – IMO.
  • SuperDude
    •
    11 years ago
    And if he had a Glock...you'd be dead in Detroit.
  • Alucard
    •
    11 years ago
    Hope you end up in jail for a long time for excess speeding. Maybe longer if you kill someone.
  • shadowcat
    •
    11 years ago
    Yes I did have a similar experience way back in the 70's. I was traveling on I-5 south to San Diego. The ass wipe wouldn't get off my ass no matter what I did. Speed up, slow down, etc. I was starting to get a little panicky. I thought that he was probably drunk. As a last resort I pulled over into the emergency parking lane next to the center divider. Then the guys car stops in the middle of traffic and he gets out and starts running towards me. I start backing up. Just then the California Highway Patrol pulls up behind his car. He runs back to his car and the CHP pushed him into the center divider. I moved up and hollered at the officer. He came back over to me and I told him my story. He asked me to wait. He went back and gave the guy a field test and put him in cuffs. His girl friend/wife who was with him was pregnant. The officer came back and took my statement. I was contacted by the guys attorney several month later. It was going to court and he wanted to hear my account. I told him that I thought his client was drunk and trying to engage me in a speed contest and that is what I would say in court. I never heard anything further.
  • Dougster
    •
    11 years ago
    MondoGoGo: "That post was a little long...sorry!" Don't apologize, man. That was an hilarious fuckin' story. Thanks for posting it!
  • Clubber
    •
    11 years ago
    Not to that extent, but my family was in my daughters car when someone in a flatbed truck, in our rural area started messing with us. After making a left turn and we did as well, he stopped. I told my daughter to stop as well. Had he got out of the truck and tried anything, my son, daughter, and I had our pistols at the ready. Lucky he just pulled away. Turned out after I thought about it, I realized where he had turned off and saw the lettering on the truck. I knew who it was and where he was going. I knew him from out local watering hole. Next time I saw him there and my daughter was with me, we called him outside and confronted him. Denial at first then grudging admittance. I told him how luck he was not to have received a complimentary dose of 9mm and .40's. Turned white as a sheet. Still see him around and he tries to be Mr. Buddy, but I completely ignore him as if he WERE dead!
  • Jackmd
    •
    11 years ago
    Although I have never had a situtation go as far as that, I have: 1) pulled into police station parking lots ( one was close by), 2) started over a bridge that required a payment(kuckleheads don't usually have the cash to pursue) 3) pulled into parking garage that had a back exit, 4) showed the knucklehead just the stock of the shotgun behind the seat and finally 5) exited with the truck's tire iron. Funny thing about the incidents almost all of them had a wife or girlfriend in the car with them. One even had kids in the back seat. Go figure.
  • jackslash
    •
    11 years ago
    Drivers are crazy. I try not to respond to these idiots, although I sometimes have to raise my middle finger. Even if I was carrying my Glock, I would avoid a confrontation.
  • motorhead
    •
    11 years ago
    Yes - the guy was a major league asshole. But, and you're not gonna like me, but what the hell were you doing driving 80mph in a 50 mph zone? At 80 mph, your vehicle is going travel 80 feet just from time you realize you need to stop until you press the brake pedal. And another 300 feet or so of braking distance. And this is in ideal conditions. Dry road, driver not tired, not drinking. No matter how "skilled" of a driver you are, you can't defeat reaction time and physics. Drink 80 on the interstate is one thing - doing 80 on a suburban city street with stoplights is just plain stupid and dangerous.
  • JuiceBox69
    •
    11 years ago
    Mondo that is so juice crew aproved
  • Clubber
    •
    11 years ago
    motor, I was thinking the same thing. But didn't wish to tell the guy he was as big, if not a bigger jerk since he noted his "driving" style is common for himself.
  • Experimental
    •
    11 years ago
    Its a good story but I'm kind of surprised your "driving style" hasn't gotten you into RR situations before. The fact you admit to being an oldie but keep a bat in your trunk kind of tells me you maybe left some details about the incident and your RR history out. Like I said though, it was an entertaining story so...good job on that.
  • txtittyfan
    •
    11 years ago
    Had all of the elements of a 2 am'er without the shots fired. What a foolish end to an evening.
  • zipman68
    •
    11 years ago
    Yeah Mondodude. You need to seriously mellow. Drop some acid. It will feel like you are going 90 when you're actually doing 20. In high school I used to do that shizzle. Safest way to drive if you can avoid the Klingon patrols. They often cloak their patrol ships. Warp speed ahead my friend. Warp speed ahead!
  • Otto22
    •
    11 years ago
    Those of us who drive at more normal speeds (let's say no more than 10 mph over the limit) never know what to do with the drivers who want to go 30 over the limit. I can be passing a truck while going more than 75 but less than 80 and some guys are flashing their lights at me to get out of their way. WTF?
  • MojoDojo
    •
    11 years ago
    Ok so I had to change out my nick name but it's me and I appreciate your comments immensely. A couple clarifications are in order... First and perhaps most importantly I haden't had a drop of alcohol to drink in any form Friday night (long story) Second it was 2:30am and the roads were pretty much deserted so collateral damage if something went wrong was virtually impossible. Third the roads I was on are designed to accomodate communters in the subburbs outside Washington DC and are wide, well lit and don't have turns that exceed 10 degrees of radius. You wouldn't know it by the incident that I described above but I am actually quite sane and even though I admit I do drive too fast most of the time I dont rat race through traffic. I don't drive one of those tuner cars and look for kids to race. I tend to pick a lane aand stay in it for the long haul especially in rush hour grid lock. My primary driving rules are 1) be predictable and 2) don't do anything to adversly change another drivers speed or direction (obviously that doesn't apply to cars behind me in traffic). All of that having been said I am appreciateave of the comments and agree with most. In retrospect it was an exceptionally foolish thing to do. I should have simply waited for him or them to get bored and drive off. That would have been a better solution than getting all jacked up on "testosterone" and acting the fool. And as far as the bat goes I don't have a conceal and carry permit so no gun in the car, I have a knife in the car too but its primarily there incaase I gotta cut my way of the seat belt or break a window to eescape so I didn't grab it but my bat, well he's a friend and an insurance policy cause you just never know who's going to try and fuck with ya. Anyway I thought y'all might think that the incident was entertaining and frankly I feel lucky to be able to say that nothing much came of it except a shatered sideview mirrior and a pretty accelerated heart rate.
  • shadowcat
    •
    11 years ago
    So is that why you had to change your name?
  • MojoDojo
    •
    11 years ago
    Naw, fucking Google ratted me out and now I gotta do some damage control... To answer your next logical question...Yes I do know what a fucking PL I am...(hangs head in shame)
  • Clubber
    •
    11 years ago
    This seems like a, "Hi, I'm MojoDojo, and I'm an alcoholic." moment. :)
  • MojoDojo
    •
    11 years ago
    Amen brother ^^ "Adversity is the first path to truth." -- Lord Byron
  • goodsouthernboy
    •
    11 years ago
    Having lived in the metro DC area for 8 years, it's actually pretty common in some places to go 20 or 30 over the limit just to keep up with the flow of traffic. It sounds excessive until you see the roads and how low the limit is set. LE probably wouldn't have that same opinion at 230 am but I get understand. That said, no way would I get out if my truck for something like that, even if I were carrying. Depending on the state laws, he could have (legally) killed you for coming at him with the bat.
  • sinclair
    •
    11 years ago
    It sounds like you smashed his side mirror off near a bank's surveillance camera. You should have just called the cops at that point. It doesn't matter how big you are or where you wrestled at if you don't have body armor. Nowadays, almost everyone packs a heater. Don't bring a baseball bat to a gun fight. My state does not allow concealed carry, but I still stay strapped.
  • minnow
    •
    11 years ago
    Yeah, I hate those left lane hogs who don't understand that left lane is for passing, not travelling. I'm assuming that the guy you blew by at the stoplight was the same guy who literally stalked you. Like a prior poster, there's a few missing pieces. I, for one, find it hard to comprehend anyone doing 80 plus on a secondary road for 30 MINUTES without encountering a cop, much less another stoplight. A good "live and learn" story. My thoughts on this would be that anyone impulsive/crazy enough to chase after someone as obsessively as this guy did would be someone impulsive enough to shoot you.
  • jerikson40
    •
    11 years ago
    Mondo, Mojo, whatever, I hate to say this, but dude, you are a complete fucking asshole. Seriously. Now you can come up with all kinds of excuses to justify acting like a complete fucking asshole, but that doesn't change the facts. And yeah, the other guy was equally asshole. But that doesn't change the facts either. It's best right now to accept that you are a complete fucking asshole for doing something like that, and decide that maybe starting today you will no longer be a complete fucking asshole, okay? And stop looking for all of you buddies who are equally assholes to make you feel better about yourself. All of this shit just to make you feel cool, and like you're a man? Dude, that is seriously fucked up.
  • sharkhunter
    •
    11 years ago
    Hospital bills are really expensive if you get injured for some reason. I like to stop and think, is this a..hole worth the possibility of some expensive hospital bill or my car getting wrecked? If the answer is no, slow down, let the a..hole pass and keep on going. He obviously has his own problems. Just about every time I see someone following me late at night, it's a cop. Fortunately, I don't usually have anyone follow me. One time I slowly sped up from about 55 up to about 67. He turned on his blue lights and I was like oh crap. I told him he was following me for miles without passing and his lights were in my eyes. He let me go with only a warning.
  • sharkhunter
    •
    11 years ago
    One time I encountered a crazy drunk driver following anyone going near the speed limit. I was wondering why this guy was following two cars only going about 45 to 50 mph in a 55 zone. This guy wouldn't pass you. I eventually slowed down to only 45 to 50 and this guy still was on my tail, until another unlucky driver whizzed past me and he took off in hot pursuit. Most of the time it is deer and the police you have to keep an eye out for where I live.
  • sharkhunter
    •
    11 years ago
    This crazy driver was following people closely on a divided highway even when you slowed down to 10 under the speed limit late at night with no other cars on the road. Psycho was the word I was thinking of. It was the first time I had someone follow me who wasn't the police.
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