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The Day after the Rapture

Avatar for jackslash
jackslashDetroit strip clubs

I had not taken seriously the prophecy of doomsday on May 21, and so you can imagine my surprise when I woke up today in heaven. Heaven, it turns out, is an infinitely upscale strip club, where the dancers are all perfect 10's, the drinks are on the house, and the girls pay you if you let them give you lap dances. Extras are called necessities.

Sorry about all you losers who were left behind, but you have only yourselves to blame.

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Avatar for mmdv26
mmdv26

@jacks, no way! Are you both naked during the dances, hehe? Do they have a huge buffet that you eat at...or do you even need food in heaven? You gonna make the dancers pay you in advance...LOL? Don't get carried away with all that free booze - drink yourself to death up there, and they probably send you back here, hahaha!

Seriously tho, don't be a stranger...you stay in touch!

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Avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat

Oh Rapture! I miss read it as rape torture, so I passed.

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Avatar for steve229
steve229

Do they still have 2 for 1's?

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Avatar for vincemichaels
vincemichaels

I was in Heaven yesterday at Miss Kitty's in East St. Louis. LOL. It's not a fancy place, but Heaven doesn't have to be like Spearmint Rhino, does it??

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Avatar for Rod84
Rod84

Jackslash, are you sure you're not simply at FKK-Oase, near Frankfurt (www.fkk-oase.de)? Except for a couple minor details, it sounds like it (the girls, unfortunately, do not pay you for lapdance. Extras are for all intents and purposes a necessity, however, and at only $65/30 mins all-inclusive, they're a bargain, rapture or no). At the very least, indulging in these angels' charms is heaven on earth.

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Avatar for troop
troop

whoa jack! i'm here too!

i'm the guy with white shirt and halo. come on over, let's do a shot ;)

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Avatar for SnakePlissken
SnakePlissken

Ha, like anyone on this site would be taken by God to Heaven.

However, I'm sure we'll get VIP seating in Hell.

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Avatar for minnow
minnow

"Heaven doesn't have to be like Spearmint Rhino".... lol @ vm. For some true mongers, going to SR ( or most any corporate chain club, esp. DV) would be HELL. Lets keep this post a sticky with everyone posting their version of ideal club. Look for the pink site to have similar thread with ideal the exact opposite of ours............

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Avatar for gatorfan
gatorfan

The world is over and you are in hell right now accessing this

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Avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter

I think we all died and we're in purgatory and just don't know it. Just think we keep doing the same things over and over again. We keep going to strip clubs blowing a load of cash and hope things will be better next time. Sometimes I bet some dancers think I'm there to torture them. They ask me if I want a two for $30 and I say no. Then she offers two for $20. I think "where were you when I arrived here hours earlier"? Instead I just pause and say no thanks. Earlier in the evening one dancer asked me about dances. I just told her I waiting for the two for one. She said she could do that. I said how much? She said two for $40. I told her I usually got two for $30. Then she said ok, she could do that. I thought about it for a second and then said no thanks. I decided I wasn't really interested in her.

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Avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter

I read the guy predicting the rapture set up a multi-million dollar ministry based on his rapture prediction.

Some people actually believed him and quit their job and used up their savings and drove thousands of miles.

I wouldn't be surprised if he got left behind.

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Avatar for farmerart
farmerart

Another Canada-US disconnect here. I have no clue what you guys are talking about.

The only rapture I experienced yesterday was an explosive shit.

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Avatar for SnakePlissken
SnakePlissken

"Do they still have 2 for 1's?"

Yes Steve, but in Heaven the girls pay you double for the privilege of dancing for you.

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Avatar for troop
troop

farmerart

05/22/11 8:46 PM

Another Canada-US disconnect here. I have no clue what you guys are talking about.

^^^

art, you're neighbor heard about it.............

/d2.php

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Avatar for txtittyfan
txtittyfan

I used to ski in Purgatory.

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