Breaking the cycle

If available in your area, then you might test giving a cheap dive a minimum of 10 straight visits. A buddy who only liked expensive clubs and he can easily afford them, went to Angels a $5 club. His first visit and he was totally disgusted. We stayed because I was hoping the hotties would show, which could be at anytime. Probably the most unhappy camper I'd ever witnessed. He thought the dancers should have been paying him! NEVER AGAIN was his refrain.

Well the next time that I visited with him he happened to be driving so after putting up a stink he enters Angels in a NASTY MOOD. I was even shocked by how hot the dancers were and how many there were and I *know* that it can get like that. So he has a ball and suddenly he is asking why anyone would go to Tootsies?!? Well, there are a lot of good reasons to prefer Tootsies over Angels and vice versa.

I was very surprised that the cost savings meant so much to him. He says it just felt great being in a club where you'd have to just throw money away for it to be expensive. He says I can spend non-stop and it costs nothing.

Angels is now his FAVORITE club.

Well, I'm not sure how much you're spending or what you want to get in exchange for what you are spending. My goal is to have periodic additional sexual companions. Once I find a good partner, I will stick with that person, and then I am really no longer going to the clubs, and thus no longer spending money on what I feel are "incidentals". That helps control costs, for me. Otherwise, for me, part of what makes going to the clubs expensive is that you are spending a lot of money on stuff that doesn't do anything for me. Once I have a regular fuck buddy, my money is just going to her, and so there's no waste.

I think (but this is largely a guess on my part) that guys who are more into the "club experience" limit their expenditures by budgeting -- for example, they take a certain amount of cash with them, and they just don't take their credit cards or atm cards, so when they run out of money, they leave.

Addictions are hard to beat. Very few are able to kick them altogether. Usually the person just drops it for a bit then picks it right up again or moves on to a new addiction. (My
"complete guess" is that there might be some low level OCD involved, perhaps even at a chemical or biological level.)

So I would say look for relatively cheap, harmless addictions as a substitute. Maybe smoke weed instead?

rootman,

In one word...

RETIRE!

Best strategy for me to limit my expenses is to take only cash and only an ammout I am willing to part with. If you make this decision prior to leaving for the club I think you will be forced to keep within your budget. That being said, this is an expensive habit by any measure. Those who compare the financial considerations to a movie or dinner date are just kidding themselves.

"Those who compare the financial considerations to a movie or dinner date are just kidding themselves."

You must be going to expensive clubs.

So I would say look for relatively cheap, harmless addictions as a substitute. Maybe smoke weed instead?

LOL
THATS not expensive ha ha ha If you choose that move to Canada ( Vancouver of course)

wondergirl: WORD!

It's an expensive hobby with little to show at the end of the day. But it fulfills some irrational emotional need that I have, so I keep dragging me and my OCD back. Back in '99 or '00 I stayed out of all clubs for 6 months. Saved a wad of money, and fucked my wife a lot. LOL

I did a little mini-fast in July; no club all month. Went back the other day and was bored at first. Went to VIP with too long ignored fav; she was hotter than usual. I'm hooked again.

This time I'm going to try to just be semi-addicted.

An alternative strategy is simply to earn more.

O.

"An alternative strategy is simply to earn more." Great now bobbyl will have to cut lawns as well as deliver newspapers. Tough being 13!

I've cut way down on my spending in recent years as a result of a change of attitude. I came to realize that the amount of fun I had wasn't determined by how much I spent and that the best times I've had in clubs have often been when I've spent very little. I make the most out of stage tipping and flirting with strippers when they come around. Anymore, I rarely get more than one or two dances with a girl, because that's not where most of my enjoyment comes. In other words, the cost difference between, say, $20-40 in dances and $100+ is wildly disproportionate to what I get out of it past the first song or two.

None of this has come from a need to cut back on spending. I wouldn't approach it much differently if money were no object. I always carry far more cash into a club than I think I'll need without any fear that I'll blow it all just because it's on me. I've simply become skeptical of any benefit coming from throwing ridiculous amounts of money at strippers.

Here's the formula I used to not spend too much:

(1) Don't go very often - make clubbing a special occasion.
(2) Limit how much money you take and NEVER use the ATM.
(3) Avoid clubs that are over priced.
(4) Don't buy private dances unless you meet that special girl who really turns you on, which should be a pretty rare event.
(5) Don't drink very much when clubbing, alcohol clouds your judgment. I like to drink as much as the next guy, but to me clubbing and drinking are 2 separate and mutually exclusive events.

I'm pretty convinced, that despite his denials, chandler's big goal is picking up strippers for unpaid sex. And he's willing to put the work and time into doing it. In that case, spending close to nothing would make sense then.

In any case, the deeper point is that as your spending increases (and you aren't making them earn by, say, sucking your dick) the more likely they are to see you as chump/ATM and that likely, though almost paradoxically, will lead to the equation more spent = less fun.

It's simple, find another addiction that you like as much or better that happens to be cheaper. If you're stuck on strip clubs, find another strip club or two and don't buy any lap dances at those clubs. Tip slowly. That should limit your time and spending at the other club. If you're spending too much on one thing such as drinks or lap dances, select a cut off time or none at all. Or just stay home and find another hobby to entertain and keep you busy. Figure out how much money per month or week you can take and only take that much. If you don't have enough don't go. Maybe even experiment with a different hobby like a massage parlor. That might be cheaper depending upon how much money you are spending.

Or learn a new hobby such as golf where you have to get up in the morning and can't stay very long at the strip clubs anymore. Then you can go with your buddies and laugh at your buddies looking awkward with the dancers or just watch them pay for a table dance. I haven't tried massage parlors myself (I'm not talking about shady places here but legitimate ones.) I did pick up a relative from one and there was a hot blonde girl working there. I saw her leave. I found out a few months later my relative told me she was asking if I had a steady girlfriend or not because she was looking for a new boyfriend. I wish I had known sooner. She was hot.

Golf is HUGELY expensive...the clubs, the greens fees, carts (usually optional), shoes, golf balls, etc....I wouldn't recommend it as a way to save money on anything...