There are a few approaches. I've asked right at the table before a dance so she knows that I'm a decent tipper but am interested in getting off. Or, as the lap proceeds, help her understand by moving her hands and even then, just ask. usually, you'll get some who resist at first but if you're smooth enough to convince them you're not a cop or club rat, they do it. BJ's are obviously harder, it's different territory for some and it usually follows a series of HJ's unless she's a real slut. Tell them what you want, it's a faster route unless you really like the longer chase.
I've asked dancers "How naughty can you get" in a private dance and gotten some pretty decent responses. If they slam the door shut then move on. Many will ask what you are looking for (which, by answering of course, is solicitation), but you can probably be a little more direct.
If you read one of my other posts I am also wondering how to get more out of a current dance relationship. I do like ClevelandToms "how naughty can you get" line. A friend of mine who clubs a lot in Houston says he asks "do you play?" He is always telling me he has a club there that he can get a BBBJ and a beer for $ 80.00. You could always ask her what "extras" she can provide. I had a beautiful girl tell me the other night as we bagan a 3 for 50 session that for a good tip she would provide good "extras". I was able to DATY and finger her kitty during the third dance. She was SO yummy. It was not in a private area so I did not expect a BJ or HJ. Good luck.
I'm sure this may not be the answer you are looking for, but I simply never ask, and instead let my hands do the talking. My theory is this. If the girl won't provide any extras, then she will not let me do things like put my hands on or near her pussy, won't let me suck on her tits, etc. It's sort of the same as in civilian life. If the girl won't let you feel her up, it's a pretty good bet she won't let you fuck her, right? If the girl is willing to do more, but only OTC, then my experience is that she will say so (e.g., I can't do this here, but let's meet afterward). If the girl is willing to fuck you right then and there, then she will already have a price in mind for admission. This kind of girl will respond to being felt up by quoting a price and telling you pretty much exactly what you can get for that price. There simply are some girls at some of these clubs who have made a firm decision to supplement their incomes through prostitution. Those girls have a price structure in mind. In my experience, it really is that simple. Bear in mind that I do not just grab someone's tit or ass. This is something I work up to gradually over time, which is going to require more than 1 dance. But within 2 or 3 dances you will know if you have hit a cul de sac or not.
The problem with verbally asking them what they will do for $$ is that to most girls you will sound like a cop. My experience is that they are going to be wary of any guy who openly says (in whatever coded language) how much for X, or will you give me X. I know a number of escorts who take the policy that the second the guy discusses performing a specific act, or mentions anything about money, the "date" is over. (But they have no problem with you plunking down a pile of money and taking off your clothes. They just don't want to talk about it.) Going way back in my history, I remember that one of the first times I picked up a streetwalker (in the 80s), before she discussed anything she demanded that I firmly place my hand on her behind. She felt no cop would openly feel up her ass on the street. Maybe it's a bad assumption, but the "extras" girls feel a little less wary of a guy who has some skin in the game.
I'm a wimp...I've always figured that if it is one the menu, the dancer will bring it up. On the other hand, I've found that it is frequently available, and they frequently do bring it up...or just do it without talking about it. Half of the time I've gotten blow jobs in strip clubs, I haven't paid anything more than the cost of the "normal" dances.
njscfan, reading your posts shows the great diversity of services available in strip clubs in the US. You describe sucking a dancer's tits as an extra...in the East St. Louis clubs I go to, they put their nipples in your mouth...at the stage!
I love reading stripper misconceptions about LE. LE can feel up a stripper, can take their own pants down and show the stripper their junk, can show a (fake) id, and still proceed with the set-up and bust. A couple of years ago, a vice squad in TX had a couple of guys who were fucking the girls, then arresting them. The only thing vice can't do is initiate the actual illegal act, as this is entrapment. But they can lead the girl up to the edge, and let her dive over it, so long as what the copper says is not improper. Example:
Entrapment: Cop: Hey, Lady, would you give me a blow job for $50?
This is entrapment, because the hooker can always claim that she had no intention of engaging in an illicit act until the cop suggested it.
Not entrapment: Cop: How naughty can you get?
Dancer: How naughty do you want to get?
Cop: I want you to take care of me.
Dancer: How about I suck you off for $50?
Ding! Ding! Ding! The first illegal suggestion came from the hooker's mouth, not the cop's, so this can give rise to legitimate charges.
My (few) experiences with extras is the dancer will initiate it... From there you have to seal the deal. The only time I ever "asked" she responded with a flat no. Just get the lap, spend some money, theres a degree of luck involved... Until they know you well atleast...
I have the same experiences as Jester. They always initiate it. I've even had a couple spontaneous HJ/BJ experiences without any discussion beforehand. Asking overtly, on the other hand, is way too much trouble.
I have never asked. Everytime it has just happened. I agree that a girl who is willing to allow you to touch her is more likely to touch you. Just make it easy for them to do it. No pressure. No expectations, be respectful. They will go as far as they want to go whether you ask or not. I belive that beggars can't be choosers.
Sounds like most of you guys are saying to just treat it like a real dating (courtship) situation. I guess (most) of us would not ask a real date for a HJ....of course we would not offer to pay our date for it either. I suppose it is more exciting for it to just happen naturally without having to ask for it.
I've never asked but I've had a few that just pulled it out and went to work. The most recent one made me laugh because when she did she says "that's a big old one" and then says that it was in the wow category. I never had heard that one before. She says that she got that expression from a sex toy convention where they had a device to measure a man that replaced inches with words. When you got above 9 inches, the word was wow.
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I've asked dancers "How naughty can you get" in a private dance and gotten some pretty decent responses. If they slam the door shut then move on. Many will ask what you are looking for (which, by answering of course, is solicitation), but you can probably be a little more direct.
The problem with verbally asking them what they will do for $$ is that to most girls you will sound like a cop. My experience is that they are going to be wary of any guy who openly says (in whatever coded language) how much for X, or will you give me X. I know a number of escorts who take the policy that the second the guy discusses performing a specific act, or mentions anything about money, the "date" is over. (But they have no problem with you plunking down a pile of money and taking off your clothes. They just don't want to talk about it.) Going way back in my history, I remember that one of the first times I picked up a streetwalker (in the 80s), before she discussed anything she demanded that I firmly place my hand on her behind. She felt no cop would openly feel up her ass on the street. Maybe it's a bad assumption, but the "extras" girls feel a little less wary of a guy who has some skin in the game.
njscfan, reading your posts shows the great diversity of services available in strip clubs in the US. You describe sucking a dancer's tits as an extra...in the East St. Louis clubs I go to, they put their nipples in your mouth...at the stage!
I love reading stripper misconceptions about LE. LE can feel up a stripper, can take their own pants down and show the stripper their junk, can show a (fake) id, and still proceed with the set-up and bust. A couple of years ago, a vice squad in TX had a couple of guys who were fucking the girls, then arresting them. The only thing vice can't do is initiate the actual illegal act, as this is entrapment. But they can lead the girl up to the edge, and let her dive over it, so long as what the copper says is not improper. Example:
Entrapment: Cop: Hey, Lady, would you give me a blow job for $50?
This is entrapment, because the hooker can always claim that she had no intention of engaging in an illicit act until the cop suggested it.
Not entrapment: Cop: How naughty can you get?
Dancer: How naughty do you want to get?
Cop: I want you to take care of me.
Dancer: How about I suck you off for $50?
Ding! Ding! Ding! The first illegal suggestion came from the hooker's mouth, not the cop's, so this can give rise to legitimate charges.