Comments by DoctorPhil. (page 2)

^ LOL! But I thought it was the resurrection of JFK Jr. Or maybe it is that JFK Jr. faked his death and has been hiding out. Who knows. But this give me an idea: let’s urge Mr. Anderson to become a member of the Church of Scientology. They believe a lot of weird shit but I think it is probably less problematic for Mr. Anderson’s mental health. Same strategy might help Mr. Dixie.

^ Mr. Third Eye, the thing to know about Mr. Skibum is that he has an eight second memory like a goldfish but he also has Tourette’s so he can’t help the shit he types. He is kind of like Cartman in the episode of South Park where Cartman would write letters that included his fake verbal ticks. Only Mr. Skibum’s ticks are real. You’re welcome!

^ Yes, I suspect most posters would enjoy the story Ms. Bharlem.

Mr. Anderson, have you watched the show on the Apple TV about Mr. Ted Lasso? Mr. Lasso asserts that the goldfish is the happiest animal in the world because it has an eight second memory. One might quibble about the science behind the Lasso character’s assertion, but this line has a profound truth to it, much like Lasso’s apocryphal Whitman quote. You should cultivate the personality of a goldfish. I recommend you go to the pet store and watch the goldfish for at least two hours. Then go someplace with a mirror. Stare at yourself in that mirror and do exactly what you saw the goldfish do. You will be happier.

Mr. Dugan, in the words of the immortal Mr. Inigo Montoya, “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” You should red the Wikipedia page on Disneyfication https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disneyfication ask yourself whether the examples you list are actually examples of Disneyfication. Because you’re not very smart I’ll tell you the answer: they are not an examples of Disneyfication. They are simply people making up stories about having fun in a manner that differs from the stories you make up. You’re welcome! Also, I will now be accepting awards from other TUSCL posters now that I have solved yet another nonsense problem created by Mr. Dugan. As I said before: you’re welcome!

Better watch out Mr. Dugan or Alucard the Vampire Bat 🦇 gonna smack you down. Unless you weasel out of the bat on Rick combat by claiming that your fictional wife left you as sole caretaker of your fictional children so you can’t fight a bat!

^^ See…only a douche would diss athletes in the Special Olympics

Why is Mr. Rick Dugan not on this list? Yes…he’s a douchebag. But he’s entertaining as fuck. I mean really, how many posters have a menagerie of delightful animals that posting as their friends? Is there a Papi Wombat? A Shadow Ostrich? An Alucard Vampire Bat? I don’t think so. I acknowledge that it is “Shadow Cat” but he does not claim to be an actual cat, so that doesn’t count. Even if Dugan is a giant douche we have to give credit where credit is due.

Not just the Rick Menagerie Mr. 25. Any delightful animals. Consider the following: Skibear - a depressed bear with Tourette’s that hates democrats. Turns out the queen of the bear prom humiliated poor Skibear in high school. She agreed to go out with him planning to dump him for a…gasp…democrat bear during the dance. Specifically, she dumped Skibear for Teddy Kennedy’s Teddy Bear. DixieSnek - retarded snake (hence the misspelling of snake) that hates China. DesertLizard - kind of like the GEICO lizard but given to BOUTS OF RAGE and the capitalization of RANDOM WORDS. I’m not sure we need any more Ricks. Well, maybe “Rick the Honeybee”…a male bee that brags about the beautiful queen of his colony and all the other queens he bangs. But when any other bees want to fight with the Rick Bee he comes up with a story about how the queen abandoned the colony and he has to stay home and care for the larvae.

^^ Thems big words for a psycho that stole the good name of the real TheOSU Don’t you know that making fake aliases for other posters is a fucked up thing to do Mr. TheeOSU?

Mr. Mark sez => “I manage my taxable income ( mostly capital gains and dividends ) to minimize my taxes. By doing that, taxes are pretty simple. A little planning up front means fewer headaches at the end of the year.” Next year should claim the elephant you owe me as a trophy for kicking your ass in the debatey-debates as a deduction. All you have to do is acknowledge that I kicked your ass and then go get the fucking elephant and send it to me. NEL-ER-PHANT NEL-ER-PHANT NEL-ER-PHANT

^ Good idea Mr. Candy

Do you have “Iron Man” by Sabbath on your list? If not, you should spend a day dancing to nothing but Iron Man You’re welcome!

^ But can you find Mr. Mark and make that welsher gimme a damn NEL-ER-PHANT???

Two thing Mr. Icee: First, $500 was the wrong amount. $420 would have been better. In fact, if you were really good at shopping you could have gotten a present for exactly $420.69. However, if you took the effort to get her $420.69 in weed and body spray you should also give her the receipt. Second, you read her a poem? Why aren’t you sharing said poem? I bet it went something like this: Roses are red, violets are blue I got you this weed and body spray Because I love you and thought That KY and ecstasy would seem desperate Also, you’re imaginary and I bought all this shit with Monopoly money and I spent $500 of said play money rather than the much more clever $420

Good point Mr. ATACdawg. Mr. OSU insults dogs so he is certain to be an asshole. My pappy always said “any guy that would insult a dog is an asshole, I mean really…look at that Boston Terrier with it’s scrunched up face…many people would call that ugly but that dog is guaranteed to get a blow job even if it has to lick itself…can you say that about any human?” Mr. OSU has never been blown. How do I know this? Well, he is, as the Ricks would say, a hairless ape. Therefore, can’t lick his own genitals. So he ain’t never been blown. Q.E.D.

Mr. OSU, you’re rather dismissive of Afghan hounds (Pashto: تاژي سپی; Dari: سگ تازی). I mean really, you’re calling them all dumb. Well…when’s the last time you shit on the floor of your home? I’m pretty confident your answer is “bout 3:50 this morning”. Ask an adult Afghan hound (a Tāžī Spay or Sag-e Tāzī) the same question and their response would be “Not since I was a puppy. I mean really, do I look like some Ohio weirdo that shits in the house?”

^^ Look, you can never 100% know anything about anybody. Somebody who appears to be a pillar of the community could be Ted Buddy. But the reality is that Mr. San Joseis a bit, shall we say, neurodivergent. But there is a 99.99% chance he’s a harmless weirdo. On the other hand, Mr. OSU is obsessed with randos who say shit he doesn’t like on a titty club web site. And not in a funny “get them weirdo to say something hilarious” way. That guy’s far more likely to turn out to be dangerous. Watch out for any one-eyed Mercury Bobcats without mufflers that you might see in Ohio! You’re welcome

Daily reminder that Mr. Mark hasn’t given Phil his trophy!

Why are you people indulging Mr. OSU’s weird obsession with Mr. San Jose? I mean really, Mr. San Jose has a tenuous grasp on reality, but he is harmless. Mr. OSU is acting likes he’s going to drive down to San Jose, hunt poor Mr. San Jose, and eat Mr. San Jose with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. Fortunately, Mr. San Jose is safe because Mr. OSU is a loser that lives in a one-eyed Mercury Bobcat without a muffler. Ain’t no way that car’s making it to San Jose. Also, he’d probably mistake a cheap Merlot for a nice Chianti.

Mr. Dixie, you do understand that Mr. Smith slapped Mr. Rock because Mr. Rock made a joke about Ms. Jada Koren Pinkett “Baldie” Smith, Mr. Smith’s beloved wife, n’est-ce pas? Thus, you’re implying that Mr. Icee view Mr. OSU or Mr. San Jose (or both) as his wife. If I was Mr. Icee I’d bitch slap your ass for saying that shit.

Relax Mr. OSU. You’re the guy that’s obsessed with me and Mr. San Jose and whoever else you develop some weird fixation on. I admit to the crime of flinging shit at Mr. Dugan. Yes, he’s a douche. But he’s an entertaining douche. You’re just a whiney little bitch. I might fling shit back at you, but it ain’t worth initiating the shit flinging. Maybe you should ask yourself why you initiate so much shit flinging. It might help you. You’re welcome!

Mr. Rockie said => “I'm an old jaded fuck, but it's just a coincidence that we get 2 "troll posers" that joined TUSCL this week from San Francisco! #2 Poser - Buy a self driven Tesla and take a nap while it takes you and from your no show ATF” Although you have a point, I’m going to give some advice: just sit back with a bag of popcorn and enjoy the show. I mean really, there are some good stories about crazy shit on here. But there are also a lot of lame circle jerks about politics and weirdos who get all obsessed with other members. I’m going to be honest about trolling folks: it is funny because people freak out an don’t know the basic rule of not feeding the trolls. Take the original Dr. Phil. That guy was a serious douche. I saw his shit and thought it would be funny to post weird happy bullshit with his name. But let me tell you something… it’s addictive to actually be a douche. I try to only be a douche to the serious douches, but I see the attraction. Here’s the issue: there are serious douches on here. Mr. Dugan is exhibit #1. I used to think that there was a small chance he was some demented pervert/family man that weirdly brought up his kids on a board for demented perverts. But the there was the incident where he chickened out of the fight with Mr. Daddillac because his wife left him sole caregiver for his kids. Tell me that making up a family and then using them as an excuse ain’t serious doucebaggery. It is funny douchebaggery, but it is definitely douchebaggery. This guy is just asking silly questions. Actually, what I am I saying… Mr. BlondeLover, you need to step your trolling up. Read some Dugan posts and put your own spin on ‘em. You’re welcome!

^ Now now Mr. Icee, let’s not make fun of Mr. OSU for his homosexual attraction to Mr. San Jose. It would be so god for Mr. OSU to acknowledge the sexual basis of his obsession with other members, such as Mr. San Jose and yours truly. That will be the first step for him to find an appropriate love interest.

That reminds me - Mr. Mark still owes me a fuckin’ trophy for the time I kicked his ass at debatey-debates I’d spend time kicking your ass Mr. OSU, but you’re so confused about things that it isn’t worth it. I’m just trying to help you with your obsession with Mr. San Jose. Which you’ve never thanked me for. Now the whole board gonna think you’re ungrateful. You can make it up to me by sending an award once you make the successful love connection with Mr. San Jose. You’re welcome!