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The Ultimate Happy Meal

Avatar for reverendhornibastard
reverendhornibastardDepraved Deacon of Degeneracy

Although their food would be more appropriately used to fatten cattle, McDonalds certainly knows how to sell crappy food to children. McDonalds is now changing gears as it prepares to roll out its new “Ultimate Happy Meal” targeting adults around the world who have poor impulse control and even worse taste.

The Ultimate Happy Meal features six mouth-watering, hot buns dripping with special sauce but lacking any sesame seeds. Customers are encouraged to manhandle the seedless buns while licking them, shoving their meat between them and ultimately adding their own seeds.

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According to McDonalds, the Ultimate Happy Meal will only be sold to customers who are 18 or more years old as verified by a government issued photo I.D.

The Ultimate Happy Meal has been successfully test marketed in Las Vegas, Bangkok and Johannesburg where sales were reportedly “brisk.”

McDonalds shares are up nearly 4% in pre-market trading.

Comments

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Avatar for Muddy
Muddy

Lol I’m buying!

Avatar for FishHawk
FishHawk

I think you can get those meals with some nice melons as an appetizer

Avatar for ATACdawg
ATACdawg

And no calories for the consumer!! The perfect diet meal! 😁

Avatar for Clubber
Clubber

bastard,
I don't think it often that Mickey D's "...sell crappy food to children." To their parents, yes.

In any case, I do wish there was one close to us!

Avatar for herbtcat
herbtcat

I think I know that chick on the bottom. Nice to know she's transitioned well into her new Casual Dining career. :p

Avatar for Icey
Icey

You can get those meals for free. fuck buying them lulz

Avatar for reverendhornibastard
reverendhornibastard

Icey,

WE can get these meals for free, but McDonalds is marketing the Ultimate Happy Meal to cretins like YOU on the assumption that, for a change, you’d enjoy a meal like this that doesn’t taste like last month’s left over tuna casserole and wasn’t crawling with insects.

Avatar for Icey
Icey

A home made meal is better than fast food. With fast food, odds are you'll get the crusty old meal that's been sitting around too long.

Avatar for Icey
Icey

And as far as being Cretan, yes my DNA results came back with some Greek....

Avatar for reverendhornibastard
reverendhornibastard

IceyLoco,

“And as far as being Cretan, yes my DNA results came back with some Greek....”

A clever riposte!

We done, Icey!

As for being Greek, I must confess I always assumed you were Polish.

Avatar for Icey
Icey

No, but thank you for thinking of me as part of the nation that gave us Chopin and Madame Curie...

Avatar for Icey
Icey

Those aren't Polish, regardless, P4P isn't like eating a happy meal.... its more like pag pag in the Philippines....

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