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Let us help Mr Dave Anderson become like MarkTheGoldfish

DoctorPhil.

Space geneious and inventer of the grunges

I am worried about Mr. Anderson’s mental health. I think we need to do an intervention.

Many of you have no doubt watched the show on the Apple TV about Mr. Ted Lasso, in which the titular character asserts that the goldfish is the happiest animal in the world because it has an eight second memory.

As I have explained elsewhere, one might quibble about the science behind the Lasso character’s assertion, but this line has a profound truth to it, much like Lasso’s apocryphal Whitman quote.

One of the great mysteries of the world is why Mr. Anderson seems so much more frightened about the world than, say, Mr. Mark or Mr. Skibum. Well, as a space genius it is my duty to help by telling you why: Mr. Mark and Mr. Skibum are goldfish.

I bet if you went back to the beginning of the covid pandemic it would be easy to find post by those two scoffing at the idea that SARS-CoV2 was a problem. Then, after the first 100,000 American deaths they no doubt asserted that hydroxychloroquine would stop the problem within a week. And after the next 200,000 American deaths they no doubt posted the exact same thing but substituted ivermectin for hydroxychloroquine.

Essentially, they were posting like goldfish. Something something they liked would happen and they would be happy. Something bad would happen and they would post predictions of how Mr. Donald John “Jehoshaphat” Trump would solve the problem and state how much they wanted to suck Mr. Trump’s mushroom-shaped phallus when he vanquished their enemies. Sort of like a weird homosexual goldfish that likes Mr. Trump because the orange spray tan makes them think he is alpha goldfish.

But the big point is that Mr. Mark is happy! Mr. Skibum is sort of a goldfish with Tourette’s so it is difficult to assess his happiness, what with the Tourette’s, but I suspect he is better off than the poor frightened Mr. Anderson.

Let us help Mr. Anderson become DaveTheGoldfish. Then we will have helped a man and will also have another delightful animal posting here!