discussion comment
7 years ago
-->"I don't mean if she's giving dances or having a drink her regular paid for. If you have money and wanna spend it on her and she's obviously not making money for a long stretch of time what do others here do too get her attention."
I would echo some of the statements above, but in stronger language: You don't know fuckall about whether or not she's "obviously not making money for a long stretch of time". As an example, when I sit with my CF, it's usually 60-90 minutes before we even do our first dance. You have no idea if the regular she's with is going to give her $1000 at the end of the night, you have no idea if he just paid her rent, you have no idea if he comes in twice a week and gives her $500 each time so that even if you have $800 to spend it isn't worth risking her regular week-in-and-week-out $1000.
I think the most important takeaway here is: I think a lot of guys get frustrated and butthurt over "why is she choosing THAT GUY who isn't spending money, when I want to spend money and still she won't come over to me?". Since you now realize you have no idea whether or not he's spending money -- and actually, the fact that she's spent 2 hours with him probably means he's spending a lot of money, and she has high confidence about that -- you don't have to take it personally.
I think JS's approach can sometimes with the girl over. I get douche chills just thinking about using that approach, just doesn't fit my personality, but it IS one way to do it. You often still won't get my ATF away from me -- again, she has no idea if you're bluffing, and why would she give up a great weekly regular over a one-time windfall -- but it will sometimes work.
I'll tell you what works more often if you want a dance with *my* ATF. Approach her on stage. Tell her you'd like to do a dance with her, and assure her it's just a couple of lap dances, or one VIP ("I can see you're with your regular, do you think he'd mind if we did just a couple of quick dances?"). While I will fire my ATF for abandoning me for a JS69-type, so the stakes are tougher for her (going with JS69 after his approach would mean potentially losing me permanently as a regular), if she comes back to me and asks "do you mind if I do just a couple of lap dances with that guy, I'll cut him off at 3?", I always say "sure, go for it."
discussion comment
7 years ago
-->"1. Waiting for my favorite dancer who's with someone else who seemingly has an unlimited budget. "
I TOTALLY understand why the variety-oriented guys, and guys going to a new (to them) strip club, get bummed over this. But your use of the term "favorite dancer" indicates you might be seeing this girl a lot. I will never understand why you guys don't get your ATF's phone number and set up an appointment with her -- and work out with her when her least busy time is, so your dollar will stretch further. The fact that I do this 100% of the time, is the reason you're waiting so long for her in the first place. And I have a secret for you -- I don't have remotely an unlimited budget. I'm just a pleasant consistent regular, who makes appointments.
discussion comment
7 years ago
I have to admit that over the past couple of years -- and thanks in part to tuscl -- I no longer bristle over the bathroom troll. First, and probably most importantly, I've taken a hippie-dippie "there but for the grace of God go I" mindset ... I happily tip the guy a dollar, and hope it will bring my karma back into balance :)
In addition, I think I *do* buy into the explanation that the bathroom troll is:
- Responsible for maintaining a clean bathroom
- An extension of security
- His mere presence means guys will be less messy and more apt to wash their hands
Frankly, faced with the choice of standing in a bathroom floor covered in pee, toilet paper thrown in the urinals so everything splashes back, having guys who haven't washed their hands after eliminating touching all the furniture and the girls, etc., vs giving the bathroom troll a dollar, I'll choose the dollar.
Don't get me wrong, I don't love the bathroom troll, but he doesn't annoy me anymore
discussion comment
7 years ago
I'm not a PL or strip club enthusiast by that definition either -- not spending over 10% of total gross income or even close. I think it's your definition of PL, it's way way off
discussion comment
7 years ago
I went through my unhealthy emotional connection phase years ago -- the few years after my separation. Even today, though, I'd say my various for-pay activities do have an impact on my real life lovelife, sometimes positive, sometimes negative.
Positive: Knowing I have a smoking hot 22-year-old to have sex with, has prevented me from having desperation sex with older women. Which means: 1. I didn't get buzzed and have sex with a woman I'm not really attracted to, and wake up hating myself for it, 2. I didn't possibly risk hurting the feelings of that woman when I never called her again. It's helped me consider only the emotional connection with the women I date, without being driven to do anything I'd regret due to runaway horniness.
Negative: The other side of the coin above: The fact that I'm having sex with hot 22 year olds does effect my judgement of older women, and there are definitely women who I didn't give a chance, even though we seemed to get along well, because I just didn't feel like accepting this much compromise in sexual attraction ... but meanwhile, if I wasn't comparing her to a 22-year-old, I might have become sexually attracted to her in time, as we connected emotionally.
In all, I think pursuing this probably on balance is making things a little harder for my civilian love life
discussion comment
7 years ago
-->"Rick, I'll trust your advice about not paying upfront. I just don't want to be in a situation where there's a disagreement on the final amount."
I didn't mention anything about paying up front because that's not a safety thing (as in, your physical safety won't be threatened), but a common sense thing. Even if you don't pay up front, strippers don't show up for OTCs pretty often -- paying up front is just begging to get ripped off. Even if she doesn't *intend* to rip you off, you have to remember many of these girls live their lives from crisis to crisis, and if one of the usual crises hits and she already has your money ... well, she's not showing, and you more than deserve what you get.
I didn't say it, but in addition to the things I said, I always do some light screening. Pretty much 100% of the time, I can find her personal facebook page, and from there her instagram etc., and there has been a time where we discovered a stripper was living thug life (or appeared to be), and my buddy called off the OTC.
discussion comment
7 years ago
If a man can't trust a pair of tits, what can he trust?
discussion comment
7 years ago
I think it's natural -- and smart -- to at least spend a moment thinking the safety topics through. After all, there are occasional stories in the newspaper about strippers who set up their customer for robbery or murder. On the other hand, this isn't really a super high risk endeavor, if you can't think it through and get past it, maybe it's not for you.
For myself, I think the keys include:
- Pick a great stripper. The strippers who end up in the newspaper for killing their customers, look exactly like I would imagine stripper look like who would kill their customers.
- Don't go to her place, you don't know what's waiting there for you.
- Don't go to your place, you don't know her well enough to have her know where you live (not an issue for you since you're traveling)
- Frankly, I don't even tell her which hotel we're going to, until we go there together. We meet for drinks and dinner, and then we just go to the hotel. She does know the room number until we get to the room and I say, "Okay, here's our room".
- I trust my instincts. I've never had it happen, but if there's weirdness, I'd bail.
That's about it. Have fun!
discussion comment
7 years ago
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LDJunkieEnjoying lap dances for 15 years and counting...
-->"She keeps complimenting me, has tried to kiss me, keeps grabbing my dick, and seems to enjoy my ass."
Well, the good news is, you're probably getting buttsex soon. Bad news, given her current behavior, she might bring the BIG strap-on
discussion comment
7 years ago
To tie in another awesome tuscl thread, do you ever smell her ass? https://www.tuscl.net/?page=post&id=33008 Like she's dancing for you, and bends over and waves her ass in your face and you, you know, stick your nose into her asscrack and inhale? It would at least be an amusing interpretation of what you're doing to her anyway!
discussion comment
7 years ago
Meanwhile, my stripper's asshole actually tastes like a Lemon Drop with powdered sugar around the rim
discussion comment
7 years ago
^^^ That's where you and differ in our dancer choices. The princesses I dance with neither poop nor fart.
discussion comment
7 years ago
"Smell a dancer's ass" ... what an unattractive way to describe such a beautiful, romantic gesture ... or not LOL :)
If my CF sticks her ass in my face, there's a good chance I'm kissing it. I don't try to smell her ass, or sticking the tip of my nose into her asshole, but I don't hold my breath, either ... in fact, I specifically want to know if she stinks, so I can pull my face away and not try to kiss it.
I am stuck in no-extras SC hell, but in this particular case, that has some advantages, coupled with some advantages of the way I happen to SC:
- No extras club, so she hasn't be fucked in her pussy and ass all afternoon
- Touching is limited, so guys probably haven't been finger banging her asshole (aka, moving the contents of the inside of her butthole, to the outside)
- I tend to be one of the first customers in the club, and stick with the same girl my entire visit, so chances are I'm her first and only customer that day
- She's my CF -- she knows in advance I love asses, and hers is going to get spanked, kissed, kneaded, rubbed, etc., so she's going to prepare herself and her ass
There's a funny thing that's happened enough that I don't think I'm imagining it. The very first time I'm with a stripper, her ass may not be eat-dinner-off-it clean. After she realizes that I'll be paying a lot of attention to it, from then on her ass is absolutely squeaky, to the point that I'm pretty sure she's baby wiping between dances to make sure.
discussion comment
7 years ago
-->"At best she is a 4"
Geez man, I could have stopped reading after that :) Me personally, I don't go to strip clubs to fuck 4s, no matter how horny they are
discussion comment
7 years ago
-->"But why does she show some interest? Why? (Texting and talking on phone so often and after club chilling) That is what is confusing me. She doesn't have to. She doesn't have to and don't think she would if there wasn't some interest "
She's got you all tied up in knots, that's your answer: texting and talking and after club chilling keeps you deeply hooked. You're not going to get anything else, and your obsession about how much she likes you is incredibly unhealthy for you; move on for your own good
discussion comment
7 years ago
-->"-I always tipped and was never cheap
-NEVER got a lap dance
-Never let a girl catch me looking at her body for more than a split second
-Always ask the strippers about themselves and was super mystical when they asked about me. For example: so what's your job? "This and that."
-I never went at night
-I would watch the TV more than the girls, and sit alone"
I've had a handful of stripper friends-with-benefits. I will tell you, other than "never go at night" and "don't be cheap", I didn't follow a single part of your strategy -- in fact, to a pretty good extent I did the opposite, always: I always got dances, I was open about my admiration for her body and sexuality, am fine answering questions about me at least until my privacy limits (and, in fact, often told funny stories about myself), almost always SC with my buddies and never sit alone, and don't bother watching TV (nor am I so naive as to think I'm cleverly fooling the strippers into thinking I"m at a strip club but I don't care about naked girls lol). Opposite.
-->"If you want to be with a stripper you must have your game face on and never deviate from the plan. If you get a couch dance, brag about yourself or stare at ass, you're going to be just another Joe and they'll never be interested. Basically do the opposite of what everyone in a strip club does."
Again, I got dances, was always open about what I was there for (and let's be serious, do you really think you fooled the stripper into thinking you were at a strip club but totally disengaged, because you didn't "stare at ass"???), I basically followed the opposite of all your advice and got stripper benefits, not once, but a few times.
I think sometimes, we guys follow some goofy process that makes us feel like we're a genius, it leads to some success, and we attribute that success to the process. Likely, you luckily found the right girl at the right time, were perhaps a bit more handsome and interesting than you're letting on, etc. You got that stripper DESPITE all the mystical stuff and pretending you're above being in a strip club, not because of it, I'd bet.
discussion comment
7 years ago
I think you may be taking some playful teasing way too seriously. This is like the tuscl version of the SW girls who get all bent out of shape about a customer asking about her tattoo
discussion comment
7 years ago
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Papi_ChuloMiami, FL (or the nearest big-booty club)
One way dance = FUCKING USELESS
I'm sure I'd have a different opinion if I were an LDKer, but I'm not. In clubs I can't touch at all, I'd rather just have fun sitting and drinking with her at the table (where, ironically, I can almost always touch her), and work to arrange OTC -- I have no interest at all in paying the club and her for a dance I won't enjoy, I far more enjoy paying her under the table for surreptitious groping and socializing and OTC arranging (and bonus to her -- she doesn't have to split any cash I give her with the club)
discussion comment
7 years ago
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Jascoimr.wonderful to single moms and college age girls...
Papi ... I'd be surprised if it's even legal to charge you for parking on a public street, although I imagine that if you complained to the city, they could just call it something different.
Are these fees for "self parking" different than an entrance fee? And you don't get charged if you arrive via taxi or Uber, I assume? We don't have anything like these charges here, so I don't quite know what to think of them!
discussion comment
7 years ago
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Doces300You can run but you will only die tired
I think Doces is in kid-in-a-candy-store mode. Remember, this girl was a 7 (if I remember right from previous post)... give it some time, you won't be getting so giddy over a 7 sending you some nude pics. But I wouldn't begrudge you enjoying it for now
discussion comment
7 years ago
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Doces300You can run but you will only die tired
^^ That's exactly what I was thinking ... I always answer that question, since I don't see any downside in doing so. If she's not my type, my answers let her know right away; not that I'm shy about letting her know directly in any case, it's just that if she's going to open that door, I'm happy to step through. And if she is my type, I'll often answer "girls who look like you", and I may add in some examples, or I may not, depending on whether I feel it's any of her business at that moment. Of course, unlike Chili, I do like to find one girl who I can ATF for a while... not monogamous out of loyalty, but because she blows me away trip after trip
discussion comment
7 years ago
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joc13firmly on the Atlanta United bandwagon!
^^^ the one thing I'd is -- and this is pretty key -- it's not just SDs and SBs, a huge percentage (the majority, in fact) of women are fine with per-meeting payments, in which case, SA is a higher-value lower-risk version of using escorts. In fact, based on Doces300's posts, that sounds exactly like how he's using it, to do one-time meetings with a woman who is otherwise an escort.
discussion comment
7 years ago
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Doces300You can run but you will only die tired
Ya, in general, getting the strippers drunk (instead of buzzed) is not a win ... anyone can be an obnoxious drunk, but as a group, strippers are more likely obnoxious, abrasive, and/or nasty drunks, and definitely often become completely un-sensual. I've ceased trying to get strippers drunk in the hopes of getting more action, because often it results in the *opposite*, less action, or she just becomes intolerable. Get her buzzed and fun, and whatever she does, she does.
discussion comment
7 years ago
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Doces300You can run but you will only die tired
Glad you're enjoying it! Looks like you're basically using SA as an alternative to backpage (that is, as a site for escort-like encounters), not to find an actual sugarbaby? This, BTW, is how I often use it, too... it's got the advantage over escorts that 1. you get to see her first, over drinks, before heading to the hotel, and 2. she doesn't time every second.