Comments by ozymandias (page 9)

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Then you simply wouldn't go to strip clubs because you're right, it's California. California just has a whole different scale of economy than the rest of the nation - try buying a house there, for example. O.

I was at Tattletales in Atlanta in the early 90s, sitting with the gorgeous blond "rock girl" type called Laken, who was sort of part of my regular stable in those days. So one night, her brother comes in with some of his friends - the lot of them being drunk rednecks - and at that moment discovers his kid sister is a stripper. That was some fireworks, as you can imagine! O.

I have a second home in North Georgia (I mostly live in Atlanta, but it's nice to get away). Nice place on some acreage. There's a town nearby large enough to have a Walmart. Now, this was some years ago, when people actually used to go rent "DVDs" at Blockbuster. There was this VERY hot girl, 18 or 19 yo, who worked there, and she just had that "I'm a slut" aura about her. She always flirted with me at Blockbuster, but I never tried to pursue it. Once or twice I ran into her at the local Waffle House, but she was always with a group. Finally I had to go to Walmart for something (printer paper or the like), slightly late, and lo-and-behold, there she was, wearing a short skirt, tee, typical teen slut-wear. And ALONE. Worked out quite nicely indeed! O.

Someday I'm going to book an escort of CL and actually take 150 roses as payment, just to fuck around. Or maybe 150 peaches, since that's cheaper. O.

I hate it when the hot girl I'm with needs to go to the crapper or whatever and she invites her far-less-hot friend to "take care of me" while she's gone. I am VERY picky, so that doesn't work for me AT ALL! >.< O.

The first Penthouse Pet I tagged was a feature - Kia Delao, April Pet of the Month 1996 - whom I met at the Pink Pony in Atlanta. This was actually in '95, so she wasn't a Pet *yet*, so not sure if she counts as the first (in which case the honor would go to Sasha Vinni, whom I "saw" a few years ago as just a straight-up whore), but she *was* a Hustler Honey at the time, which is presumably how she was featuring. Credentials are everything! Anyway, she was really unusual as a feature because she was petite and slender, with nice, natural C-cups. Almost stupidly beautiful face. Also totally insane and a drug addict, but she was an explosive fuck and just crazy fun to be around - we hung out for the week she was there, me bleeding money, her dancing, and us fucking and smoking weed and drinking. Good times. O.

Flavored dental dams? You can get ANYTHING on the Internet. Seriously. I could go for cognac truffle flavor myself. O.

I have to confess that I'm pretty "vanilla" as far as kind goes - give me a hot chick and some nice, old-fashioned oratory and vaginal fucking and I'm happy. Never was into midgets or albinos or two-headed chicks or the like. Ho hum, boring me. There was a feature I saw once who had one of those big champagne-glass tubs, which would be filled with water. At one point in her act, she got in the tub and took a bunch of water into her vagina, and then she would spread her legs and arch up out of it and then eject the water about twenty feet out and all over the audience. It was actually pretty disgusting. Many a drink went undrunk that night, methinks. O.

I can't get strippers to NOT kiss me. Yesterday I was driving on the expressway to meet a client, right? So this black van pulls up beside me and the side door slides open, revealing two strippers. One blows out my rear window with a silenced H&K G3 assault rifle - just a soft *pop* and my windshield disintegrates - and the other one leaps from the van, flipping around so she jumps though the shattered window feet-first, and lands sitting and totally cool in my back seat. So I'm all *fuck! ninja strippers!* and just keeping control of the car, and the stripper grabs my head and whips it around and plants a huge DFK, tongue to tonsil, before I can react. She tasted like mint, which was nice, but my eyes were off the expressway for twelve seconds, which is clearly very hazardous. Then she just does this slithering leap back out of the car and into the van, and it veers through 4 lanes to take the next exit. I never did get the tag number. Seriously, I'd beat them off with a stick if I could but these ninja strippers are so freakin' AGILE that I can't connect! O.

HPV and HSV are nothing but fictions spread to kill everyone's good time, anyway. Stupid government! Everyone should fuck with impunity. Down with The Man. Give Peace a Chance. Word, O.

Probably the internet, really ;) For live viewing, though, isn't that pretty much what strip clubs are FOR? Hard to beat purity of intent! O.

I just assumed founder operated out of some secret mountain base in some exotic time zone, said base being protected by ninja strippers. I think that's preferable to "crappy hardware" myself! O.

I am going to answer this with the level of seriousness - no, gravitas - that it deserves. I prefer to get the stripper grinding on my lap just so, letting her slip herself over my cock whereupon I EXPLODE MIGHTILY inside her, launching her to the ceiling were she grabs the rafters and commences a gymnastics routine. It always gets applause. O.

In seriousness... I very seldom use hypotheticals, but I do use metaphor quite a bit. I lecture on mathematics and physics, and often try to coax visualization from students via metaphor, so it's just a habit. Metaphor is a great way to communicate a difficult idea to someone who lacks the formal language and tools to understand it "normally." I think hypotheticals are more common in "female" modes of speech, and as such probably *are* pretty effective when chatting up dancers. O.

You can't "crush" trolls - you have to burn them, or else they regenerate. Seriously, how basic is that! O.

I kind of lost it at "I proposed two hypothetical situations to... Essence and Jade." ;) Black club, I assume? O.

You could build a city using obsolete Y2K books as bricks. This isn't much different. O.

I'm kind of bothered by the amount of time you spent writing this... I mean, there are two paragraphs. >.> O.

An alternative strategy is simply to earn more. O.

Jessica Alba is just plain fuckable! If I could go back in a time machine, though, to 1980, I'd give about anything to do Ornella Muti, the Italian actress who played Princess Aura in the 1980 "Flash Gordon" film (the one with the "Queen" soundtrack.) She was just stupidly hot. O.

Speaking of Little Italy, check out Lombardi's on Spring Street in Manhattan - THAT is pizza. Damn, I'm hungry now. O.

Only if they're with me. If you want a fun time, go to a strip club with a bi female friend. O.

It's only a problem if he's pumping her full of cum and then she's letting customers eat her out in VIP - seriously, shit like this goes on. The husband would be laughing his ass off. That aside, "who cares". One of the best fuck buddies I ever had was "Princess", a married ebony spinner at Follies in Atlanta. I was married, she was married, but we had great chemistry and used to just meet to fuck each others' brains out. Sometimes, we'd hit it in VIP just for the turn-on. Good times! O.