Dancer is getting too possessive

avatar for Bandit5160
Bandit5160
South Carolina
I have enjoyed some great 30 minute VIP dances with a firey little redhead. She's really cute and has great tits. I love talking to her as well as getting dances from her where she allows lots of touching. But she's not the only hot girl in the club and she is really starting to monopolize my time. If she's sitting with me and I tip another girl, she'll make a comment about that girl like "she's me plus 30 pounds". I like a variety. But at the same time, I don't want to piss this girl off to where she'll stop giving me them great VIPs either. Why can't she move around some and let me do the same?

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avatar for SuperDude
SuperDude
9 years ago
You're part of her regular cash flow. She's not going let that go.
avatar for Bavarian
Bavarian
9 years ago
Keep on doing what you're doing. Spread that money around and you will keep her on her toes. I made the mistake of handing all control to a stripper by making her my only focus. I would only tip and get dances with her. In the end, she ended up taking me for granted and disrespecting me.
avatar for GACA
GACA
9 years ago
@Bavarian...well she was just following your lead by you disrespecting yourself first and foremost
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
9 years ago
Most of the time, I like to stick with a single girl for my entire visit, so it's usually not a problem for me. And when I do want to change girls during a visit, this is one of the huge advantages of SCing with buddies, I'll just ask a buddy to keep her busy for a while, that way she stays at the table and out of general circulation until I want to shift back to her again for a VIP.

Anyway, I tend to handle these things pretty consistently to my overall philosophy: 22 year old strippers don't intimidate me or control me, so I'm generally up front and direct, and I'm not remotely nervous about it. I have used something along the lines of, "I'd like to get a little variety with the other girls to warm me up, and then spend the rest of the time and VIP with you, it makes seeing you in the VIP more exciting" kind of thing. If she's crazy possessive, she'll get pissed no matter what, and that's a risk you'll have to decide you want to take or not, especially if you have reason to believe she's YMMVing you. But if she's not crazy, something like that works fine, I've used it a bunch of times: just set her expectations and be upfront, and emphasize she's the highlight of the trip.
avatar for rh48hr
rh48hr
9 years ago
She's trying to get her money off of you and not have to work anyone else. Why go to an unknown if she can get you to give it to her. As some of the others have said, if you want to get dances with others you'll have to let her know and deal with the consequences. She may even step her game up even more if she doesn't want to lose your money.

If she decides to move on from you is not a bad thing either. That's not someone you want to deal with regularly regardless of the mileage. In the long run she will use you and take all your money you could have been spending on finding a less possessive dancer.
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
9 years ago
As SD said, "You're part of her regular cash flow. She's not going let that go."

What likely WILL happen, if she continues to "monopolize" your time, is that she will be "cock blocking" you. Just keep on going as you are. You might slip in some snide comments of your own when she "she's me plus 30 pounds" you.

I am sure you or others can come with some great comebacks for you when she makes her comments.
avatar for vincemichaels
vincemichaels
9 years ago
Yeah, you can tell her, Wow !! You've been putting on weight !! What's going on? That will worry her and she'll run off to look at her "fat" self in the mirror. Do your thing with the other babes. When you see her again, whether it is the day you are there or the next time. Reassure her that she is just fine and let's do some business. Wahhlaaa !! You are in control again.
avatar for jackslash
jackslash
9 years ago
Tell her, "If I wanted one woman taking all my money, I would just get married."
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
9 years ago
^^^jack, with the win!
avatar for 4got2wipe
4got2wipe
9 years ago
"Tell her, "If I wanted one woman taking all my money, I would just get married." "

Ace!
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
9 years ago
I as talking to a stripper at my table and an old favorite walks up and tells her "He's my husband". Now that is getting possessive. :)
avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe
9 years ago
Jack....your awesome! Keep it up
avatar for IwillLapAdancer
IwillLapAdancer
9 years ago
It is weird how a stripper will have a stable full of guys she spends time with in the club, to the point of making me seemingly wait till she comes over like some kind of soft core cuckold thing, but gets upset when I stop waiting for her and spread my money around with a variety of girls. I stopped being any kind of regular to any of these girls after that bullshit was tried once. I go to the clubs when I feel like it and tip who I want. I have had plenty of sexual intercourse with hot girls, so I will sit back with a smile when a stripper tries to put me in my place. It seems a lot of the strippers like to have their cake and eat it too (aka GPS). I guess being in constant demand like strippers are, can distort their view of reality.
avatar for WetWilly
WetWilly
9 years ago
Time to begin negotiations for OTC.....
avatar for beguiled
beguiled
9 years ago
Fuck her in the mouth. That'll shut her up.
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
9 years ago
“... It seems a lot of the strippers like to have their cake and eat it too (aka GPS) ...”

In a nutshell !
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
9 years ago
-->" It seems a lot of the strippers like to have their cake and eat it too (aka GPS). I guess being in constant demand like strippers are, can distort their view of reality."

I honestly don't think this is always GPS or a distorted view of reality. A stripper who is already with one customer (who she wants to delight and not rush, just like you don't want her to rush you), has a second customer already waiting, and then you too? What's she to do? She's got to make a living, and she's got other guys already there. I get it that customer management is not easy for her, either -- every one of the customers waiting wants to feel special. I do think, though, that Management of Regulars is something that many strippers are particularly poor at, and it is truly a key to success. One of my favorite strippers does this: instead of ignoring me and letting me stew in my own juices, or coming by and saying "I'll be right there" when she knows she'll be at least another 90 minutes, she comes by and says, "I'm sorry baby, I'm already with a customer and have another waiting, I'll get rid of them as fast as I can because I"d rather be with you, but it'll be a while ... I'll understand if you see someone else today, and here's my number so next time we can make an appointment and I"ll stay clear for you." That is about perfect -- a no-bullshit "sorry, I just cant' get to you for a while" (along with some white lies about how all those other customers suck and she'd rather be with me), and then her number so she can make appointments and manage her regulars. It's absolutely brilliant, and I love strippers who do this.

I think it's all about finding a stripper who offers the kind of experience you're looking for. I might be perfectly happy with OP's crazy possessive girls, because my way of SCing, when I walk into the club I expect my stripper to be free (I'll have texted her beforehand), and I also expect her to stay with me my entire 3-4 hour trip, no dances for anyone else, and I expect some YMMV in the VIP -- and obviously, I'll pay her a fair price for this. So even if she's crazy possessive, what do I care, I want to be with her the entire time anyway; if I'm too much of a high maintenance regular for her, no-harm no-foul, I'll just find someone else. OP needs a different kind of strippers, who'll give him a bit more latitude to play but still deliver in the VIP.
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
9 years ago
Many of us suffer from NGS (Nice Guy Syndrome) where it makes it hard to say “no” to people particularly women – not necessarily b/c we are “intimidated” but more that we don't like to disappoint people or “not be there for them” (consciously/subconsciously) for lack of a better way to put it:

+ strippers know this and they use this card to their advantage – i.e. kinda make the PL feel kinda guilty – i.e. they do this on purpose or just b/c it comes natural to them as a woman

+ you are not doing anything bad by being w/ other dancers – and they (dancers) know-it – women in general just seem to like to play mind/psychological tricks/warfare; it's sorta their nature for a lot of them – dancers perfectly well-know most guys like to be w/ other dancers; so it's not a “shock” to them; they just want to play their cards so they can have your busine$$ all to themselves – it's not that they just want *you* to themselves b/c they “like you so much”; it's pretty much cutthroat salespeople competition

+ don't be mistaken – a lot of shrewd dancers are on the lookout for easy targets to add to their bottom-line – especially experienced dancers that have been at it for a while – so a nice-guy they can sorta manipulate fairly easily and spends well is a “SC golden egg” of sorts

+ it *is* often hard to brush off a dancer especially if she treats you well – but at the end of the day one goes to a SC for one to enjoy themselves and not for the dancer's enjoyment (and the dancers know this)

+ if a custy does not assert himself; it often just gets worse – I would say 90+% of the time you set your PL-foot down a dancer has no choice but to comply or else lose ALL your business (it's not as if she's the only game in town and she knows-it) – and IME; when you assert yourself often times it has the SC bizarro effect of the dancer actually treating you better whether b/c she realizes she can't manipulate-you or she does not want to lose your business; and in the end both parties will be happier when things are put in their proper place



Communication is the key to any “relationship” - you let her know politely and unemotionally that you like to enjoy the company of different dancers and that is what you come to the SC for – and also don't feel obliged to spend on her every-time you see her in the club as if it was some kind of obligation – if you feel like being with her that day; do-so – and if not tell her you want to be with other dancers that day – IME they end-up being ok with that since in reality they know that is how strip clubs work – IMO the worst you can do is keep being quiet and giving her all your $$$ AND control.
avatar for LDKisLife
LDKisLife
9 years ago
Ask her for her schedule and come during times she's not schedule.

My LDQ is THE BEST. Perfect fit, personality, energy, look and curves. She gives me what I want when i want it. I vetted through 20 other girls some with better faces or bigger asses, but she is my Queen of the Ring. I dont think of my SC experience, I think of her specifically assisting my LDK.

Though she is my franchise player, I have others on call on slower nights. If I see a new girl with potential, I'll give her a thorough tryout.

I have all if their numbers and know 4 of their schedules. I dont deal with busy nights but I'm a non extras person. LDK is all I need and security watch if they choose cuz im an exhibitionist too
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
9 years ago
papi--> "Many of us suffer from NGS (Nice Guy Syndrome) where it makes it hard to say “no” to people particularly women – not necessarily b/c we are “intimidated” but more that we don't like to disappoint people or “not be there for them” (consciously/subconsciously) for lack of a better way to put it:"

Papi, as you know, I have a different point of view on this. I think, most of the time, "I'm a nice guy" is the EXCUSE guys use for allowing themselves to get walked all over and, basically, acting like an intimidated little bitch. That's tough love, not criticizing the OP, we've all been there, and hell, dancers still manage to get over on me sometimes. But "nice guy" and "not let myself get walked all over" are two different things. You can have enough spine to set limits and express what you want, or otherwise stand up for yourself, and still be a nice guy, One does not preclude the other, they are different things. A nice guy says it with a smile, and words things so as not to hurt her feelings, or deceive her, or waste her time, but if you bend over and grab your ankles whenever a stripper wants to fuck you -- well, if you think that's being a nice guy, then denial is a river in Egypt.

Be nice, be friendly, don't hurt her feelings, but tell her directly: I'd like to do some dances with other girls too, but will still save the VIP for you (or whatever it is that OP actually wants).

Papi-->"Communication is the key to any “relationship” - you let her know politely and unemotionally that you like to enjoy the company of different dancers and that is what you come to the SC for – and also don't feel obliged to spend on her every-time you see her in the club as if it was some kind of obligation – if you feel like being with her that day; do-so – and if not tell her you want to be with other dancers that day – IME they end-up being ok with that since in reality they know that is how strip clubs work – IMO the worst you can do is keep being quiet and giving her all your $$$ AND control."

That, we agree on completely. This is a luxury activity for most of us, you have to enjoy it, and being nice but assertive and maintaining your boundaries is a must.
avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe
9 years ago
Kick her in the nuts
avatar for alabegonz
alabegonz
9 years ago
Yeah, this is an interesting situation. Sometimes, my attitude on how I will play inside the strip club varies on how HOT the dancer is. If I wanna bang her then I would play a straight guy game. If not, I would play I wanna see everyone and try out who will give me the best dance.
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
9 years ago
I've experienced the same thing. My favorite response is "if my wife can handle me seeing other women, so can you."

One got so bad one time that I essentially told her, "You can have *some* of my money, or *none* of it. Your call."
avatar for JamesSD
JamesSD
9 years ago
It's interesting, I've realized that compared to a lot of guys, I'm "Nice"... except when my money is involved. Then I turn into an asshole. I am a cold to salespeople. Don't get me wrong, I'm polite with my first "no thanks," but if they try to overcome my objections I'm not afraid to be blunt.

Anyways, this is a vaguely interesting topic: does one lose high quality service if one goes to other providers?

I think for most passing on her once or twice won't sour the well. It obviously depends a bit on the club, the talent, and her relative hotness. If she's not with you can she pull in plenty of cash? Or is it a choice you and making no money sitting on her phone?

At some clubs the dancers are very cliquish, and there's cutthroat competition at others. At the former clubs you're more at the mercy of how the girls run things, especially if there aren't several other good clubs you can hit. If there's true competition then you can leverage that to your advantage.
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