discussion comment
12 years ago
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motorheadFat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life
This is one experience that I can share with strippers.
I once spent a night in the 'drunk tank' back in my much wilder youth - an experience I never want to repeat. My stomach still heaves at the memory of that foul communal cell redolent with the smell of body order, puke, shit, and bleach.
discussion comment
12 years ago
It was past time for the Cannonball to close. The place was truly disgusting. A never-ending supply of hot, willing dancers but appalling fixtures in the VIP and purely revolting bathrooms.
However, I did have some eye-popping experiences in that awful VIP that I will never forget.
discussion comment
12 years ago
I met a girl at Million Dollar in Misissauga who could do this. I was seriously annoyed the first time she did it - I was sure she had pissed on me. During the hour we spent together she squirted a half dozen times so she wasn't holding water in her vagina and I don't think any woman can piss 6 times like that in an hour. I dared to taste the liquid after about the fourth squirt and it had no urine taste (or smell). It was manual or oral stimulation that seemed to cause the squrting. The girl did it to herself first so as to show me her special talent. I ventured forth and did the same to her with my fingers and then got brave and did it to her orally. She did not squirt when we did the nasty.
Needless to say, this was a fascinating creature for ol' farmerart. I saw her many times and even brought her out to my farm for a long weekend. Besides her squirting talent this girl possessed the tightest pussy that Mr. Wood has ever entered and the girl was a very enthusiastic humper. Unhappily, she was also a moron and I just could not abide her inane chattering and outright stupidity.
@georg:
You know much more about female anatomy than I do. Where does this liquid come from? It must come out of the pee hole but from where exactly inside the woman's body?
discussion comment
12 years ago
steve, at the exploration camp pepper spray is available in all vehicles and on all rigs.
I could have used the stuff about 30 years ago when my Nodwell was charged by a cranky sow grizzly - easily the most terrifying experience of my life.
discussion comment
12 years ago
I keep a pipe wrench in the F-150.
discussion comment
12 years ago
@georg:
Alberta is definitely not hell, just the miserable SCs in this province.
I even like our cold winters out here; this old guy has energy like you wouldn't believe during the frigid winters. I slow down measurably during the summer.
discussion comment
12 years ago
@georgmicrodong:
I think I'll meet you in hell sooner than I'll meet you in an Alberta SC.
discussion comment
12 years ago
As always, I will be a shameless tout for Toronto. Better than Detroit IMO. If you make the drive from Detroit to Toronto, a rest stop at Nikki's Roadhouse outside of Woodstock, Ontario can make for a very 'interesting' rest stop.
A recent reviewer claimed that the infamous Cannonball Cabaret in Brampton is closing soon. At rush hour the Cannonball's VIP was a sight not to be missed. Think the wide-open Bogarts VIP X 20.
discussion comment
12 years ago
I wouldn't dare move in on you, rick. I would just sit back and take notes as I watched the master in action.
My game has certainly improved, but you compete in the major leagues; I am still serving my minor league apprenticeship.
discussion comment
12 years ago
No surprise to me that the Caps have perked up, steve. The Caps now have a good ol' Western Canadian shit-kicker in goal, Braden Holtby. He is from Lloydminster, border town on the Alberta/Saskatchewan line, prime red neck shit-kicker country.
Those kind of guys NEVER choke!
discussion comment
12 years ago
What's the matter steve? We doddering old crocks with our canes and Depends? A pretty harmless lot, I should think.
Though I must warn you about trojangreg out in Vancouver. Bad things can happen to your wallet when you hook up with that guy for a club visit.
discussion comment
12 years ago
@georgmicrodong,
Funny you should ask. I backed one of my goddaughters when she wanted to open an Orange Julius kiosk in a shopping mall food court. Those little kiosks are incredibly profitable in a high traffic location. The goddaughter paid back the $120k in just over 3 years.
A little tiny stand-alone 2-person kiosk selling just $4 hot dogs and $3 sweet drinks! A $4 tube steak with maybe $.25 worth of meat product and a $3 drink with perhaps $.10 of real fruit content? The profitability of fast food joints boggles my mind.
I know that you can't get a Timmies franchise for $120k. I think I will stick to my position in Timmies stock - currently trading right around its all-time high.
discussion comment
12 years ago
@steve229,
It is certainly true that I am not spending the same amount of cash in Toronto clubs. Toronto trips now are almost entirely business. The days of 8-clubs-in-one-day marathons are over for me. Last trip to Toronto my fav wasn't at the club so I was a naughty boy with a different dancer.
I will be trying to smooth over the resultant drama when I bring the fav out to Rancho farmerart for the May long weekend.
discussion comment
12 years ago
Uh, guys. My favourite Toronto area clubs are already brothels. If the Supreme Court lets the lower court's decision stand perhaps the Cannonball will upgrade its amenities. I purely hate those god-awful hard-ass wooden arm chairs in the Cannonball's VIP.
To be serious, it is not 100% certain yet that the Supreme Court will even agree to hear the appeal. Chatting socially with a lawyer in a bar last week this subject arose. The lawyer had read the Ontario court's decision and told me that it was an impeccable judgment and he could see no grounds for appeal.
I am sure that the Supreme Court of Canada will hear the appeal. Charter rights are involved in this matter and the big court always likes to be the final arbiter on issues of individual freedom in Canada.
Politics are part of this also. There is a new government in Canada now, a very conservative government that likes to meddle in certain areas of personal morality. I don't think that this issue is at the top of the government's to-do list, however. It strikes me that the Harper government is seeking this appeal more as a sop to the tut-tutting old grannies.
The Canadian populace is not rioting in the streets with anger in order to force the government to change prostitution laws. Education funding is the hot-button issue at the moment in many parts of Canada that is really making politicians squirm.
discussion comment
12 years ago
Now that I have my friend, Mr. Cialis, as a sort-of wingman I am always eager for at least two in an OTC romp of an hour or longer.
I can remember one two-bagger in the Cannonball in Brampton prior to hooking up with Mr. Cialis. But, ITC is otherwise one and done for me.
Prior to meeting Mr. Cialis, it could often be 'none and done' for ol' farmerart.
discussion comment
12 years ago
During a week-ender with a dancer at my farm I showed her how to drive the small tractor and cut the grass in the yard. The girl had an absolute blast tooling around the yard on the tractor pulling the mower.
The next time I went to use the tractor I discovered that it needed a new clutch!
discussion comment
12 years ago
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motorheadFat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life
I, too, am of the generation who remembers Levon Helm and all the other members of The Band, even before they took that name. I remember them when they were The Hawks as in Ronnie Hawkins and The Hawks. They also backed Bob Dylan in the 60s. The reason that this old Canadian oilman remembers The Band so well is that it was a Canadian group and, as such, received tremendous airplay in Canada. Levon Helm was the only American in The Band; all the other guys were Canadians.
During the 60s The Band did a great deal of scuffling in shithole Canadian bars, the sort of bars that I frequented back then. Unhappily, I never hit one of those bars during one of The Band's appearances.
I have been listening to one of their CDs as I type this. Right now one of my favourites is playing - "Life Is A Carnival".
discussion comment
12 years ago
Up north at the exploration camp 'crime against nature' is banging the male moose.
discussion comment
12 years ago
The girl was dancing in a strip club in Red Deer, Alberta. I was dressed in grubby clothes but packing a wad of cash in my overalls to buy a second-hand tractor. The girl was the first dancer I saw on stage when I entered the club. After she finished her set I went up to the stage to tip her and ask for lap dances. She flat out said 'No' I am going out to get something to eat.' I sat morosely through the sets of 4 other dancers before my lovely returned to the stage. After this set I tipped her a larger amount and asked again for lap dances. She gave me a weak smile and said 'Sorry, I have another client right now.' And upstairs to the lap dance area she went not to be seen until her next stage set. Like a whimpering puppy I sat at a table drinking virgin Caesars until her next stage set. After this set back to the stage I went with a $200 tip once again requesting lap dances. She looked down her nose at me with a disdainful sneer and said 'You just don't get it, do you? I would NEVER give you lap dances!'
Clutching the few remaining shreds of dignity to my broken heart I fled the club, drove home to my farm cursing myself and the dancer, and got outrageously drunk with three bottles of Bordeaux.
I have not seen the girl since that day and I can't get that vision of beauty out of my mind.
discussion comment
12 years ago
I am going to venture a comment or two even though I have never been married or even had any kind of a relationship with a woman other than a commercial sexual one.
That fact is the single great regret of my life. I really wish I had married and had a family. As I age the barren nature of my emotional life is more and more of a torture for me. You now have much of what I never had. Think long and hard before you cast it away and be brutally honest with yourself. Would you be experiencing the same anguish if this girl was NOT in your life?
As an aside, shadowcat is the 70 year old sexual athlete on tuscl. I am not quite at that age yet (63) and, though still happily active sexually with hot dancers, I am nowhere the sexual athlete that the old swordsman is proving himself to be!!
discussion comment
12 years ago
I never pass out girls' names, juice; but if the guy has written good reviews or is someone I know from discussions I will gladly pass on club info to him in more detailed manner than might appear in my reviews. Also hints about nearby hotels, directions, car rental info, etc.
discussion comment
12 years ago
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motorheadFat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life
Jeez, clubber, we have been doing that for decades in the oil patch and we have always spelled the word - 'FRACING'.
If you ever come up north and are a real good boy I just might arrange for you to fire one of the old fracing guns. As I recall, you are a guy who 'carries', aren't you?
discussion comment
12 years ago
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motorheadFat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life
HOLY SHIT !!
Who was filming my escapades all these years? Why did they call me Peter North? I swear, guys, that I didn't know that this was happening. Now that this stuff is out there, what the hell do I do?
vincemichaels and trojangreg (who have met me) can verify that I have retained the same goofy hair style and chiseled bod of my younger years when all these videos were surreptitiously filmed without my knowledge. A screaming dancer at Bogarts can attest to the gallons of cum I spurt with each orgasm. She had to go clean up the main stage (and the dancer on the stage at the time) when her vigorous HJ caused me to shoot over the VIP divider all the way to the main stage. She looked at me and said, 'Good thing it wasn't a BJ or FS; you would have killed me!'
I've got to hire a hot shot lawyer to get some payment for all these videos of me that have been sold over the decades.
discussion comment
12 years ago
I have to tell you, mal_hodgson, that in the clubs that I frequent dancers give me their numbers unsolicited, even clubs where I am a first time visitor. Granted, I usually go to well-known high mileage extras clubs but even in my notoriously lame Alberta clubs phone numbers are frequently passed to me. I think girls willingly hand out their numbers to any guy who spends serious money on them in the clubs. One dancer in Toronto even had business cards printed for potential OTC customers.
discussion comment
12 years ago
Like others, I can report this as being a common occurrence in Detroit area clubs, with boob fondling often being encouraged. Occasionally you will also see this in Toronto area clubs. There was this one dancer at the Cannonball with long, long hair who strutted through the club in the tiniest thong and heels, her long hair obscuring a perfect view of her breasts. When she stopped at your table or sat with you to solicit dances the hair magically disappeared from her chest.