Comments by BaddJack

Uber is cheaper than a hotel room, and safer than sleeping it off on a park bench. If that sounds like the voice of experience, well, it is because....

Hair? How about gel on my scalp??

THIS lawyer loves strip clubs...

^^PinkSugarDoll: when I got to 110 pounds, I described it as "I've lost a whole stripper."

I am only on one med, and I only take half a pill. For blood pressure. Heart is A-OK, after 5 bypasses. The stroke sucked, and my face still has some residual paralysis, but it sorta gives me a Stallone vibe. My left hand is back enough to type and play guitar for my grandchildren. The hip replacement was a godsend. Oh, yeah, and even after losing 127 pounds, I am still 5'10", 280. Still a 3X. Thanks for the congrats.

Wow. It is nice to see shadowcat. I was away a long time, and so few of the Old Timers are still around. Cheers. As far as fat AND attractive, I agree, it is possible. However, this hobby requires that the woman take her clothes off in front of strangers. I saw a dancer last Saturday night that probably tipped the scales at the same point as me. She told me to use her name: Cali, at Ace's Place in Springfield, Missouri. When I got up to give her three bucks, my buddy asked why in the world I would do that. I gave a simple answer: "Courage."

I came back after an absence of nearly ten years. I have already had to put a guy on "Ignore." Sheesh.

Sheesh. Back in the day, we had a jackass named greenvegas. No one liked him, and everyone put him on ignore. I left TUSCL for 10 years (lots of reasons), and I come back only to find that greenvegas had a bastard child with anger issues. I was planning on going to Arizona in March for Spring Training. I may pass, now.

I now qualify for Social Security. When I was in my 20s, I would see the pathetic "old" men on the step-up get all the hot poon' at Bachelor's III. I swore I never would be one of them. Now I AM one, and damn proud of it. The girls do get younger, but only in relation to my age. Oh, and it is nice to be back.

After a ten-fucking-year hiatus, I am back, and Shadowcat is still cursing. How the fuck are ya'? Oh, and NObody cusses like the Hillbillys here in the Ozarks.

"Honesty is such a lonely word. Everyone is so untrue. Honesty is hardly ever heard. " From Billy Joel to you, Steve. I am merely a vessel... Your Obedient Servant, Jack

Dance Team? Is that when the 2 girls get on stage and fake like they are doing each other? We do, of course, tip extra for lesbian action....

Surrender. Wear white skivvies, make a flag out of 'em and surrender. If she is gonna lie to her man while sucking YOU, and you are gonna feel bad about it? Surrender.

In the old days of real rock-em-sock-em strip clubs in KCK, there was a pair of Amazons at the old Bachelor's III. One was black, and her name was Venus. One was white--she was taller (6'2", maybe?)--and here name was Silky. We used to call it "Scaling Mt. Silky" to get VIP with her. She was a former college hoops star and was muscled and athletic. When she lap-danced, she called the shots. I was never intimidated, but she was certainly aggressive. Venus stayed so busy that I never "Scaled Mt. Venus." Good times.

Steve: will your fave rub pi all over herself? That would be sweet.

There is a funky little strip club in Baxter Springs Kansas that I plan to go to. There is a girl with milky skin, freckles, red hair and green eyes. She has promised to dress up in a plaid school-girl outfit and green thigh highs. I plan to get so drunk that one of the girls has to take me home. Your plans?

Tigers home opener sounds like EVERY KC Chiefs game. There is nothing quite as fragrant as a parking lot full of BBQ barf.

I am with Prim0. One in my size might honestly be called a Cock Ringlet.

SuperDude: "Because men suck." For. The. Win.

Old Guy Alert. You gotta be effin' kiddin' me. If she wants to see my junk in all of its "firm but no longer cold blue steel" glory, SHE will do the work. Cock ring, indeed.

Dat's right, bitch. Stay the FUCK offa my table.

I walk in with cash sticking out of every pocket, a C-note hanging from my zipper and a twenty stuck to the sweat on my forehead. Being old, ugly, fat and a Hillbilly to boot, it seems to be in my best interest.

Steve and Fenster: I am duly chastised. Forgive me.

Oh, and Stevie (Wonder, not Nicks): Be a man. Tanqueray is a girl's gin. Try Bombay.