beguiled

Stripper keeps sucking the NOS out of the can before I can get her thong off.

You could let JS69 get you pregnant.

Wow, just checked it out. It looks like a Cosmo or Modern Mom magazine. We've been clubbing too long if SI chicks…

That's nice PD, now get in my lap.

With the way the original post is typed, I wonder who did her Moving and Packing?

A bikini barista just asked me if I have mommy issues.

2 minutes and 14 hours.

Do you pack fudge?

Great post PD. I always wonder what is said on the other side of the dressing room door.

Set up an hour VIP for Tuesday. Tell her to bring a ball gag, cat of nine tails, and a small strap on.…

You're going to fall in love and your dick will fall off.

No, you should fuck the daughter instead.

Be sure to dunk them into Listermint when you're done. That shit cures everything.

I eat stripper ass like I'm the Human Centipede!

Fuck her in the mouth!

I don't always drink a beer at a strip club (seattle) but when I do, it's a near beer.

Great discreet parking lot shared with The Doghouse Bar & Grill. Kittens has free admission until 7pm (one $5 drink required), you can…

I figure that I save $300 every time I do it myself. Winning...

show us your tits!

Hey, Ma! The meatloaf! We want it now! The meatloaf!
Ma! The meatloaf! Fuck!!

"Oh man, the things I would eat out of her ass... you have no idea!"

I heard that if you dunk your junk into Listermint, it would prevent STDs/STIs. I think it would cure smelly balls too?

I got a free boner today, thank you ladies!

Fuck her in the mouth. That'll shut her up.

George "the animal" steele, Iron Sheik.