Let the pussy jokes commence!

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hard10
Everett Lages Allegedly Tried To Take Kitten Into Emerald City Strip Club, Arrested For Calling 911

Posted: 06/11/2012 10:14 am Updated: 06/11/2012 10:14 am

This guy must really like ... kittens.

Everett Lages was arrested outside of Emerald City strip club in Murdock, Fla. on Tuesday for repeatedly calling 911 after the owner prohibited him from entering with a kitten, according to a Charlotte County Sheriff's press release.

When Emerald City's owner told the 47-year-old man to leave, he instead sat down outside and called the cops, the release said.

Lages appeared intoxicated when deputies arrived, prompting authorities to call him a taxi, according to the release.

The kitten-carrier refused to tell the cab driver where he lived and instead kept calling 911 -- despite sheriff's deputies still being at the scene -- so police arrested him.

Lages is charged with misuse of the 911 system, disorderly intoxication, trespassing after warning and resisting arrest without violence.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/11…

11 comments

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avatar for Alucard
Alucard
13 years ago
See, Intoxication leads to nothing GOOD!

I hope the kitten is OK.
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hard10
13 years ago
I guess he prefers his pussy ITC...
avatar for gatorfan
gatorfan
13 years ago
One day a boy asks his dad,"What's the difference between a pussy and a cunt?" Dad thought for a minute and said, "Come with me." He took his son to his mother's bedroom, where shewas sleeping nude. "Son," he whispered, "see thatbrown soft furry patch? That is a pussy." The boy asked, "May I touch it to see how soft andfurry it is?" "No!" replied his father. "That might wake up the cunt."

avatar for gatorfan
gatorfan
13 years ago
This fellow was screwing his best friend's wife when he suddenly stopped and sat on the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands. "What the hell is your problem?" the lady asked. "I feel like a regular son of a bitch, getting my best friends pussy," the man moaned. The lady reached over and patted him on the back. "Well, if that's all it is, you can stop worrying," she said. "You're not getting his pussy. His pussy is five to six inches deeper."

avatar for gatorfan
gatorfan
13 years ago
Q. What is the difference between driving in the fog and eating pussy?
A. When you're driving in the fog, you can't see the asshole ahead of you.

avatar for gatorfan
gatorfan
13 years ago
A kid comes home from school and says to his mom, "Mom I've got a problem." She says "Tell me." He tells her that the boys at school are using 2 words he doesn't understand. She asks him what they are.
He says "well, pussy and bitch".
She says "Oh That's no big deal, pussy is a cat like our little Mittens, and bitch is a female dog like our Sandy."
He thanks her and goes to visit dad in the workshop in the basement.
He says to his dad, "Dad the boys at school are using words I don't know, and I asked mom and I don't think she told me the exact meaning.
Dad says "Son, I told you never to go to mom with these matters, she cant handle them. What are the words?"
He tells him...pussy and bitch.
Dad says "OK" and pulls a Playboy down from the shelf, takes a marker and circles the pubic area of the centerfold and says, "son, everything inside this circle, is pussy."
"OK dad, so what's a bitch?"
"Son" he says, "everything outside that circle."

avatar for gatorfan
gatorfan
13 years ago
A man walks into the bar with his wife. After a few drinks, he goes and uses the pisser. as soon as he wlked in their, a man walked up and said to her,
"man babby you got some nice tits i want to suck on them"
the women looking horified looked at him and said
"are you talking to me"? The man then said
"man babby you got a nice ass, i want to lick that shit".
the women says
"my husband is in the bathroom and he is going to kick your ass".
the man says
"man babby you got a nice pussy i want to tip you over and drink beer from that shit"
The women gets up ready to slap the man. as soon as he sees her husband walking up the man takes off. Her husband asks,
"whats wrong hunny"?
the women replies,
"Youll never believe it, this man just came up and said that he wanted to suck on my titties"
The man looks around and says,
"where is this guy"
The women said,
"thats not all he said he wanted to lick my ass".
The man rolls up his sleeves and says,
"where is this guy, im going to kick his ass".
The women said,
Thats not all he said,
"he wanted to tip me over and drink beer from my pussy.
The man looks around rolls down his sleeves and sits down. The women asks,
"Whats worng hunny? Arnt you going to kick his ass"?
The man replies,
"hell no, im not messing with any man that can drink that much beer"
avatar for gatorfan
gatorfan
13 years ago
Joe is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realises she has gone without underwear. The blonde realises he is staring and inquires, "Are you looking at my pussy?" "Yes, I'm sorry," says Joe and promises to avert his eyes. "It's quite alright," replies the woman, "It's very talented, watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you." Sure enough the pussy blows him a kiss. Joe, who is completely absorbed, inquires what else the wonder pussy can do. "I can also make it wink," says the woman. Joe stares in amazement as the pussy winks at him. "Come and sit next to me," suggests the woman, patting the seat. Joe moves over and is asked, "Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?" Stunned, Joe replies, "Good grief! Can it whistle, too?"

avatar for motorhead
motorhead
13 years ago
An old man and an old lady are getting ready for bed one night when all of a sudden she bursts out of the bathroom, flings open her robe and yells "Super Pussy!"

The old man says "I'll have the soup".

avatar for Alucard
Alucard
13 years ago
Dam gatorfan! LMAO
avatar for Daddillac
Daddillac
13 years ago
Never take sand to the beach
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