Comments by chitownlawyer (page 6)

godfather, it is worth your while to drive a little bit west (about 25 miles) to Bonita Flats in Olathe. It is a non-pretentious little roadhouse out in the middle of nowhere, not much to look at on the outside, not a lot more on the inside, but the girls are a lot of fun and the beer is cold. (Disclaimer--I am not aware of any extras being offered or available. The dances are given in the open, as at Mons.). If I could go to one club in the KC area, BF would be it.

Timbo, I have heard that some of the "dancers" in the "strip clubs" in Tijuana have fake ass cheeks, although I have not seen it myself. Some of those same "Dancers" are also said to have their lowest rib removed bilaterally to get a smaller waist. I have certainly seen some Tj "dancers" for whom that is plausible. One of the court personnel in my town had calf implants. Unfortunately, she had since lost a lot of weight, so the implants are very conspicuous.

For some reason, I don't connect the music with the dancer on stage. I either pay attention to the dancer or to the music, but not to both simultaneously. I think I might have sensory overload while looking at naked women shake their butts.

One man's blight is an other man's sweet indulgence.

Precedent has been broken...I have found a dancer whose appearance was improved by implants. At my usual club, there was a dancer who had literally no boobs...she was truly flat as a board. The only thing to distinguish her chest from that of a boy was a little puffiness around the nipples, and there wasn't much of that. However, she was a very naughty dancer in VIP, and has a great butt. She got fired from that club for getting caught letting a guy DATY her in VIP. I found her recently at another club...she got implants that make her a big, but honest, B. They are proportional to her height and frame, and look quite good. I never thought I was see implants as a good thing, but as I say, precedent has been broken.

I have found that OTC girls I have known in the past like the following: 1. Any brand of White Zinfandel 2. Mike's Hard Lemonade (one finished an entire six pack and sent me out for another. I was concerned she was setting me up for cash-n-dash--so I took her shoes and top). 3. Bailey's straight, on the rocks. I always bring gin, vermouth, and tonic water for myself, and no dancer has ever gone near any of these, or any drink made by any combination of them.

I think that big breasts are attractive to men's reptilian brains because they are a sign that the woman can nurse a baby, and therefore is a worthy depository of one's sperm, from the point of evolutionary concern, and perpetuating the race. I think that women wear high heeled shoes because they push the butt out, which we find attractive, because we imagine pulling it towards our hips and inserting the intercontinental ballistic heat-seeking missile. Over the years, I have heard disparaging remarks about breasts. Flat-chested women who think they have good legs say things like, "Boobs are for babies, legs are for men." I used to have a (now-deceased) law partner who had been raised on a farm. Whenever someone would compliment a woman's breasts, he would say, "On the farm, we had 75 head of heifers who were bigger than that. Maybe you should try out one of those." Judging by fertility totems from the Middle East of several thousand years ago, it appears that our great-to-the-100th power-grandfathers were most attracted by, and most idealized, what would now be called "ghetto booty." I have to say, as I have progressed thirty years out from puberty, my erotic interests in women have descended from the breasts to the hips and belly. I also have much more of an appreciation of well-shaped small breasts, esp. since so many large breasts these days are fakes.

Fear of rejection, just like everyone else. How many people are really good at cold-calling? That's, in essence, what these gals are doing.

I was in BBF in Indy, sitting at the stage, watching Doug's ATF dance. As I reached in my pocket for a bill to tip, I lost my grip on my money, and shower of $50s and $20s fell on the floor. Another stripper came up to the stage, sat down next to me, and helped me pick up the bills (I got them all back...I had just gotten to the club, so I had a good count on what I should have had). SHe then started to caress and kiss me, and unbutton my shirt to the waist. I said, aren't you supposed to let the customers alone when they are at another girl's stage?" She said, "I make my own rules." At this point, I was almost as naked as any other customer in the club, so I said we should go back to VIP, which was crowded. We found a place to sit, with no more than three feet away from other couples. She then pulled out The Associate and gave me a hand job. After the rapturous consummation, she said, "Pay me what you think my time was worth." (I can't remember what I gave her) She then left me alone, with my pants around my knees, thinking how shocked I would be if I was one of the other customers in VIP--because I was pretty damned shocked myself. I never saw her on subsequent visits, and heard she got fired for dealing in the locker room. I asked about her once, and the dancer said, "Oh, you hang with all the wild ones."

Neither--defilement.

I think that everybody on this board who has indulged in The Hobby for any period of time has been taken by a stripper at least once. Distinctions in the stupidity that any of us have exhibited over the years due to strippers are not of kind, only of degree.

I'm happy not to have herpes, and plan on keeping it that way. However, let's keep things in perspective. According to the CDC, 20% of the adult population has HSV2, and I wouldn't say that 1 in 5 U.S. adults lives a life of misery. I was in college in the early 80s, when genital herpes hit the white middle class, and the cry coming out of the student health service was, "Oh, my God, it's herpes!" I was in law school in the middle 80s, when AIDs started to hit, and the cry coming out of the student health service was, "Oh, thank God, it's only herpes!" I have done the DATY thing here in the US, and not thought a thing about it. On the other hand, I won't DATY in Tijuana, which is ironic, because I think that most Mexican girls are cleaner than most American strippers.

Things are dead in ESL clubs. For what it's worth, dancers blame the economy and recent statewide anti-smoking ban. However, the local prosecutor said flat-out that the ban is ambiguous and otherwise poorly written, and has advised LE departments in the county that if they issue any citations, his assistants have directions to dismiss them on request. And the only change I've noticed re smoking is that the number of ashtrays is down by half, and they no longer contain boxes of matches...you have to ask at the bar. The dancers have not yet heard about the ban. Over the years, dancers have told me that the end of the post-Christmas slump is when employed workers get tax refunds. As I understand it, the IRS was late in getting the tax forms out this year due to last-minute changes in the alternative minimum tax. The 2007 tax forms/instructions were supposed to come out during the first week of February, so electronic filers should be getting refunds in a couple of weeks. I'll be interested in seeing if that causes things to perk up...also interested in seeing how much of the "stimulus" ends up being truly "stimulating" by being spent in sc's. I won't be getting one myself, but if I did, it would go to stimulate the Mexican economy.

I'm a wimp...I've always figured that if it is one the menu, the dancer will bring it up. On the other hand, I've found that it is frequently available, and they frequently do bring it up...or just do it without talking about it. Half of the time I've gotten blow jobs in strip clubs, I haven't paid anything more than the cost of the "normal" dances. njscfan, reading your posts shows the great diversity of services available in strip clubs in the US. You describe sucking a dancer's tits as an extra...in the East St. Louis clubs I go to, they put their nipples in your mouth...at the stage! I love reading stripper misconceptions about LE. LE can feel up a stripper, can take their own pants down and show the stripper their junk, can show a (fake) id, and still proceed with the set-up and bust. A couple of years ago, a vice squad in TX had a couple of guys who were fucking the girls, then arresting them. The only thing vice can't do is initiate the actual illegal act, as this is entrapment. But they can lead the girl up to the edge, and let her dive over it, so long as what the copper says is not improper. Example: Entrapment: Cop: Hey, Lady, would you give me a blow job for $50? This is entrapment, because the hooker can always claim that she had no intention of engaging in an illicit act until the cop suggested it. Not entrapment: Cop: How naughty can you get? Dancer: How naughty do you want to get? Cop: I want you to take care of me. Dancer: How about I suck you off for $50? Ding! Ding! Ding! The first illegal suggestion came from the hooker's mouth, not the cop's, so this can give rise to legitimate charges.

I'm usually going to a club straight from the office. The most I will do in preparation is stop off somewhere and get some gum for my breath, or if I happen to be at home immediately before embarking, brush my teeth. Clubber's experience is the same as mine...anytime I have needed rubbers, the dancers have had them. The only exception is that when I have gone to Tijuana (a big deal, as I am in the Midwest), I do bring US condoms...I don't trust the brand they give out as part of the room rent in the hotels next door to/above the whorehouses....STRIP CLUBS, I mean STRIP CLUBS!!!!!

rootman, don't flip out too much. The disbarment case is really a reason for not drinking and driving, and opposed to staying out of strip clubs. In fact, the Federal court opinion upholding his disbarment doesn't even mention that his drinking took place at a strip club. http://www.ca8.uscourts.gov/opndir/98/07/972005P.pdf However, the fact remains that accidents can happen anywhere, but not all accident scenes are equal. If your serious injury occurs because you slipped on spilled communion wine at Church, it's just not going to make the same headlines as if you slipped on some spilled beer at a strip club.

About three months ago, a stripper asked me to go to dinner with her, with the prospect of dessert afterward, w/o pay. I turned her down because she violated my rule that I won't go to a restaurant unless the food is better than what I can get at home. However, even if she had passed that test, I would have turned her down because she told me that she has bipolar disorder. I only saw "Fatal Attraction" once, but it made an impression.

No, Chandler, you didn't corrupt me, merely showed me that I didn't have to travel 220 miles to be corrupted. If anything, my life is much more forthright now that I have dropped the hypocrisy of living one life at home, and another on the road. Although my life is certainly different than it was before you led me to Dollie's, you didn't take me anywhere I didn't already want to go. And you can't be held accountable for what I have done on the other side of the beads since, as we know, you don't even partake of that pleasure. That was Cara's fault.

Another paranoid fear...Chandler introduced me to an ESL club that is in a very questionable neighborhood. I probably go there once every couple of months, for a change of pace. I feel comfortable there, a fact that scares me about myself. In any event, the club is at the end of a street that includes a residential area and sometimes, particularly on warm days/evenings, the streets of full of people milling around, taking their sweet time crossing the road, etc. I sometimes think about what a life-ruining experience it would be to hit someone, esp. a child, as I was leaving the club. Even if I hadn't been drinking (and I drink very little any more, under any circumstances), people would assume I was loaded. And because this club is located in an impoverished black area, the socio-economic angle of a white lawyer from one of the more affluent towns on his way home from a strip club hitting a poor black child would be impossible for the press to resist. People who have read my favorite modern novel, Tom Wolfe's "Bonfire of the Vanities" will get the picture. My life would be gone--disbarred ("conduct tending to bring the legal profession into disrepute"--I'm serious), bankrupt (uninsured punitive damages assessed against me at trial for drinking while driving), divorced (for obvious reasons), imprisoned (reckless homicide). A couple of years ago I wrote about a colleague of mine who, in the mid 90s, had made the grand tour of the ESL clubs when his wife was out of town. At 5:00 am, he was driving drunk, the wrong way down a state highway, driving the wrong way to get to his intended destination of his home in St. Louis, and struck and killed a 15 year old farm boy who was on his way to work at Grandpa's produce stand at the St. Louis farmer's market. The lawyer was convicted of reckless or vehicular homicide and DUI, and spent a year in a county jail that is said to be fairly brutal (experienced criminals have said they would rather go to the State penitentiary), but survived the experience. Missouri disbarred him, but D.C. never did, so his lost his practice in St. Louis, but relocated to D.C., where I understand he is doing well. His insurance company paid the civil damages (claim resolved without him having to pay punitive damages, which are uninsurable). Amazingly, and finally relevant to this thread, his wife stood by him, and they are still married. But I bet she makes his life hell.

The fact that this thread has drawn so many responses shows that strippers do, in fact, "entertain the married men of America." One night DougS and I were at Brad's Brass Flamingo when we were visited at our table by a very young (probably 19 y/o dancer), who started lecturing us on the fact that she had no issue with dancing for single guys, but was disgusted by the idea of dancing for married men. I can't recall if it was me or Doug who broke the news to her that her philosophy would cut her off from 80% of her customers.

"Would you tell a dancer at a nude club that she has an ugly pussy" No, because that is redundant. All pussies are ugly. Thank God for boobs, asses, long necks, bellies, thighs, the side of the torso where the breasts start to arise, slim hands with long tapered fingers, eyes that say "come fuck me, Counsel", etc.

Once you have visited the red light district in Tijuana, you will understand the virtues of outsourcing your demand for la panocha. As soon as I see those brown nipples, my heart melts. Globalization is the current wave--ride it, baby!!!

Actually, Godfather, I did not mention "dying" of a heart attack in a strip club...and for good reason. From my point of view, far worse than dying of a heart attack that occurred in a strip club would be _not dying_ from the heart attack...and awakening in the cardiac intensive care unit in a hospital far from my hometown (located in a town to which I may or may not have told my wife I was going), seeing my wife and children standing around my hospital bed, and wondering how long it would be until the subject arose of the location I was at when I was stricken.... My wife is pretty low key. Probably all she would ever say directly about it would be, "serves you right."

I go to clubs alone, because my strip club life is something that I could not share with the overwhelming majority of people that I know in "real life." A couple of times, when I have seen men I would describe as "cordial collagues" (friendly in professional life, but no outside socializing with them) at clubs, we have, by agreement, ignored each other, and not said anything to each other when meeting again in professional settings. However, on those occasions when I have met up with fellow TUSCL'ers at clubs, I have had a great time. In fact, Chandler introduced me to some of the clubs from which I live about twenty miles, and also acquainted me with his zen-like appreciation of stage dancing as an art form...an aesthetic that I envy in him. Last month, in TJ, I met up with several guys that I know from another board. We had a great time, and they introduced me to some places that I would never have had the stones to go to one my own.

David9999, GPS was a big issue a couple of years ago when I was doing OTC with a stripper who lived with a police officer. He was also very jealous, and called every ten minutes or so when were trying to OTC. It occurred to me that his department almost certainly had a device that would allow him to do a GPS search for her cell phone, and thus track us down to our hotel of choice, with his service revolver. I was so jarred by the experience that it was all I could do to focus enough to cum. However, I rose to the occasion.