What am I doing.......

59 comments

• Joe_yy

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  7 years ago

  Also thank you for any comments and advice on this issue
• joc13

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  7 years ago

  What she is doing has you coming back to the club spending 2K a month on her. Sounds like she knows exactly what she's doing and she's getting exactly what she wants. If you want something different, you're going to have to break the pattern or talk to her specifically about what you want.
• clubdude

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  7 years ago

  I've been going to clubs for a long while (since the 80's), and I will always believe that it's the money. Do a test and cut back on the hours and cash and see it she still is the same way.
• Joe_yy

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  7 years ago

  Is it that some dancers just don't do otc extras or friends with benefits even if the show some interest.
• Joe_yy

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  7 years ago

  they*
• Joe_yy

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  7 years ago

  Because i really thought she is showing some interest but maybe not.
• jackslash

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  7 years ago

  Let me be brutally honest. For $2K a month you should be getting sucked and fucked. You know that's what you want. She knows that's what you want. She shows interest in you to keep you on the hook. When she claims to be busy with the kids, she is probably busy with her boyfriend. Or busy with other customers who get sex for the money they spend on her. You can: (1) Keep wasting your money on her. (2) Tell her you need to get sex or you're dropping her. (3) Find another stripper or floozy who will treat you right. For $2K you should be swimming in pussy.
• Joe_yy

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  7 years ago

  And if it is about money then why would she not do otc extras or friends with benefits because it doesn't seem like she will even for the money part the money is there but the otc isn't and that doesn't seem like it would change with more money or stopping the money.
• Joe_yy

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  7 years ago

  I don't think stopping the money would do anything. Or increasing it even though it shouldn't need increasing.....
• BurlingtonHoFactory

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  7 years ago

  I have mixed feelings on this. On the one hand she could be tricking you into spending money on her in exchange for promises that never materialize. On the other hand, you may be tricking yourself and she's just going along for the ride. Regardless, remind yourself that you do not want a relationship, either with her or with anyone else. If you did, you wouldn't be at a titty club. You're not doing anything wrong. Enjoy yourself.
• joc13

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  7 years ago

  If she can get 2k a month without doing extras or OTC, why would she voluntarily start doing them? jackslash is completely right. While I could afford to spend 2k/month on a girl I'm not getting sex from (wait a minute, I am doing that - she's my wife), I would never choose to do that (with anyone else). As a comparison, I spend about 1k per month on my current SA girl and that gets me 4 to 8 dates per month where a date is anything from dinner (sometimes in a SC) and a quickie in the car, to an overnight date where we end up having sex multiple times (she's only a 6, but she's insatiable). Throw in another $200 to $250 to occasionally have an OTC stripper join us, and I'm getting sucked and fucked 10-15 times a month for about 1.5k
• GACA

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  7 years ago

  Very painful to read what you wrote. Sound like a decent guy and you don't understand women or more to the point women from desperate upbringing. It's pretty simple kids or not if they like you they make time for you and the absolutely give you the pussy as a show of appreciation and affection. She's using your decent values against you. Where are you feel like you're not going to pressure her for ass. So now she can take all your money and not have to give you sex and she's comfortable with that situation. She definitely most likely has a boyfriend because if she likes you even a little bit you'd already be having sex. There isn't a woman in the world that is so careful that after a few months she hasn't sized up whether she can trust you or not. My devices continue to go to the club tell her that you're there to have fun and see other strippers if she trips on you then she definitely only sees you as an ATM and any money you spend on any other girl is money you are quote unquote taking away from her she'll be pissed and she will stop talking to you if she really liked you she let you do it because it's not really about the money.
• GACA

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  7 years ago

  And sorry you have to read through that muddled speech to text
• GACA

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  7 years ago

  Also nobody's trying to turn you into a cynic but some healthy cynicism would serve you well on learning how to read a situation to your advantage and not your disadvantage
• flagooner

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  7 years ago

  Sounds like you have an acute case of RIL. I agree with BHF that you are deluding yourself and she is just along for the ride, raking it in.
• JohnSmith69

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  7 years ago

  You should not be strip clubbing. Because you want a girlfriend, and a strip club is the worst place on earth to find any type of legit girlfriend. And if I read it wrong and you just want sex, you should still stop strip clubbing immediately because you have no clue what you’re doing and the girls are taking advantage of you in a massive way. You need to drop the bitch immediately before she bleeds you dry any further, you should stop strip clubbing, and you should go on line or to an ap and find a girlfriend. You probably won’t do any of that but it would be the right move.
• lick-that

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  7 years ago

  I'll just second what everyone else has already said. But let me add two points. Decide what you are looking for. SC's are great but not for finding a GF/real relationship. I think you can learn that from most people on here who at some point have been caught-up in the stripper web. That should give you clarity of purpose. Secondly, you state the money is not an issue, but focus on the word Value. Would you pay $50k for a Corolla just because you can afford it? If you want her for a GF/SO, well she's worth everything you have. Just understand you're buying a GF then. If you want sex you absolutely have to factor value to not get taken advantage of. Example, guy 1 pays $200 for sex with girl he's friendly with. Guy 2 pays $500 for sex with same girl, gets basic sex, not very much fun with same girl, who thinks she has him around her finger. Additionally, she hits him up for more cash occasionally because she can and he lets her. Value.
• lick-that

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  7 years ago

  Btw $2k month, you might want to use the term Sugar-Baby to her and see from there. Idk Where you live but you're already supporting this girl and her family, you should have a key.
• Bj99

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  7 years ago

  Oh goodie. I was missing the RIL posts. Okay, I followed your last discussion. Is this the same girl?
• PrimetimeSchein

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  7 years ago

  My friend you need to join Seeking Arrangements. 2K and no pussy is a national tragedy. Take the advice listed above
• twentyfive

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  7 years ago

  You’re being played bro, you need more roughage. You are just constipated.
• Darkblue999

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  7 years ago

  You spent 12k total on that girl and you got nothing. Even a GF gives in completely when you pay that much. I don't know whether to trust you or not.
• ATACdawg

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  7 years ago

  SMH. :-/
• Uprightcitizen

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  7 years ago

  Well my friend you are a dancers dream customer. Its your money....oh wait its hers now.
• JohnTitor

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  7 years ago

  Duh. You're getting played and wasting your time and $$$$. You seem like an okay without a clue in the world.
• Cashman1234

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  7 years ago

  This will be harsh - but you should cut her off - and move on - to a new club. If you don’t cut her off - you will continue to spend $$$$ - and get nothing in return. If you drop her - and try another dancer in her club - the word will spread that you are an easy mark/ATM - and another dancer will string you along. Cut your losses and move on. You’ve got no chance of getting anywhere with this dancer - as you’re setup as a RIL -
• lookingforpink

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  7 years ago

  What Jackslash said!!
• Subraman

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  7 years ago

  -->"But why does she show some interest? Why? (Texting and talking on phone so often and after club chilling) That is what is confusing me. She doesn't have to. She doesn't have to and don't think she would if there wasn't some interest " She's got you all tied up in knots, that's your answer: texting and talking and after club chilling keeps you deeply hooked. You're not going to get anything else, and your obsession about how much she likes you is incredibly unhealthy for you; move on for your own good
• wallanon

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  7 years ago

  What joc and jackslash said. Which is basically what js69 said, but nicer. Why would a dancer do anything more than she had to if you're a guaranteed 2K a month already?
• warhawks

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  7 years ago

  I had a similar situation when I first started out clubbing. In the end, she was just stringing me along and taking advantage of my captain save-a-hoe newness to the strip club world and its workings. As other have said, you’re being played. Just being honest and speaking from past experience that is very similar to yours.
• GACA

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  7 years ago

  A stripper once said to me point blank "any guy that walks through that door us gullible as fuck"
• Rickberge

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  7 years ago

  ^^^Damn... that statement just blew my stripclub high
• Call.Me.Ishmael

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  7 years ago

  "And my question is, is it completely stupid to be attached to this dancer and spend this amount?" Well, that's subjective. If you're happy with how things are now, and not spending outside your means, then it's not stupid. It may not be what others here would want, but that's irrelevant. Flip side ... if you're not happy wiht how things are now, and it's not looking like that's going to change, then it is some degree of stupid. Spending a bunch of money to pine away for a sex worker seems like bad math to me. "Is it useless to continue this way." Well, if things aren't going to change, then yes. Yes it is. "But why does she show some interest? Why?" Because she's leveraging your attachment issues into easy money. I mean, it's nice that you two talk and such. Then again, you're laying out a lot of money to not get laid.
• Uprightcitizen

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  7 years ago

  @GACA ...were you offended by being called Gullible Fuck (GF) and correct her by stating the proper title is Pathetic Loser (PL)?
• JohnSmith69

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  7 years ago

  I wasn't "nice" cause I suspect this is a troll, his denials notwithstanding. But if he's legit then he needs a lot of tough love.
• Joe_yy

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  7 years ago

  It is the same dancer. And even if the money was stopped or increased to leverage otc extras or friends with benefits I don't now if she would do it perhaps some dancers just don't do it as rules for themselves even for a high amount. Also I would like better mileage itc like under the panties touching which at this point is there but very brief.....
• GACA

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  7 years ago

  @upright ya it did sting a little. But at the same time thanks to this sight I knew i was at least less gullible as the rest of the fucks :)
• GACA

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  7 years ago

  Also to me her comment reflected her bad businesses model more than the actual truth. But ya that bit of insight did get me to curb my spending (on her anyway)
• GACA

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  7 years ago

  Shadow cat was with me when I blew through $2500 at Follies one trip. God that was a great visit.
• sslv2006

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  7 years ago

  Learned a new term today. RIL. That sounds like me. Joe__yy is there too I think.
• Mistah_Fetti_Morbuxxx

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  7 years ago

  That is way too much time and money to invest in one dancer. If I don't get any play or action by the third encounter then I just forget about her and move on to the next. Never chase, just replace.
• shadowcat

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  7 years ago

  Damn GACA, I remember being there but didn't realize that you went through that much. Did you buy the VIP room? :)
• GACA

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  7 years ago

  @shadow well one girl I had to have got me for double the rate an hour. And then ya I damn near rented that space all day :)
• GACA

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  7 years ago

  I don't think I ever nutted so much in my life
• JamesSD

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  7 years ago

  I typically get more mileage than you in a $20 dance. Quit, now, cold turkey. You're being played. Take two months off and renegotiate the deal. Be polite but firm on what your cash buys you.
• anonlvone

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  7 years ago

  I read the response from JohnSmith69 and then stopped reading as he pretty much covers it all. You don't seem to know what you want. My read is that you have this confused idea this dancer might like you. She doesn't. Okay? Can we get that clear? [view link].All You also seem to think that you can buy affection. You can't. If a dancer doesn't care about you, offering her money is not going to change her mind. What you're doing is completely messed up. You don't get a girlfriend by offering her money like a whore. And you aren't going to get anywhere with a whore by treating her like a girlfriend. If you want to fuck her, then cut her off. I'm not normally this rude, but reading shit like this makes me angry for you. Don't give her one cent more unless she agrees to OTC. If she doesn't, and I expect she won't, then say goodbye and look elsewhere.
• rh48hr

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  7 years ago

  At $2000 a month I best be nutting between 6-10 times in that month with her. Time to move on and get more value for your dollar.
• anonlvone

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  7 years ago

  I just read another of your posts. At age 30, you don't seem to have any actual knowledge or experience with women. And the amount of money you're spending is absurd. You should not be in strip clubs. You're like every stripper's PL dream come true.
• Bj99

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  7 years ago

  This sounds like the same girl as last time. Did you try any of the advice ppl gave you?
• Subraman

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  7 years ago

  To tie in another awesome tuscl thread, do you ever smell her ass? [view link] Like she's dancing for you, and bends over and waves her ass in your face and you, you know, stick your nose into her asscrack and inhale? It would at least be an amusing interpretation of what you're doing to her anyway!
• SirLapdancealot

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  7 years ago

  ^ @Subraman IMHO I think juicebox69's thread about getting pegged is a little more appropriate here.
• larryfisherman

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  7 years ago

  “What am I doing” You’re spending way too much money and not getting any action.
• BurlingtonHoFactory

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  7 years ago

  There actually are some valid reasons for doing what the OP says he's doing. Even men seem to need some kind of emotional connection and validation from time to time, believe it or not. It isn't just for bitches anymore LOL. But finding and keeping an actual real-life girlfriend can be a pain in the ass, and breaking up is hard to do. On the other hand, it's easy to ditch a stripper when you get tired of her; just stop showing up at her club during her shifts. Done. Hence the much-vaunted Girlfriend Experience. Generally thought of as an ambiguous euphemism for sex that feels like you're having it with an actual human being as opposed to a hole in a wall, perhaps it also means whatever the OP is doing, as well. Regardless, most PLs fall into this trap at some point before they outgrow it. I know I have. There's really nothing wrong with it, as long as you acknowledge what you're doing. Just make sure that you cut it off when it gets too expensive. And don't let her string you along with promises of OTC. If that's really all you're after, give her a polite ultimatum immediately or seek it elsewhere. Because the way you're going about it, nothing's gonna happen without a change of tactics.
• Jascoi

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  7 years ago

  sometimes learning is expensive. can be quite the teacher.
• Call.Me.Ishmael

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  7 years ago

  "Did you try any of the advice ppl gave you?" TUSCL has a long tradition of people coming here to get advice they can entirely ignore.
• TheFword

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  7 years ago

  It's like if you went to a car rental place and paid for a car but didn't get the keys. You can look at it, talk to it, touch the outside, but you can't get in and drive it where you want to go. It is the coolest car you've ever seen, but you need to go places. Don't keep going back.
• BurlingtonHoFactory

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  7 years ago

  @TheFword, That is a brilliant analogy, thanks. I hope he takes stock of what he actually wants from his interactions with the stripper and acts accordingly.
• Jascoi

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  7 years ago

  seems joe is still in the 101 class of enjoying strippers. i am SO much beyond that. i'm in stripper 102.
• rickdugan

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  7 years ago

  Joe_yy posted: "And even if the money was stopped or increased to leverage otc extras or friends with benefits I don't now if she would do it perhaps some dancers just don't do it as rules for themselves even for a high amount." There's only one way to find out, which is to pull your money for a time. When she eventually starts texting/calling to pull you back in the club, which she will, you need to play it cool and hang on. Then eventually, you can mosy back into the club and have a chat with her about spending and expectations. When I've been in these situations, I've told the girl that she is very nice and I really like visiting her, but that I have too many other options with girls who I can do more things with to be dropping this much money just for company. She'll won't be confused - she'll know exactly what you're talking about. She'll also know that what you're saying is true and assume that you do too, even if you haven't really figured it out yet. Now you may be thinking that applying a little pressure could end up hurting other chances with her, but in all honesty, you don't have any. In fact, she's opening up her legs for free to dipshits who put babies in her but can't support them, yet you've spent a lot of cash on her for months and can't get shit. If putting it in that frame makes you feel a little pathetic and stupid - it should. It's now time for you to either make the best of it and get a little something out of it or move on. Or you can keep getting strung along for lots of cash while she continues to fuck broke dipshits for free. Your choice.