What historical figure would you bone ....

Mary Magdalene

Traditional belief by Roman Catholics is that she was a hoe. Although the Eastern Orthodox Church and some other Christians do not believe this becsuse there is no direct evidence contained in the four gospels.

Da Vinci's portrait of her shows spectacular tits. Her face is a bit iffy, but given that she was probably a hoe, I'd like to believe she was a freak in the sack

Mrs. Obama. The first time I saw her when her husband first ran for Prez, I had an instant stiffie. Michele is mighty fine.

I never thought about it

Crazy Joe's Mother

For $50 bucks she gives the most sensual and sloppy blow job on earth

Since Joe is so Crazy he pimps his own mother out I believe Joe takes home $30 of that LMFAO

Thanks for your support juice!

Joan of Arc (once she became legal of course).

Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis would also be nice.

Anna Nicole Smith

Raquel Welch and Sophia Loren would also be entertaining to fuck when they were younger.

One thing I find difficult to understand is why so many of those damn female wildebeest like to troll us by pretending to be homosexual male hairless apes.

Do you really think a sane hairless ape would want to post with a name like "txtittyfag" or "san_jose_gay"? Obviously, a lion, tiger, or bear would never use a name like that. We're too smart. That name was clearly born in the fevered mind of a little wildebeest.

So txtittyfag, just keep looking over your little wildebeest shoulder. Some day soon you'll see a lion wearing a suit pointing an AK at you.

ROAR!

As for the OP's question, I'd like to go back in time and give the old BSLC to Jacqueline Kennedy while JFK watched us. She was hot and that guy needed to know his place. He was good for a hairless ape but there is a universal truth:

lion > tiger > shark > bear > vulture > snake > bonobo > gorilla > hairless ape

So a really great hairless ape is maybe in the range of gorilla or bonobo. But we cats are better than the best of you hairless apes.

ROAR!

The lion knows tha you are actually a female wildebeest pretending to be a homosexual male hairless ape. As do I. Soon the lion will kill you and feast. Squawk!

Then we'll let your dead body age a bit in the sun and then you'll be yummy yummy yummy in my vulture tummy tummy tummy. Squawk!

By the way, what kind of retard says "WEEEEEEHAAAAWWWWW" or anything like that. Squawk!

Of course, we all know that wildebeest are kind of retarded so "WEEEEEEHAAAAWWWWW" is exactly what a wildebeest would say. An especially retarded wildebeest. A wildebeest that will soon be yummy yummy yummy in my tummy tummy tummy. Squawk!

I;m thinking Delilah, Samson;s girl

Dana Plato, doggie style.

Lola Montez

SJG

Catherine the Great! This Empress was a known slut . I'm not sure I could have competed with the horse, though. fascinatinghistory.blogspot.com

Lucrezia Borgia Elizabeth I of England (the virgin queen) Marie Antoinette