Women in the Clergy?
reverendhornibastard
Depraved Deacon of Degeneracy
REUTERS - (Santa Monica, California) The Holy Roman Catholic Church has not yet lifted its ban on women in the clergy. Nevertheless, a maverick priest in Southern California has already ordained four of them. Father Les Dewette, the renegade pastor of St. Anne’s Catholic Church, is facing criticism, censure and possibly even excommunication by Vatican authorities. Despite this, he remains nonchalant, saying he plans to ordain several more female priests in the coming weeks.
As Reverend Les Dewette explains, “The Catholic Church is in crisis. Attendance is dropping all around the globe. We have a desperate shortage of male clergy that has only worsened since we officially began discouraging pedophilia and stopped openly using it as a recruitment tool to induce horny young men having trouble getting laid to enroll in a seminary. Meanwhile, we have all of these women, some of them with marvelous jugs, clamoring to become priests.”
Father Les Dewette carefully lit his pipe, sending a cloud of Borkum Riff smoke billowing up towards the ceiling. Sitting back in his leather chair and holding his pipe in a scholarly pose he added, “I think priests with knockers is an idea whose time has come!”
https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1829
Father Les Dewette doesn’t take credit for the idea of admitting women into the clergy. When asked, he said he drew inspiration from Reverend Hornibastard’s ribald, iconoclastic congregation, Our Lady of Perpetual Lust” and its “Naked Guardian Angels,” the world’s only order of nudist nuns.
https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1830
Father Les Dewette applauds Reverend Hornibastard’s marketing genius.
“Our Lady of Perpetual Lust is packed on a nightly basis. Its Sunday ‘services’ draw huge overflow crowds. In one fell swoop Reverend Hornibastard doubled his pool of potential clergy and vastly improved his attendance figures! Fucking brilliant!” Father Les Dewette gushed.
Carlotta Fuentes, a long time parishioner at St. Anne’s says she doesn’t object to women in the clergy but has reservations about some aspects of the new initiative.
“I always thought it would be a good idea to have women priests,” Carlotta says, “but I don’t understand the need for their skin-tight, form-fitting, semi-transparent, spandex clerical vestments. What the hell is that all about?”
When asked whether his parish would also emulate the Naked Guardian Angels that are such crowd pleasers at Our Lady of Perpetual Lust, Father Les Dewette said “no” but promised that St. Anne’s would soon debut their own provocative all-girl gospel rock band, “Thunder Thighs.”
When pressed for further details including whether Thunder Thighs would perform totally nude, Reverend Les Dewette insisted they would not.
“Don’t be absurd,”!he said. “Of course the Thunder Thighs gospel rock group will not perform totally nude! St. Anne’s is a respectable Catholic Church! They will all be wearing their guitars or some other musical instrument! What kind of fucking retard are you?”
https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1838
As Reverend Les Dewette explains, “The Catholic Church is in crisis. Attendance is dropping all around the globe. We have a desperate shortage of male clergy that has only worsened since we officially began discouraging pedophilia and stopped openly using it as a recruitment tool to induce horny young men having trouble getting laid to enroll in a seminary. Meanwhile, we have all of these women, some of them with marvelous jugs, clamoring to become priests.”
Father Les Dewette carefully lit his pipe, sending a cloud of Borkum Riff smoke billowing up towards the ceiling. Sitting back in his leather chair and holding his pipe in a scholarly pose he added, “I think priests with knockers is an idea whose time has come!”
https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1829
Father Les Dewette doesn’t take credit for the idea of admitting women into the clergy. When asked, he said he drew inspiration from Reverend Hornibastard’s ribald, iconoclastic congregation, Our Lady of Perpetual Lust” and its “Naked Guardian Angels,” the world’s only order of nudist nuns.
https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1830
Father Les Dewette applauds Reverend Hornibastard’s marketing genius.
“Our Lady of Perpetual Lust is packed on a nightly basis. Its Sunday ‘services’ draw huge overflow crowds. In one fell swoop Reverend Hornibastard doubled his pool of potential clergy and vastly improved his attendance figures! Fucking brilliant!” Father Les Dewette gushed.
Carlotta Fuentes, a long time parishioner at St. Anne’s says she doesn’t object to women in the clergy but has reservations about some aspects of the new initiative.
“I always thought it would be a good idea to have women priests,” Carlotta says, “but I don’t understand the need for their skin-tight, form-fitting, semi-transparent, spandex clerical vestments. What the hell is that all about?”
When asked whether his parish would also emulate the Naked Guardian Angels that are such crowd pleasers at Our Lady of Perpetual Lust, Father Les Dewette said “no” but promised that St. Anne’s would soon debut their own provocative all-girl gospel rock band, “Thunder Thighs.”
When pressed for further details including whether Thunder Thighs would perform totally nude, Reverend Les Dewette insisted they would not.
“Don’t be absurd,”!he said. “Of course the Thunder Thighs gospel rock group will not perform totally nude! St. Anne’s is a respectable Catholic Church! They will all be wearing their guitars or some other musical instrument! What kind of fucking retard are you?”
https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1838
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43 comments
Best of all, the racy church services and sexually explicit religious sacraments are protected under the First Amendment as the free exercise of religion. Consequently, they will be immune from prosecution for violation of laws concerning public lewdness or prostitution.
The generous “contributions” of the faithful will be tax exempt!
As we all are.
If there is a god up there, he is a colossal fuck up and a weak manager.
A sensible god trying to preserve his integrity as creator and master of the universe wouldn’t have all these idiotic, money-grubbing televangelists with bad haircuts representing him.
Lots of break away groups do claim hands on chain of bishop ordination, and they do ordain women.
Like here, Order of Mary Magdalene.
http://gnosticsanctuary.org/lineage.html
SJG
Pretty soon the priests will all be hanging with their tattoo laden bitches and hoes and having parties where five or six priests run a train on a bitch.
They don't engage in sex tourism though.
And nothing wrong with running a consensual train...
A Priest has to take a vow of celibacy. Until recently that allowed prostitutes and p*d*f*l***.
But he also has to take a vow of obedience, and that means never ceasing to preach about the Good Family. And the one sermon a Catholic Priest must always be ready to give is the "I Love My Mother Sermon."
But at least people can see, that the most important thing about Catholic Priests is that you must NEVER LISTEN TO THEM.
Now with Protestants, people do not seem to understand this. Protestants actually listen to their clergy, and they believe that their churches are not build entirely out of lies and hypocrisy. So then there is no hope for them.
SJG
It is way past time for the RC church to throw off this anachronistic practice, as well as the ban of women in the priesthood.
A nice collateral benefit would be a lot fewer pedophiles involved in the priesthood.
But I still don't say that lifting the celibacy requirement will reduce the amount of p*d*ph*l**.
Rather, just being honest about what the church teachings are, and about why people place so much trust in Priests, will change that.
I also think that celibacy has drawn in lots of priests for the wrong reasons, people who take a vow of celibacy then spend their lives preaching about the Good Family, no good.
But I also don't think Protestantism is a good model to follow. It is one thing to have celibates preaching about the Good Family. It is another thing to have clergy trying to exemplify it. Both ways horrible, both ways amounting to child exploitation. But filled with lies and denial.
Alice Miller has written that in Germany 60% of those in prison over sex offenses are the sons of Lutheran Clergy.
The entire edifice of rules and attitudes about sex in the Abrahamic Faiths needs to be carefully scrutinized.
People say that in Latin America, 2/3rds of Catholic Priests secretly are married. Not a real secret, but they don't flaunt it.
This has posed a problem for the hierarchy, so JP2 ended up appointing Jesuits to be Bishops. Of the 4th vow, he would say, "I release you from you vow."
Such a case is Argentina's Jorge Mario Bergoglio.
SJG
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5e7WC8xK…
SJG
Chastity, Poverty, and Obedience is one of the biggest scams ever invented.
SJG
SJG
SJG
So Gnostics were persecuted. Most of what we know today about Gnosticism comes from its detractors, Church Fathers hunting down heretics and writing about them.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Against_He…
SJG
This is challenging and very good:
https://www.amazon.com/Gnostic-Mysteries…
Good video here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i63rHV-n…
SJG
We otherwise have the writings of the Church Fathers and the Neo-Platonists.
But said Church Fathers were against the Gnostics.
An enigmatic figure is Clement of Alexandria, sometimes seen as Church Father and Anti-Gnostic, sometimes seen otherwise.
SJG
Other apocrypha is voluminous, both New Testament and Old Testament. But most people don't really assign that much importance to it.
Of specifically Gnositc texts, there is the 1945 Nag Hammadi find. There are earlier partial versions of the Thomas and Mary Magdalene Gospels.
Then there is Pistis Sophia.
There is the Corpus Hermeticum and the Emerald Table.
Then there are the Anti-Gnostic Anti-Heretical writings of the Church Fathers. And then Clement of Alexandria is one enigmatic figure.
Then there are the writings of the Neo-Platonists. Some of these are also Church Fathers.
Then there is Pseudo Diyonisius. He is now accepted to have been an influence on John of the Cross. And some say that because the Church did belatedly accept John of the Cross that it has accepted Hermeticism.
Sometimes the lines between Heresy and Orthodoxy and the line between Gnosticism and Orthodoxy are very blurry.
Clement of Alexandria is enigmatic. That John of the Cross had sources connects him to Kabbalists and to Hermeticism.
Of the Cathars we have nothing except for the transcripts of interrogations performed by persecutors.
We have records of the purge of the Knights Templar and of the accusations made against them, and some of it seems to have come from things learned from the Islamic Assassination cult known as Nizari. Their current king is one of the richest monarchs in the world. Marco Polo was the first westerner to have written about the Nizari.
Augustine of Hippo had been a Manichean.
We also know a little about the Sabiens at Harran Turkey, possibly the origin of the Emerald Table and the Corpus Hermeticum.
The Yazidis may have been the original worshipers of Shatan, which might be connected to the Egyptian Set, which may be the original source for our Satan.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yazidis
SJG
But the Nizari come from Shia. Their thinking though is more like the Suni Sufi Mystics.
SJG
SJG
Gee. I didn't know about that affliction before that post..... 😮
(Above was strictly satire. No actual GACAs were harmed in this post.)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ordination…