What am I doing.......
Joe_yy
I have posted on here before and am not a troll, I just don't know what I am doing at this club. It is a hole in the wall type, not fancy, bring your own alcohol place, it has covered top and bottom lap dances with moderate touching. Can grab ass, tits, legs, and briefly pussy over the panties and maybe very shortly under the panties. And brief tits exposed. No extras really. If extras then very very tame.
That is just to say how the club is. Now for further information on the situation I am 30. The stripper I will be talking about is 22 with a couple kids already, but single. She is hot latina with a phat ass nice titties very pretty. She is very cool to talk to and I have found myself seeming to get attached to her. In the last year and a half I've visited her at the club on and off let's say a couple times a month with monthly spending on her in the 2K range. Let's say out of the last 8 months 6 of those months have spent that.
Now more recently I have found myself texting her back and forth often talking to her on the phone often and visiting her at the club once a week again spending 700-900 a visit. I know it sounds like a lot or BS but that is what it is and it is not affecting me financially that is not the issue.
The issue is the attachment issue. She will spend the whole night with me at the club 4,5,6 hours. And after we will talk in the car for an hour or get something to eat. But that is it. No extras, and again no extras in the club except more acceptable for roaming hands during dances, but not as far as fingering but I could chalk that up to club rules, although I think it could be done if she was down because I don't think the club would see.
She claims she will do something otc not services just hanging out or something, which would be okay but has not happened yet. She is busy with kids but it seems like she could make time at some point for hanging out but not yet.
I do know that her hanging out after a club visit is not something she does with other customers, although I realize she might be throwing me a bone for the high spending. Still she must not completely dislike me because otherwise she wouldn't even do that, she is not pressed for money, meaning even if I stopped spending on her she would make something anyway and is not the type to ask for anything as she hasn't, she is confident so she doesn't ask for anything ever.
So I guess what I'm trying to convey is she must not completely dislike me but at the same time not be interested enough to pursue anything otc very much even just hanging out. And my question is, is it completely stupid to be attached to this dancer and spend this amount. Is it useless to continue this way. Maybe I am looking for something that she is not interested in and maybe she just won't do otc extras no matter what I spend. I guess it's possible she just wants to keep everything mostly in the club. But why does she show some interest? Why? (Texting and talking on phone so often and after club chilling) That is what is confusing me. She doesn't have to. She doesn't have to and don't think she would if there wasn't some interest
and again not only money interest because the money would be the same anyway.
That is just to say how the club is. Now for further information on the situation I am 30. The stripper I will be talking about is 22 with a couple kids already, but single. She is hot latina with a phat ass nice titties very pretty. She is very cool to talk to and I have found myself seeming to get attached to her. In the last year and a half I've visited her at the club on and off let's say a couple times a month with monthly spending on her in the 2K range. Let's say out of the last 8 months 6 of those months have spent that.
Now more recently I have found myself texting her back and forth often talking to her on the phone often and visiting her at the club once a week again spending 700-900 a visit. I know it sounds like a lot or BS but that is what it is and it is not affecting me financially that is not the issue.
The issue is the attachment issue. She will spend the whole night with me at the club 4,5,6 hours. And after we will talk in the car for an hour or get something to eat. But that is it. No extras, and again no extras in the club except more acceptable for roaming hands during dances, but not as far as fingering but I could chalk that up to club rules, although I think it could be done if she was down because I don't think the club would see.
She claims she will do something otc not services just hanging out or something, which would be okay but has not happened yet. She is busy with kids but it seems like she could make time at some point for hanging out but not yet.
I do know that her hanging out after a club visit is not something she does with other customers, although I realize she might be throwing me a bone for the high spending. Still she must not completely dislike me because otherwise she wouldn't even do that, she is not pressed for money, meaning even if I stopped spending on her she would make something anyway and is not the type to ask for anything as she hasn't, she is confident so she doesn't ask for anything ever.
So I guess what I'm trying to convey is she must not completely dislike me but at the same time not be interested enough to pursue anything otc very much even just hanging out. And my question is, is it completely stupid to be attached to this dancer and spend this amount. Is it useless to continue this way. Maybe I am looking for something that she is not interested in and maybe she just won't do otc extras no matter what I spend. I guess it's possible she just wants to keep everything mostly in the club. But why does she show some interest? Why? (Texting and talking on phone so often and after club chilling) That is what is confusing me. She doesn't have to. She doesn't have to and don't think she would if there wasn't some interest
and again not only money interest because the money would be the same anyway.
Comments
last commentIf you want something different, you're going to have to break the pattern or talk to her specifically about what you want.
When she claims to be busy with the kids, she is probably busy with her boyfriend. Or busy with other customers who get sex for the money they spend on her.
You can: (1) Keep wasting your money on her. (2) Tell her you need to get sex or you're dropping her. (3) Find another stripper or floozy who will treat you right. For $2K you should be swimming in pussy.
jackslash is completely right. While I could afford to spend 2k/month on a girl I'm not getting sex from (wait a minute, I am doing that - she's my wife), I would never choose to do that (with anyone else).
As a comparison, I spend about 1k per month on my current SA girl and that gets me 4 to 8 dates per month where a date is anything from dinner (sometimes in a SC) and a quickie in the car, to an overnight date where we end up having sex multiple times (she's only a 6, but she's insatiable).
Throw in another $200 to $250 to occasionally have an OTC stripper join us, and I'm getting sucked and fucked 10-15 times a month for about 1.5k
It's pretty simple kids or not if they like you they make time for you and the absolutely give you the pussy as a show of appreciation and affection. She's using your decent values against you. Where are you feel like you're not going to pressure her for ass. So now she can take all your money and not have to give you sex and she's comfortable with that situation. She definitely most likely has a boyfriend because if she likes you even a little bit you'd already be having sex. There isn't a woman in the world that is so careful that after a few months she hasn't sized up whether she can trust you or not.
My devices continue to go to the club tell her that you're there to have fun and see other strippers if she trips on you then she definitely only sees you as an ATM and any money you spend on any other girl is money you are quote unquote taking away from her she'll be pissed and she will stop talking to you if she really liked you she let you do it because it's not really about the money.
You need to drop the bitch immediately before she bleeds you dry any further, you should stop strip clubbing, and you should go on line or to an ap and find a girlfriend. You probably won’t do any of that but it would be the right move.
But let me add two points. Decide what you are looking for. SC's are great but not for finding a GF/real relationship. I think you can learn that from most people on here who at some point have been caught-up in the stripper web. That should give you clarity of purpose.
Secondly, you state the money is not an issue, but focus on the word Value. Would you pay $50k for a Corolla just because you can afford it? If you want her for a GF/SO, well she's worth everything you have. Just understand you're buying a GF then. If you want sex you absolutely have to factor value to not get taken advantage of.
Example, guy 1 pays $200 for sex with girl he's friendly with.
Guy 2 pays $500 for sex with same girl, gets basic sex, not very much fun with same girl, who thinks she has him around her finger. Additionally, she hits him up for more cash occasionally because she can and he lets her. Value.
Where you live but you're already supporting this girl and her family, you should have a key.
Even a GF gives in completely when you pay that much.
I don't know whether to trust you or not.
Cut your losses and move on. You’ve got no chance of getting anywhere with this dancer - as you’re setup as a RIL -
She's got you all tied up in knots, that's your answer: texting and talking and after club chilling keeps you deeply hooked. You're not going to get anything else, and your obsession about how much she likes you is incredibly unhealthy for you; move on for your own good
Why would a dancer do anything more than she had to if you're a guaranteed 2K a month already?
In the end, she was just stringing me along and taking advantage of my captain save-a-hoe newness to the strip club world and its workings.
As other have said, you’re being played. Just being honest and speaking from past experience that is very similar to yours.
Well, that's subjective. If you're happy with how things are now, and not spending outside your means, then it's not stupid. It may not be what others here would want, but that's irrelevant. Flip side ... if you're not happy wiht how things are now, and it's not looking like that's going to change, then it is some degree of stupid. Spending a bunch of money to pine away for a sex worker seems like bad math to me.
"Is it useless to continue this way."
Well, if things aren't going to change, then yes. Yes it is.
"But why does she show some interest? Why?"
Because she's leveraging your attachment issues into easy money. I mean, it's nice that you two talk and such. Then again, you're laying out a lot of money to not get laid.
Never chase, just replace.
Quit, now, cold turkey. You're being played. Take two months off and renegotiate the deal. Be polite but firm on what your cash buys you.
You also seem to think that you can buy affection. You can't. If a dancer doesn't care about you, offering her money is not going to change her mind.
What you're doing is completely messed up. You don't get a girlfriend by offering her money like a whore. And you aren't going to get anywhere with a whore by treating her like a girlfriend.
If you want to fuck her, then cut her off. I'm not normally this rude, but reading shit like this makes me angry for you. Don't give her one cent more unless she agrees to OTC. If she doesn't, and I expect she won't, then say goodbye and look elsewhere.
Time to move on and get more value for your dollar.
You’re spending way too much money and not getting any action.
But finding and keeping an actual real-life girlfriend can be a pain in the ass, and breaking up is hard to do. On the other hand, it's easy to ditch a stripper when you get tired of her; just stop showing up at her club during her shifts. Done.
Hence the much-vaunted Girlfriend Experience. Generally thought of as an ambiguous euphemism for sex that feels like you're having it with an actual human being as opposed to a hole in a wall, perhaps it also means whatever the OP is doing, as well. Regardless, most PLs fall into this trap at some point before they outgrow it. I know I have. There's really nothing wrong with it, as long as you acknowledge what you're doing. Just make sure that you cut it off when it gets too expensive. And don't let her string you along with promises of OTC. If that's really all you're after, give her a polite ultimatum immediately or seek it elsewhere. Because the way you're going about it, nothing's gonna happen without a change of tactics.
TUSCL has a long tradition of people coming here to get advice they can entirely ignore.
That is a brilliant analogy, thanks. I hope he takes stock of what he actually wants from his interactions with the stripper and acts accordingly.
There's only one way to find out, which is to pull your money for a time. When she eventually starts texting/calling to pull you back in the club, which she will, you need to play it cool and hang on. Then eventually, you can mosy back into the club and have a chat with her about spending and expectations.
When I've been in these situations, I've told the girl that she is very nice and I really like visiting her, but that I have too many other options with girls who I can do more things with to be dropping this much money just for company. She'll won't be confused - she'll know exactly what you're talking about. She'll also know that what you're saying is true and assume that you do too, even if you haven't really figured it out yet.
Now you may be thinking that applying a little pressure could end up hurting other chances with her, but in all honesty, you don't have any. In fact, she's opening up her legs for free to dipshits who put babies in her but can't support them, yet you've spent a lot of cash on her for months and can't get shit. If putting it in that frame makes you feel a little pathetic and stupid - it should.
It's now time for you to either make the best of it and get a little something out of it or move on. Or you can keep getting strung along for lots of cash while she continues to fuck broke dipshits for free. Your choice.