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jackslash

Posts

2,904 posts by jackslash

Front Room

Overheard in the Strip Club

Dancer 1 to Dancer 2: "I'm sick of these guys I go out with. They're all the same. They're just after one thing--money for drugs."

jackslashElite Reviewer15 yrs ago 3 8

Front Room

What do Dancers like about You?

We've had a lot of discussions about what we like in dancers, and so I started wondering what dancers like about us. As for me, the two things dancers find most attractive are my rugged good looks and my…

jackslashElite Reviewer15 yrs ago 1 41

Front Room

Bitches Be Crazy

This is a real news story. I couldn't make this up. It's not just strippers--all bitches are crazy. Cops: Troy man fires gun after finding another man in bed with wife 5:44 PM, Jun. 9, 2011 | …

jackslashElite Reviewer15 yrs ago 1 6

Front Room

Major Credit Cards Accepted

At the club today I met a new 22-year-old dancer with dark hair and a nice rack. After one dance in VIP, she pulled down my zipper and started to suck. I had to restrain her because…

jackslashElite Reviewer15 yrs ago 1 12

Front Room

The Day after the Rapture

I had not taken seriously the prophecy of doomsday on May 21, and so you can imagine my surprise when I woke up today in heaven. Heaven, it turns out, is an infinitely upscale strip club, where the dancers…

jackslashElite Reviewer15 yrs ago 1 17

Front Room

"He's Old Enough to be my Grandpa"

Not long after I arrived at the club last week, a group of guys in their 20's came in and sat at a table near mine. I soon forgot about them as dancers began joining me for drinks…

jackslashElite Reviewer15 yrs ago 1 28

Front Room

Vegetariansim

Yesterday a friend of mine, who's become a vegan, lectured me on the health benefits of vegetarianism. He even claimed it improved your sex life. How many of you guys are vegetarians and does anyone get improved performance?…

jackslashElite Reviewer15 yrs ago 1 14

Politics

Donald Trump's Demand

Donald Trump has demanded to see Bin Laden's death certificate--the long form death certificate with raised seal.

jackslashElite Reviewer15 yrs ago 1 31

Front Room

The Cops are at the Club!

When I drove up to my club today, I saw two police cars in front, blocking the entrance to the lot, and some uniformed officers were escorting people out of the door. I decided the most prudent course…

jackslashElite Reviewer15 yrs ago 1 1

Front Room

A Non-Review of the Mitchell Brothers O'Farrell Theater

I was in San Francisco last week and stayed in a Union Square hotel. TUSCL told me that the Mitchell Brothers O'Farrell Theater was a nearby strip club with good mileage. But I also learned that the cover…

jackslashElite Reviewer15 yrs ago 7 7

Front Room

Why Didn't I Ever Have Professors Like This?

La Salle suspends professor who hired dancers By Jeremy Roebuck Inquirer Staff Writer A La Salle University professor has been suspended after reports that a recent lecture offered more in the way of lap dances than learning, colleagues said Monday. Jack Rappaport - who…

jackslashElite Reviewer15 yrs ago 2 5

Front Room

Charlie Sheen in Detroit

Q: Why is Charlie Sheen better than the Underwear Bomber? A: They both fly to Detroit, but Charlie actually succeeds in bombing. For a review of Charlie's performance: http://www.freep.com/article/20110402/ENT05/304020002/Charlie-Sheen-s-Detroit-show-gets-jeers-few-cheers-Fox-Theatre

jackslashElite Reviewer15 yrs ago 2 10

Front Room

Contaminated Drinks

I just found out that the drinks in many strip clubs contain dihydrogen monoxide. You should not buy any drinks until you are sure that this chemical is not present. Thousands of people die from dihydrogen monoxide…

jackslashElite Reviewer15 yrs ago 1 22

Front Room

Top 10 Qualities for an ATF

I was thinking about the qualities I look for in an ATF. These are the top 10 qualities I feel she should have. 1. Sense of humor 2. Intelligence 3. Sincere 4. Kind 5. Honest 6. Thrifty 7.…

jackslashElite Reviewer15 yrs ago 1 13

Front Room

I Don't Understand Strippers or Women in General

Okay, I thought I had become rather cynical in my old age, but then an incident occurs that makes me think I'm not cynical enough. I was sitting with a dancer I'll call "Candy", who I've become friendly with over the…

jackslashElite Reviewer15 yrs ago 1 28

Front Room

A Question about Japanese Nuclear Power Plants

Q: Why is the cooling system of a Japanese nuclear power plant like a stripper's boyfriend? A: Neither of them work.

jackslashElite Reviewer15 yrs ago 1 4

Front Room

Those Don't Count

Overheard in the strip club: Dancer 1: "I'm afraid I'll get pulled over some night for DUI. I've never been arrested." Dancer 2: "Me neither. Except for prostitution. And drugs."

jackslashElite Reviewer15 yrs ago 1 4

Front Room

Manscaping

A few weeks ago, after an OTC session, my dancer friend Delilah asked if I had ever thought about manscaping my private parts. I replied that I thought only gay guys did that. Delilah said that I was…

jackslashElite Reviewer15 yrs ago 1 29

Front Room

Thoughts on the Scottish Deerhound

A Scottish deerhound won the Westminster Dog Show, but when I heard this on TV I thought they said "beerhound." This got my attention because a beerhound would be more useful than a coonhound, a wolf hound, a…

jackslashElite Reviewer15 yrs ago 2 6

Front Room

Is the Waitress Starting Something?

I went to the club Tuesday to see my blonde fav. Three times, when my fav wasn't around, a cute brunette waitress hugged me, kissed me and pressed her boobs against me. I was nonplussed. She had…

jackslashElite Reviewer15 yrs ago 1 15

Front Room

Dancers' Requests for Gifts

The discussion about giving favorite dancers gifts for Valentine's Day reminded me of times when dancers have requested gifts. A busty blonde I liked once asked if I would pay for her to get a new boob job. And…

jackslashElite Reviewer15 yrs ago 2 11

Front Room

Why It's so Difficult to Communicate with Them

Last year I was talking to a dancer about some trips I had taken overseas. Me: "In May I spent five days in England." Dancer: "O wow! What language do they speak there?"

jackslashElite Reviewer15 yrs ago 2 12

Front Room

Euphemism-Free Zone

A young stripper with bleach blonde hair had agreed to meet me at my house next week for OTC activities. Me, explaining the advantages of the OTC experience: "You won't have to pay your tip out. I won't have…

jackslashElite Reviewer15 yrs ago 1 10

Front Room

Who Says Strippers Never have any Good Ideas?

Experienced Dancer to New Dancer: "My customer wants you and me to go upstairs with him for a threesome." New Dancer: "Don't you need three girls for a threesome?"

jackslashElite Reviewer15 yrs ago 2 5

Front Room

Overheard in the Strip Club

Dancer 1: "That customer over there is a real jerk. He wanted to fuck me in the ass for $200." Dancer 2: "Eewwww. That's really disgusting." Dancer 1: "Yeah, it sure is. I don't let guys…

jackslashElite Reviewer15 yrs ago 1 15
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