discussion comment
12 years ago
Fuck Canada
discussion comment
12 years ago
1. STDs
Thats right, our old friend the venereal disease. Do you like to piss fire? Get excited when a white secretion painfully flows out of your cock? Enjoy having a Q-Tip inserted into the head of your penis? If you answered yes to these three questions, then a stripper is the girl for you.
2. Strippers are for fun, not relationships
You dont take the cow home from the steakhouse, why would you take a bitch home from the strip club? Because I was drunk is the only acceptable answer. Sober up, tell her to take out the garbage, and lock the door behind her.
3. No one wants other guys touching their boobs
Fucking a stripper is like buying a used condom. It is unhygienic, dirty, and if your friends find out you did it, they will never let you have a sip of their Mountain Dew again. Did I mention its dirty?
4. Strippers are not responsible
Ever seen a rich stripper? Of course not. Even though they make $1,000+ a night, they always seem to need more money. What happens to all that money, you ask? Like the Tootsie Pop question, the world may never know
However, if you said cocaine that is as good a guess as any.
5. Your mom will not be proud
No woman wants to see her son dating a whore. Its barely past Mothers Day, you fuckers.
Go tell your mom you love her and you will never date a stripper. Nothing could make her happier.
6. Issues, issues, issues
Strippers carry more baggage than a 747 headed out of Havana two days before the Marines show up to liberate some commie bastards. You like having three little rugrats running around that arent yours? If you think thats bad, just wait till you meet the five guys who have been pegged as the babys daddies
7. Jerry Springer
The single worst show in the world. Ever dream of being a contestant on Who slept with my girlfriend this week? Go find yourself a girl who calls herself Delicious and your tickets will be paid for.
8. Strippers are stupid
Most strippers didnt finish high school, hence the job showing boobies. A lot of girls will try to fool you with the whole Im just working my way through college thing. Dont be fooled. College in stripper terminology means the next 8-ball of cocaine.
9. It is always nice to be able to say your girl isnt a whore
There are plenty of girls out there who wont show just any random guy their birthday suit for a dollar bill and a smile. Find one of those girls. Save yourself from a life of sharing your woman with every other dude who happens to have a dollar bill.
If you are offended by this remember.... you're on stage next....
discussion comment
12 years ago
Dont ya mean Fuck it list
discussion comment
12 years ago
Now I know where I read it
discussion comment
12 years ago
I read this somewhere else
discussion comment
12 years ago
I'm surprised right now
discussion comment
12 years ago
Handshakes mean they want to use their hands. Mouthshakes are better.
discussion comment
12 years ago
I remember in 32 BC lap dances were free
discussion comment
12 years ago
Strippers balls driver shafts and holes what possibly could go wrong
discussion comment
12 years ago
I prefer Russian and Brazilian massage parlors
discussion comment
12 years ago
Tantrum but never tantric
discussion comment
12 years ago
Joe is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realises she has gone without underwear. The blonde realises he is staring and inquires, "Are you looking at my pussy?" "Yes, I'm sorry," says Joe and promises to avert his eyes. "It's quite alright," replies the woman, "It's very talented, watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you." Sure enough the pussy blows him a kiss. Joe, who is completely absorbed, inquires what else the wonder pussy can do. "I can also make it wink," says the woman. Joe stares in amazement as the pussy winks at him. "Come and sit next to me," suggests the woman, patting the seat. Joe moves over and is asked, "Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?" Stunned, Joe replies, "Good grief! Can it whistle, too?"
discussion comment
12 years ago
A man walks into the bar with his wife. After a few drinks, he goes and uses the pisser. as soon as he wlked in their, a man walked up and said to her,
"man babby you got some nice tits i want to suck on them"
the women looking horified looked at him and said
"are you talking to me"? The man then said
"man babby you got a nice ass, i want to lick that shit".
the women says
"my husband is in the bathroom and he is going to kick your ass".
the man says
"man babby you got a nice pussy i want to tip you over and drink beer from that shit"
The women gets up ready to slap the man. as soon as he sees her husband walking up the man takes off. Her husband asks,
"whats wrong hunny"?
the women replies,
"Youll never believe it, this man just came up and said that he wanted to suck on my titties"
The man looks around and says,
"where is this guy"
The women said,
"thats not all he said he wanted to lick my ass".
The man rolls up his sleeves and says,
"where is this guy, im going to kick his ass".
The women said,
Thats not all he said,
"he wanted to tip me over and drink beer from my pussy.
The man looks around rolls down his sleeves and sits down. The women asks,
"Whats worng hunny? Arnt you going to kick his ass"?
The man replies,
"hell no, im not messing with any man that can drink that much beer"
discussion comment
12 years ago
A kid comes home from school and says to his mom, "Mom I've got a problem." She says "Tell me." He tells her that the boys at school are using 2 words he doesn't understand. She asks him what they are.
He says "well, pussy and bitch".
She says "Oh That's no big deal, pussy is a cat like our little Mittens, and bitch is a female dog like our Sandy."
He thanks her and goes to visit dad in the workshop in the basement.
He says to his dad, "Dad the boys at school are using words I don't know, and I asked mom and I don't think she told me the exact meaning.
Dad says "Son, I told you never to go to mom with these matters, she cant handle them. What are the words?"
He tells him...pussy and bitch.
Dad says "OK" and pulls a Playboy down from the shelf, takes a marker and circles the pubic area of the centerfold and says, "son, everything inside this circle, is pussy."
"OK dad, so what's a bitch?"
"Son" he says, "everything outside that circle."
discussion comment
12 years ago
Q. What is the difference between driving in the fog and eating pussy?
A. When you're driving in the fog, you can't see the asshole ahead of you.
discussion comment
12 years ago
This fellow was screwing his best friend's wife when he suddenly stopped and sat on the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands. "What the hell is your problem?" the lady asked. "I feel like a regular son of a bitch, getting my best friends pussy," the man moaned. The lady reached over and patted him on the back. "Well, if that's all it is, you can stop worrying," she said. "You're not getting his pussy. His pussy is five to six inches deeper."
discussion comment
12 years ago
One day a boy asks his dad,"What's the difference between a pussy and a cunt?" Dad thought for a minute and said, "Come with me." He took his son to his mother's bedroom, where shewas sleeping nude. "Son," he whispered, "see thatbrown soft furry patch? That is a pussy." The boy asked, "May I touch it to see how soft andfurry it is?" "No!" replied his father. "That might wake up the cunt."
discussion comment
12 years ago
What is the abbreviation OC BCG? Can anyone help?
discussion comment
12 years ago
Sorry I can't help you I don't go to casinos
discussion comment
12 years ago
I think they went to Deja Vu wait maybe that was Deja Vu
discussion comment
12 years ago
Fuck it go to her place, bang the shit out of her and pray her boyfriend named Mule or Nails doesn't show up
discussion comment
12 years ago
I used to go twice a week but I went once a month but after I went twice a day until I went once in a while and now I go when my balls itch
discussion comment
12 years ago
Some club suck some clubs dont know what the fuck
discussion comment
12 years ago
I'm blind
discussion comment
12 years ago
Every waking hour or 2 hours whichever is less