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MILF Update

JohnSmith69

layin low but staying high

10 yrs ago · 1 min read

I recently had my first date with a very fuckable MILF. She's the only one that has turned me on somewhat. If she had been a stripper when she was 18, she would've been a DS. And her daughter is breathtakingly beautiful. I think that's what mom used to look like.

Three interesting facts. First, she's a lawyer. Second, she's older than me. Third, she kisses like a DS.

Will this be the one that I pop my MILF cherry with?

Replies (20)Latest

Profile picture for shailynn
shailynn
•

nope

Profile picture for shadowcat
shadowcat
•

Two lawyers fucking each other! This I gotta see. :)

Profile picture for DaOnion
DaOnion
•

Yep, I think this is the one.

Profile picture for beguiled
beguiled
•

No, you should fuck the daughter instead.

Profile picture for shailynn
shailynn
•

"Two lawyers fucking each other! This I gotta see." - that usually takes a lot of lube.

Profile picture for DaOnion
DaOnion
•

That's part of the reason this is the one. His subconscious is telling him if he screws the Mom, he'll get to know the daughter and have a shot with her eventually.

Profile picture for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69
•

S Cat, that's funny.

Onion, very insightful. You get me.

Profile picture for beguiled
beguiled
•

You're going to fall in love and your dick will fall off.

Profile picture for crazyjoe
crazyjoe
•

Right

Profile picture for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69
•

You're going to fall in love and your dick will fall off

That's ok. Happens all the time.

Profile picture for clubdude
clubdude
•

Mom and daughter tag team, you go John!

Profile picture for TheOne&Only
TheOne&Only
•

What does the acronym "DS" stand for, anyway?

Profile picture for jackslash
jackslash
•

No! No! Two lawyers having sex should be illegal. They might reproduce.

Profile picture for jackslash
jackslash
•

Q: What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention? A: The caterer.

Q: What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull? A: Lipstick.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100? A: Your Honor. Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50 A: Senator.

Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? A: Accountants know they're boring.

Q: What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed? A: A jury.

Q: Why did God invent lawyers? A: So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.

Q: What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle? A: The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.

Q: What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee? A: A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.

Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? A: A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.

Q: What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer? A: One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? A: After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and God? A: God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

Q: How are an apple and a lawyer alike? A: They both look good hanging from a tree. Q: How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer? A: She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna. Q: How does an attorney sleep? A: First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. Q: How many lawyer jokes are there? A: Only three. The rest are true stories. Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company. Q: What are lawyers good for? A: They make used car salesmen look good. Q: What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common? A: They're both extinct. Q: What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement? A: Not enough cement. Q: What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers? A: Skeet. Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad. A: Senator. Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer? A: His partners. Q: What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra? A: Taller Q: What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer? A: A Doberman. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar? A: The pronunciation. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? A: A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? A: The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles. Q: What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer? A: One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect. Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers? A: To practice. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? A: The lawyer charges more. Q: What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A: The tick falls off when you are dead. Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer? A: I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do. Q: Know how copper wire was invented? A: Two lawyers were fighting over a penny. Q: Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service. Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? A: Stick his bill up his ass. Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? A: Their lips are moving. Q: Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers? A: New Jersey got to pick first. Q: Why don't lawyers go to the beach? A: Cats keep trying to bury them. Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A good start! Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk. Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers? A: Professional courtesy. Q: What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? A: Not enough sand. Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? A: Cut the rope. Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer? A: Take your foot off his head. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure? A: The bucket. Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"? A: There was an empty seat. Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? A: An offer you can't understand Q: Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? A: From chasing parked ambulances. Q: Where can you find a good lawyer? A: In the cemetery Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo? A: A gigolo only screws one person at a time. Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? A: A vampire only sucks blood at night. Q: Why to lawyers wear neckties? A: To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins. Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster? A: When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance. Q: How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? A: Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant. Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? A: It might be your bicycle. Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention? A: The caterer. Q: Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt? A: Because deep down, they're really good people. Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons? A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever. Q: What do lawyers and sperm have in common? A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

Profile picture for Dominic77
Dominic77
•

@ Gammanu95 : check out the glossary --> tuscl.net

Profile picture for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69
•

I'm honored Jack. Thanks.

Profile picture for TheOne&Only
TheOne&Only
•

Rech, that was uncalled for.

Profile picture for TheOne&Only
TheOne&Only
•

Thanks, Dom, I didn't see it the first time.

Profile picture for twentyfive
twentyfive
•

Two lawyers fucking that's the definition of a cluster fuck

Profile picture for rick33
rick33
•

JS- If you have to ask- No Shadow - Happens every day - called a courtroom :)

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