tuscl

The Ultimate Happy Meal

reverendhornibastard
Depraved Deacon of Degeneracy
Although their food would be more appropriately used to fatten cattle, McDonalds certainly knows how to sell crappy food to children. McDonalds is now changing gears as it prepares to roll out its new “Ultimate Happy Meal” targeting adults around the world who have poor impulse control and even worse taste.

The Ultimate Happy Meal features six mouth-watering, hot buns dripping with special sauce but lacking any sesame seeds. Customers are encouraged to manhandle the seedless buns while licking them, shoving their meat between them and ultimately adding their own seeds.

https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1554

According to McDonalds, the Ultimate Happy Meal will only be sold to customers who are 18 or more years old as verified by a government issued photo I.D.

The Ultimate Happy Meal has been successfully test marketed in Las Vegas, Bangkok and Johannesburg where sales were reportedly “brisk.”

McDonalds shares are up nearly 4% in pre-market trading.

15 comments

  • shadowcat
    •
    5 years ago
  • reverendhornibastard
    •
    5 years ago
    Those are some very happy meals, Shadowcat!
  • Muddy
    •
    5 years ago
    Lol I’m buying!
  • FishHawk
    •
    5 years ago
    I think you can get those meals with some nice melons as an appetizer
  • ATACdawg
    •
    5 years ago
    And no calories for the consumer!! The perfect diet meal! 😁
  • Clubber
    •
    5 years ago
    bastard,
    I don't think it often that Mickey D's "...sell crappy food to children." To their parents, yes.

    In any case, I do wish there was one close to us!
  • herbtcat
    •
    5 years ago
    I think I know that chick on the bottom. Nice to know she's transitioned well into her new Casual Dining career. :p
  • Icey
    •
    5 years ago
    You can get those meals for free. fuck buying them lulz
  • reverendhornibastard
    •
    5 years ago
    Icey,

    WE can get these meals for free, but McDonalds is marketing the Ultimate Happy Meal to cretins like YOU on the assumption that, for a change, you’d enjoy a meal like this that doesn’t taste like last month’s left over tuna casserole and wasn’t crawling with insects.

  • Icey
    •
    5 years ago
    A home made meal is better than fast food. With fast food, odds are you'll get the crusty old meal that's been sitting around too long.
  • Icey
    •
    5 years ago
    And as far as being Cretan, yes my DNA results came back with some Greek....
  • reverendhornibastard
    •
    5 years ago
    IceyLoco,

    “And as far as being Cretan, yes my DNA results came back with some Greek....”

    A clever riposte!

    We done, Icey!

    As for being Greek, I must confess I always assumed you were Polish.
  • Icey
    •
    5 years ago
    No, but thank you for thinking of me as part of the nation that gave us Chopin and Madame Curie...


  • reverendhornibastard
    •
    5 years ago
    Icey,

    These are the sort of Polish people I had in mind when I thought you might be Polish:

    https://youtu.be/EbMfnxB-XL4
  • Icey
    •
    5 years ago
    Those aren't Polish, regardless, P4P isn't like eating a happy meal.... its more like pag pag in the Philippines....
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