The Day after the Rapture

jackslash
Detroit strip clubs
I had not taken seriously the prophecy of doomsday on May 21, and so you can imagine my surprise when I woke up today in heaven. Heaven, it turns out, is an infinitely upscale strip club, where the dancers are all perfect 10's, the drinks are on the house, and the girls pay you if you let them give you lap dances. Extras are called necessities.

Sorry about all you losers who were left behind, but you have only yourselves to blame.

17 comments

Latest

mmdv26
14 years ago
@jacks, no way! Are you both naked during the dances, hehe? Do they have a huge buffet that you eat at...or do you even need food in heaven? You gonna make the dancers pay you in advance...LOL? Don't get carried away with all that free booze - drink yourself to death up there, and they probably send you back here, hahaha!

Seriously tho, don't be a stranger...you stay in touch!
shadowcat
14 years ago
Oh Rapture! I miss read it as rape torture, so I passed.
steve229
14 years ago
Do they still have 2 for 1's?
vincemichaels
14 years ago
I was in Heaven yesterday at Miss Kitty's in East St. Louis. LOL. It's not a fancy place, but Heaven doesn't have to be like Spearmint Rhino, does it??
Rod8432
14 years ago
Jackslash, are you sure you're not simply at FKK-Oase, near Frankfurt (http://www.fkk-oase.de/FKK-Oase?Sprache=…)? Except for a couple minor details, it sounds like it (the girls, unfortunately, do not pay you for lapdance. Extras are for all intents and purposes a necessity, however, and at only $65/30 mins all-inclusive, they're a bargain, rapture or no). At the very least, indulging in these angels' charms is heaven on earth.
troop
14 years ago
whoa jack! i'm here too!
i'm the guy with white shirt and halo. come on over, let's do a shot ;)
SnakePlissken
14 years ago
Ha, like anyone on this site would be taken by God to Heaven.

However, I'm sure we'll get VIP seating in Hell.
minnow
14 years ago
"Heaven doesn't have to be like Spearmint Rhino".... lol @ vm. For some true mongers, going to SR ( or most any corporate chain club, esp. DV) would be HELL. Lets keep this post a sticky with everyone posting their version of ideal club. Look for the pink site to have similar thread with ideal the exact opposite of ours............
georgmicrodong
14 years ago
^^^^ ROFLMAO!
gatorfan
14 years ago
The world is over and you are in hell right now accessing this
sharkhunter
14 years ago
I think we all died and we're in purgatory and just don't know it. Just think we keep doing the same things over and over again. We keep going to strip clubs blowing a load of cash and hope things will be better next time. Sometimes I bet some dancers think I'm there to torture them. They ask me if I want a two for $30 and I say no. Then she offers two for $20. I think "where were you when I arrived here hours earlier"? Instead I just pause and say no thanks. Earlier in the evening one dancer asked me about dances. I just told her I waiting for the two for one. She said she could do that. I said how much? She said two for $40. I told her I usually got two for $30. Then she said ok, she could do that. I thought about it for a second and then said no thanks. I decided I wasn't really interested in her.
sharkhunter
14 years ago
I read the guy predicting the rapture set up a multi-million dollar ministry based on his rapture prediction.

Some people actually believed him and quit their job and used up their savings and drove thousands of miles.
I wouldn't be surprised if he got left behind.
farmerart
14 years ago
Another Canada-US disconnect here. I have no clue what you guys are talking about.

The only rapture I experienced yesterday was an explosive shit.
SnakePlissken
14 years ago
"Do they still have 2 for 1's?"

Yes Steve, but in Heaven the girls pay you double for the privilege of dancing for you.
troop
14 years ago




farmerart

05/22/11 8:46 PM
Another Canada-US disconnect here. I have no clue what you guys are talking about.

^^^
art, you're neighbor heard about it.............

http://www.tuscl.net/d2.php?DID=1060
txtittyfan
14 years ago
I used to ski in Purgatory.
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