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Front Room
6 years ago
Avatar for reverendhornibastard
reverendhornibastard
Depraved Deacon of Degeneracy

The Ultimate Happy Meal

Although their food would be more appropriately used to fatten cattle, McDonalds certainly knows how to sell crappy food to children. McDonalds is now changing gears as it prepares to roll out its new “Ultimate Happy Meal” targeting adults around the world who have poor impulse control and even worse taste.

The Ultimate Happy Meal features six mouth-watering, hot buns dripping with special sauce but lacking any sesame seeds. Customers are encouraged to manhandle the seedless buns while licking them, shoving their meat between them and ultimately adding their own seeds.

tuscl.net

According to McDonalds, the Ultimate Happy Meal will only be sold to customers who are 18 or more years old as verified by a government issued photo I.D.

The Ultimate Happy Meal has been successfully test marketed in Las Vegas, Bangkok and Johannesburg where sales were reportedly “brisk.”

McDonalds shares are up nearly 4% in pre-market trading.

comments (10)

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Avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
•
Avatar for reverendhornibastard
reverendhornibastard
•

Those are some very happy meals, Shadowcat!

Avatar for Muddy
Muddy
•

Lol I’m buying!

Avatar for FishHawk
FishHawk
•

I think you can get those meals with some nice melons as an appetizer

Avatar for ATACdawg
ATACdawg
•

And no calories for the consumer!! The perfect diet meal! 😁

Avatar for Clubber
Clubber
•

bastard, I don't think it often that Mickey D's "...sell crappy food to children." To their parents, yes.

In any case, I do wish there was one close to us!

Avatar for herbtcat
herbtcat
•

I think I know that chick on the bottom. Nice to know she's transitioned well into her new Casual Dining career. :p

Avatar for reverendhornibastard
reverendhornibastard
•

Icey,

WE can get these meals for free, but McDonalds is marketing the Ultimate Happy Meal to cretins like YOU on the assumption that, for a change, you’d enjoy a meal like this that doesn’t taste like last month’s left over tuna casserole and wasn’t crawling with insects.

Avatar for reverendhornibastard
reverendhornibastard
•

IceyLoco,

“And as far as being Cretan, yes my DNA results came back with some Greek....”

A clever riposte!

We done, Icey!

As for being Greek, I must confess I always assumed you were Polish.

Avatar for reverendhornibastard
reverendhornibastard
•

Icey,

These are the sort of Polish people I had in mind when I thought you might be Polish:

youtu.be

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