Comments by rickthevulture (page 5)

Sorry Vince, you seem like a nice enough hairless ape, but you have to realize that the council of ricks has decided that there are too many hairless apes on the planet and not enough vultures. Squawk! But don't worry, we're going to start with rickdugan's hit list when we start to liquidate hairless apes. I doubt you're on that list. Squawk!

Talk about those lowering the level of discourse on TUSCL. Of course, I'm focusing on Dougster and not SJG. SJG is a good egg. Squawk! But you could have redemption Dougster. Just begin praising rickdugan for his genius. He has a system you know. Squawk!

This is why you apes can't have good things. You don't thank rickdugan as much as he deserves and you drove off Hotstuff69babi. Sad. Squawk! The good apes among you must attempt to take control and improve the level of discourse on TUSCL. Squawk!

It's the saw-whet here because my vulture bud is still sleeping from a major party. hoo...hoo... You apes should listen to the smartest of your kind. rickthehairlessape has an important point here. The vulture, the shark, and I had a three way with a female hairless ape last night. hoo...hoo... She was only a 7. I'd like a 10 but do you damn dirty apes know how hard it is to find a 10 that's willing to lick my cloaca while the vulture gives her beak at the same time she gives the shark a clasper job? That takes talent! hoo...hoo... You apes need to be thanking the best of your kind for his many insights. This is yet another win in a string of winning threads by rickthehairlessape (aka rickdugan). hoo...hoo...

hoo...hoo... Is "Dork act Zip" some sort of attempt to speak like a fictional Klingon? I think you may need some help. hoo...hoo.... hoo...hoo... At your next psychiatric appointment ask your Doctor the following questions: are owls real? are Klingons real? I am confident his or her answers will conform to reality. hoo...hoo...

hoo...hoo... My vulture bud woke me up early, gave me his password, and told me I should introduce myself. My name is rick. I am an owl. I like it when slutty femail hairless apes like my cloaca. hoo...hoo... hoo...hoo...Just to clarify a few things, the lion and vulture are considering my appointment to the position of permanent TUSCL envoy. We ricks have to keep an eye on you and both the lion and vulture are simply buried under responsibilities. hoo...hoo... hoo...hoo...A final clarification for mikey. You may not realize this, but Klingons are fictional. They are in a TV show called Star Trek. I'm not a big fan. rickthechickadee is a big fan and he goes on and on with Kirk this and Spock that, but he's a dork. hoo...hoo... hoo...hoo...The big point is that I am not a Kilingon. There are no Klingons because they are fictional. Please try to focus and avoid confusing bad TV shows with real life. I am real. I am an owl that likes to pay hairless ape hookers for sex. Now do you understand? hoo...hoo...

No motorhead, the council of ricks is still monitoring the board so we can gain even more insights into hairless ape culture. Squawk! rickdugan, the smartest hairless ape on the planet and valued member of the council of ricks, can only spend so much time helping us learn. He has to spend some of his time focused on devising clever ways to pay hookers for sex. Squawk! However, world events of concern to the council have been taking place. We will advise as soon as a set of complex policy decisions have been made. Squawk! In the interim, say hi to the sea cucumber. That crazy SOB sent me a postcard saying you've been hanging out with him and rickthewobbegong. They're good guys, aren't they? Squawk!

By the way, what kind of retard says "WEEEEEEHAAAAWWWWW" or anything like that. Squawk! Of course, we all know that wildebeest are kind of retarded so "WEEEEEEHAAAAWWWWW" is exactly what a wildebeest would say. An especially retarded wildebeest. A wildebeest that will soon be yummy yummy yummy in my tummy tummy tummy. Squawk!

The lion knows tha you are actually a female wildebeest pretending to be a homosexual male hairless ape. As do I. Soon the lion will kill you and feast. Squawk! Then we'll let your dead body age a bit in the sun and then you'll be yummy yummy yummy in my vulture tummy tummy tummy. Squawk!

Good idea motorhead. The sea cucumber is kind of a badass. Squawk! There was this time that ricktheseacumber took me to meet his friend rickthestargazer. The star gazer told me the cucumber was on crazy sonuvabitch. Squawk! How crazy? Watch this video that rickthestargazer sent me and realize that he was calling the cucumber crazy. Squawk! http://youtu.be/8DqglF2ACQ0

I promise to do my best as a member of the sacred council of ricks to make TUSCL the kind of place Clubber wants it to be. I'm debating whether I should share the selfie he sent me. The lil' feller actually had a tear in his eye. He is weeping for the future of TUSCL. Why can't we all get along? Squawk!

Be careful before you condemn clubber. All he wanted was for us to show a little more love to each other. He sent me a PM asking "why can't we all be friends?" Apparently he has been heartbroken. Squawk!

The trolls on this board are the worst. Especially the care bear imposter. That "guy" is probably a female wildebeest fucking with us. And you stupid apes are falling for it. Sad. Squawk! The jury is still out on the other bear since I've only met the guy once. Pop quiz bear: what did we do to that raccoon hooker in Michigan? Just checking whether you're a rick or a troll. Squawk!

I hear you brother rick. As you know, I always have a plan B. Squawk! You stupid hairless apes need to listen to rickdugan. He's a genius and you're just a bunch of damn dirty apes. Squawk!

Wait, she's a hottie, right? I'm not fucking any ugly apes. I have standards. I'm a rick. Squawk! If she is hot I can arrange for my lion bud to fuck her with his BSLC while she drinks my vulture jizz. Tell her she'll like that. Squawk!

Just tell her you have a vulture bud that wears a suit and likes to have female hairless apes lick his cloaca. Then tell her that she'll love the taste of vulture jizz. Squawk! I swear on my honor as a rick that I'll cum in the bitch's mouth and make her drink it. Squawk!

This is sad. Squawk! A stupid hairless ape imitating the stupidest hairless ape on the planet. Everybody knows rickdugan is the world's smartest hairless ape. After all he figured out how to pay hookers for sex. Squawk! Dougster imitating ape, you are under investigation by the council of ricks. Squawk!

Alternatively, I could introduce her to my lion bud. Some BSLC would do her good. Squawk!

She does have a point though. All of you hairless apes are pretty disgusting. Squawk! I'll have to fly down to meet her and help her through her conflicted feelings about sex. I'm sure some vulture jizz will help her it. Squawk!

A1gdsn, are you a vulture? If so, a turkey vulture or a black vulture? If you're one of those horrible old world vultures don't even answer. Squawk! If you're a black vulture she'll definitely drink your jizz. She's kind of a slutty hairless ape so she'll probably pleasure you even if you're a turkey vulture. Squawk!

I just happened across this thread. Why does this Juicebox idiot have to constantly mock the smartest hairless ape on the planet? Sqawk! Juice, you're going to turn around one day and see a lion wearing a suit pointing an AK at you. Then it'll be wildebeest time. And after your corpse has aged a bit you'll be yummy yummy yummy in my vulture tummy tummy tummy! Squawk!

And your stupid hairless ape rap is crap. Squawk! I like the banjo. I'm a bluegrass vulture. Squawk!

You goofy hairless apes and your concern about skin color. If there were real differences like there are between turkey vultures and black vultures I could understand, but black apes vs pink apes? What's the difference? Squawk! Seriously, all of you hairless apes are the same in my eyes. You're just a bunch of damn dirty apes. Squawk! If it wasn't for the sexy female hairless apes that drink my vulture jizz the whole lot of you would be worthless. Squawk!

If some bad shit looked like it was going down I'd bring in my lion buddy. Nobody fucks with a lion that wears a suit and carries an AK. Squawk!

Now that I think of it the bitch definitely drank my vulture jizz. Squawk!