Sex on the Beach: Don’t Bother!

Jul 7, 2019, 3:33 AM

Seaside sex is often depicted in films and in travel brochures as if it were your wet dream come true.

You might spend a lot of time and effort scoping out the perfect romantic spot, an isolated beach cove with crystal blue waters, limestone cliffs and palm trees swaying in a gentle breeze. You can bring some fine wine, assorted cheeses and grapes and a large blanket to lie on.

Don’t bother!

I’ve tried.

No matter how carefully you planned, sex on the beach will never live up to your expectations.

The damned sand gets into EVERYTHING!

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comments (11)

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MackTruck6 years ago

Rite

twentyfive6 years ago

Sex on the beach = sand in the coochie

ATACdawg6 years ago

....and therefore, pain of the penis!😟

Muddy6 years ago

I haven’t done it yet I still gotta try it

reverendhornibastard6 years ago

Muddy9,

Still gotta try it?

Good luck!

You might want to invest in a large tube of Neosporin. You’re going to need it.

4got2wipe6 years ago

Brilliant post reverendhornibastard!

Cristobal6 years ago

My only attempt at sex on the beach was a miserable fail, yes, the sand gets every where and it hurts.

The beach is a great place to hang out, enjoy the view, and get get in mood but not a good place for the actual deed.

Subraman6 years ago

Totally disagree. I banged my CF in the VIP at the Hot Beaches strip club in Newport, and we didn't get sand anywhere

NJBalla6 years ago

Never done it,and ive heard the cons, but my ideal situation is setting up a tent and going at it in the middle of the night.

AtAboy6 years ago

More than once, I lived blocks from the beach as a teen. The go to spot for us horny teens was under the boardwalk. There are ways to keep the sand to a minimum. However, have had some encounters that had to stop because the sand became too much. Wouldn’t do it as an adult when I can now rent a hotel or own a home to use the bedroom. But it was definitely a great place to sneak off during adolescent years.

rh48hr6 years ago

I've always wanted to do it but was never able to pull it off. Was going to try it on my honeymoon, but we could not find a secluded enough spot to try.

Had a dancer tell me it's not all that it's cracked up to be.