Are OTC meetups generally safe? A concern that I have is getting blindsided by a set-up or some ulterior motive. Conversely, how does the stripper protect herself by coming to my hotel room alone? I'm a good guy, but hypothetically what if she went to meet a guy who turned out to be a psycho? If she comes to my room, is there someone else who knows that's she's there with me? (because I want to be discreet) Am I being too paranoid? I go out on the road for work every couple of weeks and I have an ATF in one of the clubs that I frequent. She recently gave me her number when I asked her if she was up for OTC. But at the same time I'm wondering if there are any precautions that I should take? Or am I just overthinking something that would otherwise be a good time?
Worst case she has her boyfriend and his friends rob and kill you, but you'll probably be OK. If she suddenly heads for the door after getting a text or there is a knock, you can just restrain her and catch a false imprisonment charge, so I wouldn't worry too much.
I think it's natural -- and smart -- to at least spend a moment thinking the safety topics through. After all, there are occasional stories in the newspaper about strippers who set up their customer for robbery or murder. On the other hand, this isn't really a super high risk endeavor, if you can't think it through and get past it, maybe it's not for you.
For myself, I think the keys include:
- Pick a great stripper. The strippers who end up in the newspaper for killing their customers, look exactly like I would imagine stripper look like who would kill their customers.
- Don't go to her place, you don't know what's waiting there for you.
- Don't go to your place, you don't know her well enough to have her know where you live (not an issue for you since you're traveling)
- Frankly, I don't even tell her which hotel we're going to, until we go there together. We meet for drinks and dinner, and then we just go to the hotel. She does know the room number until we get to the room and I say, "Okay, here's our room".
- I trust my instincts. I've never had it happen, but if there's weirdness, I'd bail.
I usually like to have her name and know where she works at before meeting up with her. I like to build up a sense of trust first. A long time ago I could feel a sense of trust if I saw her tits first or she danced for me. I don't trust civvie girls trying to take me home out of the blue in a strip club. I don't know their name or anything. Now if they showed me their tits first, we'd be half way there.
Since strippers often don't have reliable cars, or non-suspended driver's licenses, or want to get wasted while they're on a date, I've had some luck getting strippers to agree to let me pick them up for our dates. That puts me a little more in control of things.
Otherwise, listen to Subraman. I have, and my SC and OTC game have improved dramatically.
I agree with him that's it natural to be concerned at first. I remember how worried I was the first time I did an outcall with an escort. Several 100 p4p dates later (over 30 years) and I've yet to have a bad encounter (other than general sex worker flakiness).
I really don't think you are overthinking it, but this is a high risk, high reward hobby. These are girls who have criminal boyfriends and dealers, many are criminals themselves. You could get robbed, etc. and may lose your job and/or your family as you are travelling for work. Probably does not happen often, but it does happen. I narrowly escaped a set up once mainly because my choice for OTC had an BF who was too lazy to show up and do whatever to me. (she actually gave me her real name and I found out she just got out of jail from a crime that involved force and her boyfriend). I think I am cautious, but I was clearly thinking with the wrong head.
A few ways to be safer. 1. If you travel frequently to the same place, don't go OTC on the first meeting. 2. Don't go to her place. 3. If taking her to your hotel, try not to give her which hotel too early. 4. Research her phone number.
Most likely, someone knows where she is, so hopefully, it is just a friend and not a crime partner.
This is one of the top 5 repeated topics here. Search back in both Discussions and Articles and you will find many viewpoints.
Ultimately, OTC is as safe or risky as you want it to be based on your own comfort level. There are guys here who are more cautious (like me) and other guys here who are more "Whatever! YOLO! I don't remember getting that scar! What do you mean I'm missing a kidney?!"
I've lost track of how many girls I've taken OTC and I have never once had a safety concern. I've had four simple rules that I've used for years now and I don't really have to give it any more thought than that:
First, control the space, meaning pick the spot. This is especially important when on the road in an unfamiliar club, where a nicer hotel with interior entrances is a nice way of minimizing problems. But when at a home club in familiar surroundings, anything that I control will do.
Second, never pay upfront. Ever. It is a deal breaker for me and I will walk. I have never had to as the threat of walking has always been enough. Only girls that really have no intention of going through with it will put their foot down on prepayment.
Third, take girls that have been dancing at the club for a while. These girls don't want problems any more than most customers do since, of course, you know where they work and they often have local roots. IME every girl that has ever given me any type of real problem OTC was one of the transient ones.
Finally, trust your gut. If a girl is acting strange, defensive or squirrely then there is something wrong. I've backed out of my share of OTC events pre-meetup when I got a bad vibe. There are plenty of girls out there who are fun and uncomplicated - you don't need any one girl so badly that you should ignore your instincts when they are trying to tell you something.
Easy peasy. These rules are so simple and ingrained now that I don't really think about it much anymore. I've also broken the third rule a number of times when I got a good (meaning calm) feeling from the girl, but it's a nice place to start when you are learning to hone your instincts a bit more.
Thanks for the input guys! As suggested I'll search for more OTC threads but this pretty much sums up everything I need to know. I googled the phone number and it happens to go to a name and address that's about 5 miles away from the club so that's gives me some degree of comfort. She doesn't strike me as being crazy compared to some of the others that I've been with and I hope that her affection for me is just an act and she isn't really clingy. I figured that I'd wait for the last night of my trip or the morning of my checkout so that when she's gone, so am I. (ok.. I'll stop overthinking this) but because I drive a company owned vehicle with the logo, address, and phone number plastered all over it, she'll have to meet me at the hotel. I'll just have her call me when she gets in the parking lot. I feel like I've built up trust with her even though we've told each other a bunch of lies about our lives ;)
Rick, I'll trust your advice about not paying upfront. I just don't want to be in a situation where there's a disagreement on the final amount. Sometimes strippers will hustle you in the club where you ask for 1 or 2 dances and then they'll just keep going until you tell them stop. Sometimes the songs run together and if you aren't paying attention or counting the songs, you're up to 5 dances and now you gotta to the ATM. I just want to have fun and lose myself in the moment until the party is over. I don't want to have to think about whether I am unknowingly agreeing to more services than I'm prepared to pay for.
You are not, in fact, overthinking it, at least not yet. Many of the suggestions already listed will help you stay safe, but there will *always* be a risk, especially if she’s a drug user.
I have had exactly *one* incident that could have been life threatening, and that was with a girl I’d seen a few times prior with no problem at all. (Fortunately, the presence of Mr. Ninemillimeterjacketedhollowpoint defused the situation.)
So, the bottom line is that it’s your comfort level, and you’ll need to decide what level of risk you’re willing to assume.
-->"Rick, I'll trust your advice about not paying upfront. I just don't want to be in a situation where there's a disagreement on the final amount."
I didn't mention anything about paying up front because that's not a safety thing (as in, your physical safety won't be threatened), but a common sense thing. Even if you don't pay up front, strippers don't show up for OTCs pretty often -- paying up front is just begging to get ripped off. Even if she doesn't *intend* to rip you off, you have to remember many of these girls live their lives from crisis to crisis, and if one of the usual crises hits and she already has your money ... well, she's not showing, and you more than deserve what you get.
I didn't say it, but in addition to the things I said, I always do some light screening. Pretty much 100% of the time, I can find her personal facebook page, and from there her instagram etc., and there has been a time where we discovered a stripper was living thug life (or appeared to be), and my buddy called off the OTC.
Subraman posted: "I didn't mention anything about paying up front because that's not a safety thing (as in, your physical safety won't be threatened), but a common sense thing."
I agree with the common sense part, but disagree with the theory that it is not a safety issue.
In my younger years, almost every serious issue I've ever had in a hotel room - invariably with one of the transient types - involved a situation where I caved in and payed upfront. It makes you look like a mark and encourages a variety of bad behaviors, from grab and dash to upselling and other general bad behaviors. It's a small jump from this type of stuff to more serious problems, especially if things escalate. It's all about maintaining control, including making a simple p4p event the easiest path to the cash.
Jack, rest assured that if a girl absolutely insists on payment upfront, then you were never going to get laid anyway, just conned. Also, once you've agreed to an amount and you are still holding the cash, it is highly unlikely that she is going to do anything midstream to risk not getting paid. And if she tries to shake you down for more than you agreed to at the end, what's she going to do if you refuse to give her more? Call the cops? Sue you? LOL. These girls don't respect weakness - they prey on it. The best way to ensure that your time is drama free is for them to believe that fucking around is not in their best interest.
It's anecdotal, but I've had a fair number of girls over to my home and as I think I've mentioned before: my biggest problems were some spilt drinks and one girl who walked off with a rocks glass. The girl who took the glass returned it without me asking, and threw in a good time as an apology. I've had more problems with regular civilian girls stealing things, breaking things, or trying to come back uninvited.
There's some good advice here, and some stuff is probably overkill. But, I think the most important advice was to follow your gut. If you feel sketched out, cut bait and move on. It's about what makes you comfortable. I'm more comfortable having dancers over at my home than I am in a hotel. I've picked up girls from their home and brought them to mine, I've met them on neutral ground, I've texted them my address. My situation may not match yours and not every situation is the same.
More great advice! Thanks! Honestly there's nothing about this ATF that scares me or makes me think that there will be a problem. I also consider that if she wants me to bring more money next time I come into town and spend it on her, she's probably not going mess it up whether it be ITC or OTC. I don't know how much money she gets from other guys but but I'd guess that I'm one of her better customers.
In addition to what's been mentioned, a fair # of SCers use burn-apps on their phones as to not have to give their real # which can be traced to your identity - not so much a safety-thing but helps stay w/ the anonymity-angle many SCers prefer to have
I've seen 5 strippers a total of 23 times OTC in the past two years and don't think you should be unduly worried. In every case but one, we had already done a number of VIPs ITC and had a high level of comfort with each other, so seeing each other OTC was a natural progression.
Even the exception went well: just before Thanksgiving I messaged a dancer who is a FB friend but was otherwise unknown to me, asking her if she was working the next night. She said she was but that we could also meet for "private fun". As I was on my way to her club the next night she messaged me again to tell me that the club was dead but that she would meet me for drinks and we would take it from there. Since she doesn't drink alcohol (!), we met at a Denny's, got to know each other over breakfast food and iced tea, and then retired to my nearby hotel room for a nice blowie. Now she's in my OTC rotation!
My advice is:
* Get to know the girl first. Make sure she's local and has been at the club for a while.
* Don't pay up front!
* Meet her at a restaurant or in the hotel lobby so that she doesn't have the room number long in advance.
If you already know and trust her, even this last bit of advice is unnecessary. With my regular OTC girl the last few months, I check into a motel in her city at noon, text her the room number, and she's there to pleasure me within half an hour.
Now that I look at it, I see that my advice is essentially identical to Rick Dugan's. That's OK -- seeing strippers doesn't have to be complicated or dangerous. Just don't take stupid chances.
This has been discussed a couple dozen times. Just read the old threads and then have fun. If you are too nervous and can't get over it then it might not be for you.
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For myself, I think the keys include:
- Pick a great stripper. The strippers who end up in the newspaper for killing their customers, look exactly like I would imagine stripper look like who would kill their customers.
- Don't go to her place, you don't know what's waiting there for you.
- Don't go to your place, you don't know her well enough to have her know where you live (not an issue for you since you're traveling)
- Frankly, I don't even tell her which hotel we're going to, until we go there together. We meet for drinks and dinner, and then we just go to the hotel. She does know the room number until we get to the room and I say, "Okay, here's our room".
- I trust my instincts. I've never had it happen, but if there's weirdness, I'd bail.
That's about it. Have fun!
Otherwise, listen to Subraman. I have, and my SC and OTC game have improved dramatically.
I agree with him that's it natural to be concerned at first. I remember how worried I was the first time I did an outcall with an escort. Several 100 p4p dates later (over 30 years) and I've yet to have a bad encounter (other than general sex worker flakiness).
A few ways to be safer. 1. If you travel frequently to the same place, don't go OTC on the first meeting. 2. Don't go to her place. 3. If taking her to your hotel, try not to give her which hotel too early. 4. Research her phone number.
Most likely, someone knows where she is, so hopefully, it is just a friend and not a crime partner.
Ultimately, OTC is as safe or risky as you want it to be based on your own comfort level. There are guys here who are more cautious (like me) and other guys here who are more "Whatever! YOLO! I don't remember getting that scar! What do you mean I'm missing a kidney?!"
Subraman gives good advice.
First, control the space, meaning pick the spot. This is especially important when on the road in an unfamiliar club, where a nicer hotel with interior entrances is a nice way of minimizing problems. But when at a home club in familiar surroundings, anything that I control will do.
Second, never pay upfront. Ever. It is a deal breaker for me and I will walk. I have never had to as the threat of walking has always been enough. Only girls that really have no intention of going through with it will put their foot down on prepayment.
Third, take girls that have been dancing at the club for a while. These girls don't want problems any more than most customers do since, of course, you know where they work and they often have local roots. IME every girl that has ever given me any type of real problem OTC was one of the transient ones.
Finally, trust your gut. If a girl is acting strange, defensive or squirrely then there is something wrong. I've backed out of my share of OTC events pre-meetup when I got a bad vibe. There are plenty of girls out there who are fun and uncomplicated - you don't need any one girl so badly that you should ignore your instincts when they are trying to tell you something.
Easy peasy. These rules are so simple and ingrained now that I don't really think about it much anymore. I've also broken the third rule a number of times when I got a good (meaning calm) feeling from the girl, but it's a nice place to start when you are learning to hone your instincts a bit more.
I have had exactly *one* incident that could have been life threatening, and that was with a girl I’d seen a few times prior with no problem at all. (Fortunately, the presence of Mr. Ninemillimeterjacketedhollowpoint defused the situation.)
So, the bottom line is that it’s your comfort level, and you’ll need to decide what level of risk you’re willing to assume.
I didn't mention anything about paying up front because that's not a safety thing (as in, your physical safety won't be threatened), but a common sense thing. Even if you don't pay up front, strippers don't show up for OTCs pretty often -- paying up front is just begging to get ripped off. Even if she doesn't *intend* to rip you off, you have to remember many of these girls live their lives from crisis to crisis, and if one of the usual crises hits and she already has your money ... well, she's not showing, and you more than deserve what you get.
I didn't say it, but in addition to the things I said, I always do some light screening. Pretty much 100% of the time, I can find her personal facebook page, and from there her instagram etc., and there has been a time where we discovered a stripper was living thug life (or appeared to be), and my buddy called off the OTC.
I agree with the common sense part, but disagree with the theory that it is not a safety issue.
In my younger years, almost every serious issue I've ever had in a hotel room - invariably with one of the transient types - involved a situation where I caved in and payed upfront. It makes you look like a mark and encourages a variety of bad behaviors, from grab and dash to upselling and other general bad behaviors. It's a small jump from this type of stuff to more serious problems, especially if things escalate. It's all about maintaining control, including making a simple p4p event the easiest path to the cash.
Jack, rest assured that if a girl absolutely insists on payment upfront, then you were never going to get laid anyway, just conned. Also, once you've agreed to an amount and you are still holding the cash, it is highly unlikely that she is going to do anything midstream to risk not getting paid. And if she tries to shake you down for more than you agreed to at the end, what's she going to do if you refuse to give her more? Call the cops? Sue you? LOL. These girls don't respect weakness - they prey on it. The best way to ensure that your time is drama free is for them to believe that fucking around is not in their best interest.
There's some good advice here, and some stuff is probably overkill. But, I think the most important advice was to follow your gut. If you feel sketched out, cut bait and move on. It's about what makes you comfortable. I'm more comfortable having dancers over at my home than I am in a hotel. I've picked up girls from their home and brought them to mine, I've met them on neutral ground, I've texted them my address. My situation may not match yours and not every situation is the same.
These type of robberies are more common when picking up a backpage escort and even then it isn't super common.
Even the exception went well: just before Thanksgiving I messaged a dancer who is a FB friend but was otherwise unknown to me, asking her if she was working the next night. She said she was but that we could also meet for "private fun". As I was on my way to her club the next night she messaged me again to tell me that the club was dead but that she would meet me for drinks and we would take it from there. Since she doesn't drink alcohol (!), we met at a Denny's, got to know each other over breakfast food and iced tea, and then retired to my nearby hotel room for a nice blowie. Now she's in my OTC rotation!
My advice is:
* Get to know the girl first. Make sure she's local and has been at the club for a while.
* Don't pay up front!
* Meet her at a restaurant or in the hotel lobby so that she doesn't have the room number long in advance.
If you already know and trust her, even this last bit of advice is unnecessary. With my regular OTC girl the last few months, I check into a motel in her city at noon, text her the room number, and she's there to pleasure me within half an hour.
Now that I look at it, I see that my advice is essentially identical to Rick Dugan's. That's OK -- seeing strippers doesn't have to be complicated or dangerous. Just don't take stupid chances.