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12 years ago
And BTW kittycunt, we think you're cool. Jes' don't be talking smack 'bout dude's junk. Sets us off like an H-fuckin-bomb
Of course, if ya wanted to talk 'bout our turtle dicks, that would be coo-el. Cuz turtles have enormous fukin' dicks. Some half their fuckin' body size. Some more. Dermochylys is a 1.7 meter turtle with a 2.2 meter schlong. Think about that. It is almost as big as mine. Fuck yeah!
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12 years ago
Damn straight Estafador, why can't we be friends. I mean we're all a bunch a crazy MFs, ain't we? Ev'rybody knows crazy MFs always get along. Don't they?
Drac jes' takes life a bit seriously sometimes. I suspect he is an OK dude in person. Internet jes' makes us all crazy. I mean, it's only life after all.
I wanna live like da juiceman! Saying' all sorts o' crazy ass shit! Never meanin' no harm. Jes' wantin' to have a little more fun than the law will allow. Fuck yeah!
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12 years ago
By the song, then slip the DJ a benjamin to play the extra long version of Freebird. A good live recording of Freebird should have a bass solo of at least 20 min. An at least 2 drum solos. Best time ever. When I was at university I saw this hot 18 year old blonde do a shower show then blow me after smokin' weed when we were sittin' on hay bails. Fuckin' coo-el!
Wait, I think that may be a memory of what happened when I saw a hippy chick dancing in the rain at an outdoor Skynyrd concert. I prolly smoked much weed I guess...
discussion comment
12 years ago
Dildos can be cool, as long as you get a good view. But I prefer my dick in their mouth.
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12 years ago
2001 is right across the street, also very safe. Lipstixx and Scarlett's have never been a problem either (other than some girls at the stixx being rough around the edges). Don't worry about Tampa. No worse than any other metro area, jes' use common sense!
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12 years ago
Juice, I think you should get that special little bitch's name tattooed on your face, just like Mike Tyson and that Maori thing he has on his face. That would be so fucking cool. You would truly be my hero dude!
discussion comment
12 years ago
Juice, I think you should get that special little bitch's name tattooed on your face, just like Mike Tyson and that Maori thing he has on his face. That would be so fucking cool. You would truly be my hero dude!
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12 years ago
Def sucks, but sometimes necessary. Back when I was a Buckeye (many moons ago) there was a nude club that was a private club. I think that they had to have a members only policy.
Avoid if I can, but I doubt that it can be as damaging as being on the client list at an escort service. Unless you go all Dick Cheny on their ass when the list comes out of course
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12 years ago
And fake spray on tans suck
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12 years ago
Red 100%, jes like my man juice. As long as the chick isn't fat or butterface, of course.
Then blonde with pale skin. Ideally no tattoos either, but hard to find that...
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12 years ago
Juice my man, if you don't pat yourself on the back who the fuck will. Prop yourself away!
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12 years ago
My advice is this: if your Sensations is a juice bar, go for it and start dancing.
If not Gatorfan has the right idea.
Regardless, why don't you post a picture. Might get some of us interested...
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12 years ago
But behind the scenes Romney is wearing a gimp mask and taking it up the ass from Carlos, his illegal alien lawnboy. But he would definitely want to close the strip club... (that is the Republican pattern)
Obama would have done better if he had gotten more intern blow jobs. Clinton was getting them and look how good he did. I actually think that W was getting some, but not enough. Should have given him a bottle of Scotch and a room full of hot interns and we probably would have just kicked Afganistan's ass (like we did within months), killed Osama, and not wasted money and lives trying to rebuild the place. After all, it was broken when we found it... "I found it that way" works for Homer Simpson, why not for the POTUS?
To help Obama in term two, if he wins, the secret service should make sure he gets a BJ er'y day from a different stripper. Hot ones. All 9's and 10's. fuck, why not some 11's too. Some introduced to him on their 18th birthday! Then we would be gettin' some good gummint.
If Romney wins we're fucked because he'll have a hard time sneaking Carlos into the WH without the press noticing. Maybe we can hope that Jeff Gannon/James Guckert over for some "press conferences" (I have no idea whether Romney swings that way, both candidates are prob'ly as straight laced as they seem... dumbfucks... as POTUS could be getting primo pussy and ass [or dick if they swing that way])
Regardless, both will continue spending... And eroding civil liberties... And maybe start a war or two...
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12 years ago
You da man juice! I'm going to try your strategy! $300 day 1, $600 day 2, on up 'till the hottest girl in the club agrees to OTC. FUCK YEAH!
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12 years ago
Mostly water or diet coke/Pepsi. In my misspent youth I drank and drugged, but as an middle aged dude I focus on hot girls. OK, as a youth I also focused on hot girls, and I indulge in booze on rare occasion now, but it is really the hot girls that do it for me
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12 years ago
It is common for pharma companies to test drugs for a wide variety of biological activities. I would have thought Viagra was pretty well characterized by now and it sounds like this was academic scientists, but the big picture of trying it for other activities doesn't surprise.
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12 years ago
When you worry about shit like "she is somebody's daughter", just remember that Iran don't have strip clubs. Saudi Arabia don't have strip clubs. Be an American and stand up for America! It is your duty, my man!
Unlike bumfuck Middle Eastern countries, in America you can pay a hot teen girl to take off her clothes and show you her pussy and tits and ass. Then you can pay her to sit in your lap and suck her tits and grab your dick and... I say it again, GOD BLESS AMERICA. And I mean that, unlike the fucking politicians. I mean it even though I'm an atheist!
Of course, my experiences in Canada have been even better. Last time I was there an early 20s blonde with natural D cups and a nice body told me exactly how much she wanted for specific, ahem, services. No beating around the bush (her bush was shaved off, of course). So GOD BLESS CANADA TOO! Canada rocks!
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12 years ago
Dude, your name says says you're a perv. Embrace your inner perv my man!
How do you do that? Don't think about a strippers dad, my brothah. Think "this chick likes dick...she likes it in her mouth, she likes it in her cunt, and she likes it up her tight asshole. I need to help this beautiful 18 year old out, because SHE needs dick so much!"
Don't think about the truth the she really likes money and horny middle aged dudes who give it to her. Her job is to convince you that she wants your dick. That she wants it so BAD it hurts. If she does a good job of convincing you, you are disrespecting her work ethic. Don't dis anybody's work ethic. It is UNAMERICAN!
As a patriotic MFers it is our duty to chase 18-20 year old strippers and put our dicks in them (for a small fee, have to keep the economy going, after all). GOD FUCKING BLESS AMERICA!!!!
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12 years ago
Don't be dissin' the juiceman for not workin'. I'm sure he just stops by the club after work. Work focused on being' a crazy strip club lovin' MFer, of course.
You the man juice, we can count on you providing crazy ass comments. You need to be takin' care o' bidness, my friend. PARTY ON and fuck those strippers in every hole. You need to go back to fuckin' 'em 5 fuckin' days a week my man. We are counting on you!
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12 years ago
C'mon, Monsieur Drac, take a chill pill. Just don't drive after. You do know that there are ways of going from point A to point B without driving, n'est-ce pas? In the above story the Klingon titty bar was chosen for two reasons: I didn't know the strippers were Klingons and it was walking distance from my bud's place.
Even if a place isn't walking dist, there are these magical moving boxes in many cities where you can hold out your hand and they stop and a crazy dude takes you wherever you want in exchange for money. Typically the dudes who provide this service are crazy MFs, but my experience is that they typically aren't wasted. Well, sometimes they are, but if they are you should probably get ahold of a cop. Good for two things: getting a crazy MF that is all high off the streets and distracts that particular cop from bravely trying to bust strippers doing what they do best (ok, I know thex latter is done by vice cops, but it sounded better to give two reasons...)
In big cities these "taxis" are pretty easy to get. Wouldn't have worked in the north valley of Abq tho', hence the walkin'.
Seriously folks, don't do drink or do drugs and drive. Drive someplace and THEN get yo-sef as wasted as yo wanna be! (Just have a plan to get home or back to your hotel; after all, we're not crazy MFers, are we?)
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12 years ago
I'm an atheist, so no church for me.
However, I did have the idea of starting my own church in my 20s. The plan was a version of xianity that involve lots of sex with hot chicks. An cruising around in a bus following the Dead. And shrooms and acid and weed were necessary to keep in good standing.
Clubbing would be a sacrament because strip club beer can be transformed into the blood of Christ. The Catholics have it wrong, you see, because it is the presence of beer in close proximity to a strippers exposed pussy that causes transsubstantiation. Priests can't do it. At least that was my story at the time. Idea seemed really good when I had dropped some windowpane and the walls were melting.
Alas, I didn't begin my religion. But at least I can afford strippers now that I'm middle aged. And who knows, perhaps I'll retire and go cruise the country convincing hot ass strippers to become my deciples. Wife wouldn't understand, but a man has got to follow his god...
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12 years ago
Juice, you are one crazy MF.
Don't listen to this be true to your girl BS. if she has stripper friends come over to hang out, she has got to expect you to fuck those bitches in every hole and jizz on their faces. I tell you man, she WANTS you to do that! Like the Nike commercial, just do it!
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12 years ago
Anybody who enjoys a LD with cum in pants should do so. Often cheaper than a BJ or FS (sometimes a HJ even costs a little more) so if just the LD is enough why not go for it.
Personally I'm with juice. LDs are for playing with tits, getting BJs, putting a finger or two in the kitty, and whatever else you can convince the stripper to do for you.
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12 years ago
@staxwell. Better to have two girls and fuck one while the other sucks your balls... (not that I've successfully had that good a two girl experience...somehow two girls sounds better than it actually turns out to be)
I agree with juice that jacking' it in front of a girl before and/or after getting' some sloppy BJ action is pretty fuckin' cool. Especially if you can jizz on the babe's face or in her mouth. Just like being a porn star.
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12 years ago
@staxwell. Better to have two girls and fuck one while the other sucks your balls... (not that I've successfully had that good a two girl experience...somehow two girls sounds better than it actually turns out to be)
I agree with juice that jacking' it in front of a girl before and/or after getting' some sloppy BJ action is pretty fuckin' cool. Especially if you can jizz on the babe's face or in her mouth. Just like being a porn star.