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7 years ago
Wait, what? Buying dances is a chump's game?? I should save back rooms until my pants are to come down??? These are *remarkable* observations! Why has no one ever said these things before?
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7 years ago
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shailynnThey never tell you what you need to know.
Wow, I guess I'm the odd man out here. I've seen Trainwreck, Inside Amy Schumer, and her Comedy Central and HBO specials and always find her funny. Politically she is as annoying AF -- but that's true of the vast majority of people in the entertainment industry. I don't expect my favorite politicians to act or do stand-up and I don't expect my favorite actors and comedians to have sensible political views.
And speaking as a fan of zaftig women . . . Amy Schumer is not "thick", she's FAT! I would probably not get dances from her in a strip club. Also, the promise of seeing one of her tits is not enough to get me to see her in Snatched.
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7 years ago
Good for you, rockstar! If we don't demand respect from them, they're certainly not going to show it on their own. Now report back to us when you return to the club and turn her down for a VIP :)
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7 years ago
Not that I would ever dare to compare myself with the Godfather, but I do tend to decide quickly on a VIP companion. With rare exceptions, my club visits tend to last an hour or two rather than all afternoon. At extras clubs I often choose my girlfriend du jour within my first 15-30 minutes and am gone within an hour. I tend to have one "club wife" (sometimes two) at each of the small number of extras clubs that I visit. The downside of having a club wife, of course, is that eventually she starts to take me for granted and the level of service declines. But until that happens, I enjoy the connection we have and the reliability of our interaction.
Today was an exception to my usual modus operandi. A TUSCL friend and I met at 12:30 at one club for free quesadillas, half-price beers, and some stage tipping and then headed to our real destination, a nearby club with an extras-friendly VIP room, where we stayed from 2 until after 6 just doing lots of lappers.
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7 years ago
I've seen and felt a few "gummy bear" implants. They really are remarkably real-looking and -feeling. The giveaway is that they're *too* perfect. When a stripper asks me if she should get a boob job, I *always* advise her not to, saying that most guys prefer smaller natural breasts over larger fake ones. (I'm not even sure that's true. but it certainly is in my case!) But if she does get them done, she should choose the "gummy bear" kind.
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7 years ago
I believe William Howard Taft was the fattest fuck of a President.
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7 years ago
^^^What WetWilly said.
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7 years ago
I'll say it again: nothing good happens in strip club parking lots! Video-game-playing, drug-using boyfriends drop off strippers, who look scary on their way to the dressing room, and who later go back to the parking lot to blow their dealers, who may or may not be their boyfriends . . .
Not to mention shadowcat's famous 2AMers!
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7 years ago
I'm a quick study. It took only 21 years and 9 months from the time I started clubbing (March 1994) until my first OTC date (December 2015). At that dizzying pace, maybe I'll do my first OTC threesome when I'm 83 :)
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7 years ago
I guess I'll just post some more bustaceous babe pics :)
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7 years ago
Who says you can't learn stuff from TUSCL? For the second time in as many days, I have learned a term: the Monroe is a piercing between the nose and lips, intended to look like Marilyn Monroe's mole.
The other new term (to me) was "bar fine", which I think no one outside hostess bars in the Philippines uses :)
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7 years ago
Acceptable piercings: ears, nipples, navel
Unacceptable: everything else
However, I made an exception for a girl with a pierced septum at one club because she was otherwise so incredibly hot (she reminded me of Dita Von Teese and in fact modeled herself on Dita) and gave wonderful lappers.
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7 years ago
22 = Clubber
29 = desertschlub
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7 years ago
I agree with shadowcat's point: If you see something wrong in a club's details, correct it! Founder can't possibly verify details of thousands of strip clubs across the country and around the world, so this site is only as accurate, and therefore useful, as we make it. I have often corrected details such as hours, dance prices, and even addresses when submitted reviews. Come on, guys and girls -- it only takes seconds!
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7 years ago
The review guidelines are clear: don't say anything about a dancer that could get her or her club in trouble! The only exception is that ROBs should be outed by name. Protect the innocent (who provide good service at the agreed-upon price) and expose the guilty (who don't) -- what's so hard about that?
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7 years ago
This thread has certainly veered off in strange and unexpected directions!
How many times can SJG say "I wouldn't tolerate you f2f" in the same thread? Cut him some slack, folks -- he's not playing with a full deck. Seriously!
Nina, though I'm basically on your side in your little tiff with gamma, it is picky to criticize his spelling of Schroedinger. Even Germans often substitute "oe" for o-umlaut if their keyboard lacks that character.
Larry, you and I have very different understandings of a shitty car!
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7 years ago
I would have taken a second look twenty-four years ago:
http://www.celebritymoviearchive.com/tour/movie.php/2841
Now, not so much -- she's 52! But in 1993 when she said those unforgettable words on "Seinfeld" -- oh yeah!
But Cara Rose is in an entirely different class of beauty.
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7 years ago
This is the reason I asked Founder to take down a review a while back. Though I didn't name names, I gave so many details about my visit to a small club on a slow day that an attentive reader could have figured out a lot. I was afraid that I had exposed my CF's oral fixation, but the next month she was as sweet and accommodating as ever, so my review was deleted quickly enough that it didn't do any harm. Whew!
TUSCLers: Unless she's a ROB, don't reveal an extras girl and her extralegal activities by name!
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7 years ago
Thanks, GoV! For many, many years she was my ATF stripper; she remains my ATF non-extras girl. Papi must be wondering how it's even possible to get 80+ sets of lappers over an 18-year period from the same girl!
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7 years ago
Fair enough, yahtzee. In my own case, I started the hobby in March of a certain year, met a favorite in August, and had probably gotten dances from her four times by the end of the year. I can think of at least three favorites over the years who have gotten me off ten times in the same year! I guess I have a high tolerance for repetition, at least the good kind :)
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7 years ago
I'm trying to wrap my brain around the idea that you're getting a second lap dance from a stripper for the first time ever! Though I like variety to some extent, I always have a few favorites at each club that I frequent. The record-holder in that regard was a dancer whom I met when she was 18 and got several dances from almost every year until she hung up the ol' G-string at 36. During those 18 years she danced for me at least 80 times! At that same club there are several other strippers that I've gotten dozens of dances from. I guess I'm not easily bored :)
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7 years ago
OMG -- I agree with SJG! It had to happen sometime :)
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7 years ago
I was asked this only once, about three years ago at a club with an extras-friendly day shift. She had done a bunch of lappers for me and asked me afterward if I would like to go VIP next time and whether I was a cop. I remember saying something like "I'm not a fucking cop. What kind of fun can we have in VIP?" and she answered "Anything but sex". When I asked for clarification, she said "You can't put your penis in me!" Thank you, Bill Clinton, for defining sex down in such a way that BJs, DATY, and their combination are not considered sex in VIP rooms across the land!
Sure enough, on my next visit we headed straight for the VIP room and it was on: DFK followed by a wonderful BBBJCIM. This continued for a few more club visits until she quit stripping. Sadly her life has not remained cop-free. She told me her real name and I never completely got over her, so I did some online research on her recently and found *four* arrests just in 2016 for possession of heroin or syringes.
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7 years ago
"They're real and they're spectacular!" -- Teri Hatcher as Sidra on a famous episode of "Seinfeld"