discussion comment
15 years ago
Been a clubber for virttually all my adult life but only the last rew years a regular here. I would now miss that as much as I would miss going to clubs. It's a rare treat to converse with people who share our fascination/fixation/whatever with SCs and can admit it here.
discussion comment
15 years ago
1) I want to spend less, visit less and drink less.
2) But I will seek out more quality time and try to set up more private parties for some of that quality time.
3) I will avoid the drink hussle and I will be more discriminating about exchanging phone numbers with dancers.
discussion comment
15 years ago
When your escape becomes more routine and habit, yes you're addicted.
But to what?
Maybe you're addicted to getting off and the strip club is just the enabler! The hobby is fun until you can't manage it's various components:
money, time, focus on other priorities, emotions, etc.
discussion comment
15 years ago
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minnowAny place that interests me.
If you're at a BTLAD club and you obsess about whether she's been served real or watered down alcohol, buy her the drink at the bar and call a special brand for the liquor. They can't water down everything. This way you get to see the bartender retrieve the bottle from the shelf.
When the bartender uses bottles from the "well" to mix a dancer drink the odds are pretty good that it will be watered down.
Other giveaways it's a fake drink:
--calling it a generic cocktail
--giving something a "house" name
--many late-shift exotic fruiity concoctions are also usually fake.
discussion comment
15 years ago
Hmmm--
Re the iTit: it gives new perspective to whether you want to be an early adopter.
discussion comment
15 years ago
I would have no problem about the ethnicity of any club. But I am always mindful of potential neighborhood-focused cultural biases. Be comfortable, be respectful and spend like you would anyplace else and everything should be OK. Emphasis on comfort and respect.
discussion comment
15 years ago
Excuse me--t h r e a t e n e d. Thought I fixed that!
discussion comment
15 years ago
We clubbers have rights too. So every time our liberties and those of club owners are thretaned like this, ownership should make it financially painful for cash strapped cities to pursue such foolishness by tying things up in court, forever, if possible. And we should support them --not by getting involved in any debate about the morality of clubs or rights of patrons--but by sending "letters to the editors" of local papers that point out the financial waste and pandering of these efforts. We make that point and shift the focus away from morality to common sense. If we can't do that, we shouldn't complain about clubs closing.
discussion comment
15 years ago
I just don't like the idea of putting so mich of my personal life out there and making it available, even with all the access controls in place. In an eraa of obsession with losing privacy of financial and medical information, some seem to have no qualms about sharing other stuff. How ironic.
discussion comment
15 years ago
Whatever the true story is, it might still be cheaper than a dating service!
discussion comment
15 years ago
Could also be how you connect to the Internet and the time of day you're logging on. My cable connection speed in my home office is reasonably fast but will vary with neighborhood usage. During the day I notice no slow ups, but connections and downloads slow after 3 p.m. when school kids arrive home and then again after the dinner hour when everybody seems to be using the Internet.
discussion comment
15 years ago
I consider a stage tip like a handshake. It's saying hello. $1 is fine. Anymore and you're and you're actually turning a tip into a reward.--but for what? If you can't answer that question then stick to the dollar tips, they work fine unless some local custom makes you out to be a monster for doing otherwise. But even then, you can always deal that that false impression later. Observe, but always be your own self.
discussion comment
15 years ago
Asked to leave permanently by an owner over a disagreement over liquor. Ban was ended eventually.
discussion comment
15 years ago
Dancers never surprise me anymore. I've seen pretty much everything in their backgrounds. I've known:
-a young dancer who just got a full ride scholarship to a private college
-a dancer who went t Indiaa for college credit
-many nursing students
-too many dental assisting/medical assisting students (too many because those jobs pay so little for these girls who want to find something permanently rewarding fdinancially!)
- a writer
- an American sign language for th4e deaf interpreter
- a dancer who sent into sales because she had that consultative selling quality
-but also far too many dancers who were...dancers trying in vain to figure something out.
- and the best of all--smart ones with a plan who live beyond the moment who eventually get on to better things.
discussion comment
15 years ago
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Book GuyI write it like I mean it, but mostly they just want my money.
Book Guy, as Gatorfan says, the strip club is therapy. If fact, if you want to feel better, find a dancer who needs help and be psychologically supportive to her in addition to etc. etc. That should give you a boost.
But if you're always down, even with counseling, try joining a "men's group" to talk through things and you'll see you're not the only one with issues, But you'll also find ways to deal with things. Your counselor should be able to help you find a men's group.
In a way, TUSCL is it's own men's group (no offense to the other participants), but you need to try something else.
discussion comment
15 years ago
Didn't want to comment, but finally I had to say something. When you make it rain by you, you make it dry for for everybody else. The dancers will likely flock to you like bees to honey just in case something will also splash on them. If you feel it's necessary to get this type of swarming attention, maybe you have some hidden psychological problem. Did you mother leave your diapers on too long once when you were a baby? Seriously, since I now probably offended you, not for meanness but to get your attention, give this some thought before your next storm cloud. There are many other ways to have fun.
discussion comment
15 years ago
Itr's pretty regular at the places that I frequent most. A few places will let the dancer skip her turn if she's in a 'VIP. At one place, another girl might simply take her turn in the rotation to let a co-worker make some money. This seems to depend on nhow many dancers on on shift. If it's a small club and only a few dancers on shift, everybody has to take their turn. Of course, if you can go at an odd hour when there are no other customers, who cares if anyone is on stage. That's also happened to me.
discussion comment
15 years ago
I have a life beyond clubbing and that includes a sex life. That's the case with many of us, but obviously not all of us. So what?
I initially notice a dancer because for some reason she must stand out from the crowd, from my point of view. But beyond that she has to show me she will be a fun person to be with in some fashion. Whatever else happens after that--happens.
As far as how one gets to this point, I think you just stumble into it after a while.
discussion comment
15 years ago
My closest friends know that I'm a clubber. And my closest buddies who enjoy this as much as I do know how much fun I have and I share freely with them as I do here as appropriate. But beyond that, I don't talk about this hobby and how much I participate in it.
discussion comment
15 years ago
I'm beginning to get bothered by "mainstream" portrals of strip clubs on TV shows like this or in movies. No two clubs are alike and any one-sided depiction is going to create the wrong impression somewhere. The last thing I want to do is be out on on a date watching a movie and have the strip club scene come up and have to deal with all the questions it raises.
Player is right, the stereotyping of the clubs and the customers is not good for our hobby. As for legalizing prostitution, don't hold your breath.
discussion comment
15 years ago
Have a dancer who will give me HJs and FS but no BJs, go figure. Everybody's got their own inventory. If this gets annoying, just move on, or else it could become a long seige.
discussion comment
15 years ago
Hey, we all started with eye candy and then gravitated to contact and then extras. There's a time and mood for everything. For me, it's mostly extras, but some heavy contact will be OK at other times. But there are some times when I just want to relax, have a drink and look at the eye candy.
And Casualguy makes a good point. there's also the party factor. I have to admit that sometimes I go to my favorite cluobs looking for high energy, vibe, fun atmosphere, etc. and it's not always there. But in those cases the contact and extras are usually satill available, but pat ot the mix is missing when thei party factor can't be filled at the right times.
discussion comment
15 years ago
What does she respond to? You've probably learned something about that during your relationship. Build your strategy around that. Being the psycho you describe, I don't think sarcasm or disrespect is the way to go, she might really flip out on you (beyond what she has already).
Then I would take steps to "disappear" from her life, e.g. change phone numbers etc.
One thing I would definitely do is a public records search on her (assuming you have the rigbht name) to see what legal problems she's been through and what part's of the "system" might be of some help you you as this plays out. For example, has she ever been arrested/for what, is she on probation, does she have "Children's Services" issues, does she have a high risk drivers license, does she owe money to the court, to a bank, to a collection agency, etc. Knowledge is power.
Do some networking with a psychologist; find out what drives her and what's possibly coming next in this crazy wind down.
Good luck with everything, stay safe.
discussion comment
15 years ago
Shadowcat is right. We spend countless hours, visits and dollars building relationships at our favorite club. Something like that is hard to replace. I know because I had to go through it. My longtime regular club was quite a place. I knew the owners, the staff and my favs. It's a good feeling to be recognized when you walk in. I don't expect that tyupe of un experience to ever be du-0licated. When the opwners sold, the top level comraderied ended but the staff and dancer and relationships remained up to the end which came about due to a settlement to avoid eminent domain.
Seeing this coming started I working on a new regular relatiolnship in tandem with my old one. But again, I spent hundreds of $$ in the processs of doing this. Not that I wouldn't have spent it eventually, but that it was accelerated to build the new bridge.
So a closing is not a great thing to contemplate if you've made an investment.
discussion comment
15 years ago
Definitely the mainstream factor, but also related to the influence of different club environments.