Comments by DoctorPhil.

你们需要放松

Just keep watching for the next gathering of the Ricks and invest all of your cash in Jack Daniel’s about a week before the Rick meeting.

^ “If they bite do some demented pervert shit with both of them.” If you need ideas there is all sorts of “stepsister” porn you can watch. Go forth and pervert away Mr. Dugan!

I have to give “The Dugan” credit where credit is due. This is a damn good story! So I’d like to follow on to one of Mr. Dugan’s comments: “What if I want to stop seeing one sister because of personality issues but not the other - do I really want to be completely honest about it with the one I'm still seeing?” It sound like that ship may have sailed. Based on what you said in your first post it was the girls that made the connection. Thus, they clearly talk about their “dates”. So if you stop seeing one the other is going to know. Here’s my Phil advice - Philvice if I can take a page from the lion guy: if this story is real, keep it going until you tire of at least one of them. Then - just for shits and giggles - propose a threesome. If they bite some demented pervert shit - you know, Dugan shit - with both of them. Then tell us about it! 🍿🍿🍿 And if this BS, make up a story! 🍿 🍿 🍿 Also, don’t be overly frugal if you get them to do some unspeakable shit. That’s just low class. Pay the girls! You’re welcome!

^ Mr. Scrub, do you ever post on Stripper Web? I bet that would be fucking hilarious. You should try it and post the results here. I’m sure it is good for shits and giggles! To the whole board: you’re welcome!

Things Mexican’s do? Eat Mexican food. Or, as they call it (after appropriate translation) “food”. They also breath this gas that surrounds us…what do you call that stuff? Oh yeah, “air”. And 95% of Mexicans have a pet mouse that runs real fast and calls out “arriba andele” in various combinations https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOvyRjVQLjE

^ Ohhh… Ohhh… I can answer that. Yes. Yes he does.

Interesting idea, but it won’ work to encourage masking. You’re trying to make mask wearing fun, but it’ll be the same “I don’t wanna do it cuz I’m a lil’ pussy”. Examples folllow: Mr. Dugan will wear the bramask walking into the Publix supermarket only to take it off dramatically in the produce section, where he will then take a shit on the avocados as a protest. Mr. Mark will come up with an elaborate rationale for why the Depp jockstrap will filter out viruses better than bras, but he won’t want to wear “the Deppstrap” because he fears his gay side. Of course, he’ll relent and learn to love breathing in the Depp odor. Mr. Gamma will loudly proclaim his willingness to defend “muh countray” and set off for the bra/jockstrap distribution center, tucking a Glock in his pant. However, he will suffer an accidental discharge on the way and his cry of “OW! I SHOT MUH DICK OFF” will be heard echoing throughout wherever the fuck he lives. You get the idea.

Mr. Mate, you are a gentleman. Mr. San Jose, it is shit like that that gets people all bent out of shape with you. I mean really, I think you’re mostly harmless but messing up your grammar. What’s up with that? And the weird shit about “the Organization”. Just think of how silly “the System” sounds. “The Organization” sounds even sillier. Makes you sound worse than “the Dugan”. And you don’t want that, do you?

Why the fuck does Mr. Desert “Club Ad” Scrub have the most ignores of anybody? Don’t people want to know which reviews are club ads. By the way, I found a video of Mr. Scrub. Turns out that he’s a high school teacher. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ue0qJb6JT2I

Mr. Dugan, I was going to praise you for being civilized, albeit uninformative, on this thread. But then you go and start dissing Ms. Sugan Doll. What’s up with that? Well…now the good detective is on the case. Here is an idea: you should totally pay the good detective to track down your fictional wife. As always, you are welcome!

^ Mr. 623, are you trying to tell me that a guy named “Craptips” is not a trustworthy poster?

Also, DetectiveDugan, all I can say is: BRAVO, THIS IS SOME GOOD SATIRE! Keep up the good work. Maybe you can figure out where the fictional Mrs. Dugan went. You might want to check the UFOs because it seems to me that Mr. Dugan is such a great guy that it would take an alien abduction to get her to leave her husband.

Mr. FishHawk says the truth Ms. Bailey. Do not take the detective’s words seriously. The good detective is only attempting to satirize a certain poster known as “THE DUGAN” What you have to understand is that “The Dugan” is kind of a know-it-all. He freaks out when contradicted by a dancer and insults them by alleging that they are fat guys living in their mother’s basement. Now, I’m sure that the Dugan is correct about this some of the time. After all, a broken clock is right twice a day. But the Dugan makes this allegation whenever he is contradicted. The Dugan has other hits. He is constantly talking about a fictional wife and kids. He talked a lot of smack about this one guy who then said he was going to Dugan’s home town to kick the Dugan’s ass. At that point the Dugan said he couldn’t come out to fight because his fictional wife left him and he was now sole caregiver for his fictional children. And then there was the recently bumped Dugan thread from years gone by in which he described some poor girl with a heroin addiction due to back problem. His big hope: she would backslide and need money for hero. Why did he hope this? Because he thought it would make her a more affordable prostitute. Just remember this: most of us aren’t Dugans You’re welcome!

^ Depends. Conspiracies involve multiple people. Since you don’t have friends I assume the conspirators are Mr. O, Mr. S, and Ms. U, the three people living in your head. Fun fact: Ms. U is actually a tranny

^ Exactly the kind of thing a lizard person from Alpha Centauri would say

It has been a long time since I have been to Jacksonville because…well, why the fuck would you go to Jacksonville? Anyway, I won’t detail the reasons I was there, but I will say that the last time I was there was a long time ago and I could swear the club that I enjoyed the most was called The Doll House. I had enough fun that it actually stood out in my mind. I tried three clubs, which is actually and unusually large number for me because I usually have other things on my agenda when traveling. I was surprised not to see this mentioned so looked up the Jacksonville clubs to see if my memory was just plain wrong. There is indeed a club with that name, although it seems in a different place than I remember according to the map. Not that far away so probably just imperfect memory…who knows? So Ace and Dugan (gulp! I can’t believe I’m asking “the Dugan” anything…), what’s the 411? Is Doll House any good? Should PSD think about dancing there? If I ever return to Jacksonville… scratch that, I can’t see a reason to return to Jacksonville. When I next go to Florida it will be the nature coast or the Apalachicola region or St. Pete/Clearwater or even Orlando… someplace with something to recommend it… someplace not Jacksonville.

Mr. Icee, all I can say is okee dokee artichokee! Thanks for the information.

D. Totally D.

Plus, nobody is talking about the way Mr. TheeOSU stole the identity of valued poster TheOSU. What the fuck is up with that? TheOSU was insightful. TheeOSU is a babbling loser.

^^ Relax Mr. Icee The sadder part of this thread is that Mr. TheeOSU is taking so much time justifying his case. What kind of obsesso loser looks spends more than 2 seconds making a case by looking up the library hours in San Jose. I could respect Mr. TheeOSU if he just made up some baseless accusations for laughs, but taking this shit seriously is just sad. 😢

Rock Lobster?!!! What the fuck are you Mr. Skibum? Playing “Rock Lobster” is a sure sign that you’re the nerdy kid in the frat that has never gotten laid. Why to you want to be that kid at your age. Only reasonable answer is AC/DC “It’s a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock ‘n Roll”. That song clearly had it’s genesis in some guy saying “you can’t use bagpipes in a rock song” and Mr. Bon Scott replying “hold my beer.” Runner up: anything off Highway to Hell or Back in Black. “Thunderstruck” also works. AC/DC rocks!

^ Don’t worry Mr. Mark, you’ll soon forget. Just like you forget every time you post some nonsense and are proven to be wrong. Just like you keep forgetting to send me a trophy for kicking your ass at debatey-debates. Just like you have now forgotten that I want an elephant to make up for your failure to send the trophy. NEL-ER-PHANT! NEL-ER-PHANT! NEL-ER-PHANT!

And Popeyes has gone seriously downhill. Fried chicken is a guilty pleasure and it’s just not worth it anymore. Another phil phact(tm).

I have to admit that the Chick-Fil-A sandwich is a guilty pleasure. I seldom eat there because it is really the only thing they sell that I like. The waffle fries are “too much”. McDs fries are much better, though McD’s fries are really the only thing I find edible there and are guilty pleasure. If Chick-Fil-A would do fries similar to McD’s or, even better, sweet potato fries (non-waffle) they would have a combo that is much better. It would still be an occasional guilty pleasure because, let’s face it, fried chicken sandwiches ain’t health food. If I recall correctly Chick-Fil-A has a grilled chicken sandwich and I have a vague memory that I tried it and it was seriously gross. I also find all nuggets gross. Much as I hate agreeing with Dugan on anything because of his general douche aura, he’s right about the peanut oil. Now that I have shared my phil phacts(tm) I shall end with a hearty “you’re welcome”